Sender: ygs orange agui, letter area: Joke Title: [Annual] The belated 2008 Annual Sending site: Shuimu Community Thu Feb 12 11:15:16 2009 , within the site . , . . . . . ' . ヽ ' , . , ノ . ゝ , Part Ⅰ MMJoke . ヽ '. 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[PIC]Original Jade Rabbit auwoo http: www.newsmth.netbbscon.php?bid 872&id 47935 [PIC]Re: Original Jade Rabbit qw63 http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 47937 [PIC] Post some cute thick pictures http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 49019 http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 49020 .004. . , . . . . . ' . ヽ ' , . , ノ . ゝ , Part Ⅱ Joke . ヽ '. ' . . ⌒ ' '. , ' ゝ Half asleep and half awake coolgrass Last night I dreamed about a colleague, mm, who has a very good relationship with me. My wife used to live in her place. I dreamed that she was beaten by her husband. She was so bruised that she ran to my house crying and said she was staying for a few days. I gave her medicine there. I felt so distressed when I looked at her beautiful skin, which was so scarred and bruised. He scolded me, "What the hell kind of man are you? This move is too dark." I told her to sleep with my wife and I would sleep with my mother. Then I woke up in the middle of the night and found my wife next to me, so I asked her where xx was. She almost whipped me in the middle of the night. I couldn't distinguish between the dream and reality.006. A heartwarming joke that just happened touchmyself Calling my girlfriend in the Western Union office building to ask about tomorrow's schedule Said she can't come out tomorrow because she has a tutor I never knew she had a tutor before, but I encourage girls to be financially independent, so I asked. What time is there? Talk about last week Well, that's a good thing, but you should have told me earlier. I muttered happily for a while, then hung up the phone. When I left the corridor, I saw the customer service girl looking at me with warm eyes. Love but don't care On the way home, I received a call from a friend of Western Union, saying that their customer service sister complimented me in the lobby and said I was A responsible man who knows that he can still talk and laugh freely after he has a girlfriend From now on, I call my girlfriend my tutor’s mother.007. Biology laboratory rabbit maomiao In the afternoon, there was a demonstration on animal experiments. The medical students were very serious and dressed neatly in white coats, masks and hats. and rubber gloves. After passing mice, rats, hamsters, and guinea pigs, we finally welcomed the rabbit that made everyone excited. son Two very senior brothers carefully picked up two rabbits. They were perfectly wrapped around their lower bodies. This was for protection. Stop them jumping around. Rabbits are so cute and well-behaved. We can’t help but touch them. I can’t help but think of the male rabbit’s feet. Confusing, the female rabbit’s eyes are blurred, this ancient proverb Before drawing blood from the rabbit, our senior brother still had to teach us how to identify the male and female, so we had to unwrap the rabbit and beat it first. I opened one and showed us its reproductive organs. Then I opened another one and put the two together for comparison. Everyone nodded in agreement and secretly wondered if such a small thing could be used. [Continue to next page] .008. After the male and female demonstration, the rabbit was placed on the table again, and he was going to wrap it up for the next step of drawing blood. The moment he put it down, Suddenly, in full view of everyone, one of them suddenly jumped to the other side with lightning speed. on a rabbit I think, wouldn’t it be more convenient to separate male and female this way? .009. My poor dog FMCC The dog at home doesn’t know what he has eaten these past two days, and he farts all the time. Especially he likes to lie next to my bed and sleep. A loud fart makes the whole house stink b So every time my dog ​​farts, I will yell "stinky dog" and then run out of the room in despair. This afternoon my dog ​​slept next to my bed as usual. I was playing on the computer next to him and suddenly farted loudly. The dog immediately jumped up and sniffed his butt nervously. Then he looked at me with an innocent face Seeing my serious look, the dog lowered his head and consciously walked out of the room. .010. Poor Labrador police dog SuLiang Traveling on business in an Olympic city and staying in a hotel where Olympic media will stay You have to go through a very strict security check, which is very annoying. Last night while waiting for the security