发信人: cu0 (多看了你一眼), 信区: Joke
标 题: 不是最后的月刊!
发信站: 水木社区 (Wed Sep 12 12:35:51 2012), 站内
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╲ ╲╱ \╯ \ / \ ---
╲ 。\ /\/ _ │ 陪你去 看 娇客 落
│ 。 \ \▁ ╱/ │ . . .︵. . . ╱
│ \ ╲)╰╯ / | 3 4 2 2 2 1 - | ╱╱╱
\ ╱) /─-╮ \ 。 ╱/╲ --- ╱╱
╲_╲▁▁▁_╱ ╲╱_ \▁╱ │╱\ 在这水 木 上 ☆
/ /╱\╱_ /||│︳│︳ \
/ ╱/\╱ │|\//▁/ ╲ │ .∧. ╱╲
▁│ ▁ ▁▁_╱ ╱\▁│\▁︵▁│││ ( ) \│/
▕╲ \ / ╲ ╱\ /-/ (~\ ▕\││ / ◇ \.╯│╰.
▕ ╲︺ ╲▁╱ ╱─ │(│ ╲╲/ / │ │ ◇ │\)\/(/
▕ \ ▁ ╱╱/ // _ ╲_/ / ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
▕ ╱ ̄ ╱ / ╱ ̄╰───┤──╮ ︶︶ ╰--╯
▕ / / ▁/╱╲ │╲ \\▁
▕ \ │ /o╱ \▁▁_ │ ╱\ \
▕ ╲▁ \ ▁╱╭╯ ▁╱ \▁╱ ╲ \ / Joke 六月七月合刊
▕ │ /╲ ╱╲ │\ ╱ / _╱ ╲/
▕ \/ \/ ╲ \ \\ │\ ╱▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁╲ -封面 奥特曼与怪兽-
to be continued
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[pic]p图
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-5-1
[pic]邵大师
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-5-2 ╱
[pic]ps ╱╱╱
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-5-3 ╱╱
西安电视台出大丑,没人关注么 (转载) ☆
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-5-4
它不只是人字拖! .∧. ╱╲
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-5-5 ( ) \│/
黑市重金买了一套古董,秦兵马俑 / ◇ \.╯│╰.
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-5-6 │ ◇ │\)\/(/
[pic]扇子(z) ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-5-7 ︶︶ ╰--╯
如何选择南京的大学zz (转载)
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-5-8
Joke 六月七月合刊
- mmjoke 六月推荐 -
to be continued
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[PIC]印度渔业部门大楼的设计图和实际效果
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-6-1
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原原TT还能这么用,一T在手,万事不愁... ╱╱╱
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-6-2 ╱╱
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[pic]无聊的我搞大楼玩
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-6-3 .∧. ╱╲
( ) \│/
潜入地球的外星人 (转载) / ◇ \.╯│╰.
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-6-4 │ ◇ │\)\/(/
▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
【组图:一场大雨给北京带来了】 (转载) ︶︶ ╰--╯
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-6-5
Joke 六月七月合刊
- mmjoke 七月推荐 -
to be continued
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给我滚回狗窝去。。。。 ╱
by shansq ╱╱╱
╱╱
以前我家养了一只大黄狗, ☆
和我很亲,很喜欢爬我床上睡,
然后常常被老爸看到,会被踢赶下去。 .∧. ╱╲
某天晚上, ( ) \│/
我睡觉睡睡连人和被子都滚到地上了, / ◇ \.╯│╰.
我正要往床上爬, │ ◇ │\)\/(/
这时,背上阵剧痛,被踹到在地, ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
只听老爸爆喝一声: ︶︶ ╰--╯
“死狗,给我滚回狗窝去!”
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 1 -
to be continued
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乐此不疲。。。
by shansq ╱
╱╱╱
一次看到老舅手指夹着燃着的烟 ╱╱
靠在沙发上睡着了, ☆
就很心疼地走过去,
轻手轻脚地 .∧. ╱╲
又给点着一支新的夹上。 ( ) \│/
一下午乐此不疲地点了半盒烟 。 / ◇ \.╯│╰.
