发信人: biancr 吃颗话梅变超人 , 信区: Joke 标 题: 雷声隆隆的六月刊 发信站: 水木社区 Fri Jul 18 09:05:42 2008 , 站内 . . 雷 . 声 . . . 隆 隆 . 的 字 六 . 第 月 . 刊 潴 . . 橥 . . 号 . . . 目录 小黑屋推荐 MMjoke推荐 精品转载 优秀原创 浮尸事件 xx 小黑屋推荐 一 绊倒书场 mmzt过关斩将 by NeverKnow 话说mmzt只带一猪一卒 奉命押着两名重犯赶往小黑屋 路过卢沟桥 见前方一阵尘土飞扬 mmzt勒住坐骑 然后让两个重犯往一旁蹲下 狱卒在 身后看着 mmzt勒猪横刀往对面观瞧 只见桥上一车缓缓开来 此车棚高轮 阔 车头插着一杆狮子旗 车身咖啡色 上深深刻着一个ID 这ID并不面熟 却也不像马甲 车尾并没架水枪 mmzt往前一催猪 那车轿厢微震 对 面可是mmzt 不错 正是某某 mmzt 我是水车狮咖啡 请问您意 欲何所啊 我要护送两个重犯到黑屋服刑 请让开一条道路 mmzt 我奉星河之命在此挖坑设障 以保小黑屋侧翼安全 您既然要去黑屋 请 您拿来 不知你要何物 请您拿原创来 mmzt皱了皱眉 暗忖道 我离开久客的时候太过匆忙 没跟酱哥要原创 回转身来召唤狱卒 附耳言道 你赶快想个出来 一定要有创意 狱卒想了半天 突然受这桥的启发 上前去讲了那个用乳字造句的笑话 竟惹得狮咖啡哈哈大笑 娃娃 爷爷听这个笑话的时候你还没打娘胎里 出来呢 mmzt气往上撞 丹田提气 胯下这匹乳猪往前一蹿 大刀搂头盖 顶 就下来了 狮咖啡哪敢招架 忙提倒档后退 怎奈退至桥边偏偏赶上红 01 灯 mmzt进步挥刀 大刀由打底下 大斜茬儿 狮咖啡都来不及躲闪 就被 当场劈翻 桥下水车可都吓傻了 水枪失控哗啦啦水流一地 mmzt把刀一举 尔等且住 桥下水车全不敢动了 zt饶命 mmzt右手控刀 左手 一指 你们也看见了 狮咖啡不让我过桥 还口出狂言 我才把他劈翻在 地 我跟他远日无冤 近日无仇 只因为他跟我要原创 你们也知道 这里 已经很久没有原创了 某实在出于无奈 请你们禀报酱哥 替我说明缘由 你们立刻挖坑把狮咖啡埋了 好让我安心 是 zt放心 我们一定把坑 填好 这样 一行人过了桥 mmzt押着保着两个重犯继续往前走 心事重重 此事绝非偶然 莫非真 是星河暗中指使 书说简短 众人打尖住店吃饭 咱们就不细表了 mmzt别 无道路可走 要去小黑屋 还得必须经过一处险要关口 就是凸凹山 守山 的将领叫胡麟 胡麟已然得到消息 立刻召集铁锹沙发板凳板砖以及水桶 众位 现在mmzt奔咱们凸凹山来了 此zt武艺高强 不可一世 可他没有 原创 咱们是放还是不放呢 胡麟身旁有个猛将叫添牙 此人擅使典故 xe娴熟 笑点很高 而且会抢整 添牙说 胡大人 没有原创 您要把他 放过去 就是违反星河的将令 狮咖啡都不敢放他 您还要不要这条命了 添牙将军 可咱们打不过他啊 守将之责 大人 等mmzt来了 您 令将士们挖坑灌水 令其知难而退 如果伊不回去 我就用x 您的土偶阵 02 十分高明 暗中布上一阵 让他防备我x 防备不了您的偶 他要防您的偶 就顾不了我的x 看mmzt还不束手就擒 好 就按你这条计策办 胡麟立刻布置下去 山头架上水车 挖坑布阵 然后脱去马甲 带着添牙下 山相迎 这时mmzt一行已然到了凸凹山脚 抬头一看 若干水车分左右 当中一 位头戴旧帽 身穿旧袍 腰横旧带 足蹬旧靴 手中没拿兵刃 mmzt往前一 带猪 胡麟抱拳拱手 请问前边是mmzt吗 我乃凸凹山守将胡麟 迎接来 迟 在猪前领罪 mmzt是个新警察 听胡麟一说这话 心就稍微放下了 答礼相还 胡将军 正是某某 奉酱哥之命押重犯入牢 还请让我过去 胡麟微微一笑 mmzt 请问您有原创吗 酱哥给您过山的墨文了吗 胡将军 酱哥并没给我墨文 可你也要让我过山 mmzt 那酱哥怪罪 下来 我如何担待 将军 难道你不知道我卢沟桥刀斩狮咖啡吗 那 意思 狮咖啡出言不逊 我已经把他杀了 你到底放不放我过去 胡麟还没 说话呢 添牙催猪舞着粪叉直奔过来 mmzt 纵使胡大人放你过去 我也 不能放你过关 我有守将之责 你看叉 mmzt拿刀往出一磕 添牙粪叉已 被弹开 奔mmzt左肋来了 mmzt大刀往下一砸 二猪盘桓 两个人杀在一处 这时胡麟就在阵中沉腰拔背 吐呐蓄劲 等二猪错镫mmzt离自己近的时候 胡麟一张口 哧 土偶阵就奔mmzt来了 03 添牙听见声响 知道胡麟施阵了 mmzt眼观六路 耳听八方 跟添牙动 着手 突然听见声响 顺声音一看 有人借机暗算 这时添牙借机会一阵猛 攻 添牙可错了 你跟谁动手呢 这可不是一般之辈 是斩鱼头 打豆豆 一笑摄群雄的新扎师妹啊 mmzt在猪上往回一转身 大刀平着往外一推 就 奔添牙的腰来了 添牙粪叉往下压 他万没想到mmzt往下一塌腰 胯下猪往 前一蹿 这口大刀就到了 噗 添牙腰断两截 这时候 土偶阵到了 胡麟 的阵法确实高 他知道mmzt往回圈猪 土偶阵就奔着他这个方向来了 mmzt 虽然把添牙砍了 往起一直身 呯 一支土偶正拍在mmzt肩头上 mmzt气坏 了 看胡麟口里念念有词呢 心说 好你个胡麟 都是你造的孽 mmzt一拨 猪 手举大刀 你拿命来 猪到 刀也就到了 胡麟想跑 那哪儿快得 过这口刀 大刀往下一劈 把胡麟劈为两半 然后伸手把土偶捏在手里 瞬 时间尘土飞扬 mmzt赶紧命人撒水止住扬尘 诸位水车 你们谁也别轻举 妄动 谁敢嚣张 眨眼间刀劈两个水车 大家都让开道路 mmzt 请饶 命 这并不是我要杀胡麟 添牙 是他们要阻止我上山 暗布妖阵 你 们替我禀明酱哥 现在都去把坑填了 来呀 前进 mmzt押着两名重犯又 过了凸凹山 这正是 黑屋路途远 更有强敌出 一刀斩三将 众猪谁不服 mmzt连 砍了三个水车 心里也不是十分痛快 心里想 夜里又要做恶梦了 众位看 官 预知后事如何 咱们下回分解 04 小黑屋推荐 二 造句 题目 用怀旧 怀春 怀孕 怀才 怀疑 怀恨造句 Dio 黛玉初进荣国府 怀才 秦钟得趣馒头庵 怀春 凤姐午休得宫花 怀孕 王氏抄检大观园 怀疑 宝玉空作芙蓉诔 怀旧 曹公泪尽西山陲 怀恨 mmzt mmzt初进粥客版 怀才 豆豆得趣小黑屋 怀春 星河午休得灵感 怀孕 笨九引刀屠小新 怀疑 大网空叹人丁稀 怀旧 鱼头错过黑屋水 怀恨 05 biancr 怀才的豆豆怀疑怀春的mmzt怀孕从而怀恨 Dio 俏貂蝉 见温侯 怀春心喜 忠王允 怀汉室 连环有计 董太师 凤仪亭 掷戟怀疑 奸邪诛 蝉有孕 两两分离 这个纯属8g哈 跨赤兔 走天下 怀才不遇 白门楼 终殒命 此恨无期 bein9 在Joke有个怀孕的猪头叫豆豆 可是一直当不上正猪头 颇有些怀才不遇的 感慨 不免对正猪头有些怀恨 渐渐开始怀疑自己怀春的岁月里拒绝众多站 务gg的最求是否是明智的 Dio 中国队终于落选 怀旧的老球迷一声叹息 怀春的少女失望而返 怀孕的 陆某被曝到媒体 理智的球迷开始怀疑 激动的球迷已在怀恨 只有球员 们做出怀才不遇的样子 06 slowboywyf 一代名帅彭德怀旧时也曾出身落魄 受尽欺凌 但是他从不屈服 一直坚持 和命运抗争 直到革命的号角吹响 他终于感怀春天即将到来 这样博大的 胸怀孕育了他坚韧的性格和远大的理想 成年后 他心怀才有所用的信念毅 然投身革命 但是 由于他的个性过于直率 得罪了很多人 导致领导人对 他耿耿于怀疑心他拥兵自重 在文革中最终彭帅郁郁而死 人们感念彭帅的 功绩 不断的自发缅怀恨不能令他死而复生 人民的感情令人唏嘘不已 aotian 巨鸟入怀孕大贤 殷灭周兴百战连 秦惠羁怀春光逝 楚怀恨归秋色残 立怀疑沛新王怒 破誓诛怀旧将寒 wuxing 齐王空怀才八斗 命丧妇人指掌间 怀旧 曾怀春 不幸怀孕 还不曾怀抱 却只剩下怀恨 怎样才可以怀念 不再彼此互相怀疑 07 MMjoke推荐 [pic] I was almost scared to death when I came home last night zz by:marcia