Sender: ahb ahb Title: [Monthly] The August issue of climbing up step by step Sending station: Shuimu Community Thu Sep 20 14:08:30 2012 Source: 180.210.239.69 Welcome to Joke’s August monthly issue Press <space> to enjoy slowly <space> . . . . . . . . . . E. . .﹒ . .﹒ K. . . ﹒ . . Joke August Monthly . . ﹒ O . . . Cover I want to climb up step by step . . . J﹒ . . <space> IQ. This is a problem that can only be solved by IQ. http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 7 1 Fukuhara Ai’s interview made me laugh to death http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 7 2 Cheapest game ever http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 7 3 [PIC]Who designs these outrageous dog costumes? http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 7 6 http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 7 7 You made me laugh. You are such an unkind brother. http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 7 8 At first glance, it looks like a child who was injured by glass. Reposted http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 7 12 My wife was on a business trip. When she arrived at the hotel, she took photos to report that she was safe. I felt relieved. http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 7 13 Changed the picture http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 7 14 http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 7 15 MMJoke <space> The bitter Japanese delegation and the amazing comments on Weibo byBenetanash @YouTube Featured Heard The most miserable delegation in this opening ceremony is Japan They only walked half a circle around the field The staff member who guided me took the wrong path. We took the whole group to the exit and walked out of the scene. Once you go out, you can never come back in. so When delegations from all over the world were watching the Chrysanthemum Terrace being lit, The entire Japanese delegation They are all thinking about life on the sidelines @飞达人的mac版: The child leading the way is called Wang Erxiao Joke 1 <space> tacit understanding by hgoldfish It rained very heavily here yesterday. I stood on the roadside and wanted to take a TAXI Just when I was looking around The child is probably wet Lift up my ankle-length skirt and get in to take shelter from the rain The child's father saw the child crawling under my skirt While saying sorry At the same time, he lifted up my skirt and pulled out his child. The whole process moves smoothly and naturally Damn, it couldn’t have been agreed upon, right? Joke 2 <space> My brother wants to get fucked!! Original by SundayMore I complained to my cousin on QQ Your uncle and aunt are always forcing me to get married quickly. I almost collapsed My brother wants to say, sister, are they taking revenge on you for forcing them? I was stunned for 3 seconds. I understand. !! I can only let my father whip him for this disrespectful thing. ps: Telling a joke is too testing. Isn't the title "brother" the complete collection of "brother", "cousin" and "cousin"? Don’t only children call all their cousins ​​younger brothers? I fainted Joke 3 <space> The child shouted to the valley: Hello by orz @Get out of my bathroom The child shouted to the valley: Hello There were waves of hello coming from all directions. The child was surprised. Who are you? valley who are you child tell me valley tell me Children Authentic Good Herbal Tea Authentic Good Sound Welcome to Jiaduobao, a leading herbal tea brand The Jiaduobao Herbal Tea China Good Voice named for you Drink Qili to gain strength Wahaha Qili mental health products support China’s good