发信人: LifeSucks (小懒猪|- -b), 信区: FreeArt
标 题: [圣诞献礼]JOKE版2005年度原创笑话特刊创刊号
发信站: 自由空间 (Sat Dec 24 16:48:03 2005), 站内
平安夜里要平安,圣诞节前看月刊
哈哈哈~~~~: }
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└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││^^││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲︶╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ◣ ◣ ╲
\ ╲_/ / ◥◣◢◤ Merry X'mas~ ╱\ │
╲____╱ ◢███◣ \_╯/
█████ 特刊说明:  ̄
█████ 本刊结集了Joke@FreeEE版
█████ 2005的部分精彩原创笑话。 ____
◢█████◣ 有不少原创非常精彩,但是 ╱ _ ╲
◢███████◣ 过长而不适合入选特刊, / / ╲ \
╲_____◥◤_____╱ 在此表示遗憾…… \ ∨ │ │
╲__╱ /
╱
本特刊版权系自由空间站Joke版所有,欢迎转载 /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ │ ╱╲
╲ 转载请保持作品完整 ╱ <__/ Start \__> ╲ 转载请注明出处作者 ╲___/
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______ ▲ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ◢〓◣ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││εε││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲–╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 量子老师吕嵘语录(P2) ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ 写写回家几天跟老妈相处:)(P4) ╲
\ ╲_/ / 发现坐在情侣旁边吃饭是件损人不利己的事(P10) ╱\ │
╲____╱ 我的一首最损的缩脚诗(P11) \_╯/
今天在路上见到了Dustar(P12)  ̄
糗啊(P14)
刚才交电磁场作业两份到课代表处(P16) ____
哇哈哈哈(P17) ╱ _ ╲
昨天地铁上两个女人吵架挺有趣(P18) / / ╲ \
今天在北区洗澡,碰上恶人了(P19) \ ∨ │ │
喝牛奶(P20) ╲__╱ /
Re: 请问各位学长学姐(P21) ╱
偶和牛昨晚的对话(P22) /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 0 \__> ╲ ╲___/
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______ ▲ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ◢〓◣ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││∧∧││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲▽╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 大一的英语课复习课上(P23) ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ 今天早上回到14#西(P25) ╲
\ ╲_/ / Re:根干枝花叶实,桃谷六仙怎么只剩两个了??(P26)╱\ │
╲____╱ 前两天在超市(P27) \_╯/
仁者见仁(x)(P28)  ̄
舞会见闻(P29)
今天上机(P30) ____
数据库助教太可爱了(P31) ╱ _ ╲
宿舍哥们做语音(P32) / / ╲ \
大一忆事:)(P33) \ ∨ │ │
前天在银行....(P34) ╲__╱ /
TSE教训(P35) ╱
最佳短re文(P36) /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 1 \__> ╲ ╲___/
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______ ∩__∩ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││^^││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ω╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 量子老师吕嵘语录 —— kukumalu等 ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 1 补退选那一天,看到人比较少。 ╱\ │
╲____╱ 问:“怎么人这么少?。” \_╯/
生答:“去补退选了  ̄
师:“哦————(沉吟半晌)都去退这门课了啊:(”
____
2 其实,还有另外一个老师上这门课的。 ╱ _ ╲
大家可以去选他的课…… / / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
3 这个公式太复杂了,我拷,大家千万别记! ╲__╱ /
╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <下面还有哦> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 2 \__> ╲ ╲___/
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______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││``││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ˋ╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ 4 (一天上课,遇到3/4这个数字) ╲
\ ╲_/ / 首先“3分之4……”众笑。然后“3除以4……” ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
5 (前几日,课件上一个“;”)  ̄
(沉吟) “……一点加逗号”
____
6 (一个公式C(j,m……)) 边写别说“C (bulabula) ” ╱ _ ╲
/ / ╲ \
7 在一棵苹果树下,有一只羊,还有一头牛。。。 \ ∨ │ │
顿。。。 ╲__╱ /
╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 3 \__> ╲ ╲___/
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______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││ ' '││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ˇ╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 写写回家几天跟老妈相处:) ——litmon ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 老妈:你读完研是做什么来着? ╱\ │
╲____╱ me: ◎¥%……%#¥……这次记住了吧? \_╯/
路人甲:你们家姑娘以后干啥了啊?  ̄
老妈:……,……,对了,人家部队保密不让俺说
____
me:妈你新买的手机真难看 ╱ _ ╲
老妈:就买难看的,买了好看的你抢去怎么办 / / ╲ \
me:……那我不能自己买个好看的啊 ╭○ ○≈ \ ∨ │ │
老妈:你不怕我抢就买好了 <塁﹀≈ /嚚> ╲__╱ /
me:……咱俩就比谁的难看吧…… |\ /| ╱
__ /
/ ̄> ╱ ╲ ╱ ̄╲ <下面还有哦> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 4 \__> ╲ ╲___/
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______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││のの││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲,╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ 老妈:这个手机怎么拍照啊? ╲
\ ╲_/ / me: %#◎#…… ╱\ │
╲____╱ 老妈:拍的不清楚 \_╯/
me: 手机显示屏分辨率低,我传到电脑上让你看  ̄
老妈:清楚不就看见皱纹了,不看
____
me: 你一会儿嫌我不理你一会儿嫌我说得多, ╱ _ ╲
你到底让俺杂办呢 / / ╲ \
老妈:我更年期,更年期当然这样了, \ ∨ │ │
我更年期你不得让着我嘛 ╲__╱ /
me: ………… ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <下面还有哦> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 5 \__> ╲ ╲___/
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______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││^^││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲▽╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ 老妈:你别教我那么复杂的,你妈我就会上网打牌 ╲
\ ╲_/ / 老妈:你别教我那么复杂的,你妈我就会听歌 ╱\ │
╲____╱ 老妈:你别教我那么复杂的,我会看笑话就行了 \_╯/