http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 1001 [PIC]Who said there are no floating corpses in MMjoke by:icefray http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 1000 [PIC] Can Beijing find all 26 letters? Reposted by:Xcup http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 993 [PIC]The longest car in history was found under my house this morning? by:Microsofter http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 992 [PIC]What a cat looks like after taking a bath zz by:casssie http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 995 [pic]Children’s costumes that will make your kids hate you foreverzz by:NeverKnow http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 994 08 [PIC] Send something reposted by:bydt http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 999 09 There are many reprints on Joke There are a lot of good things in the reprint Good things should be included in the monthly magazine 10 The consequences of pretending to be dead by liula zzby xlai I've been raising my baby alone for the past two days, and she's particularly clingy to me in the evening. Yesterday, when I was making dinner, she tried to rush into the kitchen. When I closed the door, she was able to open it. She was outside. Crying sadly So I told her how can I cook if you are making such a fuss? We will both starve to death. Then I poured pretending to be dead The villain looked at me in confusion and then lay down. I thought she was scared. Unexpectedly, she lay down and kowtowed to me twice. It makes me so angry. You are so serious about pretending to be dead. I just don’t know who she learned it from 11 Türkiye will definitely beat Germany tonight by Hikki zzby che60 Because we shout Tuobude every day 12 Re: Could you please help me comment on my Shanxi tour plan by seasoner zzby moqi Someone visited Hengshan and came to a certain place. He saw a large plaque in front of the door. The Hengshan sect was very excited. He came closer and took a closer look at the bottom. There is also the word "place" below. 13 If you reprint it, it will inevitably become old. I want to shout but I'm afraid of being chopped. Learn from these two buddies. 14 Re: Who is the smartest physicist by totowo In the second round, Einstein opened his eyes and found Volt riding on Ampere's head, making a V-sign. Einstein learned his lesson and said, I understand. Yours is 2 euros. Mentioned in someone's masterpiece: : A group of great scientists played hide-and-seek in heaven after death. It was Einstein’s turn to catch people. He counted to 100. I opened my eyes and saw that everyone was hiding. Only Newton was still standing there. : Einstein walked over and said, "Newton, I got you." : Newton "No you didn't catch Newton" : Einstein "Who are you if you are not Newton?" : Newton "Look what's under my feet" : Einstein looked down and saw Newton standing on a square floor tile with a length and width of one meter. He was confused. : Newton "This is a square meter of one square meter under my feet. When I stand on it, it is Newton square meters. So So what you grasp is not Newton, what you grasp is Pascal." : Pascal cried 15 Re: Is this old wine barrel by slowboywyf Wang created an original joke and posted it on the joke board. On the first day, only 4 people responded. He was very angry and changed the title. It was "original". The