发信人: Dio (豆豆·我很短), 信区: Joke
标 题: [月刊]很春绿的三月刊 (转载)
发信站: 水木社区 (Wed Apr 16 16:05:51 2008), 站内
___ ____ __ _ ______ ____ _____
| | ╯ |//╯ |╰╯▃◣ ╰╯ | │─ ▎
╭╮ | | |╲ | ̄ ─╱ ╭╮ > / ─_▎ ,;
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄ _ \(/`_
\\|/╲\
<\|/╱ `
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part I : MM优先 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
___ [pic]C楼前面看到的 by:dx617
/ ╲ _ __ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-5-1020
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ [PIC]《最后的晚餐》系列 by:NHivNOiii
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-5-1016
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ [FLV]超欠揍的小猫咪 哈哈 by:deathconquer
│ ▕ / │▕\ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-9-565
│ │ _︳│ │︳[WMV]许愿井 by:wendyyjw
︳ ︳ /@ │︳http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-9-564
| ︳ │ ︳[PIC]看看狗狗跳水 by:biancr
│ \ ︳http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-5-1018 ____ __
" / ╲ "。 " |_ | | ╯ |
"゜ " 。 " ◥╱ | | |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part I : MM优先 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
___ [pic]奥运预言 by:gentlehug
/ ╲ _ __ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-5-1021
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ [WMV]Soccer Player by:onebyone
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-9-563
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ [PIC]IE里面ctrl-a一下看看 by:wolfling
│ ▕ / │▕\ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-5-1019
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 " | | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " | | ╱╭╮
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: 转 糗事二则
___ 作者: llm@荔园晨风 转载: maomiao
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 之一:
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 在年幼无知天真可爱的我还上小学三年级的时候。
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 某日中午,新发了数学练习册。偶包了书皮,写好了作业高高
│ ▕ / │▕\ 兴兴的拿着去上学。
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 风和日丽,太阳当空照,花儿对我笑,小鸟说,中午好,你为
︳ ︳ /@ │︳什么不背小书包?
| ︳ │ ︳ 为什么?我也不知道,如果背了小书包就不会发生这么邪恶的
│ \ ︳事情了。 ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 |_ | | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " ◥╱ | | ╭╮ >
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
我走到教学楼下,忽然很想去WC,于是就把书夹在下巴下面…
___ 具体过程忽略。
/ ╲ _ __ 结果解决完问题之后我的练习册就扑通一声掉下水了。
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 我站在旁边哭了一会儿之后不知所措,只能茫然的向外走。
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 走到楼梯下的水池,刚好有一对四年级的双胞胎姐妹看到我,
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 就说你怎么哭啦?
│ ▕ / │▕\ 我说,我的书掉进厕所了。
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 双胞胎姐妹于是拉着我回到厕所间。帮我把那本书从里面捞了
︳ ︳ /@ │︳出来。
| ︳ │ ︳ 依稀记得本子的一角还搭在一坨根正苗红的便便上。
│ \ ︳ 捞出来之后她们帮我把本子在水龙头下下面冲了 ____ _
" / ╲ "。 冲,还给我说晒干就好了。 | | | |
"゜ " 。 " |_ | |  ̄ |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
清楚的记得那天下午第一节是体育课。我逃了课留在教室里面
___ 晒书。那本书吸了水晒干后皱巴巴的粘在一起,我晒一会儿翻一页,
/ ╲ _ __ 基本上晒的半干了,重新包了书皮教给老师。
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 后来,不知道是当天下午还是第二天。老师请我去办公室,问
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 我说你的书怎么变成这样了?
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 偶可怜巴巴的说,是掉进水里了。
│ ▕ / │▕\ 她说,怎么会掉进水里呢?
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 我低着头说,上厕所的时候不小心……
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 她说,是掉在厕所的水里了?
| ︳ │ ︳ 我说,是掉进茅坑里了。
│ \ ︳ 于是我们可亲可敬可爱的老师带着一副哭腔仰 ____ _____
" / ╲ "。 天长啸伸出一只食指连说带比划,说: | | |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " |_ | | ╭╮|)
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
我是沾着口水一页页翻的啊!!
___ 就是这么一回事。
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 之二:
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 我(女生)很小的时候,爸爸看 A片的时候认为我不懂,所以
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 就不回避我,带我一起看。
│ ▕ / │▕\ 那次我(19岁)跟爸爸一起看一本武侠片。
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 爸爸突然说:“这个人,你还有印象吗?不就是那个人吗?”