老舅醒后,很感动。 │ ◇ │\)\/(/
于是决定不让我吃晚饭。 ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
︶︶ ╰--╯
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 2 -
to be continued
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欧洲杯笑话 ☆
by THENT ╱
╱╱╱
RT @lyw729: ╱╱
欧洲杯比赛的看台上, ☆
球迷们自发组成了各种各样的方块队,
为自己国家的球队呐喊助威。 .∧. ╱╲
俄罗斯球迷见状, ( ) \│/
也组成了一个方块队, / ◇ \.╯│╰.
然后…… │ ◇ │\)\/(/
就全部消失了。 ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
︶︶ ╰--╯
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 3 -
to be continued
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高贵的路人甲 ☆
by Laurelnew ☆
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中午,饭后散步,路过某五星级酒店门口。 ╱☆
一中年男纸站树荫下, ╱╱╱
身着一件笔挺的长袖衬,貌似造价不菲。 ╱╱
左手叉腰,右手一支烟, ☆
一身睥睨天下的高贵气度无人能出其右。
见我近,霸气男抬起鼻孔瞥了我一眼。 .∧. ╱╲
…尼玛! ( ) \│/
于是,我一脸谄媚迎上去, / ◇ \.╯│╰.
指着不远处打着“暂停运营”牌子的出租车, │ ◇ │\)\/(/
对霸气男道:“师傅,走吗?” ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
︶︶ ╰--╯
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 4 -
to be continued
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悲催的邻居男 ☆
by Laurelnew ☆
╱☆
有撞衫撞鞋的,那天我居然撞香水了! ╱╱╱☆
早上一进电梯 ╱╱
浓郁的Paul Smith晨露玫瑰的香味汹涌而来, ☆
顶了我个趔趄。
定睛看去,这浓香的中央, .∧. ╱╲
默立着一络腮胡须男!!! ( ) \│/
我大骇,犹豫再三仍旧问了: / ◇ \.╯│╰.
“你知道这款是女士香水吗?” │ ◇ │\)\/(/
该男一脸悲愤欲死: ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
“靠!早上跟我媳妇吵架, ︶︶ ╰--╯
她拿香水喷了我一头一脸!”
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 5 -
to be continued
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语不惊人死不休的时尚妈 ☆
by Laurelnew ☆
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(劳拉妈妈很潮, ╱☆
没事就喜欢逛微博,泡水木。 ╱╱╱☆
这是背景介绍) ╱╱ ☆
带老妈去吃日式铁板烧, ☆
点了一道海胆蒸水蛋。
我感慨说:海胆蒸蛋这个名字太不准确了, .∧. ╱╲
海胆和鸡蛋的比例不同,做出来的味道完全不一样嘛, ( ) \│/
可都起名叫“海胆蒸水蛋”,太讨厌了。 / ◇ \.╯│╰.
老妈表示赞同。 │ ◇ │\)\/(/
我说:应该给不同比例的海胆蒸蛋取不同的名字啊。▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
比如,十个鸡蛋蒸一个海胆,可以起啥名字? ︶︶ ╰--╯
老妈:叫“孤胆英雄”吧
劳拉:甚好!那要是一个鸡蛋蒸十个海胆呢?
老妈想了想说:可以叫做“蛋蛋的忧桑” Joke 六月七月合刊
劳拉:。。。。。。。。老妈,没事少上水木!
- joke part 6 -
to be continued
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小盆友的小名 ☆
by unforgiven ☆
╱☆
话说儿子快周岁了, ╱╱╱☆
他奶奶每天都会带着出去和小区里的孩子一起玩。 ╱╱ ☆
有一天回来说,奶奶说: ☆ ☆
“小区里有个小男孩很漂亮,名字叫来旺。”
我们两口子悄悄的说, .∧. ╱╲
现在的家长真是返璞归真啊, ( ) \│/
起了这么有乡土气息的名字。 / ◇ \.╯│╰.
