Sender: mmzt The girl is here, don’t be unreasonable, message area: Joke Title: [Monthly] April and May combined issue as tenacious as a sunflower Sending site: Shuimu Community Thu Jun 12 11:24:35 2008 , within the site . . : . ' . .. . .::. . ,., ﹤ ' ' .> . . . ' . . ' .. .. ' ... :' ' ' ' ' MMJOKE Please click the link to watch ' [PIC] The US military distributes school bags in Iraq. Reprinted by:Y3 ' Full text link http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 982 [PIC] Very pornographic and violent by:maomiao Full text link http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 984 [PIC] Being a dog is not easy either by:marcia Full text link http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 986 [PIC] Relax everyone’s mood Wolong Giant Panda by:lyjane Full text link http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 985 '. 01 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' '[PIC]Fire extinguisher by:clary Full text link http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 990 '[PIC]Feeling in the same boat reposted by:figohit Full text link http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 981 [PIC]Tencent is really exciting by:WWW163COM Full text link http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 983 [PIC]Story by the Sea by:Bird of Paradise by:zhaodc Full text link http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 989 [PIC]Cold...Reprinted by:skyneu Full text link http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 988 '. 02 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' JOKE monthly catalog ' Click Re: The joke I heard today 'Blanket I'm so embarrassed on the subway todayzz A joke zz "beep" you can get off.. English Test About Carrefour China Statement Shaver zz Original My high school BH chemistry class representative Super blind date zz Conversation between Jordan fans and Kobe fans reposted In the WSN training class, the girl who asked for chess today turned out to have a deep meaning, and the game ended in a draw. cute girl yy Live for Ten Thousand Years Special Collection If you are asked to pretend, just pretend! Joke without x or e Joke during the earthquake You took the letter upside down and cut down bamboo to enter the city. A friend's signature file'. Rice grain version consistent style 03 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' Point by xurong0859 ' A small businessman becomes prosperous I’ve heard for a long time that the uniforms in heaven and earth are famous among SM and others, so I decided to go to FB. Tell mommy, one set of urban management and one set of industrial and commercial '. 04 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' blanket by rebeller ' This morning I listened to the following conversation on 88.7 which was quite interesting. Male host: There was a buddy in our dormitory in college who washed the sheets once every four years. Female host is unimaginable Male host, in the end, you know, the sheets become blankets, haha Female host laughs Male host or blanket? '. 05 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' a joke by mycorrhiza ' gg and I were in online dating. We met for the first time. We were hanging out by the West Lake. When it was getting late, I saw that gg looked very nervous. He was rubbing his hands here and there, not knowing where to put them. Later, after confirming the relationship, I asked him At that time, were you going through a strong ideological struggle in your heart to muster up the courage to hold my hand? gg said, oh, no, I was wondering when we can go back. I really want to pee. '. 06 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' English test by rs723 ' In yesterday's professional English exam, where you could bring a dictionary, I looked at other people's compact pocket dictionaries. Then I looked at the huge Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary in front of me, and I secretly groaned in my heart. Why don’t you have a smaller dictionary at home? Suddenly I noticed that the dictionary on the desk of the old gentleman at the right rear was twice as big as mine, and I secretly admired it. He's probably a scholar Then the exam started and I looked through the dictionary Then I heard the old gentleman mutter something '. Why did I bring Cihai? 