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 我根本不知道是谁,但还是附和爸爸的话:“是啊,我记得啊。
| ︳ │ ︳ 爸爸说:“小时候跟你一起看的三 级片里的男
│ \ ︳主角哇。” ____ _____
" / ╲ "。 我无语,早知道不附和他了。 | | |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " | | | ̄ |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: Re: 猪头在做红烧肉
___ 作者: milkwolf 转载: pa1adine
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 她自己说的么……又有BF……
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 实验室类似的事情很多的……
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 我们这里当年每到生日的时候食堂会做长寿面,有两个鸡蛋
│ ▕ / │▕\ 结果某日师弟打了长寿面回来,被我师姐看到了,问了一句
│ │ _︳│ │︳ “别人都有两个蛋,你的蛋在那里呢?”
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 师弟一脸无辜,用筷子把两个鸡蛋从面下面翻上来,说“我的
| ︳ │ ︳蛋在下面啊”
│ \ ︳ 结果实验室众人狂笑…… ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 " | | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " | | |
" "  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: 幻灭
___ 作者: Emiliana
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ A 女,斜躺在床上,左手零食,右手MP4(看小说) ,边吃边嘟
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 囔:“要是现在有个男人无条件养我任劳任怨供我吃供我玩我二话
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 不说立马嫁给他!”
│ ▕ / │▕\
│ │ _︳│ │︳ B 女随手接来,轻描淡写:“可惜啊,这个男人已经
︳ ︳ /@ │︳娶你妈了……”
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 " | | |_ |
"゜ " 。 " | | | |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: nb的电话卡
___ 作者: tl7910
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 这些天,公司里流行iphone,很多人买了iphone就拿到我这里
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 破解,破解完了我就拿旁边同事的 sim卡测试一下能不能打电话。
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳
│ ▕ / │▕\ 今天,又一次用他的电话卡测试了一部iphone,他拿过卡,说“
│ │ _︳│ │︳我的卡已经插过那么多iphone,真可以算得上卡中冠西了”
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 " | | |_ |
"゜ " 。 " | | ╭╮ |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: 流行语妙用
___ 作者: zephyr01
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 去年同事为了帮自己的朋友,拉我在某银行办了一张信用卡,
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 因为平时我没有用信用卡的习惯,所以一直未开户。昨天我准备打
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 电话进行消卡,但是大家也知道的消卡不是那么容易的事情!因为
│ ▕ / │▕\ 客服小姐会问你消卡得原因,我另一位非常要好的同事自告奋勇帮
│ │ _︳│ │︳我打电话消卡。具体对话内容大致如下:
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 小姐:请问您需要什么帮助
| ︳ │ ︳ 同事:我要消卡
│ \ ︳ 小姐:什么时候办理的 __ ____
" / ╲ "。 " 同事:去年5月 ╯ | | |
"゜ " 。 " 小姐:请问您消卡的理由是什么呢? |_ | | |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
___
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 同事:以前很傻很天真。
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 小姐:。。。。。。。。(无语)
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳
│ ▕ / │▕\
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ __ __
" / ╲ "。 " ╯ | ╯ |
"゜ " 。 " | |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: 一个胖妞的尴尬搞笑日记
___ 作者: Lov
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 我,是一个胖妞,我胖故我在。这么多年来我的人生信条:气
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 死赵飞燕羡煞杨玉环。可这只是我的人生信条,在漫漫的生活长路
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 上,还有很多人信奉别的信条,尤其是好色的男人们。我挣扎过,
│ ▕ / │▕\ 可是我的脂肪也挣扎了,最终我败给了它。
│ │ _︳│ │︳ |_
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ ◥╱
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ __ ____
" / ╲ "。 " ╯ | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " | ╱╭╮
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
2007年12月24日多么美妙的节日,我卡住了
___
/ ╲ _ __ 和几个漂亮的同事妹妹决定下午翘班去逛街,以安慰我近好几
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 个月的疲惫忙碌。偷偷地下了写字楼,打算从后门越过栅栏跑到城
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 铁的那端。mm们都从栅栏的空隙钻过去了,由于紧张我没有估算好
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 距离,也钻了,可是没过去。卡在那里,出不去也进不来。mm们左
│ ▕ / │▕\ 拉右拽都没有出来,最后只好打了 110,警察叔叔掰弯了栏杆,我
│ │ _︳│ │︳才脱身。我那个后悔啊,一边听叔叔教导一边后悔自己没长一双猫
︳ ︳ /@ │︳耳朵,这样就能正确地测量宽度了。
| ︳ │ ︳ |_
│ \ ︳ ◥╱ __ ____
" / ╲ "。 " ╯ | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " | ╭╮ >
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
___
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ | | | |
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ | (|@ @|) |
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ | | | |
│ ▕ / │▕\
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 注: 本joke中所有asciiart配图均系作者本人原创,
| ︳ │ ︳ 与刷墙工无关 :-)
│ \ ︳ |_ __ _
" / ╲ "。 " ◥╱ ╯ | | |
"゜ " 。 " |  ̄ |
" "  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
2007年12月31日我恨火锅店的服务员
___
/ ╲ _ __ 这是一年当中的尾子,我们不能不庆贺一下,用来扫掉我们一
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 年中的郁闷。选在了一家火锅店,选址的原因是这家火锅店的羊肉
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 和大虾在特价。羊肉0.88元/盘,大虾0.5 元/只。点菜的时候,妹
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 妹们都点自己能吃的分量,一般每人三盘。轮到我的时候,我比较
│ ▕ / │▕\ 关心每份的重量。服务员耐心的解答:八片,一两五。我想了想还
│ │ _︳│ │︳是不能够确定自己的分量,正犹豫。服务员热心地解答:您吗,先
︳ ︳ /@ │︳点个十盘吧。众mm掩口而笑,我一脸尴尬:为为为什么我要点十盘?