voice Valley you numb Joke 4 <space> . Original master among the people ^ by SHENOK I just talked to a graduating student of clinical medicine Eating at a small restaurant outside the hospital where the internship is located A diner pulled out a strange portable medical device I don’t know the medical student In doubt But I heard that someone was holding a rag and his face was covered with dust. The waiter dressed as a migrant worker stopped drinking Don’t take insulin yet There are so many people today that we may not be able to serve food in 15 minutes If you take a nap for a while now, we will not be responsible for your hypoglycemia. I admire him and he is ashamed Joke 5 <space> Taoer's Admission Record, Zhongguancun Fourth Primary School Interview Record by garffey Original address http: bbs.eduu.com thread 356189 1 1.html Preparation Received information from Dudu’s mom. Interview on Dudu on the 13th. Test questions include skipping rope and talking by looking at pictures It’s just that the content is really depressing. Taoer’s weakness is skipping. I have never practiced speaking by looking at pictures. 1. Preparation for skipping rope I urgently teach you, baby, if you jump twice when skipping rope, it will be bad. Don't look at the teacher and keep dancing. Tao'er, it would be bad if I danced two more times. I, it’s okay. You widen your eyes and blink twice to pretend to be cute. Teacher, I didn’t perform well today. I can usually dance more than 100 times. Tao'er quit. I won't lie. I said the shoes don't fit your feet. Okay. After formulating the strategy, let Taoer try jumping a few times. Still able to jump 60 Joke 6 <space> 二 看图说话准备 从网上迅速找了小学的看图说话 先挑幅最简单的 公园里 孩子在摘花 妈妈在制止 桃儿看了一眼 说 不要摘花 这也太言简意赅了 但我硬是端出一脸惊喜 宝贝儿啊 你太天才了 一语中的 立刻就高度总结了这幅图想表达的中心意思呀 我的天哪 是不是幼儿园老师天天训练你们看图说话啊 桃儿 没有练过 不过我喜欢看图说话 妈妈你再给我找多几幅图 行了 信心建立了 我又花20分钟逐步引导桃儿把图里出现的内容都描述出来 并加上少许拓展 在我疯狂的赞美炮弹袭击下 一个小时的功夫 桃儿可以声情并茂地从人物讲到动物讲到景色讲到环境 讲到动作讲到表情讲到心情了 突击速成基本成功 Joke 7 <space> 三 其他场景准备 吸收九一的教训 我郑重交代了自己和爸爸的职业 并将其浓缩在四个字以内 确保桃儿不忘 同时扩展了家庭住址 我 宝贝儿 老师要是问你住哪里 怎么说呀 桃儿 北医三院对面 我虚汗 别 那是对出租车司机说的 你要说 学院路40号 这听着多么书香多么门第呀 考场纪实 6月14日 阳光明媚 一家人迤逦南行 进了中关村四小 家长面试10分钟 孩子面试20分钟 面试完毕后 我发现自己在道具准备方面犯了极其严重的错误 该带的没带 小提琴 不该带的带了 她爹桃树 四小给我的感觉不错 门卫很和蔼 接待的都是男老师 还都很帅 其中一位皮肤微黑头发微卷的更是极品 很阳光很灿烂很英俊 Joke 8 我被桃树怨恨地掐了好几把才回神 <space> 一 家长面试 我和桃树走进家长面试教室 3个老师左右 面试我们的是一位比较成熟的男老师 然而 比较成熟同时意味着比较狡猾 我心里咯噔一下 坏了 忘记问嘟妈家长考什么了 老师查过户口 学历 工作证明后 和蔼地问 你们为什么选择四小呢 你知道我们的教学理念是什么吗 我不知道 不过这并不妨碍我侃侃而谈 侃学校硬件 侃朋友口碑 侃老师素质 真的很帅 侃学生风貌 只是刻意绕过了教学理念 最后一句出了问题 四小具有国际化办学眼光 与其他国家交换学生 对孩子的视野 能力 素质都极具好处 老师微笑 您说的这些 我们还没有 桃树头低下去了 我脸色不变 大手一挥 我了解四小是有走国际化路线的想法的 等我的孩子进来了 就都有了 Joke 9 <space> 老师继续 你能用几个词概括一下孩子的优点吗 我斟酌一下 反正孩子的面试官是别的老师 我虚构了一个招老师喜欢的学生形象 总结 漂亮 乖巧 勤奋 认真 多才多艺 老师 那你觉得你的孩子有什么缺点呢 这可太多了 脾气大 记性差 学习磨磨蹭蹭 吃饭挑三拣四 关键时刻经常掉链子 我狠狠咬了一下舌尖 双目泛出水光 我们孩子 就是有点儿胆小 老师 哦 那作为家长你们怎么克服这个问题呢 我等的就是这句话 这也是我做面试官的时候常用的招数 我们会多给她安排一些社会活动 增加见识 锻炼胆量 包括经过多层选拔成为小鬼当佳的签约模特 参与多支广告拍摄 多次参加仁爱慈善基金会的慈善活动 并接受媒体采访balabalabala 我太喜欢这个多字了 不具体 没数量 但是有事实基础 Joke 10 <space> 老师 除了幼儿园的课程 你还给她报过什么课外班吗 强项来了 哦 两年前开始报班 包括绘画 舞蹈 钢琴 小提琴 英语 数学 轮滑 游泳 老师有点儿傻 啊 这么多 一直没间断吗 能上得过来吗 我 没有间断 一直在上的 虽然学得多 但是我们从不给孩子压力 只是希望她能多多接触各种技艺 培养对生活的热情及健康的情趣 所以您看 我从来没让孩子考级 当然 这并不妨碍孩子获得全国性钢琴比赛北京赛区的二等奖 别的我也就不一一列举了 成功解释了家长贪多嚼不烂 丫头没有硬证书的明显缺陷 还重点指出了丫头唯一成绩 隐喻还有N多成绩 桃树事后很敬畏地对我说 你可真能掰 Joke 11 <space> 此时 餐具出现了 一直一言不发的桃树突然张嘴拆台 轮滑我们没有一直上 上了一段 我飞过去两记眼刀 您老人家可以不帮忙 但是别扯后腿呀 脑子可以没货 但是别进水呀 我一口打断 从容地说 孩子一直在幼儿园额外报着轮滑班呢 学费是我交的 你可能没在意 下周六不是还要代表幼儿园参加轮滑比赛吗 趁机再甩出一个亮点 老师 爸爸妈妈平时工作是不是都很忙呀 我小算盘一划拉 不能说都忙 谁管孩子 也不能说都不忙 谁挣学费 于是谨慎回答 爸爸比较忙 我还好 平时的教育也是我跟得比较多 但是爸爸对孩子的教育一直非常配合 我们绝不在孩子面前发生争执 有不同意见都会私下沟通 当然 孩子入学后 我们也会坚持和老师统一教育要求的 Joke 12 <space> 老师 不知道家长是不是愿意参加学校组织的一些活动 例如家长委员会 我听出味道了 抢答 毫无问题 我个人在多个社会组织担任重要职位 曾连续两年获得新浪房产 