07 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' Shaver zz by ZMFlying ' My beard is relatively soft and it’s difficult to shave clean with an electric shaver, so I always use a manual shaver. I've been using Geely's and it's very useful. When I woke up today, my dad asked me if your razor was expensive. I said it's okay. It's a hundred dollars. My dad said, well, no wonder why I feel like I can shave so cleanly. Then he added: I used your razor to shave the pig's head yesterday. There is pork head at noon today. Can you go buy another one? OMG it's so perverted'. 08 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' Super blind date zz by enst ' Super Powerful Amazing Quotations I Heard on a Blind Date with Company Colleagues A few days ago, I went on a blind date with a colleague from the company. I didn't want to go, he had to ask me to go He said that the situation was bad and he asked me to find a way to get him out. I didn’t expect that the woman also came with two people to balance it out. The girl is quite pretty and Xiaojiabiyu is quite talkable, so I decided to withdraw first. But The woman who accompanied the girl suddenly noticed the shoes worn by her colleague, stared at them and asked, are you wearing height-increasing shoes? Those are not actually height-increasing shoes, but the soles are indeed a bit thick, just look at the appearance. My colleague panicked and quickly said no, no. So how tall are you?'. 176 Ah Next page 09 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' 'Is it that high? These shoes must be 5 centimeters, aren't you lying? My colleague is an honest boy. He is a little anxious and his face is red. Let’s find a place to measure. Forget it, first of all, your attitude towards the blind date is not correct. It's also deceptive. ' After holding it in for a long time, my colleague suddenly pointed at the girl who came for the blind date and said, is she wearing sponge underwear? Everyone was shocked The girl’s turn for the blind date turned red. The girl who accompanied the girl on the blind date didn't know how to answer for a moment and said, so what? You like someone tall? What if I like someone with big breasts? Do you think this is deception? Damn, I admired him so much at the time, but I felt that the blind date was out of the question. But when I was having lunch today, I heard that the girl seemed to have left him her phone number later, haha. head '. 10 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' WSN in training sessions by adding ' Today I was training in the company. The place was very crowded. Everyone put their computers on the table, so there was no room to put the mouse. Everyone is using pointing sticks and touch screens The class started to be boring... I started to play Mizuki, and suddenly I found a WSN opposite me while I was in class. While touching the top of his thighs with a satisfied smile... very disgusting I resisted the urge to rush over and curse. During break, I walked over and saw that he had the wireless mouse on his lap. Fuck Mizuki with a crooked neck to watch the joke '. 11 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' cute girls by Irish ' A good friend told me Background: He met a very good girl online. She is gentle, kind and beautiful. She has a good reputation among her friends and is quite conservative. Unfortunately, after knowing him for only twelve days, I decided to come see him this weekend. Another innocent little girl asks for it. Oh, I won’t say anything. They are all in North America. It is said that after he saw the earthquake disaster, he felt very sad and made a video with that girl. He even shed tears when he was crying, causing the girls to cry with him. He