发信人: ygs (桔子阿桂), 信区: Joke
标 题: [年刊]姗姗来迟的2008年年刊
发信站: 水木社区 (Thu Feb 12 11:15:16 2009), 站内
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, Part Ⅰ- MMJoke
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米虫二年级涂鸦系列 by crowyue
●南瓜: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=46308
●空调: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=46309
●你好: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=46402
●眼神: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=46590
●视角: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=46629
●迟到: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=46667
●食记: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=46938
●午睡: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=47047
●登山: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=47155
●相亲: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=47289
●麦霸: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=47733
●远足: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=48288
●歌手: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=48593
●预购: http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=49158 .002.
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● [WMV]LOVE-2008(zz) BlazingGin
http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=30200
● [GAME]继续贴字符flash游戏哈哈 NotBusy
http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=32240
● [PIC]猫咪洗澡后的样子(zz) casssie
http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=38954
● [GIF]odom这个传球引爆全场啊 yellowdream
http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=46035
● [PIC]原创,圣诞要饭喵 lighost
http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=48239
● [PIC]一种猫头鹰的搞笑表情 hcxzc
http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=40548
● [PIC]老公不在家,我打开了黄SE网站 hacici
http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=48722
.003.
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● [PIC]原创:玉兔 auwoo
http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=47935
● [PIC]Re: 原创:玉兔 qw63
http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=47937
● [PIC]发几张可爱的 thick
http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=49019
http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=49020
.004.
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▌半梦半醒之间……
coolgrass
昨晚做梦梦到了一同事mm,和我关系挺好,我老婆原来在她那里住过。
我梦到她被她老公打,伤痕累累,哭着跑我家去。。。说是借宿几天
我在那里给她上药,看着那么好的皮肤,被打得伤痕累累,淤青一片,觉得特心疼,心
里就骂,妈的什么男人啊,这下手也忒黑了。。。
我说让她跟我老婆睡,我跟我妈睡
……
结果半夜起来,发现我旁边是我老婆。。。我就问她:xx呢??
大半夜的,她差点抽我。。。我梦里和现实没分清楚当时 .006.
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▌刚发生的温馨笑话
touchmyself
在西联办公楼里给女友电话问明天的行程
说她明天不能出来 因为有家教
之前从来不知道她有带家教,但是我鼓励做一个经济独立的女生 所以问
什么时间有的???
说上星期
恩 那是好事情啊。不过应该早些告诉我。:)
开心的碎碎念了一会儿 挂电话 离开走廊的时候 看到客服妹妹看我的目光带着暖暖的
爱意, 不过没在意
在回家的路上接到西联朋友的电话 说他们的客服妹妹在大厅里称赞我 说我是
知道自己女朋友有了以后依然能够谈笑自若的负责任的男人
从此称呼女友 家教他娘 .007.
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▌生物实验室的兔子
maomiao
下午,是动物实验的演示。医学院的学生们很严肃的穿着整齐的白大褂、戴口罩和帽子
以及橡胶手套。经过小鼠、大鼠、仓鼠、豚鼠以后,终于迎来了令大家激动人心的兔
子。
2位很年长的师兄小心翼翼的抱来2只兔子,它们都被很完美的包裹着下身,这是为了防
止它们到处蹦跳。兔兔太可爱,太乖了,我们都忍不住上去摸。我忍不住想起“雄兔脚
扑朔,雌兔眼迷离”这句古文。
在给兔子抽血前,师兄照样要教我们辨认公母,这就不得不打开兔子身上的包裹,先打
开一只,抓着给我们看它的生殖器官,然后再另一只,还把两只放在一起进行对比。我
们都点头称是,还暗暗奇怪这么小的东西能用么。
[转下页] .008.
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演示完公母,兔子又被重新放在桌子上,打算包起来进行下一步的抽血。就在放下的瞬
间,就在众目睽睽之下,其中的一只冷不丁的,以迅雷不及掩耳盗铃之势,蹿到了另一
只兔子身上。。。
我想,其实这样分公母不是更方便么。。。
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▌偶家可怜的狗狗
FMCC
这两天家里的狗狗不知道吃了什么,成天放屁
尤其它喜欢躺在我床边睡觉,一个响屁整个屋子都臭-_-b
所以每次狗狗放臭屁都会被我大骂"臭狗",然后灰溜溜跑出房间
今天下午狗狗照例睡在我床边。我在它旁边玩电脑时突然放了个响屁
狗狗听到马上跳起来紧张兮兮地闻了闻自己屁股
然后一脸无辜得看着我
看见我严肃的目光,狗狗低着头很自觉地走出房间了……
.010.
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▌可怜的拉布拉多警犬
SuLiang
在一个奥运城市出差,住在一个奥运媒体住的酒店
进去要做很严格的安检,让人烦不胜烦
昨天晚上等待安检的时候看到一辆运泔水的拖拉机车进来
一开始奥运保安不让进,开拖拉机的哥们儿给他看了经过认证的门牌才让进
一开始一个保安上拖拉机检查,过了一会儿下来说:tmd,太味儿了受不了,你来
第二个保安上去检查,过了一会儿下来说:tmd,太味儿了受不了,警犬来
一条拉布拉多警犬上去了,过了会儿下来说:汪汪汪
然后就跑到远处趴下了......
.011.
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▌老爸的笑话
ppanda
老爸电话响了,他正忙着,让我接,我一看,来电显示的:五岳之首,我说这谁啊!
我爸说:你姥爷!
.012.
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▌此为《80后通史》原本!
SHENOK
初从文,廿六乃成,负债十万。觅生计,十年无休,披星戴月秉烛达旦,蓄十万。不
足购房,遂投股市,翌年缩至万余,抑郁成疾。医保曰,不符大病之条例,拒赔。乃
倾其所有入院一周,无药自愈。友怜之,赊三鹿一包,冲而饮,卒。
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╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
▌国庆节和老婆逛卧佛寺
jojia
国庆期间和老婆一块儿去卧佛寺
老婆走累了,耍赖,非让我背她.
拗不过她,只好背着她走.
还好老婆不是很胖,赫赫
没走出多远,迎面过来一老太:
"小伙子,看你也是念过书的,有病还是要去医院,拜佛没用啊!"
.014.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
▌公司来了5个新人。
hunter771
领导以前是干军工的,总拿带兵的气势说话。
让这5个人站一排,当着大家面,然后问:“说说你们都姓啥 ?”
然后5个人顺次说了姓:
第一个说:田
第二个说:马
第三个说:刘
第四个说:邢
第五个说我姓:王 [转下页] .015.
═╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔═
╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗
╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
下面一堆人集体喊叫:你应该姓权!!!!
你应该姓权!!!!
你应该姓权!!!!