老妈:nannan,怎么聊天啊  ̄
……
____
me: 老妈他们怎么都叫你“大姐”? ╱ _ ╲
老妈(自豪):当然了,我现在是单位上公认的大姐 / / ╲ \
me: 哎呦,这么一叫不就显老了 \ ∨ │ │
老妈:不明白了吧,每回有生人见了叫我大姐的都问: ╲__╱ /
哎呦你多大啊,我怎么看着你比***年轻啊 ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <下面还有哦> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 6 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││––〣│ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲―╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ 老妈:nannan,俺玩会电脑 ╲
\ ╲_/ / me: 妈你已经打了一天麻将了…… ╱\ │
╲____╱ 老妈:可是我现在不打了 \_╯/
me: 因为现在是凌晨十二点亲爱的老妈,  ̄
你应该睡觉了,皮肤才会好
老妈:我更年期,更年期晚上睡不着 ____
me: 快去睡觉! ╱ _ ╲
老妈:那你睡了我再偷偷爬起来玩 / / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
me: 老妈你要这样这样护肤…… ╲__╱ /
老妈:俺不,俺这就比一样大的人显年轻,哈哈 ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <下面还有哦> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 7 \__> ╲ ╲___/
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______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││‘‘││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲▽╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 老妈:nannan你看我穿这个裙子好看吧 ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ me:岁月悠悠啊 ╲
\ ╲_/ / %#&^#^&#^%& ╱\ │
╲____╱ me:老妈你穿着裙子是追不上我di~ \_╯/
 ̄
路人甲:哎呦这是你闺女啊,这么大啦?俺看你挺年轻的啊
老妈(不假思索):前屋的(意思是我老爸前妻的女儿) ____
me:…… ╱ _ ╲
路人甲:怪不得,长得也不像 / / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
老妈:今天又有人夸俺闺女越长越俊啦 ╲__╱ /
me:一般一般…… ╱
老妈:越长越像我啦 /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <下面还有哦> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 8 \__> ╲ ╲___/
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______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱//╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││ ‥ ││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲﹫╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ 老妈:为啥俺闺女这么漂亮nie ╲
\ ╲_/ / me(训练有素):基因漂亮 ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
老妈:闺女这么俊以后找个婆家要有钱又有本事,  ̄
小男孩儿还得挺精神的
me: 您以为我爸是胡锦涛那 ____
老妈:不是胡锦涛是他亲家也行啊 ╱ _ ╲
/ / ╲ \
老妈常说的两句话: \ ∨ │ │
--我更年期你不许惹我生气哈 ╲__╱ /
--咱染色体都比别人好看 ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 9 \__> ╲ ╲___/
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______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││﹥﹤││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲^╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 发现坐在情侣旁边吃饭是件损人不利己的事 ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ——ninikin ╲
\ ╲_/ / 桃李,午饭,买一煎鸡蛋 ╱\ │
╲____╱ 见一对情侣即将饭毕,正含情脉脉中 \_╯/
于是,将鸡蛋放在桌子上占座,转身去买可乐  ̄
买完可乐,回座,发现 ____
╱ _ ╲
/ / ╲ \
那对情侣正继续含情脉脉地你一口我一口地 \ ∨ │ │
…… ╲__╱ /
将我的煎鸡蛋互喂掉-_-! ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 10 \__> ╲ ╲___/
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______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││ 丷 ││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ヘ╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 我的一首最损的缩脚诗 —— shenhuanyan ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ 初二时 ╲
\ ╲_/ / 有个实习语文老师来代我们的语文课 ╱\ │
╲____╱ 她长得特别特别胖,胖得看不懂那种 \_╯/
而且非常凶,专门骂人  ̄
大家都很不爽
我于是在周记本里写了一首最损的缩脚诗: ____
╱ _ ╲
实习老师立门槛 / / ╲ \
好似把门关 \ ∨ │ │
实在是 ╲__╱ /
宽 ╱
…… /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 11 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││﹡﹡││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲~╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 今天在路上见到了Dustar ——lifeendeavor ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 他看起来略显清瘦了一些,但还是那么矍铄,那么 ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
自信, 眼神里透出对生活的渴望。  ̄
一路上我们谈了很多。他谈了自己这段时间的艰苦生活,谈了 ____
╱ _ ╲
自己被逼得彻夜磨难,但是言语间没有一丝颓废。 / / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
“我们的生活会好起来的” Dustar说,“请你替我转告全系人民, ╲__╱ /
╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <下面还有哦> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 12 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││﹖﹖││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲^╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 磨难和痛苦是打不垮我们电子人的。我们的 ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 明天必然会更好。” ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
Dustar庄重地拍了拍我的肩,眼睛朝向我的头后看去,  ̄
顺着他的目光,在沙尘的Dust中我看到远处有一颗冉冉升起的star。 ____
╱ _ ╲
“我们都要保重啊。”Dustar用双手比划了一个小桔灯送给我。 / / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
然后我们就分别了。我看着他的背影渐渐消失在远处的三教,眼睛 ╲__╱ /
╱
湿润了。骑着车子,我做了一个梦,梦见我变成了一只小蜜蜂……… /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 13 \__> ╲ <完> ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││﹦﹦││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲―╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 糗啊 ——Dustar ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 眼睛不好就是容易出糗... ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
我的眼睛300多度还有散光,平时不喜欢戴眼镜,去游  ̄
泳的时候就更不戴了,结果昨天...