next day, there were only 3 people re-reprinting it. He was even more angry and changed the title to "Excellent original and super funny". On the third day, there was only one person. Someone said to him, "Idiot, wouldn't you change the title to this old one?" , let’s see if anyone can re.” Wang thought this was a good idea and did it. As a result, on the fourth day, re was all in xhw. Mentioned in firsttime's masterpiece: : Wang bought a large barrel of wine and placed it outdoors. On the first day, the wine was 1 4 less. He was very angry and posted the words "No" on the barrel. "Stealing wine". The next day, there was 23 less wine. He was even more angry and put a sticker on the barrel saying "Those who steal wine will be killed without mercy". On the third day, the wine was Only 1 4. Someone said to him, "Idiot, you don't stick a urine bucket on the bucket to see who drinks secretly." Wang I thought this was a good idea and went ahead with it. On the fourth day, the bucket was full. 16 After all, Originality is the safest A must-have for coaxing girls when traveling at home No risk of becoming old 17 I was fooled by my daughter by czyanling I spend ten minutes with my daughter before she goes to bed Yesterday, my daughter held my hand and said, Dad, I saw that the muscles on the hands of those playing basketball are all lumpy. Blocky I quickly confessed that my father had just applied for a fitness card. In a few months, I will be able to do this. My daughter followed up and said That's actually quite disgusting. 18 Re: First line: A pig’s head is a pig by KOWCC The owner jumps to the main building 19 Mysophobic Wife Before Death by cybaby My wife has mild mysophobia Kitchen knives at home are divided into raw kitchen knives for cutting raw meat and cooked kitchen knives for cutting cooked food. The following analogy: lettuce board, cooked cutting board, raw chopsticks, cooked chopsticks, raw plate, cooked plate If you use it wrong, you will nag me. I really couldn’t bear it yesterday. I raised a kitchen knife and rushed towards my wife’s neck. on gestures My wife is on the line between life and death Pointing at the kitchen knife in my hand, I said, "You picked it up by mistake again. This is a cooked kitchen knife." ORZ 20 I am a zongzi by timely I am a zongzi I haven't seen the sun since I was born All the zongzi have never seen the sun. All the zongzi have seen the sun. They have all been eaten My body is wrapped in a layer of hard coir leaves. It is a wonderful existence, full of the breath of grass. I have never seen green grass, but the natural, earthy and fresh smell makes me feel When I saw the scene of life, it wrapped me tightly. The grains of rice in my body squirmed restlessly. It's like the thoughts of the New Age are eager to burst out, but they are bound, bound here. In a cage that I can't escape from, I feel like I'm about to rot, rotting in the smell of grass and earth. Just like all living things for thousands of years, it is our destiny to return to the essence of life. But it didn't last long. I felt like I was being picked up and dropped into a substance called H2O. Among liquids, the temperature of this liquid takes on the shape of a nearly exponential function under the energy supply of a heat source. The formula rises and stays at the boiling point. A large number of bubbles are generated