Sender: cu0 roumihuadou, letter area: Joke Title: [Advanced Edition] January and February combined issue Sending station: Shuimu Community Tue Mar 22 00:01:36 2011 , within the station . ,> "Too much salt will lead to dampness" >" ALT . , ;.: ": sa < t . [JPG]Illustrations on the roadside of Guangzhou Animal Park by:match510520 ,> http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 12 1 3 1 " [JPG] I bought a bird pillow at Target and took it home and found out it was a tragedy by:lovenini http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 12 1 4 1 >" [PIC]Bear by:nightawk ALT http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 12 1 5 7 [JPG] With this car, you don’t have to worry about not being able to get a ride by:topjoker http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 12 2 1 2 [JPG]Shadow by:zollow , http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 12 2 1 4 MMJoke Recommended 1 . ,> [JPG]No laughing. Why are my fish-shaped steamed buns so silly? by:iovpython " http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 12 2 3 3 [GIF] Powerful self-healing ankle by:shoushou09 >" http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 12 2 3 1 ALT [JPG] Beautiful legs by:aore http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 12 2 4 2 [JPG]How to spend Valentine’s Day by:wowowlof http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 12 2 2 2 , > MMJoke Recommended 2 Big cats and big monsters by xiaokaixin. ,> I went to have barbecue with my colleagues today. The colleague told a joke about his three-and-a-half-year-old son. " The child is naughty and refuses to sleep at night >" His mother threatened that if you don’t sleep, the big cat will come to catch you. The child looked at her mother calmly and noncommittally ALT His mother continues to scare you. If you don't sleep, I will let the big monster come to catch you. The child was scared and hid under the quilt and said, "Mom, Mom, I am obedient and sleep. Don't let me." The big monster is coming, okay? They were all harmed by reading villain books. His mother said, okay, just be obedient and sleep, and I will let the big monster go. , At this time, the son quietly answered, "Mom, please let the big monster go." Just take the big cat away, okay? Joke Featured 3 pku post office joke by Calebh. ,> Today I went with my sister to the PKU post office to send something to distant France." Pack the package, fill in the address and hand it to the salesperson >" The salesperson asked whether we should take water or air. She said air is faster. ALT A few seconds later, we got the stub of the email, with two big words written on it: Ocean We were puzzled and muttered for a long time in front of the counter. I, eh, didn’t I send it by air? , mm Yes, why is the word ocean written here? > Joke Featured 4 At this time, the aunt inside calmly knocked on the counter and said, "Ocean is my name." ,> " >" ALT , Joke Picks 5 Dumbfounded by shengbanxia . My husband still needs the last cash salary from his previous employer because he is busy with me,> I have more free time. I wanted to collect it for him, but my husband firmly refused. I thought he didn’t want his salary to be forged. " Where is the father-in-law? Finally, he said quietly for a long time, "You can't go because I'm already with them." I made you look like a fairy in front of me >" ALT , > Joke Featured 6 RE: dumbfounding by flyingbirdyu . ,> There is a similar one. LG went abroad and brought back a pair of Levi's jeans. There is no way I can squeeze in. " I thought he was confused. He said that he knew I would definitely not be able to wear it, but the junior brother who went with me The junior sisters all said that this one must be big enough. My sister-in-law can’t be so fat. >" ALT , Joke Featured 7 The sad annual meeting and what happened last night by trueralphy . In the lottery at the annual meeting, the winner has to draw a prank lottery again. The lottery usually says that the winner sings, > Singing, dancing, bunny hopping, etc. I won the first prize after never winning a prize in four years. It was a prank I drew." The signature says >" ALT , > Change your prize to a bunny stuffed animal... Joke Featured 8 Being played by my nephew by lovejazz . Fourth grade children,> " Deep in front of me, the five-fingered palms are facing away from me. Imagine this finger. The middle finger is the big one. Trees, the rest are grasses, you blow it >" I thought it was so damn childish, so I blew it in cooperation. ALT Then give me the middle finger This is the latest game in their elementary school. I fucked it up. , Joke Picks 9 Charge by VikingGundam . Charging mobile phones in the train washroom. The person is leaning against the wall in a daze. The mobile phone is connected to the cord and placed in his pocket.