____
在更衣室里看到一个小孩觉得好可爱啊,忍不住多看了两眼。 ╱ _ ╲
这时候就觉得身后一阵凉意,回头发现一个彪形大汉狠狠瞪着我。 / / ╲ \
我也觉得有点什么不对,可也不知道哪里有问题,之后也没当回事, \ ∨ │ │
换好衣服去淋浴准备游泳。 ╲__╱ /
╱
淋浴的时候看到其他几个游完了回来的小男孩也在淋浴 /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <下面还有哦> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 14 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││––││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲θ╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 这个时候我猛然反应过来了, ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
刚才看到的那是个————小女孩!@#!%!@^  ̄
____
╱ _ ╲
因为没戴眼镜又没有参照的所以当时根本就没反应过来 / / ╲ \
难怪那个大汉(可能是家长吧)那么瞪我呢 \ ∨ │ │
糗了糗了... ╲__╱ /
╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 15 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││$$││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲▽╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 刚才交电磁场作业两份到课代表处 ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ——xfavorx ╲
\ ╲_/ / ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
 ̄
课代表大人一边将作业收好一边稳重的说道:
____
“好,有两个种子了。” ╱ _ ╲
/ / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
╲__╱ /
╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 16 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││><││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲▽╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 哇哈哈哈 ——Hakkk ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ 一天看到新聞,一個女煙毒犯被抓到警局 ╲
\ ╲_/ / 員警看見她的手上有刺青 ╱\ │
╲____╱ 當著記者的面就問她 \_╯/
"你幹嘛把你男朋友的名字刺在手上"  ̄
"他叫小良是不是...啊.."
"是不是.......快說!!......" ____
"說!!!..他有沒有吸毒阿!!!....快說!!!!" ╱ _ ╲
只見那個女煙毒犯, / / ╲ \
抬起頭,帶著憤怒的眼神 \ ∨ │ │
對著警察說 ...... ╲__╱ /
這是恨啦!!!!!!恨!!!!!!...\_/!! ╱
所以說.........刺青完後最好不要再長胖了....... /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 17 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ __ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │\╱ ╲/│ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││оо││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ≡ˇ≡ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 昨天地铁上两个女人吵架挺有趣 ——girlwing ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ 昨天地铁很挤,我正被挤在人群众透不过气, ╲
\ ╲_/ / 就听见人头上方传来两个女的吵架 ╱\ │
╲____╱ A:你挤我干吗啊? \_╯/
B:我又没挤你,你自己在那里动来动去  ̄
A:什么啊?我要换到门口啊!你自己戳(上海话,意指伫在原地)
在那里,我只好绕过你啊 ____
B:我明明让你的,你自己非要挤得很起劲 ╱ _ ╲
A:你没让你没让你没让你就是没让!你就是在那里挤我!!!/ / ╲ \
……………………大家无语中…………………… \ ∨ │ │
突然, ╲__╱ /
A:你不要以为你自己屁股大! ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 18 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ │╞□□╡│ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ㄨ╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 今天在北区洗澡,碰上恶人了 ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ——Alger&laosen ╲
\ ╲_/ / laosen特快泪诉: ╱\ │
╲____╱ 我正在洗澡,发现那哥们提着那话儿在澡堂里撒尿 \_╯/
。。。。。。。还溅到我一点  ̄
Alger re道: ____
这样的我见过 ╱ _ ╲
还见过唱歌的。。。这个很正常吧 / / ╲ \
趴在地上让人搓背的 \ ∨ │ │
在地上打坐的 ╲__╱ /
拿个盆洗衣服的 ╱
还有个打军体拳的 /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 19 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ _ __∧ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ ∠╱ ╲︳ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││^﹫^││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ˇ╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 喝牛奶 ——vici ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
老公说:把牛奶喝了  ̄
我说:说亲爱的
____
╱ _ ╲
/ / ╲ \
老公说:把亲爱的牛奶喝了。 \ ∨ │ │
……………… ╲__╱ /
╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 20 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││゜゜││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲σ╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ Re: 请问各位学长学姐 ——Hakkkmm ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ max在advedu版说: "$*&%^(*……………………… ╲
\ ╲_/ / 另外每个人都有自己的闪光点,谁也没说只有成绩好 ╱\ │
╲____╱ 才能出国,多方面考虑。" \_╯/
 ̄
Hakkkmm re道:
对,比如找一个好老婆 ____
我们学校去年有一个美眉 ╱ _ ╲
耶路和哈佛争着要 / / ╲ \
耶路明确告诉她,只要过来,给她两分offer, \ ∨ │ │
让她带gg也出来 ╲__╱ /
那一年,她当之无愧被誉为,让男人少奋斗十年的杰出女性 ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 21 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││﹦﹦││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲―╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 偶和牛昨晚的对话 ——sideback ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / ╱\ │
╲____╱ 从饭店出来,牛坐在路边,醉了。 \_╯/
ziying让我们帮他把牛弄回去。  ̄
我们想把它搀过马路打车。
牛:不行,对面回不去学校。 ____
我:对,咱不回学校,咱回紫荆公寓。 ╱ _ ╲
/ / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
终于,扭过了马路! ╲__╱ /
╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 22 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││˙˙││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲^╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 大一的英语课复习课上 ——furongee ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 嗯,如果当时不是老师威胁我说 ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
“如果你不来考试,yeung就要挂掉”  ̄
我都不回去考试的, ____
因为那个课实在是p用都没有啊, ╱ _ ╲
英辅班还好歹能混个证书呢。 / / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
blueink版面re问:老师又怎么把你们俩纤细起来的? ╲__╱ /
╱
…… __ /
/ ̄> ╱ ╲ ╱ ̄╲ <下面还有哦> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 23 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││∕\││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲⌒╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ furongee答: ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / …… ╱\ │
╲____╱ 老师问:“这个同学(指没去的furongee,bm注) \_╯/
有谁认识他么?”  ̄
大家面面相觑,yeung只好不情愿的站了起来
老师就跟他说 ____
“你告诉他,如果他不来考试,你就不能及格。” ╱ _ ╲
yeung一脸无辜的说“我?” / / ╲ \
老师说“对,就是你。” \ ∨ │ │
以上内容出自yeung口述 ╲__╱ /
嗯 ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 24 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││﹁﹁││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ε╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 今天早上回到14#西 ——EdogawaConan ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
看到小黑板上赫然写道——  ̄
____
╱ _ ╲
/ / ╲ \
禁止醉倒在厕所!- -||| \ ∨ │ │
╲__╱ /
╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 25 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱﹨╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││‵●┤│ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ˊ╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ Re:根干枝花叶实,桃谷六仙怎么只剩两个了?? ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / ——sonic ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