40岁以上的人莫名其妙。小mm在下面嘀咕:第5个人太破坏完美了。。
大家都对姓王的人很鄙视。。。。
.016.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
▌说说我一件很囧的事
hyposulphite [zz: yellowdream]
在美国逛mall的时候碰到一个卖衣服的人,一问是巴西来的,当时很高兴,说你
踢球吗。于是他解开外衣,露出里面的巴西国家队队服和上面的巴西足协会标。
我正欲离开,他突然问我是哪国家的,我顿时大囧……
生平第一次以一个中国人为耻,然后支吾了半分钟,说我是中国的。于是该巴西
人大囧……
估计也是第一次觉得不知道该怎么回答好,支吾了半分钟,说:
Your women play quite well...
md,下次碰到外国人绝不问他足球的事情。 .017.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
▌今天早上糗大了
bar1ey
我们老板海归,说话有点夹带E文
上周开会,说这周一八点半准时到,穿dirty的
我以为又要搬东西,特意穿了5年没洗的工装外套,nnd,来的时候挤公车被
旁边的mm那叫一个嫌弃
到了办公室,看大家咋都西装格里的
还取笑人家,糟践衣服不是这么个烧法
靠,一会来了一帮老头子指指点点,我们老板跟后头点头哈腰,顺便以眼神
把我杀死了一百遍啊一百遍
囧....原来是穿得体的
我等着下午走路吧...
.018.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
▌adidas的另一面~
pangshuaige
记得以前有个同学,买了件阿迪的训练背心
橙红色,正面是adidas字样的那种
他总觉得这衣服反着穿很酷
所以
每天我们都看着他胸前带着sabiba的字样快乐的跑来跑去~~
.019.
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═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
▌打那个法师!!
ygs
在一次5V5 的时候,有一特强大的团体.当时他们是个战萨法牧骑的标准2345配置.
他们的战士名叫"那个骑士",骑士名叫"那个萨满",萨满名叫"那个法师",法师名
叫"那个牧师",牧师名叫"那个战士".
于是麻烦就来了,当时UT是这样的:
队长:打那个法师!
一群人有的打法师有的打萨满,乱七八糟.
队长<吼>:我靠,打那个法师啊!!!
打萨满的换成了打法师的了,但打法师的换成了打萨满的了.
队长<大怒,怒吼>:我靠!打那个职业是法师的,而不是名叫那个法师的!懂了没有??
众人:队长,我们已经死光了,你自己看着打吧~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.020.
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╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
▌现在的服务员也挺逗的
southsmall
前几天单位吃饭,一小年轻同事要了一瓶大雪碧,给大家倒了一圈,轮到
自己的时候瓶子空了。
于是该同事晃着雪碧瓶对服务员说:“这个还有吗?”
服务员屁颠屁颠地跑过来,接过瓶子仔仔细细地检查了一遍,一脸诚恳地
说:“没有了。”
.021.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
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═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
▌囧死了.....表白了!!!全过程!!!!!!
匿名发表于北大未名 [zz: Aimar]
喜欢了两个学期的师兄
我硕,他博
之前他一直有gf,偶是有良好道德情操滴四有新人 所以坚决不撬人墙角
这学期他和gf分手了
偶纠结好久 要不要去表白
555
纠结 纠结 纠结了一个学期
昨天跟闺蜜两个人在咖啡店喝咖啡
偶就纠结地说这个
闺蜜鼓励我去表白 说你不表白呢他就不是你的 你表白了他没准会是你的
大不了他拒呗 有什么损失的
总比你一个人在这里碎碎念好! [转下页] .022.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
我就
头脑发热
冲动
鼓起勇气
出门前还买了瓶啤酒
晚上一个人在宿舍 喝
喝完了
跑下楼去 决定给他打电话
又纠结
于是又跑到小卖部买了瓶啤酒 又喝了
有点晕
找了个没人的树下
就拿手机拨通了师兄的电话
师兄接电话说:“喂”
[转下页] .023.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
我 。。。。。
叉着腰 对电话大声说
“师兄!我是***!!!”
师兄说:“哦?师妹啊,什么事?”
我。。。。。。
我说:
“师兄!!!——****课的中期论文什么时候交....”
师兄说:“bla bla bla(日期)”
我说:
“师兄!!!——我还没写.....”
师兄大概不明白为什么我没写要跟他说,因为他又不是助教,他也只是选课的
不过还是安慰了我一下,指点了一下可以去哪里找材料
我就挂了电话。
[转下页] .024.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
然后我站在树下发了半天呆
又走到小卖部买了个糖葫芦吃了。。。然后给闺蜜打电话
闺蜜听说我还没表白,就劈头盖脸骂了我一顿
我被骂得热血沸腾 怒了 发誓 说 砍头不过头点地!!
SHIT!妈的 我连北大都能上
几十万人我都击败了
WHO 怕 WHO
我就
又买了罐啤酒 揣在兜里
跑到师兄楼下
然后又给师兄打电话
要他下来
师兄光着脚 穿着拖鞋 里面就穿个T 外面套个衬衫 就下来了
看样子刚洗完澡 [转下页] .025.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
师兄:“?”很惊讶地问我有啥事咧
我左右看看
又找了个树
跟师兄说:“我们到那里说话啦”
师兄就跟我走到树下了
然后 我很紧张
紧张地 抖抖抖
就跟中学时候做演讲比赛那次
妈的 心里骂了自己无数遍 有点后悔了
呜呜 要是 被拒了
下周怎么上课啊
呜呜 哪个讨论课统共就五个人
呜呜 都不敢翘课的 [转下页] .026.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
师兄就又问:“什么事情啊?”
我:“。。。。你很忙么?有事情赶着做么?”
师兄:“。。。。事倒是没有。不过我很冷哎。。。。”
我低头看看他的光脚,就当没看见。。。。。。。。
我摸了摸兜里的啤酒
掏出来说
“。。。。师兄!喝不喝酒!”
师兄无语:“。。。。。。”
然后微笑说:“呃。。。。不太想喝。。。”
我:“。。。。。”
[转下页] .027.
═╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔═
╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗
╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
师兄大概觉得不忍心吧,我大老远带罐两块八毛钱的啤酒来
就说:“。。。要不我带回去喝八。。。”
我很高兴地把啤酒给他
给完后
555 纠结
是不是该走了
还是表白呢
555 寒风一阵阵地吹~~~~~~~~
师兄站在树下开始哆嗦了 ~~~~~~~
我的心中热血澎湃
有一种要慷慨就义的感觉~~~~~~~~~~~ [转下页] .028.
═╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔═
╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗
╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
寒风~~~~寒风~~~~~~~
师兄看起来想要走了
我
决定再也不能拖了
妈的
死就死了!!
我就大声说:
“师兄!”
师兄吓了一跳。。。。。说:“啥?”
我放低声音说
[转下页] .029.
═╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔═
╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗
╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
“。。。。呃 我是来表白的。。。。”
(哎 还是不好意思说我喜欢你四个字。。)
师兄很镇定地:“。。。。你是不是跟同学打牌输了啊?”
我:“。。。。我从来不打牌”
师兄:“。。。。”
我:“我是认真的。。。”
师兄:“。。。。”
我:“你说句话啊!”
= =为什么感觉我在逼良家妇女卖春啊。。。。
师兄:“。。。。”
我:“你嫌我不好看?”
师兄:“。。。。没有,你挺好看的”
[转下页] .030.
═╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔═
╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗
╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
我:“你嫌我太高?”
(俺170cm,师兄171cm,俺穿高跟鞋了....师兄穿拖鞋....)
师兄:“。。。。没有。。。。。。”
我:“你嫌我学历低?”(囧RZ我自己.....纯粹没话说了...)
师兄:“囧。。。怎么会。。。”
我:“你怕我会读博?”(再囧我自己.....我听说一般男生都不喜欢博士MM)
师兄:“囧。。。。”(大概再问这是啥问题。。。)
我:“ 呜呜,你说句话啊”
师兄:“。。。。。有点太突然了,我考虑考虑好么”
我:“。。。好吧”
我看看他的脚,估计已经冻成胡萝卜了:“那我走了噢”
师兄:“。。。。好,路上小心”(从ccxy回来要过马路)
我就跑了
[转下页] .031.
═╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔═
╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗
╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
一路走,走过一个小卖部,心里突然好害怕哎!
看见卖糖葫芦的 就又买了一个吃 站在小卖部门口
突然觉得好孤单 就在这里看看卖东西和买东西的人
正在吃的时候
手机就响了
师兄的短信说:“到宿舍了?”
我:“没”
师兄:“你在哪”
我:“****旁边哪个小卖部”
师兄:“那我过来”
我就赶快把糖葫芦吃完了
傻呵呵地 .......
囧 [转下页] .032.
═╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔═
╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗
╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
然后师兄就过来了
然后捏
嘿嘿
我俩就在小卖部门口傻笑了半天
囧
师兄接受了
不用过光光节了 囧 = =
怪不好意思滴说!
*^____^*
.033.
═╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔═
╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗
╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
▌比较怀疑水木挂站是非技术原因
Linxs
事实是这样的
一天上帝在机房吃煎饼油条,结果滴了油在机箱边缘上
本来油是不导电的,应该没事,所以上帝没当回事
那滴油沿着机箱边缘渗到里头,
进入电源盒子,滴在了风扇的轴的端处
本来油滴在轴承上,是件好事情,
但是,上帝滴的那滴是带有食品颗粒的食用油
过了短时间,渐渐发霉,变酸,变粘
唐山的机房通风很好,沙尘也经常进来,慢慢的黏在了轴承上
再有就是静电产生的一些絮状物,也黏在了轴承上
这个现象在我们普通的机箱也是经常见到的
[转下页] .034.
═╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔═
╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗
╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
其实,机箱里脏兮兮的,灰尘和赃物也没什么的
但是,偏偏那天上帝吃的太油,滴的不是一滴,而是两滴油在机箱上!
第一滴油进入了电源盒子里,那第二滴油呢?
第二滴沿着近似路线也渗到了机箱里,但是没有落在电影盒子里的风扇轴承上,
是被风扇吹着斜落在到了主板接硬盘上的某个线上,
渐渐的发霉,发酸。。。。
如果上帝只是在机房里吃一次煎饼油条,那么事情也许就不会落到今天的地步。
但是,互联网的墨菲定律,最担心的事情一定会发生。
我们最担心上帝在机房吃煎饼油条,那么上帝一定会在机房吃肩膀油条。
在后来的2次进入机房的机会,上帝又在机房吃煎饼油条,一共3次,
总共落下了大小5片煎饼油条的碎屑。
机房是不养宠物的。
有了上帝留下的这些零食,蚂蚁不知道从哪里钻出来了。
很快蚂蚁就搬光了地上的碎屑,走了。
[转下页] .035.
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╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗
╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
看起来事情也许到此为止了,但是真正的故事才刚刚开始。。。
落在队伍最后面的那只蚂蚁,因为体弱跟不上大部队,在后面慢慢吞吞的走啊。
造化赋予人一个短处,必然同时赋予人一个长处。对于蚂蚁也是一样的。
这只落在队伍最后面的小蚂蚁,虽然体弱,但是嗅觉灵敏。
它闻到了来自机箱上方的发酸的油滴气味,便转上沿着机箱缝隙爬了进去
离它最近的是那滴掉在硬盘线上的油滴, 小蚂蚁奋勇地向这滴上帝之油爬去
历经千辛,走迷宫似的绕过主板上的电路,来到了硬盘线上的酸油面前。
不幸的事情发生了。。。。
这天是2008年1月29日,也就是上证A股指数大跌8%的1月28日的第二天早上9点整
很多受伤的人都在这个时间段打开电脑/电视,准备开始炒股。
民用电量的短时间上升,导致了部分地区电力线的电压的快速下降,
来自水木上某个网友在职公司开发的某个供电系统的自动控制系统开始动作,
往包括唐山机房所在的地区的电网新增加一个供电电源
如果这个自动控制系统做的很精细,新增电源的的瞬间电压骤变控制的好,
灾难就不会发生。 [转下页] .036.
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╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗
╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
但是,项目管理里有个定律,眼睛看不到的细节最容易出问题。
理所当然的,瞬间电压的骤变发生了。
机房里,运载着水木社区的电源风扇受这个电压骤变影响,微微的抖了一下。
轴承的瞬间加速度的变化,导致了那团围绕在上帝之油上的灰尘与絮状物的结合体
受了震动,本来摇摇欲坠的它,落了下去,掉在电源盒子的底部,
很快被风扇的风吹到一个螺丝孔边,落了下去,进入了机箱的内部空间。
砸到了那只正在用触角品尝硬盘线上的第二滴上帝之酸油的蚂蚁身上,
一下子把蚂蚁砸昏了,蚂蚁和灰尘絮状物结合体接着往下掉,
在经过CPU风扇前,被向内吹的CPU风扇吸引,斜着往主板下下方飞去
最终蚂蚁靠着触角上黏黏的发酸食用油,
黏在了CPU下方北桥芯片上的名为GPIO16的管脚上,
而后脚悬空靠近主板上的一根地线,摇摇晃晃。
这根名为GPIO16的管脚被主板BIOS重定义为低电平RESET 北桥芯片!
最后,机箱里的紊流开始发挥作用!
[转下页] .037.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
每隔一段时间,蚂蚁的后脚被微微的紊流一吹便碰到那根地线,直接RESET系统!