in the liquid, forming a turbulent flow. Rice grains, soybeans, meat and other substances in the body that are mainly composed of starch and protein begin to develop. During rapid deterioration, the rice grain loses its primary hardness and its shear resistance decreases sharply, but its viscosity twenty one It rises rapidly. During this process, H2O liquid molecules are injected and an evacuation structure has been formed. The mixing of substances greatly increases the humidity and internal pressure. At the same time, the surrounding substances also undergo There is a certain softening, but the tensile strength does not change significantly, so the wrapping strength is still very high. The shape of the outside is maintained despite the high pressure inside. Only the inside appears in areas with poor sealing. Material spill trends It’s ripe. It turns out that it’s ripe. I thought to myself, feeling full of strength. At this time, there was news from outside. There was a noise, and a male voice said, "These rice dumplings are free." Then I felt like I was being After picking it up, a female voice immediately said, "Wow, it's really free. You're awesome. Boo!" I don't know what the last sound means. This has never happened in my life experience, but I know I'm about to see the light of day One hand held me tightly and began to fiddle with the rope tied to my body. I thought to myself. That's all, I'm afraid this time it will be lost in the hands of this thief. Unexpectedly, the man outside has been messing around for a long time, but he didn't I don’t know the slightest bit. I heard this person spit and curse, “Zhi Niang Zong, it’s so mature and it’s so hard to get it.” After struggling like this three times, an hour has passed. The man outside has no fighting spirit and just wants to catch up. Soon after I escaped, I could only smell the smell, and I went to look for the crooked neck tree, so I left here. Another hour has passed, I was still sitting there, waiting for my twenty two redemption. soon, I felt I was caught up, so I closed my eyes why I have eyes? , "It's time to see the sun, so happy!" But things are always oppsite. Two rows of teeth bite on me, the I hear a voice that maybe the most horrible voice in my life:"It's sooooooooooooooooooo hard!" twenty three Reminds me of taking medicine the year before last by holymos I had inflammation of my teeth the year before last. I went to the hospital and was prescribed some metronidazole. I've long heard that metronidazole has an irritating effect on the stomach. I have a bad stomach and I don’t dare to eat more every time I got the medicine that day, opened it and read the instructions. It said the adult dosage is 3 to 6 tablets per day. I thought I should eat less because I am underweight, so I poured three tablets and swallowed them. As soon as I finished eating, I noticed that there was a line at the bottom of the instructions to take it in three doses. twenty four Fighting for beauty by acidrainy A classmate looked at the girls around him in a certain class and sighed, "The girls in our department are just trying to be unique." No show of beauty 25 Then I’ll post my dad’s too by stoney I just told him about headhunting companies He said why are you talking to people from Zhutou Company? Then I will repost something I wrote during the Chinese New Year. My dad is