 ̄
本来taoganxian这个网友挺活跃 ____
后来被tao和xian两个id联合投诉了 ╱ _ ╲
说太x / / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
╲__╱ /
╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 26 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││乊乊││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 前两天在超市 ——LifeSucks ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 在一个队伍等待的时候看到旁边架子上的杯子,某个 ╱\ │
╲____╱ 系列的杯子很好玩,上面是字母加小人儿。 \_╯/
我看到一个杯子上是SP,又看到一个杯子上是RT...  ̄
…………………………*&^*^%#
____
我想,咦?难道有厂家这么NB做出迎合清华大学学生的BBS口杯来 ╱ _ ╲
紫荆超市销售? / / ╲ \
再看,看到一个杯子上是OR,心想OR多少也算是BBS用语吧.. \ ∨ │ │
于是拿起一个杯子准备好好研究一下,在手里转了转发现 ╲__╱ /
原来是“SPORTS”写了一圈…… ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 27 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││x e││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ o╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 仁者见仁(x) ——OFDM ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 昨天夜里看泛函,遇到“内射”一词, ╱\ │
╲____╱ 想不起是什么意思。 \_╯/
 ̄
便问同屋的A,回答说这一阵太忙,很久没看过泛函了。
____
无奈只好发短信问一数学牛人B,片刻后收到回复: ╱ _ ╲
/ / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
╲__╱ /
“你tmd看毛片啊?问C去~” (C是一MP牛人) ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 28 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││@@││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲Ο╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 舞会见闻 ——century ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 无三年级舞会,一个哥们儿见一MM长得不错, ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
就主动上去攀谈了许久。越聊越觉得不对劲,  ̄
就问:你是清华的吧,怎么对清华这么了解? ____
╱ _ ╲
只听那MM不紧不慢的说:哦?你不认识我么? / / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
我是你们的辅导员…… ╲__╱ /
╱
汗…… /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 29 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││ ‘'││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ひ╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 今天上机 ——freax ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 一个女生和我旁边的男生闲聊说: ╱\ │
╲____╱ "哎呀你们的图怎么这么整齐,我的线都画得像蜘蛛网" \_╯/
我旁边那人马上就说了一句:"老天是公平的。"  ̄
就在我们都很莫名其妙的时候他接着说:
____
╱ _ ╲
/ / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
既然给了你如此的美貌……………… ╲__╱ /
大家都感动得吐了 ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 30 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││˙˙││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲︶╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 数据库助教太可爱了 ——puzzlemaster╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 某人作业上助教书曰: ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
“可能使你参考别人的,也可能是别人参考你的,  ̄
也可能是独立完成的,但在相关系数p>=0.8以上时,
____
助教可以提醒你要注意作业完成的独立性。 ╱ _ ╲
同志,这次没关系,下次可要注意哦” / / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
╲__╱ /
╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 31 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││ ''││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ひ╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 宿舍哥们做语音 ——alal ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ 识别10个数字 ╲
\ ╲_/ / 说:0 ╱\ │
╲____╱ 显示:6 \_╯/
遂曰:cao,这都能错  ̄
显示:8
____
Re: 宿舍哥们做语音 ——bangbangbear ╱ _ ╲
这没啥吧, / / ╲ \
想当初测试西门子手机的语音拨号的功能, \ ∨ │ │
我们同学录了一个“熊”作为拨我的电话的口音 ╲__╱ /
喊了半天没拨过来 ╱
后来一怒,喊了一个“能”,结果竟然拨通了... /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 32 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││╯╰││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲─╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 大一忆事:) ——easeplain ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 关于zhubo的。 ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
15#楼,当时还用201电话。  ̄
一次有女生来电话,zhubo拿起话筒:
“说普通话请按1,speak English press 2。” ____
那边传来“嘟”的一声。 ╱ _ ╲
zhubo:“你按的是几呀”!!!!!!!!!!! / / ╲ \
“1!” \ ∨ │ │
╲__╱ /
我们暴笑。 ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 33 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││¥¥││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ひ╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 前天在银行.... ——Dior ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 我正在柜台办理,有个年轻男子,匆匆走到旁边的柜台, ╱\ │
╲____╱ \_╯/
对职员说:" 烦您给看看这100元是真的还是假的。"  ̄
银行职员说:“如果是假的,我们就没收了。” ____
╱ _ ╲
男子说:“恩...那我给您帖在玻璃上看吧!” / / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
所有人都倒. ╲__╱ /
╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 34 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││TT││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ー╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ TSE教训 ——rhythmp ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / 以前不少人跟我说过 ╱\ │
╲____╱ 考TSE的时候在嘟一声之前不要说话 \_╯/
今天还是栽在这上了  ̄
warm up的时候就觉得节奏挺别扭的
开始正式的了,说完题过了一会儿他说 ____
╱ _ ╲
"please begin your response now" / / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
我就开始说 ╲__╱ /
过了5秒突然嘟了一声 ╱
我就很怒,下意识的很标准的反应了一句"fuck"... /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 35 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││でで││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲°╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 最佳短re文 ——恶搞水车s ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ╲
\ ╲_/ / thirteen特快发问:长智齿剧疼,怎么处理阿 ╱\ │
╲____╱ lifeendeavor re :用短智齿吃饭吧,cft \_╯/
 ̄
bombard特快发文:清华人脸识别系统通过鉴定 ____
本报讯(记者郭少峰)不必再用钥匙,不必再刷门卡,只要凭借对 ╱ _ ╲
人脸的认证,就可以打开门禁系统通行进门。昨天,清华大学电子 / / ╲ \
系丁晓青教授研制的多模式生物特征身份识别系统通过教育部组织 \ ∨ │ │
专家鉴定,目前这技术已被香港数家公司支持并投入产品开发.... ╲__╱ /
leigh re:指纹识别还只担心被人剁手指头,这下...... ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <下面还有哦> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 36 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││でで││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ε╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ aWayne living版发文 ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ 今天凌晨回14楼西,楼底那个自动售货机... ╲
\ ╲_/ / 我扔了10元进去,按了B5,落下来B2---俩卤蛋,我先 ╱\ │
╲____╱ 怀疑我按错了...然后继续扔俩硬币进去,认真按了B5 \_╯/
落下来还是俩卤蛋,然后觉得今天很倒霉。  ̄
继续扔了俩硬币进去,换了B1,落下来仍然还是俩卤蛋,我ri!