如果水木不是用reiserFS,或许就不会有这么严重的问题。
如果reiser的老婆不出轨,reiser就不会杀妻,就不会受控,reiserFS就会更稳定。
如果reiserFS更稳定,就不会那么容易崩溃导致水木死掉。
但是,这个世界上没有那么多如果。
事实就是reiser的老婆出轨,reiser杀妻,reiserFS有bug。
在多次无规则随机的重启之后,水木的FS系统终于崩溃了!
这就是水木社区硬盘崩溃的非技术原因!
但是,从中,我们更多的看到,是人,某些人造成了这次灾难!
他们,包括
- 违反规定在机房吃煎饼油条的KCN,
- 大量滥用地沟油的煎饼油条老板,
- 那只贪吃的蚂蚁,
- 造成2008年1月28日上证指数大跌的主力资金操盘手
[转下页] .038.
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╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
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- 不够严谨没有控制电压骤变的设计电力自动控制系统的某水木网友,
- 把GPIO16重定义为RESET的水木服务器的系统BIOS设计人员,
- 勾引reiser老婆的第三者
- 不贞洁的reiser老婆
- 因冲动杀人的reiser同学
- 制造紊流的西方上帝
是他们,有意无意的共同参与了2008年4月1日水木社区崩溃灾难的这场阴谋。
.039.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
▌现在的缩略语害死我啦
GGxMM
下午,快要结婚的大学同学发短信过来说:
XXX,周末有空吗?
真诚邀请你来我新窝看看,正好也见见我媳妇
我正忙着去上课,飞快的回了条短信
本来想写成这样的:
OK,我在上课。她回来了?太好了,正想找你们玩,3Q
然后飞快的确认发送
[转下页] .040.
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═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
可我。。。
不但标点都没打上
一着急,还把Q打成P,3Q成了3P!!!!
汗。。。
我的淑女形象毁于一旦
鉴于后续情节更糗,今天就不说了,睡觉,晚安~~~
.041.
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▌续集Re: 现在的缩略语害死我啦
GGxMM
继续说3P的事。。。小女再换一个讲的风格。。。。
1P
老实说
虽然上JOKE这么久 2P
但在昨天之前 话说当时发完短信
我还真不懂3P是什么意思哦 我还不知道自己打错了字
我,太无知了,让你们失望了。。。。 上课时,手机动啊动
我要继续努力,向你们看齐~~ 心想是同学又客套的回复过来了
忍。。。。。
憋住。。。。。。。
3P 坚持做一个有定力的好老师。。。
有两个未接电话 一直坚持到下课
[转下页] .042.
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╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
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一个未读短信 我才看手机
都是同学的
短信问3P是不是我新换的签名
我以为同学看错了或打错了 4P
就回短信嘲笑他: 回到办公室发呆
什么眼神哪明明是谢谢你的3Q 同学打电话过来
回完后隐隐觉得 先抑扬顿挫的笑了一通
可能还是我自己先打错了 再将短信抑扬顿挫的念了一遍
翻出已发记录,果然。。。 最后抑扬顿挫的说:
心虚。。。 你发过来的就是3P啊
晕死汗死。。。 我羞愧的承认是自己打错了
接着说不就把P打成Q了吗
至于笑得这么开心吗
5P 同学又笑,抑扬顿挫的说:
[转下页] .043.
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听他抑扬顿挫的问得那么不屑 傻大姐,你错得忒离谱啦
我没有无言以对,也没有理屈词穷 你说要找我们玩3P
以为3P和3D一样,是什么破游戏呢 我简直不敢相信
我要强的性格就体现出来了 你知道3P是什么吗
当着办公室几个老师的面
我,一个其实很少玩游戏的乖乖女
充满自信的接受同学的挑战 6P
华丽丽的大言不惭: 就听见周围一阵骚乱
哼!不就是玩3P吗,我是高手你知道吗 有老师喝茶喝呛了
有种你等着,我玩死你 还有茶杯掉地的声音。。。
.044.
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═╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚═
7P
我的同学,也崩溃了。。。
我的淑女形象。。。。。。。
我的一世英名。。。。。。。。
全OVEr啦55555555555555。。。。
.045.
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╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
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, Part Ⅲ- 精彩进版
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女人和圣诞树一样 by biancr
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﹡ /\ 25那天,我最漂亮! / \
/ .\ / \
/ o \ ※﹌ゞ﹌※
/ °゜ \ ﹡ \ ∩∩ /
﹡ / б 0 \ /▇▇▇/
/ °о \ / ≈ \
/ Ο 0 \ / ≈ \
/о * о ο\ / mmzt \
﹡ / o O 8 \ / ≈ \
/ o ο О \ /﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌\
/ оΟ °゜о б \ / оΟ °゜о б \
/゜ * * ο \ /゜ * * ο \
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▕ . │ ︳
半梦半醒之间 by biancr & Dio ▕ │ . ︳
─────────────── ▕ ̄ ̄ ̄│ ̄ ̄ ̄︳
▕ . │● ╭ ︳
_____________________ ▕ . │ ︵`/︳
/ | | | | | | | \ ▕ │ ("\| ︳
︳|__|__|__|__|__|__|__︳ ▕ │(ヽ ︳
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌┃  ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
┃ ___ __ __ ___ mmzt呢??