新浪亲子论坛的十佳版主 隐喻我钱多房子多重视教育 当然 仅仅是隐喻 同时我还担任一个著名女性团体的领导职务 热衷公益 为推动就业 促进社会和经济进步做出过重要贡献 就是伙着一群败妈抢衣服 玩团购 促进商品流通 Joke 13 <space> 二 孩子面试 家长面试完毕 桃儿比我们多面了10分钟 高高兴兴出来了 通报信息 跳绳跳了10几个 老师说行了不用再跳了 停下 单脚蹦 双脚蹦都做了做 看图说话果然有考到 有个看图数数的题 桃儿总结 纸上都是对勾 我松了口气 没问爸爸妈妈干什么的是吧 桃儿 没问 也没问咱们家住哪儿 不过我主动说了 我扶住桃树 你说啥 桃儿 我说我家住北医三院40号 这不是病房么 Joke 14 <space> 不知道这事儿写出来还好不好玩 by nighost 昨日打完球 开车出停车场 一边开一边用车载蓝牙跟老婆打电话 快到出口的时候我跟老婆说我要交费了 先不要说话 于是很安静 交卡 刷卡 保安说 一共十八 然后电话那头的老婆听见了 吼了一声 怎么这么贵 于是保安的表情很可爱 惊吓 惊讶 好奇 我实在是不知道怎么描述他当时的表情 找完钱走的时候 那哥们来了一句 这车还是个女滴 Joke 15 <space> Lin Yutang and Liao Cuifeng burned their marriage certificate with a match by Radwanska @yelumine It is said that Lin Yutang and Liao Cuifeng discussed it after their marriage Marriage certificate is only valid in case of divorce Burn it. You won't need it in the future. A match burned the marriage certificate From then on, the two of them stayed together for a lifetime* My wife and I were moved to tears after reading this story* I also burned our marriage certificate on impulse. paralysis My son hasn’t registered a registered permanent residence yet. Joke 16 <space> When I went to buy fruit, I heard the fruit seller scolding her son. by tdat Go to the student street of the school to buy fruit. There are several fruit shops connected together. I don’t know which one to go to. Liz was picking apples in a store. I heard the aunt at the fruit shop opposite scolding her son. The street is very narrow and the two stores are very close to each other. His son seems to be in junior high school or high school, a young young lady. But not too small. Keep your head down. Feeling aggrieved like a little daughter-in-law who has done something wrong Auntie, do you know why no one comes to our store to buy fruit? Shota shook his head Auntie, why did I let you look at the store for a while? Not many people came to buy. Shota remained silent Auntie, someone just came and left Shota continued to remain silent Auntie, why do you call every student Sister? Sister, what do you want? Who is willing to buy your fruit? Joke 17 <space> Shota said silently, otherwise what would it be called? Auntie, of course I call you Beauty. Do you want to cut the watermelon for you? If it doesn't work, you can't call me eldest sister either. Then I saw how pitiful and innocent the young lady was being scolded. I moved from here to his house to take care of his business. I picked some apples and half a watermelon Xiao Zhengtai said to me with a red face Beauty, do you want to peel it? I said cut Then Xiaozhengtai was peeling the skin very seriously. When you're done, hand it to me, sister, your watermelon Then I heard the word "eldest sister" and of course I didn't mind at all. Just thinking about the way his mother scolded him just now makes me feel so funny I just laughed at him. I really thought it was funny. Then, then, the little shot burst out crying. He cried while holding a watermelon knife Then everyone in the street is looking at me Joke 18 <space> silence by guestking I was chatting with my girlfriend two days ago She took the risk and it is said that xxx is very awesome oo I taught her to use civilized language Talking about such rude words You can learn from TV programs and use silence instead. So she said that sentence again xxx is awesome Joke 19 <space> Cried by tangzx Last night I was alone in the office and selected a bunch of computer accessories. Just watch a few fresh videos online I was actually moved by a short video that I can’t remember the name of but the plot. I can’t say that it’s shocking or sad. Anyway, even though I don’t want to admit it, I cried To use a rather vulgar expression, it