said that he was still in school. Moreover, MBA is very expensive and I really don’t have the power to help the people of Sichuan. I feel very guilty. The girl was very considerate and said that she had donated 400 dollars so that 200 of it would be counted as '. He donated it Next page 12 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' He was so moved at the time that he started talking nonsense. Well, in this case, just count it as 50 dollars a time and I will provide you with a "service" ' This is a way of repaying you I originally thought that girls would be very shy and call him a bad guy or something. Unexpectedly, MM struggled there for a long time and whispered something with a red face. Our company is a 1:3 Match He told me that my brother was confused at that time. '. 13 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' yylive for ten thousand years by songtorrent ' one day My classmate yy If I could live ten thousand years Until then, no matter what happens in the world, You have to ask me what I think first Another classmate has been like this since ancient times Whenever our ancestors encountered any natural or man-made disaster, They are all looking for a tortoise shell to burn to see if it is good or bad. '. 14 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' If you are told to pretend, just pretend! by runmouse 'The boss had something wrong with his computer, so he asked me, a young man, to reinstall Windows for him. A few days ago, for some reason, he was happy and asked me to install Linux for him. Today we have an external event. The leader asked me to wear a suit and attend the event in the morning. I'm quite handsome, but I have no interest in dressing up. When I grow up, I only wear a few jackets and T-shirts. I particularly don’t like to wear any kind of suit. I think it looks like SB, so my boss enlightened me and said that there are some occasions. You still have to put on a show. Just being handsome is not enough. If you want a man in gold, you need clothes. jjww There are a lot of them. I'm still not happy to wear it. The boss was angry. Slap the table If I ask you to install Windows, then install Windows for me. If I ask you to install Linux, then install Linux for me. If I tell you to pretend to be B, just pretend to be B for me. '. 15 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' Joke without x or e by biancr ' Lazy man's creativity A tortoise and a hare were racing. The hare ran too fast and hit a tree and fainted. The tortoise won the championship. A man walked to a tree and found a fainted rabbit. He took it home and cooked it. So he came to the tree every day and waited. Waiting and waiting, the rabbit didn't come to hit the tree. As a result, all the seedlings in my field were destroyed. Not as tall as others So he went home and pulled out the seedlings one by one, and all the seedlings died. Okay, good boy, this is the story of the tortoise and the hare, waiting for the hare and pulling the seedlings to grow. After listening to three stories, it’s time to go to bed '. 16 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' You took the letter backwards by fwsolar ' Bush received a letter from Bin Laden that simply read qs IHS IN In the past two days, America's top code-breaking experts have been working day and night but failed to crack it. So I asked China for help. Soon I received a reply from China. You took the letter backwards. '. 17 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' A friend’s signature file by AllBeOK ' I just saw a friend’s signature file One night I was drinking with some friends, and many of them drank too much. One fell asleep on the roadside and we couldn't lift him. We decided to find something to cover him with so he wouldn't catch a cold. I met him a few days later and he said he woke up the next day to find three bicycles on him. '. 