┃ /\╱ \/ \/ ╲/\ / ┃
┃ │* - -︳▕* * │ ┃
┃ ╲__00) (00__╱ ┃
┃$﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌$ ┃
┃$ yoo Notbusy$ ┃
┃$ $ ┃
┃$ $ ┃
┃$ $ ┃
┃$ $ ┃
┃$﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏$ ┃
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___ __
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〔_\_ ︿(")
│ / `
───︺───
▁▃▄▅▆▇|
| _Dio__ |
| \/ ╲/\ |
|~~ *|
小两口干啥呢? (0 0 ||
半夜还打架…… ╲ (")
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猫与吐司永动机 by crowyue ╱ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄╲
─────────────╱ _ ╲ ___
╱ /  ̄ \ ╲
永 涂了奶油 ╲_╱ ╲
动 的吐司 ↘
唯 机 /\ /\ ↓ ╱
有 者 / ''' \ ︷︷︷ /
猫 < X X >[ ̄ ̄ ̄]/ /'')/'') /'')/'')
与 一 <= 人 ≡ > ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄\ \︶//︶ _\︶//︶
吐 场 ╲___╱ ) /  ̄ ̄ ̄ \\ \ _
司 虚 \ \\ ____ / ( ╱ ̄ ̄ ╲
空 ︵//︵\ ︵//︵\ \____< ≡ 丫 =>
循 大 (,,/(,,/ (,,/(,,/ /[___]< X X >
环 梦 / ︸︸︸ \ /
不 ╱ ↑ \/'''\/
止 ↖ 司吐的
╲ ╱ ̄╲ 油奶了涂
by: crowyue ╲___\ __/ ╱
╲ ╱
╲_______╱
▂︽▂
圣斗士星河 by Dio ▁━︿ ︿━▁
─────────▄▄▄▄▄▄◢ ︶〝★〞︶ ◣▄▄▄▄▄▄
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╰◎◎◎◎▉ ▉ ▉ ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ ▉ ▉ ▉◎◎◎◎╯
▋ ▋ ▉ ▉ ▉ ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ ▉ ▉ ▉ ▋ ▋
▋ ▋ ▉ ▉ ▉ ┃ ╳ing┣┫e ┃ ▉ ▉ ▉ ▋ ▋
▋ ▋ ▉ ▉ ▉ ┃ arrested ┃ ▉ ▉ ▉ ▋ ▋
▋ ▋ ▉ ▉ ▉ ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ ▉ ▉ ▉ ▋ ▋
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┢━━━━∕≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡﹨━━━━┪
┃奥林匹 ∕≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡﹨小黑屋 ┃
┃斯山 ∕▓▓▓▓▓≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡▓▓▓▓▓﹨ ┃
┃ ∕▓▓▓▓▓≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡▓▓▓▓▓﹨ ┃
┗━━∕▓▓▓▓▓≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡▓▓▓▓▓﹨━━┛
▁ / ▎▁┃▁ ▉ ◣▊ ▍ ▊
▁ / /▊ ▁▕ ▁┃ ┃◥█◤▋ ▂▌
▁▁/▁▁▎ | ▍ ▎▼◥▊▉ ◥\▌
▁ ▁ ▍▎ ◤▆ ▆ ▋ ▋
▎▎ ▋▎ ▊ ▇ ▇▎ ◥█▌
╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗╔══╗
╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝
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本期编辑
────────────
文本整理: ygs
刷 墙 : freshtime
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╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗╔╝╚╗
╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝╚══╝
Sender: ygs orange agui, letter area: Joke
Title: [Annual] The belated 2008 Annual
Sending site: Shuimu Community Thu Feb 12 11:15:16 2009 , within the site
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Mi Chong's second grade graffiti series by crowdyue
Pumpkin: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 46308
Air conditioning: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 46309
Hello: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 46402
Eyes: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 46590
Viewpoint: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 46629
Late: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 46667
Food Notes: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 46938
Nap: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 47047
Mountaineering: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 47155
Blind date: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 47289
Maiba: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 47733
Hiking: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 48288
Singer: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 48593
Pre-order: http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 49158.002.
[WMV]LOVE 2008 zz BlazingGin
http: www.newsmth.netbbscon.php?bid 872&id 30200
[GAME] Continue to post character flash games haha NotBusy
http: www.newsmth.netbbscon.php?bid 872&id 32240
[PIC]What the cat looks like after taking a bath zz casssie
http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 38954
[GIF] Odom’s pass set off the crowd yellowdream
http: www.newsmth.netbbscon.php?bid 872&id 46035
[PIC]Original Christmas begging cat lightost
http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 48239
[PIC] A funny expression of an owl hcxzc
http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 40548
[PIC] My husband is not at home and I opened the pornographic website hacici
http: www.newsmth.netbbscon.php?bid 872&id 48722
.003.
[PIC]Original Jade Rabbit auwoo
http: www.newsmth.netbbscon.php?bid 872&id 47935
[PIC]Re: Original Jade Rabbit qw63
http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 47937
[PIC] Post some cute thick pictures
http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 49019
http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 49020
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Half asleep and half awake
coolgrass
Last night I dreamed about a colleague, mm, who has a very good relationship with me. My wife used to live in her place.
I dreamed that she was beaten by her husband. She was so bruised that she ran to my house crying and said she was staying for a few days.
I gave her medicine there. I felt so distressed when I looked at her beautiful skin, which was so scarred and bruised.
He scolded me, "What the hell kind of man are you? This move is too dark."
I told her to sleep with my wife and I would sleep with my mother.
Then I woke up in the middle of the night and found my wife next to me, so I asked her where xx was.
She almost whipped me in the middle of the night. I couldn't distinguish between the dream and reality.006.
A heartwarming joke that just happened
touchmyself
Calling my girlfriend in the Western Union office building to ask about tomorrow's schedule
Said she can't come out tomorrow because she has a tutor
I never knew she had a tutor before, but I encourage girls to be financially independent, so I asked.
What time is there?
Talk about last week
Well, that's a good thing, but you should have told me earlier.
I muttered happily for a while, then hung up the phone. When I left the corridor, I saw the customer service girl looking at me with warm eyes.
Love but don't care
On the way home, I received a call from a friend of Western Union, saying that their customer service sister complimented me in the lobby and said I was
A responsible man who knows that he can still talk and laugh freely after he has a girlfriend
From now on, I call my girlfriend my tutor’s mother.007.
Biology laboratory rabbit
maomiao
In the afternoon, there was a demonstration on animal experiments. The medical students were very serious and dressed neatly in white coats, masks and hats.
and rubber gloves. After passing mice, rats, hamsters, and guinea pigs, we finally welcomed the rabbit that made everyone excited.
son
Two very senior brothers carefully picked up two rabbits. They were perfectly wrapped around their lower bodies. This was for protection.
Stop them jumping around. Rabbits are so cute and well-behaved. We can’t help but touch them. I can’t help but think of the male rabbit’s feet.
Confusing, the female rabbit’s eyes are blurred, this ancient proverb
Before drawing blood from the rabbit, our senior brother still had to teach us how to identify the male and female, so we had to unwrap the rabbit and beat it first.
I opened one and showed us its reproductive organs. Then I opened another one and put the two together for comparison.
Everyone nodded in agreement and secretly wondered if such a small thing could be used.
[Continue to next page] .008.
After the male and female demonstration, the rabbit was placed on the table again, and he was going to wrap it up for the next step of drawing blood. The moment he put it down,
Suddenly, in full view of everyone, one of them suddenly jumped to the other side with lightning speed.
on a rabbit
I think, wouldn’t it be more convenient to separate male and female this way?
.009.
My poor dog
FMCC
The dog at home doesn’t know what he has eaten these past two days, and he farts all the time.
Especially he likes to lie next to my bed and sleep. A loud fart makes the whole house stink b
So every time my dog farts, I will yell "stinky dog" and then run out of the room in despair.
This afternoon my dog slept next to my bed as usual. I was playing on the computer next to him and suddenly farted loudly.
The dog immediately jumped up and sniffed his butt nervously.
Then he looked at me with an innocent face
Seeing my serious look, the dog lowered his head and consciously walked out of the room.
.010.
Poor Labrador police dog
SuLiang
Traveling on business in an Olympic city and staying in a hotel where Olympic media will stay
You have to go through a very strict security check, which is very annoying.