very naughty 1 Just now, Henan Station was broadcasting the Liyuan Talent Show on TV. It was all about children singing. My mother was in the kitchen through the glass door. Cooking in the room, my dad said in a hurried tone, "Don't turn around, don't turn around, don't turn around, my mom is stupid." I was so nervous that I put down my work and stood there obediently and said, "What are you doing?" He said excitedly, how old is this opera doll? 2 My mother writes a blog, and my father gives her a gentle pat on the back and says, “Oh, my wife is so talented,” so I shout Hey, hey, pay attention to the impact. The baby is still here. My dad pretended to be shy and said, "That's sweet." sweet I'm sweating 27 3 So my dad’s mantra now is You are so talented It hurts your self-esteem too much 4 Someone my mother didn't want to receive called her and said she wanted to come and pay New Year's greetings to my two elders. My mother was answering the phone in the living room. The excuse is that our shopkeeper is not at home today. My dad was in the small bedroom and didn’t know whose phone number he had, so he quietly came over behind my mom and suddenly got close to me. Go to the phone and say loudly, "Ah, I'm always at home." 5 My mom went out tonight for something. As soon as she closed the door, my dad squatted down and stretched out his hand happily. Oh yeah and then make a mess in the house 6 He goes to play table tennis every morning for several hours and claims to be working, so he wants me. To get him some sports clothes, just say, "Smelly baby, bring me some work clothes." 7 My mother sent oil to a retired teacher upstairs on behalf of her employer. My father saw it and said, bring it and I will deliver it to you. It was strangely heavy. Then I went and came back with a heavy thank you gift. My mother said, go. What did they say at Lao Li's house? My dad was stunned and said, "Ah, Lao Li's house?" I sent him to Lao Liu's house and later he I actually went to Lao Liu's house to get the oil back. I sweat again and again. 28 train ticket by kid2626 Background: I discussed with my classmates to go to Shijiazhuang. The local train costs about 30 yuan, which takes four to five hours. The express train costs more than 40 yuan. Less than three hours, EMU 86, two hours I joked: How about we take the slow train to save money? My classmates said we don’t need that little money I said, let’s take the train The classmate thought for a while and said We don't lack that little time 29 Criteria for determining whether urban rail is crowded by YSU9527 First-level scattered compartment room Second level passengers are all full Level 3 men and women touching each other Level 4 thieves find it difficult to move Level 5 external force defecation Level 6 pregnant women fear premature birth A seventh-level girl adds a baby Level eight is rare in the world Level nine...look at Line 1 in the morning 30 I saw a crazy orz T-shirt today by LSAT Walking on campus, I met a foreigner wearing a black T-shirt. There are two couplets written in white official script on the front. Ordained by heaven, he will live forever I was sweating furiously, thinking that this was the first time I saw such a naughty person dare to print these eight words on a T-shirt. He's actually a foreigner As he passed by, he looked back It is clearly written on the back of the