| ︳ │ ︳服务员倒也老实:这是我的经验。众mm继续笑,我暴怒:就来两盘!
│ \ ︳不消五分钟我就吃完了,胃里还是空的慌,可又不好 __ _____
" / ╲ "。 意思再点了,一直饿到吃完饭。 ╯ | |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " |_ | ╭╮|)
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
___
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ / / /
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ \ \ \
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ / / /
│ ▕ / │▕\ | | ORZ 我饿
│ │ _︳│ │︳ | 火锅 |
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ -----------
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ |_ __ _____
" / ╲ "。 " ◥╱ ╯ | |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " | | ̄ |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
2008年2月14日情人节玫瑰的快乐
___
/ ╲ _ __ 不想减肥的女人是瘦女人,不想增肥的女人是胖女人,不想收
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 到情人节玫瑰的女人是傻女人。我不傻,在昨晚我就推算了情人节
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 可能会送我玫瑰的男人数,经过多方论证,最后的结论是:可能数
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 为 0。这个残酷的现实一直陪伴我整整24年了。看着一捧又一捧的
│ ▕ / │▕\ 玫瑰送到了周围mm的手里,我羡慕的要命。一天下来都没有人给我
│ │ _︳│ │︳送,我认识的那些男人都死哪去了,就算是安慰我也可以假装送一
︳ ︳ /@ │︳支阿。我又不是真的要你的爱情,就是为了一些安慰。下了班,骑
| ︳ │ ︳着马路牙子走,失落阿,迎面走来一个帅哥,捧着一大束花向我走
│ \ ︳来,盯着我笑眯眯的,我的心提到了嗓子眼:上帝还 __ ____
" / ╲ "。 是眷顾我的,上帝还是眷顾我的......我几乎忍不住 ╯ | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " 要伸手去抢了,那帅哥开口了: |_ | |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
___
/ ╲ _ __ 不好意思,这花我想转让给你,就按一块钱一朵就行了。我的失落
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 顿时淹没了我:对不起,我不需要玫瑰也能得到爱情!
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳
│ ▕ / │▕\ () ()
│ │ _︳│ │︳ ( \ _ / )
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ || ||
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ __ ____
" / ╲ "。 " |_ ╯ | |_ |
"゜ " 。 " ◥╱ | | |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
2008年3月2日电梯事件
___
/ ╲ _ __ 为什么每次挤城铁挤电梯我总挤不过别人?难道是我没力气还
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 是别人太强悍?今天好不容易赶到公司,看到一堆人等电梯。没办
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 法又得挤。电梯来了,人们涌进去,我又不知不觉成了最后一个。
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 刚上去就听见电梯发出满载警报,大家都在看我,我尴尬地下来。
│ ▕ / │▕\ 可电梯还在警报,有人问:人不多,怎么了?一个男人的声音:电
│ │ _︳│ │︳梯吓着了,还没缓过来。人群爆发出哄的一声笑。我怒了,刚要爆
︳ ︳ /@ │︳发,电梯门合上了。旁边的电梯来了,我一看就我一个人,专梯阿。
| ︳ │ ︳在这上班高峰,能乘坐的专梯我心里美得开了花,刚才的不快扔个
│ \ ︳一干二净。电梯里无人,我忍不住对着镜子做起了鬼 __ ____
" / ╲ "。 脸,一个人轻跳起来。 ╯ | |_ |
"゜ " 。 " |_ | ╭╮ |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
___
/ ╲ _ __ 正美着,电梯打四楼停了,进来一个帅哥,猛盯着我那没收回来的
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 鬼脸看,嘴角挂着笑,生生憋住的笑。
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ —————————
│ ▕ / │▕\ | 电梯 |
│ │ _︳│ │︳ | 0 O O O O |
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ | /|\ /|\/|\( 我)| |
| ︳ │ ︳ | | | | | | | |
│ \ ︳ |—————————| ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 ╰╯ | | |
"゜ " 。 " ╱╭╮ | |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: 我终于想通了(ZZ)
___ 作者: whoisa@饮水思源 转载: POPJASON
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 记得有次在公交上听到旁边一对男女朋友在聊天
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 那男生似乎在督促女生减肥女生就挺不情愿的样子
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 然后聊着聊着那个男的似乎也不开心就开始说 以后不许你吃
│ ▕ / │▕\ 零食!只要含糖的就都不能吃!然后就开始数什么巧克力可乐还有
│ │ _︳│ │︳其他一些似乎是啥饼干的名字反正也没听清等都不能吃
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 那个女生似乎挺怕他男朋友的样子就一直嘟着嘴不说话 突然看