Last night while waiting for the security check, I saw a tractor truck coming in carrying swill.
At first, the Olympic security guards refused to let him in. The guy who drove the tractor showed him the certified house number before letting him in.
At first, a security guard went up to inspect the tractor. After a while, he came down and said, tmd, the smell is too strong and I can’t stand it. Come here.
The second security guard went up to check. After a while, he came down and said, "tmd, the smell is too strong and I can't stand it. The police dog is coming."
A Labrador police dog went up and came down after a while and said "woof woof woof"
Then he ran to the distance and lay down...
.011.
dad jokes
ppanda
Dad's phone rang. He was busy and asked me to pick it up. I looked at the caller ID and it said "The First of the Five Mountains." I said, "Who is this?"
My dad said your grandpa
.012.
This is the original general history of the post-80s generation
SHENOK
I started out as a literary student, but at the age of twenty-six, I ended up with a debt of one hundred thousand, looking for a living, and spent ten years without a break.
I had enough money to buy a house and then invested in the stock market. The next year, the number dropped to more than 10,000. I became depressed and became ill. The medical insurance said that it did not meet the regulations of serious illness and refused to pay.
I spent all my money in the hospital for a week and recovered on my own without any medicine. You Lianzhi gave me a pack of Sanlu on credit and I drank it and died.
.013.
Visiting Wat Pho with my wife on National Day
jojia
During the National Day, I went to Wat Pho with my wife
My wife was tired from walking, so she acted coyly and insisted on letting me carry her on my back.
Unable to defeat her, he had to carry her on his back.
Fortunately, my wife is not very fat, Hehe
After not walking far, an old lady came towards me:
"Young man, I see that you have also studied. If you are sick, you still have to go to the hospital. Praying to Buddha is of no use!"
.014.
There are 5 new people coming to the company
hunter771
The leader used to work in the military industry and always spoke with the air of leading troops.
Let these five people stand in a row in front of everyone, and then ask, what are your last names?
Then 5 people said their last names one after another
The first one to say Tian
The second one said horse
The third one said Liu
The fourth said Xing
The fifth one said my surname was Wang [continue to next page] .015.
A bunch of people below collectively shouted that your last name should be Quan
Your last name should be Quan
Your last name should be Quan
People over 40 years old are inexplicable. The little girl muttered below that the fifth person ruined perfection too much.
Everyone despises people named Wang
.016.
Tell me something embarrassing
hyposulphite [zz: yellowdream]
When I was shopping in a mall in the United States, I met a clothes seller. I asked him if he was from Brazil. I was very happy to tell him about you.
Do you play football? So he opened his coat and revealed the Brazilian national team uniform and the Brazilian Football Association logo underneath.
I was about to leave when he suddenly asked me which country I was from. I suddenly felt embarrassed.
For the first time in my life, I felt ashamed of being Chinese. Then I hesitated for half a minute and said that I am from China, so it’s time for Brazil.
NPC embarrassment
It was probably the first time that I didn’t know how to answer. I hesitated for half a minute.
Your women play quite well...
md Never ask a foreigner about football next time you meet him.017.
I was so embarrassed this morning
bar1ey
Our boss, who is a returnee from overseas, speaks with a bit of e-text.
I had a meeting last week and was told to arrive on time at 8:30 this Monday, wearing dirty clothes.
I thought I had to move things again, so I wore a work jacket that I hadn’t washed in 5 years. nnd I was squeezed into the bus when I arrived.
The mm next to me is disgusting
When we got to the office, everyone was wearing suits.
You also make fun of people, this is not the way to ruin clothes.
Shit, after a while a bunch of old men came and pointed, our boss nodded and bowed behind him, and looked at him by the way.
Killed me a hundred times, a hundred times
Embarrassing...it turned out to be a well-dressed one
I'll wait for my walk in the afternoon...
.018.
The other side of adidas
pangshuaige
I remember a classmate bought an Adidas training vest.
Orange red with adidas written on the front
He always thinks it's cool to wear these clothes backwards
so
Every day we watch him running around happily with the word sabiba on his chest
.019.
Beat that mage
ygs
During a 5V5 game, there was a very powerful group. At that time, they were fighting with the standard 2345 configuration of Safa, Muqi and Cavalry.
Their warrior's name is "that knight", the knight's name is "that shaman", the shaman's name is "that mage", and the mage's name is
Called "that priest", the priest's name is "that warrior".
Then trouble came. At that time, UT looked like this:
Captain: Beat that mage!
Some of the group of people were fighting mages and some were fighting shamans, it was a mess.
Captain <roar>: Damn, beat that mage!!!
Those who fight shamans have been replaced by those who fight mages, but those who fight mages have been replaced by those who fight shamans.
Captain <angry, roaring>: Damn it! That profession belongs to the mage, not the one named the mage! Do you understand??
Everyone: Captain, we are all dead. You can watch and fight by yourself.
.020.
The current waiters are also quite funny.
southsmall
A few days ago, during dinner at work, a young colleague ordered a large bottle of Sprite and poured it around for everyone to take their turn.
The bottle is empty when you are alone
So the colleague shook the Sprite bottle and asked the waiter, do you still have this?
The waiter ran over in a hurry, took the bottle and inspected it carefully, with a sincere look on his face.
Say no more
.021.
I'm so embarrassed...I confessed my feelings, the whole process
Published anonymously in Peking University Weiming [zz: Aimar]
I have liked my senior brother for two semesters
I have a master's degree and he has a Ph.D.
He has always had a girlfriend before, and he has good moral sentiments. There is a new man, so he is determined not to take advantage of her.
He broke up with his gf this semester
I've been wondering for a long time whether I should confess my feelings or not.
555
Tangled, Tangled, Tangled for a semester
Yesterday, I was drinking coffee with my best friend at a coffee shop.
I'm embarrassed to say this
My best friend encouraged me to confess my love. If you don’t confess, he won’t be yours. If you confess, he might be yours.
At worst, if he refuses, there will be nothing to lose.
It's better than just thinking here alone [continue to next page] .022.
so I
Hot-headed
impulse
Have courage
I bought a bottle of beer before going out
Drinking alone in the dormitory at night
Finished
I ran downstairs and decided to call him.
Tangled again
So I ran to the canteen and bought a bottle of beer and drank it again.
A little dizzy
I found a deserted tree
I took my cell phone and dialed my senior brother’s number.
Senior brother answered the phone and said hello
[Continue to next page] .023.
I
Put your hands on your hips and say loudly into the phone
Brother, I am ***
Senior brother said, oh, junior sister, what’s the matter?
I
I said
Brother, when will the mid-term paper for class **** be due...
Brother said bla bla bla date
I said
Brother, I haven't written yet...