T-shirt "I am Heshi Bi" 31 Re: Wanteah 502 dripped on the laptop screen by cppgx Once upon a time, there was a girl who used egg wash to clean her hair. I felt sorry for the hot shower she took. 32 What is the abbreviation of smth by indian Junior sister is fine. Junior sister lies down. Junior sister is obedient. Junior sister is red. Junior sister screams in pain. Junior sister is paralyzed. Junior sister regrets Junior sister throws herself into river 33 By the way, collective joke creation is a good tradition Featured this month Floating corpses float Are you having fun today? 34 The first floating corpse Sender: miyami aquatic flower, message area: Joke Title: What should I do? I like pretending to be a corpse more and more. Sending site: Shuimu Community Wed Jun 25 00:29:15 2008 , within the site swim every day but No breaststroke Not freestyle No backstroke either Just lie on your back on the water and pretend to be a floating corpse Float, float, float, float, float, float, float, float Float from one end of the swimming pool to the other Then float back to the original end from the other end Like today, I went back and forth three times. The lifeguard kept watching me float all afternoon 35 The uncle and aunt were all still while floating by. Handsome guys don’t tease the beauties around them when they’re drifting by. When I was floating by, I heard my little friend who was practicing saying, "Mom, I want to be like that sister." After pretending to be a floating corpse, leave When I got ashore, I caught a glimpse of the handsome guys who had been swimming just now and started to drift. It's just that my hands and feet are still moving around, paddling 学的不像尸啊 后来 一群浮尸 发信人: FMCC FMCC 丰满的C Cup , 信区: Joke 标 题: 他妈的 这份工作没法干了了 明天就辞职 发信站: 水木社区 Wed Jun 25 09:59:21 2008 , 站内 本来觉得找一份游泳池救生员的工作会很轻松 今年不知道搞什么鬼 tmd整个游泳池的人都在装浮尸 36 来游泳一个个都不好好游泳了 不蛙泳不自由泳亦不仰泳 就仰着躺在水面上装浮尸 漂啊漂啊漂啊漂啊漂啊漂啊漂啊 从游泳池的一头 漂到另外一头 再从另外一头 漂回原来这头 我他妈紧张死了 不知道哪个是真的哪个是假的 都在漂 明天就辞职 累死我了 发信人: roseven 罗思文 科科我不是废物 , 信区: Joke 标 题: 经营娱乐场所要有头脑e 发信站: 水木社区 Wed Jun 25 10:31:38 2008 , 站内 我小舅子去年承包了一个游泳池 本来我想着游泳的人那么多 肯定赚嘛 可是他一直诉苦 说夏天的时候人多得跟饺子一样 池水一天就细菌超标了 上面罚款狠得不 行 挣的钱还不够交水费和罚款费 票价还不能涨 再涨 谁还来啊 37 而且 现在去游泳的都是小孩子 拿个什么学生月票年票的 哪有赚啊 小孩子消费力太低 泳池小卖部的生意也卖不起来 做生意难啊 后来我偶然上网看到说最稳定的情侣关系是sm狂和被sm狂之间的关系 我就想了 我们小工商业主 是不是也应该追求一下稳定的主顾关系呢 不要小孩子 要大人 不要吝啬鬼 要大把撒钱的 要走具有自己特色的经 营之路嘛 再后来我跟小舅子说了一下我的思路 今年他就整发了 先雇了几个美女在泳池里面当尸体 漂啊漂啊的 吸引了一大帮有恋尸癖虐尸癖分尸癖食尸癖的人 票价涨了几倍都赶不走这些wsn 每天也不下水 就在岸上流着哈喇子看尸 体 比水上芭蕾还吸引人 救生员的工钱也省了 全雇用有英雄救美嗜好的宅男 不倒收他们钱就算我们资本家仁慈了 还有些有cosplay欲的群众 也穿着各种各样的服装来我们泳池cosplay尸体 客观上也促进了本泳池的经济繁荣 还有的cosplay众 穿的是皇帝的新装 天呐 最后我把她们劝退了 38 毕竟咱们这里是高级娱乐场所 不是鸡鸭鱼肉店 菌群超标的池水也不用换了 那都是尸臭 尸臭啊 我们的特色 小舅子现在天天乐坏了 我又给他出了一主意 以后小卖部也别卖什么方便面潜望镜得了 卖什么我还没想好 但估计就是刀叉电锯烤肉架一类 科科 做生意就是要这样有头脑 发展出自己的特色来 机遇只留给有准备的人 发信人: ginyong 看上N81 , 信区: Joke 标 题: [Secondhand]转让二手浮尸鉴别杆 发信站: 水木社区 Wed Jun 25 11:13:39 2008 , 站内 99新,买的时候255,转让价250,谢绝小刀. 箱说全 这个是朋友从米国带回的新产品,长约5米,纳米技术,轻便无污染; 是泳池救生员辨别真假浮尸的必备之物;是智能机,有6大功能 39 1:辨别浮尸端带有10V电击功能,救生员可以不必每次用力的去捅浮尸,只需 按下旁边放电按钮,辨别杆前端就会释放出10V电流,如果是假的浮尸马上就 会大叫"XX你妈的,谁电我".由此可以马上分辨真假浮尸.前端可拆卸,可以 换装针刺等其他辨别设备. 另:前端可单独携带,当作mm出门防色狼的工具 2:手握的一端融合了最新MP3, 存储容量 256MB 接口类型 USB2.0 音乐格式 Mp3 WMA WMV ASF WAV 使用7号电池 让你工作音乐两不误,在辨别浮尸的同时享受音乐的熏陶.. 3:手持端安装全金属电子表,轻便时尚 原装日本机芯走时精准 长效SONY 纽扣电池支持3年供电.并提供闹铃,可以设定mp3中歌曲作为闹铃声音; 支 行关机闹钟 40 4:可伸缩,不用的时候可以收缩为长30CM的橡胶棒 带振动... 5:前端电击设备可用作手电,在夜深人静天黑巷深的地方,可以带来一丝光 亮; 6:前端自带摄像头功能,810万象素 3倍光学变焦 自动影像管理 剪贴簿 .