> A little boy came to the toilet and turned around and said to his mother, "Look, the robot is charging." >" ALT , > Joke Picks 10 Charged the wrong phone bill by opiuk. ,> I charged the wrong phone number for charging. I felt a little distressed after charging 100 yuan, so I called that buddy. " I used to ask if I could recharge my money, but the guy was very depressed and said, "Brother, it's the end of the year." It's all due to the bill. I finally shut down my phone. You fucking charged me up again? >" ALT , Joke Picks 11 Queuing up for Spring Festival travel by VikingGundam . When the bus was three stops away from the train station, the driver shouted, "Passengers who bought train tickets can get off," The bus is queuing up." >" ALT , > Joke Picks 12 Jokes encountered on the subway by bugboo . Yesterday, I sat next to a child and his father on the subway. The little boy was probably only 3 4 years old,> years age" The mobile TV on the subway suddenly played a word about hegemony The little boy asked his father seriously what hegemony was His father also said very seriously that as an example to the baby, the mother only allows the baby to eat every day >" A piece of chocolate, right? The little boy nodded ALT No matter how much you beg your mother, she won't give you another piece, right? The little boy nodded again Dad, beg mom for help. She won’t give you an extra piece, right? The little boy nodded again. This is hegemony. I really admire this dad... , Joke Featured 13 Subway jokes original by loyola. ,> Once I took a bus to Xizhimen and transferred to the subway. When I got on, the bus was very empty. " I found a seat and sat there. After a while, a man came up who was dressed in ordinary clothes. He was dark and thin, with short hair. The messy middle-aged man was sitting next to me with a dark blue, ordinary handbag in his hand >" side ALT Then, he took out his mobile phone from his trouser pocket. I was dizzy. The mobile phone is made of elastic ones. I attached a rolled plastic chain to my waistband. After I took out my phone, I started to look through the text messages. The characters in the text messages were quite large. Just in sight The text message said that I really like you and I feel very happy being with you. Yes The happiest I will love you forever , after reading it, he scrolled down again > The second text message is from the same person, although we can no longer be together in this life. It's impossible to divorce my husband. He's been very nice to me, but I love you. We just Joke Selected 14 We will be husband and wife again in the next life. I will love you forever. . The man sighed softly, put his phone away thoughtfully, and put his pants back on. I clicked in my pocket,> At this time, the subway had already started. He tidied it up for a while and then picked up his broken bag. " He stood up and said something that I will never forget in my life: >" ALT Beijing map, one piece per piece...................... , Beijing map, one piece per piece...................... Beijing map, one piece per piece...... Joke Featured 15 Post about the physical examination for freshman entrance by Chamjeff . It should be to check the heart rate. It's that old-fashioned machine that the doctor hangs by his ear and holds in his hand.> The kind of thing that is heard in the heart." There were so many people queuing up for various inspections at that time. I saw that the queue at one door was relatively small, so I stood in line. There are several men and women in the back and in the front. There are several doctors inside, who are all checking this. When I entered the house, I found that it was almost full of girls. Some of them had lifted their clothes to expose their backs >" Yeah, you can still see the bra from the side My heartbeat was racing at that time. ALT Tragedy occurred When the doctor, male, was measuring me, he asked me why the young man’s heart was beating so fast. I said, hurry up. Doctor Zhang said, sit aside and rest for a while. I sat there for a few minutes and my eyes were full again. My heartbeat was faster. I took another test. Doctor Shi said why it was faster. Then he saw my wandering eyes, which was meaningful. Say let's go, it's okay , get away > Joke Featured 16 Tell a joke about banking business by Spiracle. ,> I heard it from a friend at the bank. That day a young man brought some money and wanted to deposit it into another person's account. So the lady