最后又扔了俩硬币进去,换了Cx(忘了),靠!!! ____
还是俩卤蛋,于是无比愤怒的拿了四对卤蛋回宿舍... ╱ _ ╲
Yew大哥re: 说明B2有一堆马甲 / / ╲ \
\ ∨ │ │
某人特快发文问: 请问“东主楼”英文怎么写? ╲__╱ /
neverlive re: frozen pig building ╱
/
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <下面还有哦> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 37 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ __ ___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱ ╲ │ └╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││``││ ┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ˋ╱ │ ││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 匿名天使发文问: 男生怎么叫床? ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ml的时候,mm不想让我闷闷的,想让我说些什么, ╲
\ ╲_/ / 可是我不想说粗话,有什么适合的话呢,类似叫床? ╱\ │
╲____╱ bs热情洋溢的re道: \_╯/
学习以下纤夫,尤其是干重活的时候的号子  ̄
luckydog更加热情似火re:
咱们工人有力量,嘿嘿, ____
有力量; ╱ _ ╲
/ / ╲ \
某笑话讲述一个保守家庭三个女人出嫁后家里通过广告掌握女儿性 \ ∨ │ │
福的事情。其中二女儿寄回"雀巢咖啡"四字,老夫妻找到雀巢广告 ╲__╱ /
大声读出:"欢乐到最後" 老夫妻二人相拥, 喜不自胜。 ╱
SoRock勇于发问re道: 雀巢咖啡不是“滴滴香浓”吗?? /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ <完> │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ 38 \__> ╲ ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
______ ____。___ __ ______ __
└-┐ │ ╱╲╲▏▏└╯││ ┌-┘ 圣诞大餐 笑得自由 原创特刊No.1 ╱_ ╲
_ │ ││'' ╲︳▏┌╮< │ └-┐ ——2005年度Free原创 ╲_> /
│ ̄ / ╲ˇ╱ ▏││││ └-┐ ╱
╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
/ ╱ ̄╲ 谢谢观赏:) ╲________
│ │ ∧ \ ★ ╲
\ ╲_/ / ◢◣ JOKE特刊创刊号 ╱\ │
╲____╱ ◢﹒◣ 编辑:LifeSucks \_╯/
◢. .◣ 审稿:Antonioni BJT kukumalu  ̄
祝大家 ◢. ˙ .◣ litmon LifeSucks melon
圣诞快乐! ◢ ˙˙ ◣ sherry ____
新年嗨啤! ◢.˙ · ˙.◣ (字母序) ╱ _ ╲
考试品暴! ◢ . ▼ .◣ ◥◣◢◤ / / ╲ \
hahah: } ◢ · ◣◢ · ◣ ▕ ║ ╲╱ \ ∨ │ │
◢˙ ˙﹒﹒˙ ˙◣▕═╬══ ▏▏▏ ╲__╱ /
|@ ▕ ║ ▕////▏▏ ╱
▔▔▔ ▔▔▔▔ BM:willow /
/ ̄> ╱ ̄╲ ╱ ̄╲ LifeSucks │ ╱╲
╲ ╱ <__/ END \__> ╲ melon ╲___/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
※ 修改:·LifeSucks 于 Dec 24 18:20:40 修改本文·[FROM: *.*.*.*]
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※ 来源:·水木社区 newsmth.net·[FROM: 211.151.90.*]
Sender: LifeSucks little lazy pig b, message area: FreeArt
Title: [Christmas Gift] JOKE edition 2005 original joke special issue first issue
Sending site: Free Space Sat Dec 24 16:48:03 2005 , within the site
Be safe on Christmas Eve and read the monthly magazine before Christmas
Hahaha : }
Tip: Press "V" on the page to enter the voting interface. Voting will open at 20:00 on Christmas Eve
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
Special issue description
This magazine has compiled the Joke@FreeEE version
Some of the best original jokes from 2005
There are many original works that are very exciting, but
Too long to be included in a special issue,
express regret here
The copyright of this special issue belongs to Free Space Station Joke Edition, and you are welcome to reprint it.
>
Please keep the integrity of the work when reprinting < Start > Please indicate the source author when reprinting
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
εε <2005 Free Original>
Quotations from Quantum Teacher Lu Rong P2
Write about spending a few days at home with my mother: P4
I find that sitting next to a couple while eating is detrimental to others and not beneficial to oneself P10
One of my most embarrassing poems P11
Saw Dustar P12 on the road today
Embarrassing P14
I just handed in two copies of the electromagnetic field homework to the class representative office P16
Wow hahaha P17
The quarrel between two women on the subway yesterday was quite interesting P18
I was taking a shower in North District today and met a bad person P19
Drink milk P20
Re: May I ask all seniors P21
The conversation between Ou and Niu last night P22
>
< 0 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
Freshman English class review class P23
Returned to 14 West P25 this morning
Re: Roots, branches, flowers and leaves, why are there only two of the Six Immortals of Peach Valley?? P26
In the supermarket two days ago P27
Benefit is in the eye of the beholder x P28
Dance experience P29
Got the P30 today
The database teaching assistant is so cute P31
Dormitory buddies make voice calls P32
Memories from Freshman Year: P33
At the bank the day before yesterday.... P34
TSE Lessons P35
Best short re article P36
>
< 1 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
ω
Quotations from Quantum Teacher Lu Rong kukumalu et al.