| ︳ │ ︳到她贴着那男生的耳朵说了些什么 然后就看见那男生就瞪着她很生
│ \ ︳气的大声说 那玩意才没有糖呢!! ____ __
" / ╲ "。 ╰╯ | ╯ |
"゜ " 。 " 很多时间过去 刚才一下子我突然就想通了 ╱╭╮ |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: 一位老人和一个小孩的对话
___ 作者: xuanmo
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 有一天一个老人对一个小孩子说:
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 你知道,当年金庸写的14本书可以连成一个对联吗?
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 就是“飞雪连天射白鹿,笑书神侠倚碧鸳”~
│ ▕ / │▕\ 孩子不屑一顾,笑笑说:
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 你知道J.K.罗琳写的7本书也可以连成一句话吗?
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳ |_
│ \ ︳ ◥╱ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 ╰╯ | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " ╱╭╮ ╱╭╮
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
___
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ “哈哈哈哈哈哈哈”
│ ▕ / │▕\
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 ╰╯ | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " ╱╭╮╭╮ >
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: Re: 求推荐个5k左右的本本
___ 作者: LanParty 转载: ksgod
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 恩 神舟不错 看广告都说不错 就葛优那个
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 说:神舟行 我看行
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳
│ ▕ / │▕\
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ ____ _
" / ╲ "。 ╰╯ | | |
"゜ " 。 " ╱╭╮  ̄ |
" "  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: caveman 新解
___ 作者: sunming
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 前几天 看了个巨无聊的电影《这个男人来自地球》
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 然后就把MSN上面加了个caveman
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 本来我也是个无聊的男人 模范宅男 所以就以caveman自嘲
│ ▕ / │▕\ 谁知道今天还没来得及隐身 就被人叫住了
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 一个同城的高中同学 前不久还请我们去了钱柜
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 他:几天不见就成caveman了?
| ︳ │ ︳ 我:哈......[不知道他卖什么药?就打哈哈了]
│ \ ︳ 他:我还是那么可怜,单枪无马,好羡慕你哦! ____ _____
" / ╲ "。 我:???[不知道他什么意思,彻底无语中] ╰╯ | |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " 他:你小弟都 有穴可居了,还装蒜! ╱╭╮╭╮|)
" " 我:@#×&  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: 以前我们女生寝室对面是男寝,有些有趣的事
___ 作者: myd03
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 大一的时候所在的寝室在男寝对面,那时候对着我们四楼的是
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 大三的男生,他们很BT喜欢把音响放到窗户外,而且把声音开很大,
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 于是我们就容易受到骚扰。夏天的时候我们寝室有个彪悍女在午睡,
│ ▕ / │▕\ 对面又放音乐,她终于忍无可忍,爬起来对着对面喊:"那个穿红裤
│ │ _︳│ │︳衩的男生把你们寝室音乐关小点."对面男生听见了,赶紧把音乐关
︳ ︳ /@ │︳了,并且把窗帘拉上,等窗帘打开,他已经穿上了长裤。
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ |_ ____ _____
" / ╲ "。 ◥╱ ╰╯ | |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " ╱╭╮ | ̄ |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
___
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 又有一次,足球比赛.对面的男生又发疯了,拿起洗脸盆敲敲,
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 并且呐喊。结果彪悍女大呼:“小声点!”这次男生们就喊,你们
│ ▕ / │▕\ 大一的新生居然这么凶哦。我可认识你们导员。彪悍女不爽道:我
│ │ _︳│ │︳还认识你了,床铺在右边的那位,天天睡觉穿个蓝短裤。
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 ╰╯ | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " ╱╭╮ |
" "  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: Re: 大家来说说最常见的英文名字吧
___ 作者: paoe
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 呀!