Senior brother probably doesn’t understand why I didn’t write to tell him, because he’s not a teaching assistant and he’s just choosing courses.
But he still comforted me and gave me some advice on where to find materials.
I hung up the phone
[Continue to next page] .024.
Then I stood under the tree in a daze for a long time
Then I walked to the canteen and bought a candied haws, ate it, and then called my bestie.
My best friend heard that I hadn’t confessed my love yet, so she scolded me.
I was scolded so much that my blood boiled. I became angry and swore that I could cut off my head but nod it to the ground.
SHIT Damn it, I can even go to Peking University
I defeated hundreds of thousands of people
WHO is afraid of WHO
so I
I bought another can of beer and put it in my pocket
Run to senior brother downstairs
Then I called my senior brother again
Want him to come down
Brother, he was barefoot and wearing slippers. He just wore a T underneath and a shirt outside and came down.
It looks like he just took a shower [continue to next page] .025.
Senior brother, he was very surprised and asked me what happened.
I look around
Found another tree
Tell senior brother, let’s talk there
Senior brother followed me and walked to the tree.
Then I was nervous
Shake nervously
Just like when I had a speech contest in middle school
Damn, I scolded myself countless times in my heart. I feel a little regretful.
Woo hoo, if you are rejected
How will I go to class next week?
Wow. There are only five people in that discussion class.
Wow, I don’t even dare to skip class [Go to next page] .026.
The senior brother asked again what happened?
Me, are you very busy? Do you have something to do in a hurry?
Senior brother, it's okay. But I'm very cold.
I looked down at his bare feet and pretended I didn't see them.
I touched the beer in my pocket
Take it out and say
Brother, do you want to drink?
Senior brother is speechless
Then he smiled and said, uh, I don’t really want to drink.
I
[Continue to next page] .027.
Brother, I probably can't bear it. I came all the way with a can of beer worth two yuan and eighty cents.
He said, how about I take it home and drink it?
I happily gave him the beer
After giving
555 Tangled
Is it time to go?
Or confess?
555 The cold wind blows in waves
Senior brother stood under the tree and started to tremble.
My heart is filled with passion
There is a feeling of generosity [continue to next page] .028.
cold wind cold wind
Senior brother looks like he wants to leave
I
I decided that I can’t put it off any longer.
Oh shit
Just die
I'll say it loudly
Senior brother
Senior brother was shocked and said what?
I lowered my voice and said
[Continue to next page] .029.
Uh, I'm here to express my love
Hey, I'm still embarrassed to say "I like you"
Senior brother asked very calmly, did you lose playing cards with your classmates?
Me I never play cards
Senior brother
Me I'm serious
Senior brother
Me, please say something
Why do you feel like I'm forcing women from good families to prostitute themselves?
Senior brother
Me, you think I’m not good-looking
Senior brother, no, you are quite good-looking.
[Continue to next page] .030.
Me, you think I'm too tall
I am 170cm and my senior brother is 171cm. I am wearing high heels...and my senior brother is wearing slippers...
Senior brother, no
Me, you think I have low academic qualifications, 囧RZ myself... I have absolutely nothing to say...
Senior brother, how could that happen?
Me, you are afraid that I will study for a Ph.D. No matter how embarrassing I am... I heard that most boys don't like Ph.D. mm
Senior brother, I’ll probably ask you what the question is again.
I, oh, oh, please say something.
Senior brother, this is a bit too sudden. Can I think about it?
me ok
I look at his feet. They've probably frozen into carrots. Then I'm leaving.
Senior brother, be careful on the road. You have to cross the road when you come back from ccxy.
I ran away
[Continue to next page] .031.
Along the way, I passed a small shop and suddenly felt very scared.
I saw a man selling candied haws, so I bought another one to eat and stood in front of the canteen.
Suddenly I feel so lonely. Just look at the people selling and buying things here.
while eating
The phone rang
The text message from the senior brother said that he had arrived at the dormitory.
I do not
Brother, where are you?
Which canteen is next to my ****?
Brother, I'll come over then
I hurriedly finished the candied haws on a stick
Stupidly......
囧 [Go to next page] .032.
Then the senior brother came over
then pinch
hey-hey
The two of us just giggled for a long time in front of the canteen.
Oops
Senior brother accepted
No need to celebrate the Festival of Lights anymore, embarrassment
I'm sorry to say it
*^ ^*
.033.
It is rather doubtful that the reason for the Mizuki station to be suspended is non-technical.
Linxs
The fact is this
One day God was eating pancakes and fried dough sticks in the computer room, and oil dripped on the edge of the chassis.
Originally, oil is non-conductive, so it should be fine, so God didn’t take it seriously.
That drop of oil seeped into the inside along the edge of the chassis
Enter the power box and drip on the end of the fan shaft.
Oil dripping on the bearings is a good thing
But the drop God dropped was cooking oil with food particles in it
After a short period of time, it gradually becomes moldy, sour, and sticky.
The computer room in Tangshan is well ventilated, and sand and dust often come in and slowly stick to the bearings.
Then there are some flocs generated by static electricity that also stick to the bearings.
This phenomenon is also often seen in our ordinary chassis.
[Continue to next page] .034.
In fact, it’s nothing if the case is dirty with dust and stolen goods.
But God happened to eat too much oil that day, and he dropped not one drop, but two drops of oil on the chassis.
The first drop of oil entered the power box. What about the second drop of oil?
The second drop also seeped into the chassis along a similar route, but did not land on the fan bearing in the movie box.
It was blown by the fan and landed on a line on the motherboard that connects to the hard drive.
Gradually becoming moldy and sour
If God had just eaten pancakes and fried dough sticks once in the computer room, maybe things wouldn't be where they are today.
But Murphy’s Law of the Internet means that what you worry about most will definitely happen.
We are most worried about God eating pancakes and fried dough sticks in the computer room. Then God will definitely eat shoulder fried dough sticks in the computer room.
In the next two opportunities to enter the computer room, God ate pancakes and fried dough sticks in the computer room three times in total.
A total of 5 pieces of pancake and fried dough sticks were left behind.
Pets are not allowed in the computer room
With these snacks left by God, the ants came out of nowhere
Soon the ants removed all the debris on the ground and left.
[Continue to next page] .035.
It looks like this may be the end of the story, but the real story has just begun.
The ant at the back of the team was walking slowly behind because it was too weak to keep up with the large team.
Nature has given man a shortcoming, and it must have given him a strength at the same time. The same goes for ants.
This little ant at the end of the team is weak but has a keen sense of smell.
It smelled the sour smell of oil droplets coming from the top of the chassis, so it turned and crawled in along the gap in the chassis.
The closest thing to it is the drop of oil that fell on the hard drive cable. The little ant crawled bravely towards this drop of God’s oil.