某天我们自己带着出去玩,也碰到来旺小朋友, │ ◇ │\)\/(/
才发现人家的小名叫 ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
Levin …… ︶︶ ╰--╯
话说我老妈这个翻译真的是无敌的很啊
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 7 -
to be continued
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昨天打车回家路上遇到个美女 ╱☆
by jsier ╱╱╱☆
╱╱ ☆
昨天打车回家路上遇到个美女在挡车 ☆ ☆
(各种漂亮身材各种好), ☆
司机果断减速。 .∧. ╱╲
我想能捎一个这样的美女也蛮不错的。 ( ) \│/
没想到那个禽兽说你下车钱不要你的了。 / ◇ \.╯│╰.
我……艹 │ ◇ │\)\/(/
▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
︶︶ ╰--╯
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 8 -
to be continued
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码农短笑话 ☆
by cooooldog ╱☆
╱╱╱☆
A码农抱怨说: ╱╱ ☆
干IT这行太苦了, ☆ ☆
想换一行怎么办? ☆
朋友答: .∧. ╱╲ ☆
敲一下回车…… ( ) \│/
/ ◇ \.╯│╰.
│ ◇ │\)\/(/
▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
︶︶ ╰--╯
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 9 -
to be continued
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邻居发的z ☆
by tianland ☆
╱☆
小卖部出来一对情侣,拿了瓶饮料。 ╱╱╱☆
我正准备也买瓶喝,听女的在后面喊男的: ╱╱ ☆
“喂,这上面再来一瓶是啥意思?” ☆ ☆
男的头也不回:“不知道。” ☆
于是,女的随手把瓶盖扔地上了。 .∧. ╱╲ ☆
这一幕被我看到,以为碰见俩白痴。 ( ) \│/ ☆
待他们走远,我急忙跑去捡起来, / ◇ \.╯│╰.
又是吹,又是对太阳看, │ ◇ │\)\/(/
结果上面四个大字: ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
谢谢品尝。 ︶︶ ╰--╯
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 10 -
to be continued
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大家都做过什么梦? ☆
by at2011518 ☆
☆
@LoveLomo:昨天晚上做了一个很霸气的梦。 ╱☆
睡觉的时候梦到我被一群五大三粗的大老爷们追着, ╱╱╱☆
追到以后把麻袋唔头上一顿猛打, ╱╱ ☆
然后立刻惊醒了, ☆ ☆
哎呀我去,一身冷汗啊, ☆
接着睡呗, .∧. ╱╲ ☆
高潮是, ( ) \│/ ☆
睡了一会看到那大汉拿着麻袋说了一句: / ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
“你他妈的还敢回来啊?” │ ◇ │\)\/(/
结果一夜没敢睡…… -_-b ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
︶︶ ╰--╯
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 11 -
to be continued
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姑娘说:钱都给了,就别惦记人了【ZZ】 ☆
by ailuguan ☆
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刚从建外soho地库出来, ╱☆
发现忘带钱包, ╱╱╱☆
交不了停车费被困地库出口。 ╱╱ ☆
后面车里一好心姑娘替我掏了18块钱停车费, ☆ ☆
还把找回来的32块钱也塞给我,说: ☆
一会儿万一您再进个地库,可就不一定能碰见我了。 .∧. ╱╲ ☆
真是叫我太感动了!~~ ( ) \│/ ☆
这还不是高潮, / ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
后来我管姑娘说要个电话方便还钱, │ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
姑娘说:钱都给了,就别惦记人了。 ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁
︶︶ ╰--╯
有想歪的没有???
顶上十大!