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 还让re啊!
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 说到Monica就想起Jessica
│ ▕ / │▕\ 女同事姓陈,原来英文名字是Jessica,连在一块就是
│ │ _︳│ │︳Jessica Chen,闽南话里面Ka Chen是臀部的意思,Jessi就
︳ ︳ /@ │︳是"这是",连在一块就是JessicaChen"这是臀部"。我告知女
| ︳ │ ︳同事之后,她当然不干了,坚决要改!
│ \ ︳ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 于是选择了Monica! Monica Chen!!! ╰╯ | |_ |
"゜ " 。 " |_ ╱╭╮ | |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
___
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ Monica Chen!!!
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ Monica Chen!!!
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ Monica Chen!!!
│ ▕ / │▕\ 摸你 Kachen!!!
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 ╰╯ | |_ |
"゜ " 。 " ╱╭╮╭╮ |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: 我听过的一个老师
___ 作者: biancr
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 一哥们在高中教物理,他同事,一个教英语的mm,师范刚毕业
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 高中生有些比较叛逆,特别是男生,这个mm管不住他们
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 终于有一天上课一男生捣乱,她怒了
│ ▕ / │▕\ 放学把男生叫过来说,不管你不行了,有本事跟我一起跑到XX县去
│ │ _︳│ │︳(市区到XX县26公里)
︳ ︳ /@ │︳那男生还很嚣张说跑就跑,然后两个人真的开始跑步
| ︳ │ ︳跑到一半那男生差点吐白沫了
│ \ ︳哭着说老师,以后你说什么我都听…… ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 ╰╯ | | |
"゜ " 。 " 那mm在大学是田径队的-,- ╭╮ > | |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: 话说某编辑
___ 作者: candypig
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 外号傻根,恩,其实是在侮辱人家傻根吧orz
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 1 装电脑
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 傻根刚来上班的时候,因为是IT媒体啊,就扔给他一堆散件,
│ ▕ / │▕\ 让他自己把电脑组装起来——虽说是“散件”,但也不过就是机箱、
│ │ _︳│ │︳显示器、鼠标键盘没装到一起而已吧。
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳ 傻根忙活了一上午,去找他小组的组长:“这电
│ \ ︳脑坏的啊。” ____ __
" / ╲ "。 组长:“怎么会?刚测试过啊。” ╰╯ | ╯ |
"゜ " 。 " 傻根:“完全就不亮。” |_ ╭╮ > |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
组长去检查……没接电源。组长十分Orz。
___
/ ╲ _ __ 半小时候之后。
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 傻根:组长,电脑还是坏的啊。
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 组长:不是接了电源了么?
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 傻根:还是不亮。
│ ▕ / │▕\ 组长去检查……没有开显示器。
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 又半小时。
| ︳ │ ︳ 傻根:组长,电脑还是有问题。
│ \ ︳ 组长:……咋啦? ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 傻根:他没反映啊! ╰╯ | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " |_ ╭╮ > ╱╭╮
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
___
/ ╲ _ __ 组长去检查……鼠标没插上……
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 又半小时。
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 傻根:组长……
│ ▕ / │▕\ 组长:*&^&(*^&*!我不管拉!再怎么坏我都不管拉!
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 傻根:我就是来告诉你,电脑能用了……
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 组长:~~~><~~~~
| ︳ │ ︳ |_
│ \ ︳ ◥╱ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 " ╰╯ | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " ╭╮ > ╭╮ >
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
2 写文章与自主意识
___
/ ╲ _ __ 傻根第一次写文章,组长很尽职的给修改好,并对某些地方提
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 出了详尽的修改意见(基本等同于写好了该怎么改,毕竟是新人),
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 邮件发回傻根。
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 傻根回信:组长,看完您的信,觉得您改的很好,但我没时间
│ ▕ / │▕\ 了,就不改了。><~~~~
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 组长:~~~~><~~~~
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 写了一段时间文章之后。
| ︳ │ ︳ 其他编辑:x组长,为什么上期上过的稿子这一期还要上啊?
│ \ ︳ 组长:不可能啊 ____ _
" / ╲ "。 其他编辑:你看,文字和测试一模一样啊? ╰╯ | | |
"゜ " 。 " |_ ╭╮ >  ̄ |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
组长检查……发现傻根同学把上期,上上期,上上上期……的
___ 文章,都是在他写的第一篇文章的基础上,改换了产品名称和测试
/ ╲ _ __ 数据而已……
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 组长&其他编辑:Orz.....