当你碰到身材hot的mm gg时,可以在不知不觉情况下拍下她 他的玉照. 与 mp3共享存储空间 没有发票,清华校内交易,紫荆250,j同学,当面验货,出门不保; 发信人: OLDxOLD 真不是一般的OLD , 信区: Joke 标 题: 救生员的一天 发信站: 水木社区 Wed Jun 25 11:19:26 2008 , 站内 九点是我正常上班的时间 走进游泳馆 我被眼前的景象吓了一跳 kao 这水面上花花绿绿的都是什么 41 定睛一看 原来是粉红的衣衣 绿色的裤裤 雪白的肥腰 黝黑的彘肩 咳 还以为什么呢 原来又是装浮尸的啊 我缓缓走到池边 拿起扩音器 大家好 为了丰富大家的游泳业余生活 我给大家讲三个笑话吧 第一个是关于泳衣的 话说从前啊 咱们是扒开泳 衣看身体 现在咱们 十条浮尸微微动了动 隐隐有水泡冒出 嗨 原来是新来的 我心想 我清清嗓子继续 下面是第二个笑话 一女子下夜班 一男子尾随图谋不 轨 女子慎怕 路过坟地 水花惊起 又十条浮尸翻身怒吼道 你别逼我们说那三个字 继续 第三个笑话是我听一个mm说的 她姐姐去某个旅游区玩 在庙里许了三个 愿 忽一人大呼 吐偶得 一尸大喊 众人齐呼 俄而百千尸大喊 百千人 呼 中间骂声 笑声 吼声 百千齐作 又夹呛水咳嗽声 踩水哗哗声 耳 光声 呼救声 凡所应有 无所不有 虽人有百手 手有百指 不能指其一 端 人有百口 口有百舌 不能名其一处也 于是浮尸无不变色离池 脱帽 卸镜 两股战战 几欲先走 42 我轻轻关掉扩音器 微笑了 今天又将是清静的一天 发信人: ccip 影法 其实想注cip , 信区: Joke 标 题: 泳池的自白 发信站: 水木社区 Wed Jun 25 11:22:33 2008 , 站内 我是一个泳池 在我们建筑物家族里面 很多人都特别羡慕我 当然 浴缸除外 每次我显摆跟多少mm和sg亲密接触的时候 别人都一脸艳羡 浴缸总会一口 川腔地说 屁大点儿事 老子一样见过 我知道 它这是嫉妒 因为我可以同时接触好多好多mm和sg 而它 不行 还因为我经常看到有人水底加油 而它也不行 也有的很沮丧 它就是墓地 我们整天接触活生生的人 它就接触各种死尸 死尸也有漂亮的 43 但过两天就是骨头架子 所以每到我说话的时候 它都会躲到角落里低 头不语 我呢 则会带着别人追随的眼光 举一杯红酒 走过去 拍拍它的 肩头 我很同情它 然而有一天 我打了个盹儿醒来 赫然发现 我里面有很多很多浮尸 他们都一 动不动 也不算 应该说 应该怎么说呢 他们也不动 也动 说不动 是因为他们四肢躯干都静止 说动么 是因为他们在泳道里从这头漂到那头 又从那头漂到这头 平常人声喧哗的我 居然变得死气沉沉 连天花板上的灯也阴暗了 不少 我这是怎么了 我依稀看到下一个party上 浴缸端着红酒向我走来 44 我还依稀看到 墓地那同情的眼神 发信人: redondo 阿根廷的眼泪 , 信区: Joke 标 题: Re: 梨花Re: 怎么办 越来越喜欢装尸体嘞 发信站: 水木社区 Wed Jun 25 12:29:41 2008 , 站内 毫无疑问 浮得最久的尸体 It's all in the swimming pool The largest cup size Sender: OnTheTree on the tree, message area: Joke Title: Let’s not let people live anymore. Let’s go swimming in the stock market. We see corpses again. Corpses. Sending site: Shuimu Community Wed Jun 25 13:16:27 2008 , within the site Keep an eye on the market every day but 45 Do not make money Don’t dare to cut the flesh Just leaving Yituo Yituo's body Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear From 6100 points to 2800 points Then from 2800 points to 1200 points Forget it, let him hang the body and go for a swim to relax. When I entered the swimming pool, I saw a poster in the locker room saying that if you participate in today’s swimming pool floating activity, you will get a free swimming pool. I rely on one piece of clothing. How many days has it been since there was no profit? How many days has it been since there has been no good news like this. I fucking signed up in one quick step, and the white-collar worker got a pair of swimming trunks. Oh my god, why is it green? I yelled at the girl at the front desk. Sir, our event is for 5 days. In order to carry forward the Olympic spirit, there will be a five-ring face every day. Color Today there is only green Okay, you have the guts. I swallowed my saliva and endured it. At least I didn’t spend any money. 46 Damn, I was shocked as soon as I entered the swimming pool. The pool was full of people participating in floating activities, wearing green pants and bikinis. No less exciting than watching the market I can't bear it Go scuba diving to watch beautiful women PP. This is my summer love. ws dived under a PP, holy shit, it said PetroChina will be with you all the way. Take a sip. I almost choked on the water. I surfaced. Another girl floated up. There was a China Unicom connection printed on her chest. Two hemispheres. One guy turned around and motioned for me to get out of the way. He wanted to float over. The one on his pants was given by China Peace. appear extremely eye-catching When I got here, I had to run away. These