1 On the day of the by-election, there were relatively few people.
Ask why there are so few people
Sheng replied: I went to the by-election to withdraw from the election.
Teacher: Oh, I pondered for a long time and then I dropped out of this class:
2 Actually, there is another teacher who teaches this course.
You can choose his class
3 This formula is too complicated. I’ll copy it. Don’t remember it.
> <There are more below>
< 2 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
4 One day in class, I encountered the number 3 4
First 4/3 and then 3 divided by 4
5 A few days ago, the previous courseware
Thinking a little, add a comma
6 A formula C j,m Don’t say it while writing C bulabula
7 Under an apple tree there is a sheep and a cow
pause
> <End>
<3>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
' ' <2005 Free Original>
Write about spending a few days at home with my mom: litmon
Mom, what did you do after graduate school?
me, remember this time
Passerby A, what will your girl do next?
Mom, by the way, the army keeps it secret and won’t let me tell you.
me: Mom, your new phone is really ugly.
Mom, I just bought the ugly ones. What if I bought the nice ones and snatched them away?
me Then I can’t buy a good-looking one by myself.
Mom, if you’re not afraid of me snatching it, just buy it <品嚚>
me Let’s compare whose ugliness is better
> <There are more below>
< 4 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
のの <2005 Free Original>
Mom, how do you take pictures with this phone?
me
Mom, I can’t take the picture clearly.
The resolution of me mobile phone display is low. I will upload it to my computer for you to see.
Mom, are you sure you can see the wrinkles? Don’t look at them.
me. Sometimes you think I'm ignoring you, sometimes you think I talk too much.
What on earth do you want me to do?
Mom, I’m menopausal. Of course it’s like this with menopause.
You can't let me go through menopause?
me
> <There are more below>
<5>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
Mom, don’t teach me such complicated things. Your mom, I know how to play cards online.
Mom, don’t teach me such complicated things. Your mom, I know how to listen to songs.
Mom, don't teach me such complicated things. I just know how to read jokes.
Mom, nannan, how can I chat?
me Mom, they all call you eldest sister.
Mom, I’m proud. Of course, I’m now recognized as the eldest sister in my workplace.
me Ouch, don’t you look old when you call me that?
Mom, don’t you understand? Every time someone calls me eldest sister, they ask me
Hey, how old are you? Why do I think you are younger than ***?
> <There are more below>
<6>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
Mom nannan, I can play computer
me Mom, you have been playing mahjong all day
Mom, but I won’t fight now
me because it’s twelve o’clock in the morning, dear mom
You should sleep, your skin will be better
Mom, I’m menopausal. I can’t sleep at night during menopause.
me go to sleep
Mom, when you go to bed, I'll get up secretly and play.
me Mom, you need to take care of yourself like this
Mom, I don’t. I look younger than people of the same age, haha.
> <There are more below>
<7>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
Mom, nannan, do you think I look good in this skirt?
me, the years are long
%#&^#^&#^%&
me Mom, you can’t catch up with me in a skirt di
Passerby A, oh, this is your daughter. You are so old. I think you are quite young.
Mom, without thinking, the one in the front room means my dad’s ex-wife’s daughter.
me
Passerby A, no wonder, they don’t look alike.
Mom, someone praised me again today for saying that my daughter is getting more and more handsome as she grows older.
me so-so
Mom, the longer she grows, the more she looks like me
> <There are more below>
<8>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
﹫
Mom, why is my daughter so beautiful?
me well trained and genetically beautiful
Mom, if my daughter is so handsome, she needs to find a husband who is rich and capable.
The little boy has to be very energetic.
me Do you think my dad is Hu Jintao?
Mom, it doesn’t matter if it’s not Hu Jintao but his in-laws.
Two things my mother often says
I'm menopausal, so don't make me angry.
Our chromosomes all look better than others
> <End>
<9>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
﹥﹤ <2005 Free Original>
I found that sitting next to a couple while eating is a detrimental thing to others and not beneficial to oneself.
ninikin
Taoli, buy a fried egg for lunch
I saw a couple who were about to finish their meal and were in love.
So I put the eggs on the table to occupy a seat and turned around to buy a Coke.
After buying a Coke, I went back to my seat and found out
The couple was continuing to kiss each other lovingly.
Feed each other my fried eggs!
> <End>
< 10 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
丷 < 2005 Free original >
ヘ
One of my most embarrassing poems shenhuanyan
In the second grade of junior high school
There is an intern Chinese teacher who will take over our Chinese class
She's very, very fat, so fat that I can't even understand her.
And he is very fierce and specializes in scolding people.
Everyone is unhappy
So I wrote the most embarrassing poem in my weekly diary
Trainee teachers set the threshold
It's like closing the door
It is really
Width
> <End>
< 11 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
﹡﹡ <2005 Free Original>
I met Dustar lifeendeavor on the road today
He looks a little thinner, but still so hale and hearty.
Confident, with a desire for life in his eyes
We talked a lot along the way. He talked about his difficult life during this period.
I was forced to suffer all night, but there was no trace of decadence in my words.
Our life will get better. Dustar said, please tell all the people in the department for me.
> <There are more below>
< 12 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
﹖ ﹖ <2005 Free Original>
Tribulation and pain cannot defeat us cyborgs.
Tomorrow will definitely be better
Dustar patted my shoulder solemnly and looked behind my head.
Following his gaze, in the dust, I saw a rising star in the distance.
We all need to take care. Dustar gestured with his hands and gave me a small orange lantern.
Then we parted. I watched his back gradually disappear into the eyes of the Three Religions in the distance.
I got wet while riding the bike. I had a dream. I dreamed that I turned into a little bee.
>
< 13 > <End>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
﹦﹦ <2005 Free Original>
Embarrassing Dustar
If your eyes are not good, you are prone to embarrassment...