check, I saw a tractor truck coming in carrying swill. At first, the Olympic security guards refused to let him in. The guy who drove the tractor showed him the certified house number before letting him in. At first, a security guard went up to inspect the tractor. After a while, he came down and said, tmd, the smell is too strong and I can’t stand it. Come here. The second security guard went up to check. After a while, he came down and said, "tmd, the smell is too strong and I can't stand it. The police dog is coming." A Labrador police dog went up and came down after a while and said "woof woof woof" Then he ran to the distance and lay down... .011. dad jokes ppanda Dad's phone rang. He was busy and asked me to pick it up. I looked at the caller ID and it said "The First of the Five Mountains." I said, "Who is this?" My dad said your grandpa .012. This is the original general history of the post-80s generation SHENOK I started out as a literary student, but at the age of twenty-six, I ended up with a debt of one hundred thousand, looking for a living, and spent ten years without a break. I had enough money to buy a house and then invested in the stock market. The next year, the number dropped to more than 10,000. I became depressed and became ill. The medical insurance said that it did not meet the regulations of serious illness and refused to pay. I spent all my money in the hospital for a week and recovered on my own without any medicine. You Lianzhi gave me a pack of Sanlu on credit and I drank it and died. .013. Visiting Wat Pho with my wife on National Day jojia During the National Day, I went to Wat Pho with my wife My wife was tired from walking, so she acted coyly and insisted on letting me carry her on my back. Unable to defeat her, he had to carry her on his back. Fortunately, my wife is not very fat, Hehe After not walking far, an old lady came towards me: "Young man, I see that you have also studied. If you are sick, you still have to go to the hospital. Praying to Buddha is of no use!" .014. There are 5 new people coming to the company hunter771 The leader used to work in the military industry and always spoke with the air of leading troops. Let these five people stand in a row in front of everyone, and then ask, what are your last names? Then 5 people said their last names one after another The first one to say Tian The second one said horse The third one said Liu The fourth said Xing The fifth one said my surname was Wang [continue to next page] .015. A bunch of people below collectively shouted that your last name should be Quan Your last name should be Quan Your last name should be Quan People over 40 years old are inexplicable. The little girl muttered below that the fifth person ruined perfection too much. Everyone despises people named Wang .016. Tell me something embarrassing hyposulphite [zz: yellowdream] When I was shopping in a mall in the United States, I met a clothes seller. I asked him if he was from Brazil. I was very happy to tell him about you. Do you play football? So he opened his coat and revealed the Brazilian national team uniform and the Brazilian Football Association logo underneath. I was about to leave when he suddenly asked me which country I was from. I suddenly felt embarrassed. For the first time in my life, I felt ashamed of being Chinese. Then I hesitated for half a minute and said that I am from China, so it’s time for Brazil. NPC embarrassment It was probably the first time that I didn’t know how to answer. I hesitated for half a minute. Your women play quite well... md Never ask a foreigner about football next time you meet him.017. I was so embarrassed this morning bar1ey Our boss, who is a returnee from overseas, speaks with a bit of e-text. I had a meeting last week and was told to arrive on time at 8:30 this Monday, wearing dirty clothes. I thought I had to move things again, so I wore a work jacket that I hadn’t washed in 5 years. nnd I was squeezed into the bus when I arrived. The mm next to me is disgusting When we got to the office, everyone was wearing suits. You also make fun of people, this is not the way to ruin clothes. Shit, after a while a bunch of old men came and pointed, our boss nodded and bowed behind him, and looked at him by the way. Killed me a hundred times, a hundred times Embarrassing...it turned out to be a well-dressed one I'll wait for my walk in the afternoon... .018. The other side of adidas pangshuaige I remember a classmate bought an Adidas training vest. Orange red with adidas written on the front He always thinks it's cool to wear these clothes backwards so Every day we watch him running around