people were obviously here to mess with me, so in the huge swimming pool I am the only one who walks upright, running towards the escalator in despair Suddenly everything went dark before my eyes, and I fell into the pool again with my feet in the air. A voice shouted. Fuck me, get off here. I’ve never seen you so ignorant of the rules. You wear underpants and don’t participate in activities. If I ask you to pretend to be pure, pretend to be pure for me. If I ask you to pretend to be B, pretend to be B for me. If I ask you to pretend to be a corpse, pretend to be a corpse for me. 47 Before dying, T-shirts printed with "xx Organization Rescue Team" are introduced to the eye. Sender: VF1 V F One Wei Batwang@新水木, only this one, no other branches, letter area: Joke Title: Allegro Re: What should I do? I like pretending to be a corpse more and more. Sending site: Shuimu Community Wed Jun 25 13:28:28 2008 , within the site Get up early today Feeling better studied all morning Not lacking in energy Go to eat in a hurry Exactly 70% full Sweating all over the road Just in time to take a bath Touching money is not enough See the swimming pool corner in the distance An idea struck Then trot all the way 48 Go back home and change equipment Call your old friend Joyful play stirs up the water Having fun Suddenly saw a dead body floating Twin Peaks is not that big My belly is not small One float, two or three trips Four or five people ran Sixty-seventhose who follow the trend Eighty or ninety people fell After meeting the girl, Squint your eyes and smile joke publishes documents Full page of sexy photos Such a great response People are very impetuous I am Wei Bat King Come and join in the fun too 49 Bring your camera tomorrow Leave erotic photos Allegro, leave this for now Let's keep doing it Sender: linkin vegetable , message area: Joke Title: A man lying on the water pretending to be a floating corpse Sending site: Shuimu Community Wed Jun 25 14:05:58 2008 , within the site According to our newspaper, someone fell into the water. The body was floating on the river. Someone among the onlookers immediately called 110 to report the situation. Police call. However, when the police arrived to prepare for salvage, the floating body suddenly swam to the shore. Around 4pm yesterday, nearly a hundred people gathered to watch a body floating in the Kunyu River section under the Linglong Tower. Except for the head and toes above the water, the body was completely submerged under the water. The body followed the waves. turbulence up and down Witnesses at the scene told reporters that when 110 arrived to prepare for salvage, the floating body suddenly swam to the shore. Onlookers put shovels on the shore to pick him up. The man, about 30 years old, was being interviewed by the police. 50 After asking, he left. Another witness told reporters that the man seemed to be very good in water and remained buoyant. The body looked like it had been lying on the water for a long time. No one knew when he went down. This man He is fully clothed with clothes, pants, shoes and socks. He cannot be swimming. He pretends to be a floating corpse in the water. It is most likely just a prank. The clue provider, Mr. Li, will receive a bonus of 50 yuan. 51 The rain stopped Go vote now Select the best original joke There is a MMS version of the monthly magazine for you