After going through a lot of troubles, walking around the circuits on the motherboard like a maze, I came to the acid oil on the hard drive line.
something unfortunate happened
This day is January 29, 2008, which is exactly 9 o'clock in the morning the next day on January 28, when the Shanghai A-share index fell 8%.
Many injured people turn on their computers and TVs during this time and prepare to start stock trading.
The short-term increase in civilian electricity consumption has led to a rapid drop in the voltage of power lines in some areas.
The automatic control system of a power supply system developed by a certain netizen's company on Shuimushang started to act.
Add a new power supply to the power grid including the area where the Tangshan computer room is located
If this automatic control system is very precise, the instantaneous voltage sudden changes of the newly added power supply can be well controlled.
Disaster will not happen [continue to next page] .036.
But there is a law in project management: details that cannot be seen by the eyes are the most likely to cause problems.
Of course, a sudden voltage change occurs
In the computer room, the power supply fan carrying the Shuimu Community shook slightly due to the sudden change in voltage.
The change in the instantaneous acceleration of the bearing caused the combination of dust and floc surrounding the Oil of God.
After being shaken, it fell down and landed on the bottom of the power box.
Soon it was blown by the fan's wind to a screw hole, fell down, and entered the internal space of the chassis.
It hit the ant that was using its tentacles to taste the second drop of God's sour oil on the hard drive line.
The ant was knocked unconscious at once, and the combination of ant and dust floc fell down.
Before passing the CPU fan, I was attracted by the inward blowing CPU fan and flew diagonally toward the bottom of the motherboard.
Finally, the ant relied on the sour cooking oil sticky on its antennae.
It is glued to the pin named GPIO16 on the north bridge chip under the CPU.
Then the back foot was hanging in the air close to a ground wire on the motherboard, and it was shaking.
This pin named GPIO16 is redefined by the motherboard BIOS as low level RESET Northbridge chip
Finally, the turbulence in the chassis comes into play
[Continue to next page] .037.
Every once in a while, the ant's hind legs are blown by the slight turbulence and hit the ground wire. Direct RESET system
If Mizuki hadn't used reiserFS, maybe there wouldn't be such a serious problem.
If reiser's wife doesn't cheat, reiser won't kill his wife and won't be controlled. reiserFS will be more stable.
If reiserFS was more stable, it would not crash so easily and cause Mizuki to die.
But there are not so many ifs in this world
The fact is that Reiser's wife cheated on him and Reiser killed his wife. ReiserFS has a bug.
After multiple random reboots, Mizuki's FS system finally collapsed.
This is the non-technical reason for the hard drive crash of Shuimu Community
But what we see more from this is that it was people, some people, who caused this disaster.
they include
KCN who violated regulations and ate pancakes and fried dough sticks in the computer room
The pancake and fried dough sticks boss who abused gutter oil a lot
That greedy ant
The main financial trader who caused the Shanghai Composite Index to plummet on January 28, 2008
[Continue to next page] .038.
A certain Mizuki netizen who was not rigorous enough in designing an automatic power control system did not control sudden changes in voltage.
The system BIOS designer of the Mizuki server who redefined GPIO16 as RESET
The third party who seduced Reiser's wife
unchaste reiser wife
Reiser's classmate who committed murder due to impulse
The Western God who creates turbulence
It was they who, intentionally or unintentionally, participated in the conspiracy that led to the collapse of Shuimu Community on April 1, 2008.
.039.
Today's acronyms are killing me.
GGxMM
In the afternoon, my college classmate who was about to get married sent me a text message saying
XXX Are you free on the weekend?
I sincerely invite you to come to my new home and meet my wife.
I was busy going to class and I quickly replied to a text message.
Originally I wanted to write it like this
OK I'm in class. She's back. That's great. She wants to play with you. 3Q
Then quickly confirm and send
[Continue to next page] .040.
but I
Not only are there no punctuations,
In a hurry, I changed Q to P, and 3Q became 3P.
sweat
My image as a lady is ruined
Since the subsequent plot is even more embarrassing, I won’t talk about it today. Go to bed and have a good night.
.041.
Sequel Re: Today’s abbreviations are killing me
GGxMM
Let’s continue talking about threesomes. Let’s change the style of talking.
1P
To be honest
Although I have been with JOKE for so long 2P
But before yesterday, I said that I had sent the text message at that time
I really don’t understand what 3P means. I don’t know that I made a typo.
I'm so ignorant that I let you down. My phone kept moving during class.
I will continue to work hard and be like you. I thought it was my classmates who responded politely again.
Tolerate
Hold it back
3P: Persist in being a good and determined teacher
There were two missed calls and I kept holding on until the end of get out of class.
[Continue to next page] .042.
An unread text message, I just looked at my phone
They are all classmates
The text message asked if 3P was my new signature.
I thought my classmates had read or typed 4P incorrectly.
Just text him back and laugh at him, then go back to the office and be in a daze
What kind of look is it obviously a thank you? 3Q My classmate called me.
After I finished replying, I felt vaguely and smiled in an ups and downs manner.
Maybe I typed it wrong first and then read the text message again in a cadence.
I dug out the sent records and sure enough, I finally said it in a mellow tone.
I feel guilty. What you sent me was a threesome.
I'm so dizzy and sweaty that I'm ashamed to admit that I made a mistake.
Then if you don’t want to change P to Q?
As for smiling so happily?
5P The classmate laughed again and spoke in a measured tone.
[Continue to next page] .043.
I heard him ask so disdainfully, silly sister, you are so wrong.
I'm not speechless or at a loss for words. You said you wanted to have a 3P with us.
I thought 3P was the same as 3D. What kind of crappy game was it? I couldn’t believe it.
My strong character is reflected. Do you know what 3P is?
In front of several teachers in the office
I am a good girl who rarely plays games.
Accept challenges from classmates with confidence 6P
I was so gorgeous and brazen that I heard a commotion around me.
Humph, isn’t it just for threesomes? I’m a master, you know? A teacher choked on his tea.
There's a feeling that if you wait, I'll play with you to death, and there's the sound of the teacup falling to the ground.
.044.
7P
My classmates also collapsed
my lady image
My forever famous name
All OVER55555555555555
.045.
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, Part III Wonderful Advance Edition
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Women are like Christmas trees by biancr
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What are the young couple doing 0 0
Fighting in the middle of the night"
The cat and the toast perpetual motion machine by crowdyue
Yong is creamed
moving toast
only machine
There is '''
Cat X X [ ] '' '' '' ''
with one person
vomit
Si Xu
empty ya
Follow big ,, ,, ,, ,, [ ] X X
ring dream
No '''
Stop spitting
Apply the cream
by: crowyue
Saint Seiya Galaxy by Dio
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arrested
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Olympic Games ﹨Dark Room
Sishan ﹨
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Editor of this issue
Text editing: ygs
Painting the wall: freshtime
.052.