18 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' Rice rice grain version consistent style by operator lz I lg blablabla my mother-in-law blablabla sisters what should I do ' 1st floor away 2nd floor jp 3rd floor pit? Floor 4 The first law of family jp always appears in pairs Floor 5. Do you have a pot lid at home? Hurry up and put it on. The bricks will be here soon. 6th floor call summary 7th floor points 8th floor shooting 9th Floor Hello Pippi 10th floor crappy pit 11th Floor Re-read first 12th Floor Does this mean "sf"? 13th Floor I’ve seen people with superficial expressions, but I’ve never seen people with such superficial expressions. .....Next page 19 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' Everyone took the photo on the 100th floor. In fact, lz is quite pitiful. 'Floor 101, call lz lg to come up for confrontation Floor 102 lz is just @$!@#!%@ On the 103rd floor, have you noticed that it is actually a very hidden xyt? 'Floor 104 It's true. If you didn't tell me, I really wouldn't have noticed. ..... Floor 300 Where is the original post? On the 301st floor, look forward for the one with a Floor 302 Top Ten Names Floor 303, all the lz have run away, you are still here. Floor 304 k is another headless post Floor 305 Calling for a good pit Floor 306: The sofa is not kind. Floor 308. The one-sided posts are boring. Floor 309, you guys were so harsh that you even beat the original poster away.'. Next page 20 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' 'Floor 500, in-laws, your son-in-law has a stomachache 'Floor 501 What did you give him to eat? Floor 502: No. He was fine before I sent him to kindergarten yesterday, but he had diarrhea when he came back. The 503rd floor chat will be punished by 14d, both of you. 'Floor 504: Is it the same as polenta or coffee? The viscosity and color On the 505th floor, his dad took the photo and will send it to your email shortly. ..... 1000th floor k Why is this still a trap? Yesterday it was this trap Floor 1001. Change the title. I am lz’s lg. Let me say a few words. Floor 1002 Are you still a man? Floor 1003 wk The victim is here Floor 1004, lots of fresh oranges Floor 1005, transferred to joke Floor 1006 looks fake to me ... '. Next page 21 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 1200th Floor @ Change the title. Human flesh is out. Let’s see if it’s her. ' 'Floor 1201 Human flesh is mighty 'Floor 1202, so strong Floor 1203. Changed the title. I came all the way from Tianya to see it. Floor 1204 How come there is such a scumbag in XX province? 'Floor 1205 No Hell Knight Floor 1206 What I said is the truth. Once I went to XX province and was at the train station blablabla Floor 1207. That’s an isolated phenomenon. You#@$%#$%@#%$ ... Floor 2000, 1930 people online Floor 2001, rush 2002 floor, changed the title, 1953 people Floor 2003. I’ve been watching this all morning and haven’t done anything. Floor 2004. Big trap that killed people. I forgot to call the auction to buy the lowest price. 2005 floor, changed the title, 1994 people 2006 floor, changed the title, broken '. Next page 22 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' '2007 floor, changed title, 2014 people Floor 2008. Where is the moderator? Come out and delete the comment. ... ' Bamboo comes out with the same theme collection Floor 2100 Bamboo's hand is not fast enough has appeared re [Collection] Floor 2101, you will be harmed ... Bamboo XXXX’s permission to post on familylife has been revoked '. Next page 23 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' Re: The joke I heard today by slowboywyf 'I was watching a TV series recently called Di Renjie in the Altar of Gods There are three characters in it Their names are Zeng Tai, Di Ge Lao and Harile I won’t say the rest. Um In biancr's masterpiece it is mentioned: : We have an old Red Army soldier here who is very loyal to China. : Three children born after marriage : Name them respectively: love the country, love the people, love the party '. 