My eyes are over 300 degrees and have astigmatism. I don’t like to wear glasses when I go traveling.
I even stopped wearing it when I was swimming. As a result, yesterday...
I saw a child in the locker room and thought it was so cute. I couldn’t help but take a second look.
At this time, I felt a chill behind me. When I turned around, I found a burly man staring at me fiercely.
I also felt something was wrong, but I didn’t know what the problem was, and I didn’t take it seriously after that.
Get dressed and go take a shower to get ready for swimming
When I was taking a shower, I saw several other little boys who had returned from swimming and were also taking a shower.
> <There are more below>
< 14 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
θ
At this time, I suddenly realized
That one I saw just now was a little girl!@#!%!@^
Because I didn’t wear glasses and had no reference, I didn’t react at all at the time.
No wonder that big man, probably a parent, was staring at me.
Embarrassed, embarrassed...
> <End>
< 15 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
I just handed in two copies of the electromagnetic field homework to the class representative office.
xfavorx
The class representative said calmly while putting away his homework.
Okay, I have two seeds.
> <End>
< 16 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
Wow hahaha Hakkk
One day I saw on the news that a female smoker and drug addict was caught in the police station
The police saw a tattoo on her hand
I asked her in front of reporters
"Why did you tattoo your boyfriend's name on your hand?"
"Is his name Xiaoliang...ah..."
"Is it... tell me quickly!!..."
"Tell me!!!...Has he taken drugs?...Say it quickly!!!"
I saw the female smoker and drug addict,
Raising his head with angry eyes
Talk to the police...
This is hate!!!!!!Hate!!!!!!...!!
So...it's best not to gain weight after getting the tattoo...
> <End>
< 17 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
оо <2005 Free Original>
The quarrel between two women on the subway yesterday was quite interesting girlwing
The subway was very crowded yesterday. I was squeezed into the crowd and couldn't breathe.
I heard two women quarreling above my head.
A Why are you squeezing me?
B I didn’t squeeze you. You can move around by yourself.
A What? I want to change to the door. You poke it yourself. In Shanghainese dialect, it means to stand still.
There, I had to go around you
B I clearly asked you to squeeze in very hard.
A You didn’t let you didn’t let you didn’t let you just didn’t let you squeeze me right there!!!
Everyone is speechless
Sudden
A Don’t think you have a big butt!
> <End>
< 18 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
ㄨ
I was taking a shower in the North District today and met a bad person.
Alger&laosen
laosen express tears:
I was taking a shower and I found that guy peeing in the bathhouse with those words in his mouth.
It even splashed on me a little
Alger re said:
I've seen this
I've seen people singing. Is this normal?
Lying on the ground and having someone rub your back
meditating on the ground
Bring a basin to wash clothes
There is also a guy who does military boxing
> <End>
< 19 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
^﹫^ <2005 Free original >
drink milk vici
Husband said drink the milk
I say say dear
My husband said, drink my dear milk
> <End>
<20>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
゜゜ <2005 Free Original>
σ
Re: Hello, seniors, Hakkkmm
max said in the advedu version: "$*&%^ *
In addition, everyone has their own shining points. No one said that only good grades are required.
Only when you go abroad can you consider many aspects."
Hakkkmm re said:
Yeah, like finding a good wife
There was a girl in our school last year
Yale and Harvard compete for
Yelu clearly told her that as long as she came over, she would give her a two-cent offer.
Let her come out with gg too
That year, she was well deserved to be hailed as an outstanding woman who saved men ten years of hard work.
> <End>
<21>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
﹦﹦ <2005 Free Original>
The conversation between Ou and Niu last night sideback
After coming out of the hotel, the cow was sitting on the roadside, drunk.
Ziying asked us to help him get the cow back
We want to help him across the street and take a taxi
Niu, no, I can’t go back to school on the other side.
I'm right. We're not going back to school. We're going back to Bauhinia Apartment.
Finally turned across the road
> <End>
<22>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
Furongee in freshman English class review class
Well, if the teacher hadn't threatened me at that time,
If you don’t come to the exam, yeung will fail
I won’t even go back to take the exam.
Because that class is really useless.
I can still get a certificate in the English language tutoring class.
Blueink forum re-asked: How did the teacher make you two slimmer?
> <There are more below>
<23>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
⌒
furongee answered:
The teacher asked this classmate, referring to the furongee who didn’t go, bm note
Does anyone know him?
Everyone looked at each other and Yeung reluctantly stood up.
The teacher told him
You tell him that if he doesn't come to the exam, you won't pass.
yeung said to me with an innocent face
The teacher said, yes, it’s you
The above content is from yeung’s dictation
Um
> <End>
<24>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
ε
Returned to 14 West EdogawaConan this morning
I saw it written clearly on the small blackboard
No drunkenness in the toilet
> <End>
<25>
﹨ Christmas Dinner Smile Freely Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
Re: Roots, branches, flowers and leaves, why are there only two of the Six Immortals of Peach Valley left??
sonic
Originally, the netizen taoganxian was quite active.
Later, two IDs, tao and xian, jointly complained.
Say too much x
> <End>
<26>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
乊乊 < 2005 Free original >
LifeSucks in the supermarket two days ago
While waiting in line, I saw a cup on the shelf next to someone.
The cups in the series are very fun, with letters and little figures on them.
I saw one cup with SP on it and another cup with RT on it...
*&^*^%#
I thought, hey, is there any manufacturer that is so cool as to make a BBS cup that caters to Tsinghua University students?
Bauhinia supermarket sales
Looking again, I saw OR on a cup, and I thought that OR could be considered a BBS term...
So I picked up a cup and prepared to study it carefully. I turned it around in my hand and discovered that
It turns out that SPORTS wrote about it
> <End>
<27>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
x e <2005 Free Original>
o
Benefit is in the eye of the beholder x OFDM
I was reading Functional last night and came across the word injection.