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳
│ ▕ / │▕\ 组长很认真的给傻根改好了文章,邮件发回。
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 傻根:我不改。
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 组长:为什么?
| ︳ │ ︳ 傻根:为什么改?
│ \ ︳ 组长:因为,这个数据,那个数据,这个细节, ____ _____
" / ╲ "。 那个细节……blablabla…… ╰╯ | |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " |_ ╭╮ > ╭╮|)
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
傻根:我上次就这么写的,干吗这次就不行。
___ 组长:……根本是两个产品啊……
/ ╲ _ __ 傻根:哼,你就是不让我有自主意识!那你干吗不自己写!
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 组长:……您的自主意识就是每期写的都一模一样咩?
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 傻根:总之我要有自己的风格!
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 组长:……我求求你改了吧……
│ ▕ / │▕\ 傻根:坚持我的风格!
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 组长:*(^*&^%&^)*(&_((脏话)
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 后来傻根改了文章,并给组长写信致歉。
| ︳ │ ︳ 信件大意是:组长,我就知道你不想让我有自主意思,有自己
│ \ ︳的风格,你一直都这样卡我……如此数千字。最后一 ____ _____
" / ╲ "。 句:我错了,对不起。 ╰╯ | |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " |_ ╭╮ > | ̄ |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
组长当时看完(居然有耐心看完)就喷血了……
___
/ ╲ _ __ 3 写文章的方向
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 傻根测耳机,撰文一篇,1500字,用1000字详细解释了耳轮和
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 耳廓的区别,据称查了好久资料。然后照套以前的文章(还是没改
│ ▕ / │▕\ 啊……)。组长审稿之后,看了看产品就郁闷了。
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 组长:这个按钮很别致,为什么不写一下?
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 傻根:我觉得读者看了就知道这是按钮了,不用写。
| ︳ │ ︳ 组长:……那这个鼠标的xx设计和材质很特别为什么不介绍一
│ \ ︳下? ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 傻根:我介绍了啊。 ╰╯ | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " 组长:你根本就光说了耳轮和耳廓! |_ ╭╮ > |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
傻根:这还不够?那我再说两句。
___ 组长:……这哪儿能看出材质和设计的特别来啊?
/ ╲ _ __ 傻根:这还用说么?读者不会自己看啊。
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 组长:……那你觉得还有啥可以写的?
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 傻根:我觉得颜色满好看的。(写了500字形容银灰色哟……)
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 组长:……
│ ▕ / │▕\
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 4 无题
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳ 傻根特立独行的很,比如用红花油当作香水每日勤恳涂抹,
│ \ ︳ 如每日从早到晚,就算吃饭也都带着一种含笑九 ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 " 泉般欣慰的笑容,比如穿着袜子穿夹脚趾的人字╰╯ | |_ |
"゜ " 。 " 拖……这都不算什么呢。 |_ ╭╮ > | |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
节假日加班,傻根基本没有任何事情要做,但还是来公司,并
___ 且带着一搪瓷缸子(对,就是那种白色带盖子的老实搪瓷缸子)的
/ ╲ _ __ 小二,一只烧鸡,听着“于丹讲庄子”,最发指的是,看的是《大
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 力金刚掌》……Orz
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 所有的人看到那本明黄色封皮的书之后,都绕着走……真好奇
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 是不是在路上遇到一个乞丐说“小伙子,看你天赋异秉,这本绝学
│ ▕ / │▕\ 秘笈正是属于你的啊……”这样的……否则上哪里能买到这样一本
│ │ _︳│ │︳书呢?