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 12 -
to be continued
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你要青春有毛线用 ╱☆
by vooodooo ╱╱╱☆
╱╱ ☆
过年的时候教会了爷爷奶奶用电脑, ☆ ☆
还申请了个QQ号给他们。。。。 ☆
昨天偶然瞟到奶奶的Q上面的状态, .∧. ╱╲ ☆
瞬间石化了。。 ( ) \│/ ☆
当你不去旅行,不去冒险,不去谈一场恋爱, / ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
不过没试过的生活,挂着QQ,刷着微博, │ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
逛着淘宝,干着我80岁都能做的事情。。 ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁ ☆
你要青春有毛线用。 ︶︶ ╰--╯
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 13 -
to be continued
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我妈妈也毒舌了(原创) ☆
by SundayMore ☆
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台风又来深圳了, ╱☆
我靠着一把小阳伞顶着, ╱╱╱☆
从地铁口到家, ╱╱ ☆
全身湿了一大半。 ☆ ☆
进门我就“抱怨”我爸: ☆
老爸,这么大雨你都不带把大点的伞来接下我。 .∧. ╱╲ ☆
老爸很冷淡地说: ( ) \│/ ☆
你这年纪,要接也不是我接你了! / ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
— —! │ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
又中枪!还没等我反应过来, ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁ ☆
我老妈又给我补了一刀子: ︶︶ ╰--╯ ☆
唉,你这就叫做青黄不接啊!
……
Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 14 -
to be continued
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拔罐儿 ╱☆
by stoney ╱╱╱☆
╱╱ ☆
前天晚上去拔罐儿 ☆ ☆
完了背上有很多大圆点 ☆
走的时候,大夫随口说, .∧. ╱╲ ☆
这会儿回去很堵吧 ( ) \│/ ☆
我说,还好吧,我用飞的 / ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
她愣了一下,说:什么? │ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
我说,我是七星瓢虫呀。 ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁ ☆
︶︶ ╰--╯ ☆
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Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 15 -
to be continued
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包大人很忙 ☆
by yutourr ╱☆
╱╱╱☆
展昭给马汉讲自己的英勇故事: ╱╱ ☆
“那天我探逍遥楼,获得重要情报, ☆ ☆
却误中机关,身受重伤。 ☆
我强提一口真气,支撑到开封府,突然眼前一黑。” .∧. ╱╲ ☆
马汉关切的问:“你昏倒了?” ( ) \│/ ☆
展昭:“不,是包大人出来了。” / ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
│ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁ ☆
︶︶ ╰--╯ ☆
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Joke 六月七月合刊
- joke part 16 -
to be continued
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包大人很忙 ☆
by yutourr ╱☆
╱╱╱☆
“妈妈,这个世界上有鬼吗?” ╱╱ ☆
“傻孩子,当然没有。” ☆ ☆
“可街上有团火在飘来飘去诶。” ☆
“那是鬼火,是人死后体内的磷与水或者碱作用时 .∧. ╱╲ ☆
产生磷化氢自燃造成的。” ( ) \│/ ☆
“可后面还有一套衣服跟火一起飘来飘去诶。” / ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
“我看看,哦,那是包大人打着灯笼在巡夜。” │ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁ ☆
︶︶ ╰--╯ ☆
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Joke 六月七月合刊 ☆
- joke part 17 -
to be continued
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包大人很忙 ☆
by yutourr ╱☆
╱╱╱☆
深夜,五鼠路上伏击包大人,想抓走大人。 ╱╱ ☆
翻江鼠蒋平站在最高处,发号施令,指示包大人的位置: ☆ ☆
“那个穿官服的是包大人。” ☆
“正在脱官服的是包大人。” .∧. ╱╲ ☆
“艾玛,包大人不见了。” ( ) \│/ ☆
/ ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
│ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁ ☆