happily with the word sabiba on his chest .019. Beat that mage ygs During a 5V5 game, there was a very powerful group. At that time, they were fighting with the standard 2345 configuration of Safa, Muqi and Cavalry. Their warrior's name is "that knight", the knight's name is "that shaman", the shaman's name is "that mage", and the mage's name is Called "that priest", the priest's name is "that warrior". Then trouble came. At that time, UT looked like this: Captain: Beat that mage! Some of the group of people were fighting mages and some were fighting shamans, it was a mess. Captain <roar>: Damn, beat that mage!!! Those who fight shamans have been replaced by those who fight mages, but those who fight mages have been replaced by those who fight shamans. Captain <angry, roaring>: Damn it! That profession belongs to the mage, not the one named the mage! Do you understand?? Everyone: Captain, we are all dead. You can watch and fight by yourself. .020. The current waiters are also quite funny. southsmall A few days ago, during dinner at work, a young colleague ordered a large bottle of Sprite and poured it around for everyone to take their turn. The bottle is empty when you are alone So the colleague shook the Sprite bottle and asked the waiter, do you still have this? The waiter ran over in a hurry, took the bottle and inspected it carefully, with a sincere look on his face. Say no more .021. I'm so embarrassed...I confessed my feelings, the whole process Published anonymously in Peking University Weiming [zz: Aimar] I have liked my senior brother for two semesters I have a master's degree and he has a Ph.D. He has always had a girlfriend before, and he has good moral sentiments. There is a new man, so he is determined not to take advantage of her. He broke up with his gf this semester I've been wondering for a long time whether I should confess my feelings or not. 555 Tangled, Tangled, Tangled for a semester Yesterday, I was drinking coffee with my best friend at a coffee shop. I'm embarrassed to say this My best friend encouraged me to confess my love. If you don’t confess, he won’t be yours. If you confess, he might be yours. At worst, if he refuses, there will be nothing to lose. It's better than just thinking here alone [continue to next page] .022. so I Hot-headed impulse Have courage I bought a bottle of beer before going out Drinking alone in the dormitory at night Finished I ran downstairs and decided to call him. Tangled again So I ran to the canteen and bought a bottle of beer and drank it again. A little dizzy I found a deserted tree I took my cell phone and dialed my senior brother’s number. Senior brother answered the phone and said hello [Continue to next page] .023. I Put your hands on your hips and say loudly into the phone Brother, I am *** Senior brother said, oh, junior sister, what’s the matter? I I said Brother, when will the mid-term paper for class **** be due... Brother said bla bla bla date I said Brother, I haven't written yet... Senior brother probably doesn’t understand why I didn’t write to tell him, because he’s not a teaching assistant and he’s just choosing courses. But he still comforted me and gave me some advice on where to find materials. I hung up the phone [Continue to next page] .024. Then I stood under the tree in a daze for a long time Then I walked to the canteen and bought a candied haws, ate it, and then called my bestie. My best friend heard that I hadn’t confessed my love yet, so she scolded me. I was scolded so much that my blood boiled. I became angry and swore that I could cut off my head but nod it to the ground. SHIT Damn it, I can even go to Peking University I defeated hundreds of thousands of people WHO is afraid of WHO so I I bought another can of beer and put it in my pocket Run to senior brother downstairs Then I called my senior brother again Want him to come down Brother, he was barefoot and wearing slippers. He just wore a T underneath and a shirt outside and came down. It looks like he just took a shower [continue to next page] .025. Senior brother, he was very surprised and asked me what happened. I look around Found another tree Tell senior brother, let’s talk there Senior brother followed me and walked to the tree. Then I was nervous Shake nervously Just like when I had a speech contest in middle school Damn, I scolded myself countless times in my heart. I feel a little regretful. Woo hoo, if you are rejected How will I go to class next week? Wow. There are only five people in that discussion class. Wow, I don’t even dare to skip class [Go to next page] .026. The senior brother asked again what happened? Me, are you very busy? Do you have something to do in a hurry? Senior brother, it's okay. But I'm very cold. I looked down at his bare feet and pretended I didn't see them. I touched the beer in my pocket Take it out and say Brother, do you want to drink? Senior brother is speechless Then he smiled and said, uh, I don’t really want to drink. I [Continue to next page] .027. Brother, I probably can't bear it. I came all the way with a can of beer worth two yuan and eighty cents. He said, how about I take it home and drink it? I happily gave him the beer After giving 555 Tangled Is it time to go? Or confess? 