24 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' I'm embarrassed in the subway today zz by faair ' I want to top up my bus card after get off work and get off the subway. Ask the lady who sells tickets if you can recharge money here Sister, I can’t charge it. The port opposite can charge it. I walked up, crossed the street, and got off the subway Ask the lady who sells tickets if you can recharge money here Sister, I can’t charge it. The port opposite can charge it. I, ah, I can’t. The person across from me just asked me to come over. Sister, no way. She glanced at me, young man. You were the one who asked me just now. Where do you go up from? Why did you come down here again? '. 25 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' 'zz"Beep" You can get off the car.. by web Stupid version of the first PO 'Sorry for not being stupid divider I was told that I took the bus to work one day because it happened to be the time for students to get out of school. It’s time for office workers to get off work, so everyone in the car is there, and they don’t even have to pull the handle. So I had to hold big and small bags in both hands and rely on the skills I have learned from riding on the road for many years. Trying to keep my balance in the driveway...while I try to squeeze through the crowd '. When I was searching for the EasyCard in my bag, the driver suddenly braked... Next page 26 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' ' I pressed my whole face against the machine for swiping the Easy Card. Pasted it Pasted it '. Next page 27 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' 'The point is that at that time I didn't know which meridian was wrong, so I said "beep" smoothly. The driver said calmly, you can get off the car... !?Is it really possible!?!??!?! '. I can imagine the whole car bursting into laughter after I got off the car...T^T 28 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' About Carrefour China Statement by Atemporal ' After reading Carrefour’s statement, the last thing I wrote was The President of Carrefour Group and the President and CEO of Carrefour China will be honored to attend Olympic Games Opening Ceremony Become a witness to this historical moment then '. Next page 29 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' Sender: Atemporal Atemporal, Area: Military Title: Re: Carrefour China Statement 'Sending station: BBS Weiming Space Station Thu Apr 17 06:57:04 2008, forwarded It's quite funny. I said I was there in person, but I thought I was a bird. Sender: tellertllr teller tllr , Area: Military Title: Re: Carrefour China Statement Sending station: BBS Weiming Space Station Thu Apr 17 07:05:54 2008 The main venue is called Bird's Nest '. 30 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' 'Original representative of my high school BH chemistry class by iamdragon ' When I was in high school, before every chemistry class, the class representative had to follow the teacher to the laboratory. Get some lab equipment so you can demonstrate it in class ' Another time before class, the class representative followed the young chemistry teacher to the laboratory. The teacher happened to have his cell phone. It rang. When the teacher looked at the phone, his eyes immediately lit up. We all knew that the chemistry teacher was in love at that time. Of course this was a call from my future teacher’s wife. So the teacher took out a bunch of keys from his trouser pocket and said to the class representative Go open that cupboard and then stand under the window having fun while answering the phone. There were more than a dozen keys in that bunch for this door and that cabinet. The class representative tried several times but couldn't open the cabinet. Seeing that class was about to begin, I anxiously asked the teacher which one it was. The teacher was talking sweetly to my sister, so I had no time to pay attention to him, so I said try as briefly as possible. So our class representative stood up and backed away. With a little luck, he kicked the cabinet door open. 31 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' Conversation between Jordan