︶︶ ╰--╯ ☆
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Joke 六月七月合刊 ☆
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- joke part 18 -
to be continued
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认错人了 ☆
by yutourr ☆
╱☆
鲁迅走在路上, ╱╱╱☆
突然听到有人叫“迅哥儿!” ╱╱ ☆
回头只见一个唇红齿白的美少年。 ☆ ☆
鲁迅问: ☆
“你是?” .∧. ╱╲ ☆
少年说: ( ) \│/ ☆
“迅哥儿,你忘了那金黄的圆月、 / ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
碧绿的西瓜地、钢叉、 │ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
项带银圈的少年了吗?” ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁ ☆
鲁迅兴奋的抓住他: ︶︶ ╰--╯ ☆
“闰土!你是闰土!” ☆
“不,我是猹。” ☆
Joke 六月七月合刊 ☆
☆
- joke part 19 - ☆
to be continued
☆
☆
段子 ☆
by BearPapa ☆
╱☆
小时候老家有许多那种气枪打气球的小摊, ╱╱╱☆
老板都是很变态的, ╱╱ ☆
因为每次经过,他们都会试探性地问我: ☆ ☆
少年,来一发吗? ☆
.∧. ╱╲ ☆
为什么现在搞基的越来越多? ( ) \│/ ☆
因为坚硬的现实让我们都有了一颗玻璃心。 / ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
│ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
一群大雁往南飞, ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁ ☆
一会儿排成个“閷”字, ︶︶ ╰--╯ ☆
一会儿排成个“鸊”字。 ☆
☆
Joke 六月七月合刊 ☆
☆
- joke part 20 - ☆
to be continued
☆
段子 ☆
by BearPapa ☆
╱☆
“waiter,给我来一份 Van Church Jordan。” ╱╱╱☆
“先生能说中文吗?” ╱╱ ☆
“给我来份番茄炒鸡蛋。” ☆ ☆
☆
you raise me up .∧. ╱╲ ☆
《油价涨,米价也涨》 ( ) \│/ ☆
/ ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
你说我容易吗!四级抱怨说。 │ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
六级耸耸肩回答:别提了,我也很难过。 ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁ ☆
︶︶ ╰--╯ ☆
☆
☆
Joke 六月七月合刊 ☆
☆
- joke part 21 - ☆
to be continued
段子 ☆
by BearPapa ☆
╱☆
You understand? ╱╱╱☆
Yes! ╱╱ ☆
你下面竖起来了吗? ☆ ☆
是的! ☆
.∧. ╱╲ ☆
I usually wake up early. ( ) \│/ ☆
通常我起床是因为饿了。 / ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
│ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
郭敬明的公司完美地诠释了木桶理论: ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁ ☆
最短的那个决定一切。 ︶︶ ╰--╯ ☆
☆
珍惜你身边笑点低的女孩子吧, ☆
听说西周灭亡就是因为一个笑点太高的女人。 Joke 六月七月合刊 ☆
☆
- joke part 22 - ☆
to be continued
槐树花香一路来
by amosryan
去单位的路上要经过一条小巷, ☆
路两边全是槐树, ╱☆
现在正是槐花开的时候, ╱╱╱☆
满蔟蔟的煞是好看…… ╱╱ ☆
今天心情不错,提前两站下车, ☆ ☆
郁郁树荫下落英缤纷,感觉甚好…… ☆
到了单位,见到同事, .∧. ╱╲ ☆
我傻呵呵地跟他们神聊, ( ) \│/ ☆
他们乐呵呵的…… / ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
见到领导,我傻呵呵地跟他打招呼, │ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
他乐呵呵的…… ▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁ ☆
上午去卫生间无意瞥了一下镜子, ︶︶ ╰--╯ ☆
愣了…… ☆
满头的小白花啊, ☆
跟刚被撒了花的新娘子似的…… Joke 六月七月合刊 ☆
他们都很坏,有木有? ☆
- 小 黑 屋 - ☆
to be continued
╱ ╱
╱╱╱ ╱╱╱ ╱
╱╱ ╱╱ ╱╱╱
☆ ☆ ╱╱ ☆
╱ ☆ ☆
╱╱╱ ☆
╱╱ 总作者 ☆
☆ ︵︵ joke DK72 ☆
(" ) XHW Baist ╱ ☆
╲╱ mmjoke ap9 ╱╱╱ ☆
.∧. ╱╲ 刷墙工 halleyhit ╱╱ ☆
( ) \│/ ☆ ☆
/ ◇ \.╯│╰. ☆
│ ◇ │\)\/(/ ☆
▁▁\ ◇ /_│││▁▁ ☆
︶︶ ╰--╯ ☆
Joke 六月七月合刊 ☆
☆
-封底 又相信爱情了- ☆
end
Sender: cu0 looked at you one more time, message area: Joke
Title: Not the last monthly magazine
Sending site: Shuimu Community Wed Sep 12 12:35:51 2012 , within the site
<space>
. . . .