555 The cold wind blows in waves Senior brother stood under the tree and started to tremble. My heart is filled with passion There is a feeling of generosity [continue to next page] .028. cold wind cold wind Senior brother looks like he wants to leave I I decided that I can’t put it off any longer. Oh shit Just die I'll say it loudly Senior brother Senior brother was shocked and said what? I lowered my voice and said [Continue to next page] .029. Uh, I'm here to express my love Hey, I'm still embarrassed to say "I like you" Senior brother asked very calmly, did you lose playing cards with your classmates? Me I never play cards Senior brother Me I'm serious Senior brother Me, please say something Why do you feel like I'm forcing women from good families to prostitute themselves? Senior brother Me, you think I’m not good-looking Senior brother, no, you are quite good-looking. [Continue to next page] .030. Me, you think I'm too tall I am 170cm and my senior brother is 171cm. I am wearing high heels...and my senior brother is wearing slippers... Senior brother, no Me, you think I have low academic qualifications, 囧RZ ​​myself... I have absolutely nothing to say... Senior brother, how could that happen? Me, you are afraid that I will study for a Ph.D. No matter how embarrassing I am... I heard that most boys don't like Ph.D. mm Senior brother, I’ll probably ask you what the question is again. I, oh, oh, please say something. Senior brother, this is a bit too sudden. Can I think about it? me ok I look at his feet. They've probably frozen into carrots. Then I'm leaving. Senior brother, be careful on the road. You have to cross the road when you come back from ccxy. I ran away [Continue to next page] .031. Along the way, I passed a small shop and suddenly felt very scared. I saw a man selling candied haws, so I bought another one to eat and stood in front of the canteen. Suddenly I feel so lonely. Just look at the people selling and buying things here. while eating The phone rang The text message from the senior brother said that he had arrived at the dormitory. I do not Brother, where are you? Which canteen is next to my ****? Brother, I'll come over then I hurriedly finished the candied haws on a stick Stupidly...... 囧 [Go to next page] .032. Then the senior brother came over then pinch hey-hey The two of us just giggled for a long time in front of the canteen. Oops Senior brother accepted No need to celebrate the Festival of Lights anymore, embarrassment I'm sorry to say it *^ ^* .033. It is rather doubtful that the reason for the Mizuki station to be suspended is non-technical. Linxs The fact is this One day God was eating pancakes and fried dough sticks in the computer room, and oil dripped on the edge of the chassis. Originally, oil is non-conductive, so it should be fine, so God didn’t take it seriously. That drop of oil seeped into the inside along the edge of the chassis Enter the power box and drip on the end of the fan shaft. Oil dripping on the bearings is a good thing But the drop God dropped was cooking oil with food particles in it After a short period of time, it gradually becomes moldy, sour, and sticky. The computer room in Tangshan is well ventilated, and sand and dust often come in and slowly stick to the bearings. Then there are some flocs generated by static electricity that also stick to the bearings. This phenomenon is also often seen in our ordinary chassis. [Continue to next page] .034. In fact, it’s nothing if the case is dirty with dust and stolen goods. But God happened to eat too much oil that day, and he dropped not one drop, but two drops of oil on the chassis. The first drop of oil entered the power box. What about the second drop of oil? The second drop also seeped into the chassis along a similar route, but did not land on the fan bearing in the movie box. It was blown by the fan and landed on a line on the motherboard that connects to the hard drive. Gradually becoming moldy and sour If God had just eaten pancakes and fried dough sticks once in the computer