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 原本沉默寡言的组长同学,在傻根进组之后,日益出现躁狂症
| ︳ │ ︳的倾向……但对于校对编辑来说,工作量小到不行:因为每一次看
│ \ ︳傻根的文章,基本闭着眼都知道应该校改哪里——因 ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 为每次都是哪一篇母版,错字从来都没改过。 ╰╯ | |_ |
"゜ " 。 " |_ ╭╮ > ╭╮ |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
傻根帮某编辑测试笔记本电脑,把该编辑存在移动硬盘上的,
___ 积攒了好多年的所有测试数据(存档)、测试方法和感想的文章、
/ ╲ _ __ 测试用表格工具、测试软件,全部格式化鸟,还教育该前辈说:看
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 看你,移动硬盘都快满了也不知道整理……该前辈彻底疯掉了。
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 傻根帮另一个前辈测试打印机,所有的测试过程设置全部是错
│ ▕ / │▕\ 的,结果白白耗费了一周的时间和十几包打印纸,前辈看到结果之
│ │ _︳│ │︳后立马疯了,后来不得不连续每天日夜加班才重新完成。
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳ 傻根帮又一个前辈测试板卡,基本上……不断电拔硬盘,暴力
│ \ ︳往下拽显卡等事情都作过了,别提数据,烧得那些配 _ ____
" / ╲ "。 件都让人没脾气。 | | | |
"゜ " 。 " |_  ̄ | | |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
后来没人敢让傻根帮忙测试稍微贵点的东西了。某次一个前辈
___ 让傻根帮忙把所有的显卡都拆下来,傻根蹲在几台机器面前一个上
/ ╲ _ __ 午,前辈好奇的说:拆完没?一上午了都。
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 傻根:怎么拆?我不会……
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 前辈:……~~~~><~~~~(抽自己)。
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳
│ ▕ / │▕\ 太多了,懒得敲了我。总之我一直很好奇:傻根怎能安然无恙
│ │ _︳│ │︳的呆这么久?现在没人敢让傻根做事,就连组长也不敢分配给傻根
︳ ︳ /@ │︳稍微重要的任务。但组长每天的乐趣,似乎就是跟傻根抬一种规则
| ︳ │ ︳完全异于常人的杠……其他人被雷的死去活来……组长那么严肃的
│ \ ︳人,完全不是在kuso的样子……囧rz _ __
" / ╲ "。 我本人文字难以表述出那种生动幽默的场景的万 | | ╯ |
"゜ " 。 " 分之一……只不过憋的难受,不说不行- -  ̄ | |
" " 谢谢看这么长的文m(_ _)m  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: Re: 女子遭强暴后假称“有感觉”骗歹徒留电话zz
___ 作者: linkin 转载: ksgod
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 赞
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 入室强奸,很黄很暴力
│ ▕ / │▕\ 谎称快感,很囧很个性
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 留下电话,很傻很天真
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 公安抓人,很好很强大
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ _ ____
" / ╲ "。 " | | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 "  ̄ | ╱╭╮
" "  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part II: Joke原创 ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
标题: 说个俺的笑话吧
___ 作者: huadie
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 俺的视力一到晚上就盲了,看东西老走样呀,可能小时候撞鬼
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 撞多了.去年冬天,我骑走走西直门桥,远远看着一个人倒在地上,
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 另一个人似乎在那帮他人工呼吸,周围的人都远远看着,没有人上
│ ▕ / │▕\ 去帮忙.我当时还心想:这世界真是冷透了,见个死人也不救.于
│ │ _︳│ │︳是,很英雄地下车,上前冲那人叫了一声:"快叫救护车!"
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 那人回头看了我一眼,愣了.我低头一看,也愣了,妈呀,他
| ︳ │ ︳正拿着刀架在地上那个人的脖子呢,原来是在打架!
│ \ ︳ 拿刀的人或许见我是个MM,就放了地上的人,一声 ____
" / ╲ "。 不吭跑了,地上的人惊魂未定地说:谢谢大哥了! | | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " 让我哭笑不得,明明我是个MM,哪有穿裙子的  ̄ | ╭╮ >
" " 大哥呀,看来他的确晕了,我只好快快地溜走了.  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 生活态度
___
/ ╲ _ __ 序
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 3月13日,一个看似再平常不过的日子。然而就在这一天,一
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 个发在Apple版的帖子意外的吸引了joke版水车的注意...
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 这篇帖子究竟写了些什么,它给joke版带来的了怎样的动荡,
│ ▕ / │▕\ 对joke版是福?是祸?
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 请关注 走进joke 之
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳ 生活态度 之谜
│ \ ︳ _ _
" / ╲ "。 " | | | |
"゜ " 。 "  ̄ |  ̄ |
" "
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 生活态度
___ 标题: apple是一种生活态度
/ ╲ _ __ 作者: maybeparty @newsmth.Apple
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ apple和其他奢侈品不一样,apple是一种生活态度。
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 你有钱了可以买sony或者ibm的高端,甚至E-Go,可以买vertu
│ ▕ / │▕\ 的顶级,甚至GoldVish 但不一定买air或者iphone.