3 2 3 3 5 7 1 1 1 2
I'll accompany you to watch Jiao Ke's wedding
. . . . . . .
3 4 2 2 2 1
on this water tree
. .
. .
o
Joke June and July combined issue
Cover Ultraman and the Monsters
to be continued
[pic] p picture
http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 5 1
[pic]Master Shao
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 5 2
[pic]ps
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 5 3
Xi'an TV station made a big mistake. No one pays attention to it. Repost it
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 5 4
It's not just flip-flops! . .
http: www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 5 5
I spent a lot of money on the black market to buy a set of antique Qin Terracotta Warriors and Horses...
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 5 6
[pic]fan z
http: www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 5 7
How to choose a university in Nanjingzz Reprinted
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 5 8
Joke June and July combined issue
mmjoke June recommendation
to be continued
[PIC] Design drawings and actual effects of the Indian Fisheries Department Building
http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 6 1
Yuanyuan TT can still be used in this way. With one TT in hand, everything will be worry-free...
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 6 2
[pic] When I’m bored, I play in the building
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 6 3 . .
Aliens Sneaking into Earth Reposted . .
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 6 4
Photos: A heavy rain brings heavy rain to Beijing. Reposted
http: www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 6 5
Joke June and July combined issue
mmjoke July recommendation
to be continued
Get back to the doghouse
by shansq
I used to have a big yellow dog at home
She is very close to me and likes to sleep on my bed.
Then my dad would often kick me out when he saw me...
one night
When I slept, both people and the quilt rolled to the floor...
I'm about to crawl into bed
At this time, I felt a sharp pain in my back and was kicked to the ground.
I just heard my dad shout loudly
Damn dog, get back to the kennel.
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 1
to be continued
never tire of it
by shansq
Once I saw my old uncle holding a burning cigarette between his fingers
Fell asleep on the sofa
I walked over very distressedly
Gently . .
I lit a new one and put it on
I happily ordered half a pack of cigarettes all afternoon...
After my uncle woke up, he was very touched
So he decided not to let me have dinner
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 2
to be continued
european cup jokes
by THENT
RT @lyw729:
In the stands at the European Cup match
Fans spontaneously formed various cube teams
Cheer for your country’s team. .
Russian fans see this
A cube team was also formed...
Then
It all disappeared
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 3
to be continued
noble passerby
by Laurelnew
After lunch, I took a walk and passed by the entrance of a five-star hotel.
A middle-aged man stands under the shade of a tree
Wearing a starched long-sleeved shirt, it seems to have been expensively made.
Left hand on hip, right hand a cigarette
No one can match his noble demeanor that looks down upon the world.
Seeing me approaching, the domineering man raised his nostrils and glanced at me...
Nima
So I greeted him with a flattering face...
Pointing to a taxi not far away with a "Suspended Operation" sign
To the domineering man, Master, are you leaving?
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 4
to be continued
Sad neighbor man
by Laurelnew
There are people who wear matching clothes and matching shoes. That day, I actually wore matching perfume.
Entering the elevator in the morning
The rich scent of Paul Smith Morning Dew Rose surges through the air
It staggered me
Look closely at the center of this strong fragrance...
A man with a beard stands silently
I was so horrified that I hesitated and asked again...
Did you know this is a women's perfume?
The man looked so sad and angry that he wanted to die
Damn, I had a fight with my wife this morning.
She sprayed perfume on my head and face
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 5
to be continued
The fashionable mom who never stops talking without surprising words
by Laurelnew
Laura's mother is very trendy
When I have nothing to do, I like to browse Weibo and soak in water trees.
This is the background introduction
Taking my mom to eat Japanese Teppanyaki
Ordered a sea urchin steamed egg dish
I lamented that the name "Sea Urchin Steamed Egg" is too inaccurate...
The ratio of sea urchin to eggs is different, so the taste is completely different.
But they all call it Sea Urchin Steamed Egg, which is so annoying...
Mom agrees
I said we should give different proportions of steamed sea urchin eggs different names.