at the counter asked him if he knew that person and he said of course he did, that was my wife >" Because the counter girl casually mentioned the business information, it must not be a scam, right? ALT At this time, the young man hesitated for a while and said slowly that she had already defrauded me of too many things, and she didn’t need this much money. , Joke Featured 17 Toast by AEROSO. ,> I'm a small drinker, so I'm afraid of being toasted. I'll announce it as soon as it's served. Don't treat me as a person when you're drinking." Once when I got together with a foreign employer, I announced it as usual, but someone still brought a drink to toast me. Surprised, what's going on? >" He replied, "Great. I'm not a human either. Let's do it together." ALT , > Joke Featured 18 My computer was hacked by grayfox . MM called me today and said that a warning window popped up as soon as she turned on her computer. > She said someone named Sun Jian seemed to have logged into her computer just now. I didn’t understand, so I just let her know. She sent the details. The result Last login: Sun Jan 30 22:55:08 on console >" xhhmatoMacBook Pro: xhh$ ALT , Joke Featured 19 Jokes my wife told last night by KPI . That is one of the classic jokes in their class,> " Said that one of her male classmates is a fan of Barcelona. I forgot which year, Barcelona vs. Arsenal. Barcelona Won So the classmate yelled happily several times in school Arsenal SB >" Then the physics teacher walked past him with a smile ALT After that, the student was in physics class and the physics teacher kept calling him up to ask questions. The physics teacher is not an Arsenal fan , > Joke Picks 20 . ,> " The physics teacher’s name is Li Asen >" ALT , Joke Featured 21 Translation is really an art. Reprinted from www.top81.org by nkwj. ,> A foreign friend in his fifties loves China because he likes Chinese food and poetry. " One time while eating delicious food and chatting about poetry, the old foreign man said that he admired Confucius very much. A modern Chinese patriotic poet from my hometown is named Zhuang Chongchan. Transliteration: I said I didn’t listen >" After talking about this person, the foreigner recited a poem by this poet to me impromptu in Chinese. ALT Distant Mount Tai show a dark figure A solid foundation Support the shallow high-rise If one day Someone turned the world upside down old tradition , will surely encounter earthquakes and landslides > This is what he translated into Chinese after seeing the English poem. He said this is not the original But the meaning should be similar. Later he said that this poem contains very profound meanings. The meaning of Joke’s selection 22: Foreigners really can’t understand the subtleties of Chinese people, they are so straightforward. He also said that it had a profound meaning and expressed his patriotism in wanting to overthrow the old system and build a new country. feelings I was very embarrassed and said again that I had never heard of this poem, so the old foreign man gave it to me again,> He told some anecdotes about the poet, such as his bohemian life and his affairs with many women. " But he respects women very much. After he discovered that one of his concubines was having an affair with one of his subordinates, Not only did he not hold them accountable, he also paid them travel expenses and let them go. He was more ambitious than King Chuzhuang’s Jueying Banquet. He also said that he attached great importance to filial piety. When he was a child, his mother abandoned him and remarried until he became a high official >" Not only did he not bear any grudge against his mother, he also went out of his way to find her and take her and her stepfather to live with him. Tiannian also said that he was once a high-ranking official with great power in several provinces, but he did not understand military affairs. During the civil war, ALT After being defeated in the war, he was assassinated Normally, based on the above conditions, it shouldn’t be difficult to find out who this person is. But I still haven’t found the person and the person. This poem until one day I saw this poem by Zhang Zongchang Mount Tai looks dark from a distance Thin at the top and thick at the bottom Like turning Mount Tai upside down , thin at the bottom and thick at the top This time I finally understood why the old foreigner said that this poem had a very profound meaning. profound meaning meaning meaning meaning Joke Featured 23 Calabash baby zz from 痗百 by studyman . I saw this by reading XX comics without ads. I thought it was funny, so I wrote it. Originally, > A spoof of comics about