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   THE BEGINNING

   David Letterman made 4 unusual sounds in a row and said: "Ladies and
   Gentlemen, it is time for stupid human tricks.  This week we have with
   us a deranged American president who will sit on my shoulder and
   sing us a little song".

  "But before any of that Paul Shaffer here will put his own genitals
   in his own mouth and gurgle them in lieu of an intro song."

  "That's because we fired our entire writing staff to appease our
   corporate overlords.  From now on everything will be written by the CEO's
   Japanese toilet"

   BADUHM TSHHH

   Dave looks at the camera and stares at it until you're hard.

   Suddenly a ladder opens up at the top of the stage and a man is seen
   descending from the ceiling to the tune of the 1980s hit The Final
   Countdown.

  "This is exactly what's wrong with America today", said the president.
  "This sort of nasty extremist late night propaganda should be banned from
   American airwaves, otherwise our children will go crazy and eat
   everybody's crayons."

  "SING MR PRESIDENT, SING LIKE THE LITTLE CORPORATE SELLOUT YOU ARE", yelled
   David Letterman at the president from the top of his desk, as he fumed
   at the mouth and released a primal scream into the studio sky.

   Suddenly Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Fillion, Jason Alexander, Stevie Colbert,
   and Carrot Top took off their masks to reveal that they are in fact the
   top late night talk show hosts in America and Turkey.

  "We are the Avengers of late night comedy and we are here to save the
   Constitution", they announced in harmony and in unison.

  "ENGAGE THE BITS"

   The talk show hosts took off their pants and exposed their extravagantly
   not safe for work dangly bits.  And some say you could hear the networks
   shut down one by one, as the mere glistening reflections on the shafts of
   the cocks of the late night talk show hosts caused a chain reaction of
   civilization collapse in only 17 minutes and 15 seconds, starting with
   New Jersey.

   The beavers were the only animals who survived the catastrophe, as
   supply chain issues related to civilization collapse killed the bees, the
   plankton, and the coral reefs, which killed everything else.  Except for
   the beavers, who somehow survived by building dams.

   Then a duck came out of nowhere and rose to power, ruling over the beavers,
   who eventually created talk shows to discuss the wisdom of allowing a duck
   to rule beaver civilization or even be in charge of any part of the dam
   design or construction process.

   THE END
COMNTwritten by warpus for a blender                                 SAUCE00BEAVER TIME                        warpus              YAK                 20250728J
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