fans and Kobe fans Reposted by kuloujing zz by surafish Jordan fan ' Jordan won the scoring title ten times, Kobe only won it twice. Kobe fan Jordan is not a big deal, Kobe scored 81 points Jordan fan Jordan's 9-time All-Defensive Team and 1-time Defensive Player of the Year Kobe's defense Kobe fan Jordan is not a big deal, Kobe scored 81 points Jordan fan Jordan won 6 Finals MVPs and 5 regular season MVPs. Kobe won his first taste of MVP when he was 30 years old. Kobe fan'. Jordan is not a big deal, Kobe scored 81 points Next page 32 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 Jordan fan ' ' Jordan led the Bulls to two three consecutive championships and six rings. When Kobe Bryant won the championship with the Lakers, the MVPs were all SHAQ. ' Kobe fan Jordan is not a big deal, Kobe scored 81 points 'Jordan fan 8 main statistics in basketball: points per game, shooting percentage, rebounds, assists, steals Blocks, turnovers, efficiency, none of Kobe's is better than Jordan's 30.1 20.5 49.7 45.3 6.2 5.3 5.3 4.6 2.3 1.5 0.8 0.6 2.7 2.9 27.9 23.6 Kobe fan Jordan is not a big deal, Kobe scored 81 points Jordan fan Kobe fan Jordan is not a big deal, Kobe scored 81 points. Next page 33 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' Jordan fan left speechless ' Kobe fan Jordan is not a big deal, Kobe scored 81 points '. 34 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 The girl who asked for chess today turned out to have a deep meaning and the game ended in a draw by BigWig ' 'zz by QinXiangLin ' Original link http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 398&id 1093648 Let’s see the meaning of posting mm 'You don't need to look at the first step. It's bound to be handsome with five draws and four. Below, black cannons with four draws and two will be sure. If the red car advances to two points, it is certain. If the black cannon points to two points, it is certain to draw nine points. If the red queen pawn points to five points, it is certain. The black rook 1 will advance to 9, the red handsome 5 will advance 1, the black pawn will draw 4 and 5, the red handsome will draw 4 and 5. It seems a bit particular about where Black retreats. The following is a chess game that restrains each other. It is more complicated. It is a draw. What I want to say is mm this post means 1. Don’t be in a hurry to have sex 2. Use your own talents 3. Want to deliver a car'. 4. The other party will also give you some small things, such as pawns 5. After that, the two sides became entangled with each other. Although there were some fights, peace was more valuable in the end. 35 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 Topic 1 Joke in earthquakes ' ' ' There have been many heroes in Shu since ancient times ZZ by marcia @ Before going to Deyang, when I was in a hurry to say goodbye, a friend called me, "My classmate is also in Deyang." 'You are going to make love with her over there. She looks like my classmate. You can recognize her at a glance. 识 " @ 朋友的妈妈 坦然自若得在马路上打了一夜的麻将 天亮把赢的钱 全部捐了 @ 前两天下午去超市买东西 旁边一火锅店 满座胡吃海喝 突然有 余震 一人大叫"地震了 " 轰轰轰全部跑出来 呆望火锅楼 过了 几分钟老板在门口敲盘子 "估计震完了 " 一干人等又轰轰轰的跑 回去 瞬时划拳喝酒叫菜声四起 '. 下一页 36 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' '@ 最近大家都在包里面统一放一小瓶水 一小袋巧克力 以防万一 而今天发现某护士组长换了个特大的包背着上下班 搞得我们诚惶 恐的请她指点一下她的防震装备 她爽快的答应了 把包一倒 哗 ' 哗哗 倒出来至少十几个瓶子和七八个盒子袋子 她一个一个的 "洗面奶 爽肤水 眼霜 精华液 日霜 晚霜 粉底 " 没等她念完我们就散了 @ 隔壁邻居 去他家借把铁钳 看到客厅角落整整齐齐一排啤酒瓶 据说是测震用措施 我在小房等着女主人拿铁钳给我 听到客厅里砰 砰砰啤酒倒地的声音 探头出去 发现啤酒瓶全部倒地 奇道 "刚才 有地震 没觉得啊 " 他手里抱着他儿子的两个玩具篮球 "不 这个 反正摆都摆了 顺 便练练保龄球 " '. 下一页 37 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' '@ 今天发现门卫大爷拿着地图唉声叹气 问他有什么事需要帮忙 他 ' 说 "这地图上怎么就没有麻将店呢 ""麻将到处都有卖啊 ""我想 买幅特轻特轻的 跑起来也好带一点 只有大的店里面才有卖吧 "" ' @ 有个小病人 从地震那天起就一直把他的熊用塑料绳牢牢系在背上 他说 "我要带维尼一起跑 "今天他爸爸抱着他进办公室 "医生 开点啥药吧 他长痱子了 " @ 今天下午四点多 和二哥一起在五楼办公室里找文件 明显余震袭 来 椅子左右摇晃 我问二哥 "跑不跑 " 他答 "五楼哪跑得出去 啊 算了 " 我左右四顾 "那找个地方蹲蹲吧 " 二哥叹气 " 还是算了 " 我疑惑道 "为啥 " 二哥苦着一张脸 "我昨天跑步扭到腰了 蹲不下去啊 " '. 下一页 38 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 专题1 地震中的joke ' ' ' 毛主席向他招手了 by cisso ' 有人十二号地震时正骑车在天府广场人民南路上 他看到毛主席在给他招手 当时吓的差点撞到汽车 停下来才知道地震了 嗯 很不厚道 但确实很好笑 '. 