was just a few tears running down my face. Of course, this is not a point. I feel quite embarrassed. Of course, I have nothing to do with being so shameless. Considering that I have to explain my work to my boss the next day, I’d better prepare the procedures. I slid the mouse lightly to open VS and held down F5. During this long compilation moment, I stared at the screen blankly I’m thinking about whether the next dog I’ll get will be called Cantaloupe or Popcorn. When this tangled issue A friend ran over to me. He was slightly stunned at first. Then I heard the sentence that broke the moral code of the entire office. Heartbreaking Scream Joke 20 Damn it, brother, you actually made me cry while writing MFC <space> Hahaha I just saw it on NetEase by czqs2000 A colleague got under the table and screamed after a while. It's over. I pressed the wrong button. I pressed the main switch on all the computer power strips Everyone is surprised But our computers are still on Colleagues’ bitter voices came from under the table Before I even raised my hand, the whole office was silent for two seconds. Shut down Quick shutdown save Hold on, hold on Joke 21 <space> cotangent by hmp A boy named Zheng Xian Married a girl named Yu Xian Later they had a child cos α called cotangent sin α People ask why the child takes his mother’s surname α Two people said This is related to the situation of the day Joke 22 <space> Help iceland news by hemlock ㄟ A tour group near the Eldgjá volcano reported a Height 160 cm wearing dark clothes Asian women fluent in English Missing. Search and rescue operations were conducted for several days but no one was found. result She changed her clothes during the gathering Then no one in the car recognized them She herself also participated in search and rescue activities After searching for two days, I realized that I seemed to be looking for myself. http: ww3.sinaimg.cn large 53737d1bjw1dwfvcyybq6j.jpg Joke 23 <space> Lunch Ecstasy by amosryan At noon, I was eating pumpkin soup on the basement floor of Hualian With my mind wandering and a frustrated look on my face, I was thinking about what the name of that aunt should be. Only a surging sound was heard I thought about it and looked down. There was a drink lying on the ground. The end of the fan-shaped splashing area is full of cappuccino-like foam on my trouser legs. An aunt stood next to her and kept apologizing. 5555 Auntie, your pick-up skills are too low, you might as well give me a drink. For example, Jiang Zi, a strong man, must be feeling depressed when he sees your sad face. How about I buy you a cup of ecstasy juice? I said twice that it was okay and I continued to work hard. After a while, Aunt B came over to join Aunt A just now. Auntie A started to say, "Oh, I just wanted to change seats." Who would have thought that the plate and cup would fall down as soon as I lifted it? blablabla Alas, I always spill things. Last time I spilled a bowl of noodles. I imagined a head full of steaming noodles and vegetables with a poached egg. Little Black Room 1 He quickly ran away with the last half of the tortilla in his mouth. <space> #小E#小E goes up the escalator End of season clearance by amosryan Now this girl's skirt is really short. It’s just the inclination of the escalator Little E sighed helplessly If only I were as tall as Xiaosi Little black room 2 <END> Chief author Joke ahb Little black room FZD MMJoke ap9 wall painter halleyhit Joke August Monthly Back cover MM should be careful when climbing stairs <END> Seeing me means you pressed <space> too much Don't be so anxious to read the September monthly issue.