room, maybe things wouldn't be where they are today. But Murphy’s Law of the Internet means that what you worry about most will definitely happen. We are most worried about God eating pancakes and fried dough sticks in the computer room. Then God will definitely eat shoulder fried dough sticks in the computer room. In the next two opportunities to enter the computer room, God ate pancakes and fried dough sticks in the computer room three times in total. A total of 5 pieces of pancake and fried dough sticks were left behind. Pets are not allowed in the computer room With these snacks left by God, the ants came out of nowhere Soon the ants removed all the debris on the ground and left. [Continue to next page] .035. It looks like this may be the end of the story, but the real story has just begun. The ant at the back of the team was walking slowly behind because it was too weak to keep up with the large team. Nature has given man a shortcoming, and it must have given him a strength at the same time. The same goes for ants. This little ant at the end of the team is weak but has a keen sense of smell. It smelled the sour smell of oil droplets coming from the top of the chassis, so it turned and crawled in along the gap in the chassis. The closest thing to it is the drop of oil that fell on the hard drive cable. The little ant crawled bravely towards this drop of God’s oil. After going through a lot of troubles, walking around the circuits on the motherboard like a maze, I came to the acid oil on the hard drive line. something unfortunate happened This day is January 29, 2008, which is exactly 9 o'clock in the morning the next day on January 28, when the Shanghai A-share index fell 8%. Many injured people turn on their computers and TVs during this time and prepare to start stock trading. The short-term increase in civilian electricity consumption has led to a rapid drop in the voltage of power lines in some areas. The automatic control system of a power supply system developed by a certain netizen's company on Shuimushang started to act. Add a new power supply to the power grid including the area where the Tangshan computer room is located If this automatic control system is very precise, the instantaneous voltage sudden changes of the newly added power supply can be well controlled. Disaster will not happen [continue to next page] .036. But there is a law in project management: details that cannot be seen by the eyes are the most likely to cause problems. Of course, a sudden voltage change occurs In the computer room, the power supply fan carrying the Shuimu Community shook slightly due to the sudden change in voltage. The change in the instantaneous acceleration of the bearing caused the combination of dust and floc surrounding the Oil of God. After being shaken, it fell down and landed on the bottom of the power box. Soon it was blown by the fan's wind to a screw hole, fell down, and entered the internal space of the chassis. It hit the ant that was using its tentacles to taste the second drop of God's sour oil on the hard drive line. The ant was knocked unconscious at once, and the combination of ant and dust floc fell down. Before passing the CPU fan, I was attracted by the inward blowing CPU fan and flew diagonally toward the bottom of the motherboard. Finally, the ant relied on the sour cooking oil sticky on its antennae. It is glued to the pin named GPIO16 on the north bridge chip under the CPU. Then the back foot was hanging in the air close to a ground wire on the motherboard, and it was shaking. This pin named GPIO16 is redefined by the motherboard BIOS as low level RESET Northbridge chip Finally, the turbulence in the chassis comes into play [Continue to next page] .037. Every once in a while, the ant's hind legs are blown by the slight turbulence and hit the ground wire. Direct RESET system If Mizuki hadn't used reiserFS, maybe there wouldn't be such a serious problem. If reiser's wife doesn't cheat, reiser won't kill his wife and won't be controlled. reiserFS will be more stable. If reiserFS was more stable, it would not crash so easily and cause Mizuki to die. But there are not so many ifs in this world The fact is that Reiser's wife cheated on him and Reiser killed his wife. ReiserFS has a bug. After multiple random reboots, Mizuki's FS system finally collapsed. This is the non-technical reason for the hard drive crash of Shuimu Community But what we see more from this is that it was people, some people, who caused this disaster. they include KCN who violated regulations and ate pancakes and fried dough sticks in the computer room The pancake and fried dough sticks boss