For example, what can you name a sea urchin steamed with ten eggs?
Mom, let’s call her the lone hero.
Laura, that’s great. How about steaming ten sea urchins with one egg?
Mom thought for a while and said, it can be called Dandan’s Worry Sang Joke, published in June and July.
Laura, Mom, if you have nothing to do, don’t go to Mizuki.
joke part 6
to be continued
Little friend’s nickname
by unforgiven
My son is almost one year old
His grandma would take her out to play with the children in the community every day
One day I came back and said, grandma said
There is a little boy in the community who is very beautiful. His name is Lai Wang.
The two of us whispered...
Today’s parents are really returning to their original nature.
Given such a rustic name...
One day we went out to play by ourselves and met a child from Laiwang.
Only then did I find out someone’s nickname
Levin
By the way, my mother is really an invincible translator.
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 7
to be continued
Yesterday I met a beautiful woman on my way home by taxi.
by jsier
Yesterday, on the way home from a taxi, I met a beautiful woman blocking the car.
All kinds of beautiful figures, all kinds of good ones
The driver decisively slowed down...
I think it would be nice to be able to take a beautiful woman like this with me.
I didn't expect that beast to say that he doesn't want your money for getting off the bus...
I fuck
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 8
to be continued
Coders short jokes
by cooooldog
A coder complained that
It’s too hard to work in IT
What should I do if I want to change a line?
Friend replied...
Hit Enter
. .
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 9
to be continued
Posted by a neighbor
by tianland
A couple came out of the canteen and got a bottle of drink.
I was about to buy a bottle to drink when I heard a woman calling a man from behind.
Hey, what does it mean to have another bottle on top?
The man didn’t look back. I don’t know.
So the woman threw the bottle cap on the ground...
When I saw this scene, I thought I met two idiots
After they walked away, I hurriedly ran to pick them up...
Blowing again and looking at the sun
As a result, the four characters above
Thanks for tasting
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 10
to be continued
What dreams has everyone had?
by at2011518
@LoveLomo had a very domineering dream last night
When I was sleeping, I dreamed that I was being chased by a group of big men.
After catching up, I beat the sack hard on the head.
Then I woke up immediately
Oh my gosh, I'm covered in cold sweat
Then go to sleep...
The climax is
After sleeping for a while, I saw the big man holding a sack and saying...
How dare you fucking come back?
As a result, I didn’t dare to sleep all night b
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 11
to be continued
The girl said, since I gave you the money, don’t worry about people anymore ZZ
by ailuguan
Just came out of the basement of Jianwai Soho
Found that I forgot my wallet
Unable to pay parking fee, stuck at basement exit
A kind-hearted girl in the car behind paid 18 yuan for my parking fee.
He also gave me the 32 yuan he got back.
If you go into the basement again later, you may not be able to meet me...
It really moved me
This is not the climax yet...
Later, I asked the girl to give me a phone number so that I could pay back the money.
The girl said, I gave you the money, so don’t worry about people anymore.
Are you thinking wrongly?
top ten
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 12
to be continued
You want youth and wool to use
byvooodooo
During the Chinese New Year, I taught my grandparents how to use computers.
I also applied for a QQ number for them
Yesterday I happened to catch a glimpse of the state of my grandma’s Q. .
Instantly petrified
When you don't travel, don't go on adventures, don't fall in love...
But a life I have never tried, hanging on QQ and browsing Weibo
Shopping on Taobao and doing things that I can do even at the age of 80
You want youth and wool to use
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 13
to be continued
My mother also has a venomous tongue Original
by SundayMore
Typhoon comes to Shenzhen again
I leaned on a small parasol
From the subway to your home
Most of the body is wet
When I walked in, I complained about my dad.
Dad, it’s raining so hard and you didn’t bring a bigger umbrella to pick me up...
Dad said coldly
If you are your age, I won’t be the one to pick you up! . . .
!
I was shot again before I could react.
My mother gave me another refill
Alas, you call this a lack of support!
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 14
to be continued
Cupping
by stoney
I went for cupping the night before yesterday
When it's over, there are many big dots on my back.