Can't remember what it means
I asked my roommate A and he replied that he was too busy right now and hadn’t read functionals in a long time.
I had no choice but to send a text message to ask the math expert B. I received a reply after a while.
Are you watching porn movies? Ask C. C is a great MP.
> <End>
<28>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
Ο
Dance experience century
There is no junior prom. A buddy meets a girl who looks good.
So I took the initiative to chat for a long time. The more we talked, the more I felt something was wrong.
Just asking, are you from Tsinghua University? How do you know Tsinghua University so well?
Just listen to the girl say in a leisurely manner Oh, don’t you know me?
I am your counselor
sweat
> <End>
<29>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
' <2005 Free Original>
ひ
Get on the plane today freax
A girl chatted with the boy next to me and said
"Oh, why are your pictures so neat? My lines all look like spider webs."
The man next to me immediately said, "God is fair."
Just when we were all confused, he continued:
Since I gave you such beauty
Everyone was so moved that they vomited
> <End>
<30>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
The database teaching assistant is so cute puzzlemaster
The teaching assistant on someone’s homework said:
It may cause you to refer to others, or it may cause others to refer to yours.
It may also be completed independently, but when the correlation coefficient p>0.8 or above
The teaching assistant can remind you to pay attention to your independence in completing homework
Comrade, it doesn't matter this time. Just be careful next time.
> <End>
<31>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
'' <2005 Free Original>
ひ
Dormitory buddies make voice calls alal
Recognize 10 numbers
Says:0
Showing 6
Then he said cao, this can all be wrong
Showing 8
Re: Dormitory buddies make voice calls bangbangbear
It's nothing, right?
I want to test the voice dialing function of Siemens mobile phone
Our classmates recorded a bear as the accent for dialing my number
I called for a long time but no call came.
Later, I got angry and called someone, but the call actually came...
> <End>
<32>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
Freshman year memories: easeplain
About zhubo
Building 15# was still using the 201 phone number at that time.
Once a girl called, zhubo picked up the phone
To speak Mandarin please press 1 speak English press 2
There was a beep from over there
zhubo What did you press?
1
We burst into laughter
> <End>
<33>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
ひ
At the bank the day before yesterday.... Dior
I was checking in at the counter, and a young man hurriedly walked to the counter next to me.
He said to the clerk, "Can you please tell me whether this 100 yuan is real or fake?"
The bank clerk said if it is fake, we will confiscate it.
The man said, well... let me put it on the glass for you to watch.
Everyone falls.
> <End>
< 34 >
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
ー
TSE lessons rhythmp
Many people have told me before
During the TSE exam, don’t speak until you beep.
I still fell into this today.
When I warm up, I feel that the rhythm is quite awkward.
Let’s start the formal thing. After finishing the question, he said after a while
"please begin your response now"
I started talking
After 5 seconds, there was a sudden beep.
I was very angry and subconsciously said "fuck"...
> <End>
<35>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
でで <2005 Free Original>
The best short re article spoof waterwheel s
Thirteen express question: How to deal with severe pain caused by wisdom teeth?
lifeendeavor re: Eat with short wisdom teeth cft
Bombard express: Tsinghua’s face recognition system passed the appraisal
According to our reporter, Guo Shaofeng, there is no need to use keys or swipe door cards, as long as you have the right
Face authentication can open the access control system and pass through the door. Yesterday Tsinghua University Electronics
The multi-modal biometric identification system developed by Professor Ding Xiaoqing was organized by the Ministry of Education
Expert appraisal: At present, this technology has been supported by several companies in Hong Kong and put into product development....
leigh re: With fingerprint recognition, I only worry about having my fingers chopped off. Now...
> <There are more below>
<36>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
でで <2005 Free Original>
ε
Posted by aWayne living version
I went back to the 14th floor west this morning and saw the vending machine at the bottom of the building...
I threw 10 yuan in, pressed B5, and dropped B2. Two braised eggs, I’ll go first.
I suspected that I pressed the wrong button... Then I continued to throw two coins in and pressed B5 carefully.
I ended up with two braised eggs, and then I felt like I was very unlucky today.
I continued to throw two coins in and changed to B1. When it fell down, it was still two braised eggs. I ri.
Finally, I threw two more coins in and changed it to Cx. I forgot about it. Damn it.
There were still two braised eggs, so I was extremely angry and took four pairs of braised eggs back to the dormitory...
Brother Yew re: Explain that B2 has a bunch of vests
Someone sent a quick message asking: How do you write Dongzhulou in English?
neverlive re: frozen pig building
> <There are more below>
<37>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
<2005 Free Original>
Anonymous Angel posted a question: How do boys call bed?
When ml, mm didn’t want me to feel depressed and wanted me to say something.
But I don't want to say bad words. What are some suitable words? It's like calling for bed.
bs replied enthusiastically:
Learn the following chants of trackers, especially when doing heavy work
luckydog is even more passionate re:
We workers have power, hehe
Have power
A joke tells the story of a conservative family where three women get married and use advertisements to control their daughters’ sexuality.
Fu's story: The second daughter sent back the words "Nescafe Coffee" and the old couple found the Nestlé advertisement.
Read aloud: "Happy till the end" The old couple hugged each other and were overjoyed.
SoRock has the courage to ask: Isn’t Nescafe Didi Fragrant?
> <End>
<38>
Christmas Dinner, Smile Freely, Original Special Issue No.1
'' <2005 Free Original>
thanks for watching:
JOKE special issue first issue
﹒ Editor:LifeSucks
. . Reviewer:Antonioni BJT kukumalu
Wish you all . . litmon LifeSucks melon
Merry Christmas! sherry
Happy New Year! . . Alphabetical order
Bad exam!
hahah: }
﹒ ﹒
BM:willow
> LifeSucks
< END > melon
Modification: LifeSucks modified this article on Dec 24 18:20:40 [FROM: *.*.*.*]
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