who abused gutter oil a lot That greedy ant The main financial trader who caused the Shanghai Composite Index to plummet on January 28, 2008 [Continue to next page] .038. A certain Mizuki netizen who was not rigorous enough in designing an automatic power control system did not control sudden changes in voltage. The system BIOS designer of the Mizuki server who redefined GPIO16 as RESET The third party who seduced Reiser's wife unchaste reiser wife Reiser's classmate who committed murder due to impulse The Western God who creates turbulence It was they who, intentionally or unintentionally, participated in the conspiracy that led to the collapse of Shuimu Community on April 1, 2008. .039. Today's acronyms are killing me. GGxMM In the afternoon, my college classmate who was about to get married sent me a text message saying XXX Are you free on the weekend? I sincerely invite you to come to my new home and meet my wife. I was busy going to class and I quickly replied to a text message. Originally I wanted to write it like this OK I'm in class. She's back. That's great. She wants to play with you. 3Q Then quickly confirm and send [Continue to next page] .040. but I Not only are there no punctuations, In a hurry, I changed Q to P, and 3Q became 3P. sweat My image as a lady is ruined Since the subsequent plot is even more embarrassing, I won’t talk about it today. Go to bed and have a good night. .041. Sequel Re: Today’s abbreviations are killing me GGxMM Let’s continue talking about threesomes. Let’s change the style of talking. 1P To be honest Although I have been with JOKE for so long 2P But before yesterday, I said that I had sent the text message at that time I really don’t understand what 3P means. I don’t know that I made a typo. I'm so ignorant that I let you down. My phone kept moving during class. I will continue to work hard and be like you. I thought it was my classmates who responded politely again. Tolerate Hold it back 3P: Persist in being a good and determined teacher There were two missed calls and I kept holding on until the end of get out of class. [Continue to next page] .042. An unread text message, I just looked at my phone They are all classmates The text message asked if 3P was my new signature. I thought my classmates had read or typed 4P incorrectly. Just text him back and laugh at him, then go back to the office and be in a daze What kind of look is it obviously a thank you? 3Q My classmate called me. After I finished replying, I felt vaguely and smiled in an ups and downs manner. Maybe I typed it wrong first and then read the text message again in a cadence. I dug out the sent records and sure enough, I finally said it in a mellow tone. I feel guilty. What you sent me was a threesome. I'm so dizzy and sweaty that I'm ashamed to admit that I made a mistake. Then if you don’t want to change P to Q? As for smiling so happily? 5P The classmate laughed again and spoke in a measured tone. [Continue to next page] .043. I heard him ask so disdainfully, silly sister, you are so wrong. I'm not speechless or at a loss for words. You said you wanted to have a 3P with us. I thought 3P was the same as 3D. What kind of crappy game was it? I couldn’t believe it. My strong character is reflected. Do you know what 3P is? In front of several teachers in the office I am a good girl who rarely plays games. Accept challenges from classmates with confidence 6P I was so gorgeous and brazen that I heard a commotion around me. Humph, isn’t it just for threesomes? I’m a master, you know? A teacher choked on his tea. There's a feeling that if you wait, I'll play with you to death, and there's the sound of the teacup falling to the ground. .044. 7P My classmates also collapsed my lady image My forever famous name All OVER55555555555555 .045. . , . . . . . ' . ヽ ' , . , ノ . ゝ , Part III Wonderful Advance Edition . ヽ '. ' . . ⌒ ' '. , ' ゝ Women are like Christmas trees by biancr * ﹡I am the most beautiful on the 25th day . o ゞ ゜ ﹡ ﹡б 0 о Ο о * о ο mmzt ﹡ o O o o О оΟ ゜о б оΟ ゜о б ゜ * ο ゜ * ο * . Half asleep and half awake by biancr & Dio. . . " ヽ Where is mmzt? * * * 00 00 yoo Notbusy > < 00 > " Dio * What are the young couple doing 0 0 Fighting in the middle of the night" The cat and the toast perpetual motion machine by crowdyue Yong is creamed moving toast only machine There is ''' Cat X X [ ] '' '' '' '' with one person vomit Si Xu empty ya Follow big ,, ,, ,, ,, [ ] X X ring dream No ''' Stop spitting Apply the cream by: crowyue Saint Seiya Galaxy by Dio ing e arrested ﹨ Olympic Games ﹨Dark Room Sishan ﹨ ﹨ ﹨ Editor of this issue Text editing: ygs Painting the wall: freshtime .052.