Calabash, Seiya, Bekita, Superman, and Ougman. I don’t know " No one has a childhood. He was summoned to fight the boss at the same time. The other four hugged their limbs and waited for the gourd baby. It was a fatal blow. At this exciting moment, Calabash Baby said something that still makes me unable to If you can forget it, maybe it’s because of the black and white comics that you can’t see the color of my clothes. Actually >" I am the second baby ALT , > Joke Featured 24 cute french [zz] by vivisky. ,> http: www.ccthere.com article 3228031 " Cute French [Nanyu Shuanghua] posted on: 2010 12 30 22:47:31 This is my French teacher’s personal experience. It’s so impressive that I can’t help but share it. >" I met two French people. One may be a Chinese teacher and the other may be his student. ALT The teacher happily pointed at the Chinese calendar and said to the students: regarde, ces deux caract'es, ils se prononce nt comme Lei Feng c'est la date faite en souvenir de Lei Feng Qui est un homme trance connu en Chine, connu pour avor a Look at these two The word is pronounced "Lei Feng". This is the anniversary of Lei Feng. He is very famous in China because he was born. I have helped many people before , The student said with admiration: ?ah, tu es trance savant ? Ah, you really have seen a lot Knowledgeable Joke's Selection 25 After that, the two of them left happily. I leaned over and saw "Frost Descent" written on the calendar. Want to tease the stewardesszz by NoGFW. ,> @yeticn " On the plane back to Guizhou last night, I originally wanted to tease the stewardess, but she fucked her and gave me a meal. When I said, do you have a tissue? MM took out a tissue from her pocket and gave it to me, and then asked, do you have a toothpick? She took out the toothpick from another pocket. I was very depressed. I asked again if you have disposable chopsticks. MM >" He handed me the chopsticks and said something that made me petrified. I felt like I was in a dream. via Embarrassing Encyclopedia ALT , > Joke Featured 27 This tmd is Tsinghua University zz from Weibo by htd. ,> Sender: supercm California Dreaming, Area: THU " Title: This tmd is Tsinghua zz from Weibo Sending station: BBS Weiming Space Station Tue Feb 1 21:43:46 2011, Eastern United States >" I was having dinner at Taoliyuan a few days ago. Sitting next to me was a pair of junior brothers and sisters who seemed to be having an quarrel. While eating in silence, the girl lowered her head and looked in a bad mood. I guess the boy provoked him. ALT Then the boy was dumb for a long time and finally spoke. I thought he was apologizing, but he said, but that The integral of the formula definitely cannot eliminate the factors of the trigonometric function. Did you see this? This is Tsinghua University. , Joke Featured 28 Reposted Healthy Boiled Eggs by tom6bj . Once I stayed at a distant relative's house for two days. There was a custom there that children's urine is...> The cleanest one. They boil eggs in children's urine. They say it's good for health. " I dare to eat here, but I have no choice but because people are enthusiastic and keep urging me to eat, eat, eat. I have no choice but to say this. I don't like eggs. My relative is cuter and said, "You can have some soup." >" ALT , > Joke Featured 29 Small black room recommended by bobostat. ,> Let me tell you another joke about MM. MM is my dear MM." MM has been studying dance since she was in elementary school. She has some minor achievements and often participates in performances in the county. >" The main thing is that the teacher in their dance class is so awesome and teaches well ALT MM is very careless. Every time she attends a performance, there will be some trouble. She will throw a fan and handkerchief backstage. Costumes and the like sometimes make it difficult to go on stage. Why is Teacher so angry after losing things three times in a row? Bring your parents along for the next performance. Come , So the next time I performed, my mother was ordered to accompany me. We haven’t entered the backstage yet. Teacher He held up a wallet and asked, “Who lost the wallet?” Black Room Recommendation 30 When my mother saw her own, she quickly raised her hands to claim it. . Teacher He Dao, let MM do it by herself next time. The loss can be smaller. ,> " >" ALT , > Black Room Recommendation 31 . Editor of this issue ,> Joke Featured cu0 " MMJoke recommends ap9 Small black house recommends bhfish wall painter crowyue >" Technical support aotian ALT , Ah, not again Mentioned in crowdyue Xiaozhu's sister LiuBoBo's privately owned masterpiece: : . : : ,> :......................