When leaving, the doctor casually said...
It's going to be very busy going back now, right?
I said it's okay, I'll fly...
She was stunned for a moment and said what?
I said I am the seven-star ladybug
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 15
to be continued
Master Bao is very busy
byyutourr
Zhan Zhao tells Ma Han his heroic story
That day I visited Xiaoyao Tower and obtained important information.
But he hit the trap by mistake and was seriously injured.
I forced myself to take a deep breath to support myself until I reached Kaifeng Mansion, when suddenly everything went dark...
Mahan asked with concern, "You fainted?"
Zhan Zhao, no, Master Bao has come out...
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 16
to be continued
Master Bao is very busy
byyutourr
Mom, are there ghosts in this world?
Silly boy, of course not
But there is a ball of fire floating in the street.
That's a will-o'-the-wisp, when phosphorus in the body interacts with water or alkali after death...
Caused by spontaneous combustion of phosphine
But behind there is a set of clothes floating around with the fire...
Let me take a look. That's Mr. Bao patrolling the night with a lantern.
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 17
to be continued
Master Bao is very busy
byyutourr
Late at night, Wu Shu ambushed Mr. Bao on the road and wanted to take him away.
The river rat Jiang Ping stood at the highest point, giving orders and indicating Master Bao's position.
The one in official uniform is Mr. Bao
The person taking off his official uniform is Mr. Bao...
Emma, Mr. Bao is missing.
. .
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 18
to be continued
got the wrong person
byyutourr
Lu Xun is walking on the road
Suddenly I heard someone calling Brother Xun
Looking back, I saw a beautiful boy with red lips and white teeth.
Lu Xun asked
Who are you . .
The boy said
Brother Xun, you forgot that golden full moon...
Green watermelon field steel fork
Is there a boy with a silver necklace?
Lu Xun grabbed him excitedly
Runtu, you are Runtu
No, I am Yu
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 19
to be continued
jokes
by BearPapa
When I was a kid, there were many stalls selling air guns and balloons in my hometown.
Bosses are very perverted
Because every time I pass by, they will tentatively ask me
Boy, would you like a shot?
. .
Why are there more and more gays nowadays?
Because the hard reality makes us all have a glass heart...
A group of geese flying south
After a while, they formed the character "閷"
After a while, they formed the character "鸊"
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 20
to be continued
jokes
by BearPapa
waiter get me a Van Church Jordan
Sir, can you speak Chinese?
Give me some tomato scrambled eggs
you raise me up. .
As oil prices rise, rice prices also rise
. .
Do you think it's easy for me? Level 4 complained.
Level 6 shrugged and replied, "Don't mention it. I'm sad too."
Joke June and July combined issue
joke part 21
to be continued
jokes
by BearPapa
You understand?
Yes!
Is your lower body erect?
Yes
. .
I usually wake up early.
Usually I get up because I'm hungry...
Guo Jingming’s company perfectly explains the wooden barrel theory
The shortest one decides everything
Cherish the girls around you who have a low smile point.
I heard that the Western Zhou Dynasty was destroyed because of a woman who laughed too much. Joke June and July joint issue
joke part 22
to be continued
The scent of locust trees comes all the way
by amosryan
On the way to work, we have to pass through an alley.
There are locust trees on both sides of the road
Now is the time when the locust flowers are blooming
It’s so beautiful that it’s full of flowers
I'm in a good mood today. I got off the train two stops early.
The fallen flowers are colorful under the shade of the lush trees. It feels very good.
Arrive at work and meet my colleagues...
I chatted with them stupidly
They were cheerful...
When I saw the leader, I greeted him stupidly.
He is cheerful
I went to the bathroom in the morning and accidentally glanced at the mirror.
Stunned
A head full of little white flowers
Joke looks like a bride who has just been showered with flowers, June and July issue
They are all bad, right?
small dark room
to be continued
Chief author
joke DK72
" XHW Baist
mmjoke ap9
. . wall painter halleyhit
. .
Joke June and July combined issue
Back cover I believe in love again
end