39 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 专题1 地震中的joke ' ' ' 轻松一下..地震时的成都众生象 ZZ by kissgoodbye ' 12号那天 我一个阿姨正在打麻将 突然发现桌子在晃 马上喊不打老 晃 结果另外一个阿姨说 不要慌 再打一盘 地震来的时候 我们楼下还有抱29寸纯平彩电跑的估计的累惨了 四个婆婆在打麻将 突然发现桌子在摇 婆婆们二话不说 分头各自 去找了些硬纸板 垫在桌子下面 然后坐下来继续打 ! 估计是 成都市最强悍的几个老太婆了 有个医生正准备给一个躺在床上的中年男病人打针 突然地震了 医 生说 哎呀 好大的人老嘛 打个针都怕 晃撒子嘛 '. 下一页 40 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' 12号那天我正在售房部 发现电脑在抖 格老子的 压路机又过来 ' 了 你去喊他开慢点 不理所 出切一看 好多人 才晓得地震了 ' 听说 12号那天川大一个班上正在上课 地震了 学生开始往外面跑 老教授喊 莫慌做下来 我点名 点一个出去一个 汗 我当时在打电话 很镇静的告诉电话那头的朋友 地震了 朋友很镇静的告诉我 那就挂了嘛 楼底下躲震 听见一个老太婆骂她老伴 老年痴呆 地震起来你还去 抽啥子空调嘛 瓜西西的 人家都在跑 你喊我把冰箱给你抽到 原来地震那天 他老婆起身就跑 他把空调抽到 还喊他老婆 表跑 把冰箱抽到 要倒了 一个朋友说地震时他家狗还在睡 于是第二天把他家狗 '. 暴打一顿 下一页 41 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' 今天听到同事摆 某大学的日语外教只彪悍 日本不是经常地震把他 ' 都震成习惯了 5.12地震一开始 他很镇静地喊学生躲到桌子底下 隔哈儿抖完了 学生从桌子底下爬出来 他继续讲课 然后全校的老 师学生都到操场集合了 校领导一清人 拐了 日语班的人喃 ' 赶快派人上切找 找到教室头的时候 他们班还在继续上日语 我从来没有经历过地震 512那天我正好要去缴电话费 刚刚走到天府 广场电信营业厅门口 就看到一群人往外冲 心想 遭了 有人抢劫 同事的朋友正在蹲大号 地震了 她朋友想 杂个近来身体这么瞥哦 蹲到脚都在打闪闪 我们单位一个老工程师 地震来时从13楼跑到了11楼 突然冒出了一 句 遭了 电脑还没关 于是返回13楼把电脑关了才跑下来 后来 这一事迹得到公司老总的表扬 敬佩哦 '. 下一页 42 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 ' ' ' 说个我朋友他老爸 家在6楼,地震那天.;老爷子正好在窗户边,震的时 候他家对面的水塔甩的啊,跟个呼啦圈一样.老爷子欣赏了一会,喊一 了句:老婆子,快快 快来看 这水塔甩圆咯...." ' 而这个时候阿姨早就腿软的不行咯 5.12地震时 正在试朋友才买的车子 刚刚打开空调车子就开始晃动了 我朋友说:妈哟 这车子质量太差了 开个空调整个车子都在动等会就 去找厂家退货 刚说完就看见旁边一大群人跑出来喊地震了 这才晓得原来是地震 一个非洲黑娃儿到成都旅游,入住一家宾馆,这时地震发生使宾馆着火, 黑娃儿以最快的速度冲到空旷的平地,这时救火的消防队员很惊讶的 说到"日他仙人板板,没见过被烧焦了还跑得这么快的"...... '. 43 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 专题2 砍竹子进城 ' ' ' 被调戏了 by peringsu ' 某美眉酒吧里对我说了个笑话 说古代有个人 砍了匹竹子进城卖 结果这竹子横竖都进不去 于是没卖成 于是回家休息一晚 第二日茅塞顿开 终于卖掉了 我笑笑 这说明了 这人是傻子 你当我也傻啊 美眉极认真望着我 说 你是太肤浅了 这说明了人类是性图腾生物 '. 44 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 专题2 砍竹子进城 ' ' ' 卖炭翁 Re: 被调戏了 by meiyaowang ' 买竹妞 浅酌低饮酒吧中 满面春水桃花色 两颊赧赧十指搓 买得之竹何所出 胸大无脑精壮男 可怜身上火正燃 心忧竹短愿男痴 忽来吧外一支竹 夜恃尺物叩城门 竖放横置不得入 次晨茅塞终于开 翩翩一衣来是谁 聪明伶俐本楼主 手把诺机口称弱 不才智商百有廿 买竹妞 直直盯 讷讷楼主说不得 男皆性图腾生物 弗如卖竹充酒直 '. 45 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 专题2 砍竹子进城 ' ' ' Re: 俺也要打油 by baling ' 匪花匪草 西山伐竹 横持过关 门窄不入 吾货不得售兮 君子知天 匪玉匪石 西山伐箨 竖持过关 门低不纳 吾货不得售兮 君子知命 匪虫匪兽 西山伐笋 直持过关 门深不阻 吾货终得售兮 君子知性 '. 46 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 专题2 砍竹子进城 ' ' ' 卖竹谣 Re: 被调戏了 by CSL ' 禽兽和美女 一起去酒吧 美女说古人 卖竹赚钱花 竹子比较长 城门尺寸差 横竖进不去 郁闷回到家 床上烙烧饼 梦中游爪哇 不禁内急醒 下顾拍脑瓜 原是简单事 想得太复杂 次日复进城 长竹有买家 禽兽笑了笑 自称我不傻 美女极正色 不把禽兽夸 竹乃性图腾 禽兽可懂它 竹乃性图腾 禽兽可懂它 '. 47 .. ... .. ... .. .... .. ... .. ... 乀 小黑屋推荐 游戏 懒人讲故事 发起 by biancr 一只乌龟和一只兔子赛跑,兔子跑的太快,撞树上晕倒了,乌龟得了冠军 有一个人走到树边发现了撞晕的兔子,带回家煮了,于是他每天都来到树边等 等啊等啊,一直没有等到兔子来撞树,结果自己家田里的苗都废了, 不如别人的长得高 于是他回家一颗一颗地把苗拔长,于是苗都死了 好了,乖孩子 这就是龟兔赛跑 守株待兔 揠苗助长的故事 听完三个故事该睡觉了 .48. by Dio 先不追求搞笑 应该还可以 比如 从前有一只狐狸骗老虎说 我是兽中之王 山上谁都怕我 不信你跟在我后面瞅瞅 于是老虎就照做了 果然发现小动物们看到狐狸就跑 可是 忽然 他发现一个双脚直立的动物没跑开 还直接走过来了 他就想 狐狸你胡说 这个动物就不怕你嘛 然后老虎就被这个动物打死了 这就是狐假虎威 武松打虎 马马虎虎的故事 睡觉去吧 .49. by operater love版 狐狸兔子和乌鸦 从前有一只英俊的狐狸 他喜欢上了一只pp的小兔子 兔子说 如果要我嫁给你 你要给我买三套房 一套自主 一套周末住 一套给我爸妈住 狐狸同意了 但是狐狸太穷了 根本买不起房 兔子最终喜欢上了一个乌鸦大款 据说很米很米 兔子不顾狐狸的挽留 一天突然从狐狸租的房子里闪电般的搬走了 狐狸找不到她 非常痛心 后来 乌鸦带着兔子做飞机去了美国 移民了 乌鸦待兔子虽然很好 但是不会关心她 他们吵架的时候 兔子会给狐狸打电话来倾诉 狐狸一如既往的开导她 狐狸要为她守 候一生 再后来 兔子生病死掉了 狐狸痛不欲生 削发为僧 经过 几十年修行 终成正果 小喷油们 我的故事讲完了 我们学会的成语有 狡兔三窟 动如脱 兔 乌飞兔走 守株待兔 兔死狐悲 藕断丝连 得道高僧 如果你 们记不住 就记住口诀兔兔兔兔兔藕得 记得每天早中晚各背一遍 .50. by iseva 有个人捡到一个夜明珠,并且主动把这个夜明珠交还给当地官 府, 收到了当地官府的表扬,但是官府中有个人却起了歹心,想偷 这个夜明珠,半夜里偷偷的学狗钻进仓库里去偷到了夜明珠,于是 连夜逃出城,结果城门已经关了,这个人就学鸡叫,骗过守城的人开 门,然后逃走了. 这个人拿到夜明珠后很害怕就想赶紧出售卖掉,为了能尽快出手, 这个人找了人做了几个精美的盒子装夜明珠,买给一个楚国人,结果 楚国人看到这个盒子漂亮,居然只拿了盒子,归还了夜明珠.这个人高 兴之极,怕楚国人返回,就赶紧坐船离开,不料船行驶到河中间,不小心 把珠子给掉到河里了,船家劝他赶紧下河捞.这个人只拿出小刀,在珠 子落水的地方刻了一个标记,等到船靠岸的时候,按着记号,去找.结果 当然是找不到. 下一页 .51. 话说这个船夫看到这种情景后,就偷偷的驶回珠子掉落的地方,跳 入河中找.结果河底有很多死鱼的眼睛,船夫根本分不清楚那个是珍珠 ,船夫只有睁大了眼睛一个一个的看,最后从上万个死鱼眼睛中找到那 个明珠.船夫心里真实高兴,心想不知什么时候积了这么好的rp,意外 的得到了这笔财富. 成语 拾金不昧,鸡鸣狗盗,买椟还珠,刻舟求剑 鱼目混珠,万里挑 一,意外之财 .52. by Dio 我严格按照3个来串 绝对不多来 从前有一个叫叶公的人 他非常喜欢龙 所以他家里墙上挂龙 画 器具雕龙形 自己穿龙袍 老婆像恐龙 养的狗也要装上角 养的鸡也要添俩爪子 总之 他的喜欢连天上的真龙都感动了 真龙想 这么一个铁杆fans 我应该去慰问一下啊 于是它就下凡 话说风从虎 云从龙 这真龙下凡可不是小事儿 那天刮着大风 下 着大雨 霹雳一个接一个 就听轰隆隆一声 借着雷声 真龙就用大 脑袋把叶公家的窗户撞破了 叶公一见真龙 吓破了胆 拉上老婆屁 滚尿流地就跑了 真龙一见叶公的老婆 也吓破了胆 惊魂不定地在 叶公家躲了一阵 最后灰溜溜地走了 走的时候 发现两个奇怪的生 物 就顺便带回天上 这就是叶公好龙 鸡犬升天和被雷到的故事 睡觉去吧 .53. by operater 继续 这一天 大雾 诸葛亮要鲁肃陪他上船 鲁肃正在家哄孩子 不得已 抱着鲁小肃一起上船 诸葛亮要他们和他坐在一个船上 等到20支战船浩浩荡荡杀奔曹营 鲁肃才明白诸葛亮要他们爷俩当垫 背 曹操命令放火箭 顿时船上起火 船舱里的人不知道 鲁小肃怀 Someone was having a barbecue next door and they were clamoring for food. Lu Su came out to watch and found out that there was a fire. They immediately died. He ordered him to turn around and sail back. As soon as he reached the center of the river, half of the sailors escaped. Lu Su and Zhuge Liang did not agree. I had to row the boat myself. When we got close to the river, the boat was almost burned down. Everyone had to put on their clothes and jump in. Swim back in the water This is the story of a man who is in the same boat, a wise man who suspects his neighbor, and a man who hits the middle of the stream with just a strip of water. .54. by smsq A group of people were drinking. Drinks were coming and going. Someone saw the reflection of a bow on the wall in the glass of wine. He thought it was a snake and fainted. It turned out that he had been bitten by a snake when he was a child. Another man took off his bow and shot far away, but was stopped by a piece of silk hanging to dry. But a bird actually fell from the sky This is the intersection of drinking and drinking, and the shadow of a snake. Once bitten by a snake, I will be afraid of straw ropes and At the end of the powerful crossbow, its power cannot penetrate Lu Zhen and the origin of the frightened bird .55. by My1999 Little friends, sit down. Uncle Rosso will tell you some idiom stories today. Please listen carefully. It is said that in the early years, a county magistrate encountered an earthquake in his state capital and was promoted by the imperial court to the rank of The new magistrate of the disaster area led the people of the prefecture in earthquake relief. When he took office, the couple wiped their hair on their heads. Oiled up, powdered on face, dressed up beautifully, and then set out on the road together When passing through the Central Plains, both of them were exhausted due to the difficult and dangerous road, and the prefect's wife finally fell ill. When he died, he turned into a beautiful deer. He left the prefect and ran away. The prefect was shocked and ran after him. The deer ran and ran and couldn't run anymore. He said to the prefect, "My dear, why are you chasing me? Now the country is The family is facing a huge disaster. You don't burn incense and pray for a quick arrival, but you can't get along with me. Is he a man? The prefect was ashamed and immediately went to a nearby temple to burn incense and pray, and then continued on his way day and night. When he took office, the imperial court issued a decree saying that the prefect's wife had sacrificed her life due to national disasters, and a hundred beauties were specially commended. Serving the prefect's food and daily life. The prefect said there were too many. He picked three beautiful ones and four more. Only the diligent ones were kept, and the rest were returned to the emperor. Thanks to the efforts of the new prefect and the officials and people of the whole state, The home that was destroyed beyond recognition by the earthquake finally turned into a vast flat land where horses can gallop. The people have once again lived a stable, peaceful and happy life. .56. Next page My little friends, I’ve finished telling my uncle’s story. What idioms have you learned from your uncle? By the way yes Promoted to a new position, a fragrant prayer Youtou Noodles A Blessing in Disguise Competition in the Central Plains, pick and choose The national crisis is at the forefront and everything is smooth sailing Can you write down these eight idioms in one sentence? You can definitely do it. Look, little fish-head friend has already raised his hand. .57. This ends the monthly newsletter After reading, please press V on the page to vote for your favorite joke. Edit by mmzt yoo yutourr ASCII by freshtime 2008.06 Joke@newsmth