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 因为,apple是一种生活态度。
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 是一种极端的,挑剔与不屑并存,虽万人独往矣的下一秒即使
| ︳ │ ︳不复存在生活态度。
│ \ ︳ |_ _ _____
" / ╲ "。 " ◥╱ | | |╰╯
"゜ " 。 "  ̄ | ╭╮|)
" "  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 生活态度
___ apple不是王者,他对王者这个概念漠然,冷淡,所以对于微软
/ ╲ _ __ 和ibm的怒吼,他抬起迷糊的眼睛说,哦。微软怒了,竟然推出了
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ zune,可笑的,微软不明白,他永远不明白,apple是一种生活态度
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 有关生活态度,都和灵魂有关。
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ apple不是王侯,他对王侯这个地位可笑,嘲笑,如果说他冷淡
│ ▕ / │▕\ 微软,那么他不能没有一个快乐的人生,于是他戏弄
│ │ _︳│ │︳sony、sunsang\dell。
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ apple游离于这个世界之外。
| ︳ │ ︳ 这就是我的感觉,这就是我用了ibook,用了iphone后的感觉。
│ \ ︳ apple,是有生命的感觉,只要,你和他一样有生命。 _____
" / ╲ "。 你就会爱上他的缺点,叫天使崩溃的不通事务。 | | |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " 你也会爱上他的优点,叫魔鬼羡慕的卓尔不群。  ̄ | | ̄ |
" " 纽约第五大道苹果专卖店  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 生活态度
___ 标题: 上joke是一种生活态度
/ ╲ _ __ 作者: Chuckle
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ joke和其他版面不一样,joke是一种生活态度。
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 你有空了可以上饭米粒或者pielove,甚至Stock,可以上特快
│ ▕ / │▕\ 的置底,甚至worklife
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 或其他什么人, 但不一定上joke或者mmjoke.
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 因为,joke是一种生活态度。
| ︳ │ ︳ 是一种极端的,挑剔与不屑并存,虽万人独往矣的下一秒即使
│ \ ︳不复存在生活态度。 _ ____
" / ╲ "。 " |_ | | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " ◥╱  ̄ | |
" "
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 生活态度 joke不是第一大版,他对大版这个概念漠然,冷淡,所以对于
___ 饭米粒或pielove的怒吼,他抬起迷糊的眼睛说,哦。饭米粒火了,
/ ╲ _ __ 竟然讨论万恶的小姑子,可笑的,饭米粒不明白,他永远不明白,
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ joke是一种生活态度,有关生活态度,都和灵魂有关。
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ joke不是王侯,他对王侯这个地位可笑,嘲笑,如果说他冷淡
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 饭米粒,那么一定是当天饭米粒没啥可乐的事情发生。快乐的人生,
│ ▕ / │▕\ 于是他戏弄Stock、MyPhoto/PieLove。
│ │ _︳│ │︳ joke游离于这个世界之外。
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 这就是我的感觉,这就是我上了joke,还要上mmjoke后的感觉。
| ︳ │ ︳ joke,是有生命的感觉,只要,你和他一样有生命。
│ \ ︳ 你就会爱上他的缺点,叫天使崩溃的不通事务。 _ ____
" / ╲ "。 你也会爱上他的优点,叫魔鬼羡慕的卓尔不群。 | | |_ |
"゜ " 。 " 全站热门版面第五大道joke专卖店  ̄ | | |
" "  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 生活态度
___ 标题: 煎饼是一种生活态度
/ ╲ _ __ 作者: dafeifei01
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 煎饼和其他食品不一样,煎饼是一种生活态度。
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 你有钱了可以买鸡翅或者红辣椒的高端,甚至肯德基,可以买
│ ▕ / │▕\ 必胜客的顶级,甚至星巴克的咖啡 但不一定买煎饼或者茶叶蛋.
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 因为,煎饼是一种生活态度。
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 是一种极端的,挑剔与不屑并存,虽万人独往矣的下一秒即使
| ︳ │ ︳不复存在生活态度。
│ \ ︳ |_ _ ____
" / ╲ "。 " ◥╱ | | |_ |
"゜ " 。 "  ̄ | ╭╮ |
" "  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 生活态度 煎饼不是王者,他对王者这个概念漠然,冷淡,所以对于KFC
___ 和麦当劳的怒吼,他抬起迷糊的眼睛说,哦。KFC怒了,竟然推出了
/ ╲ _ __ 油炸春卷,可笑的,KFC不明白,他永远不明白,
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 煎饼是一种生活态度,有关生活态度,都和灵魂有关。
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 煎饼不是王侯,他对王侯这个地位可笑,嘲笑,如果说他冷淡
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ KFC ,那么他不能没有一个快乐的人生,于是他戏弄红辣椒、西门
│ ▕ / │▕\ 鸡翅\各种烤串。
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 煎饼游离于这个世界之外。
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 这就是我的感觉,这就是我卖了一套煎饼,享用了煎饼后的感觉
| ︳ │ ︳ 煎饼,是有生命的感觉,只要,你和他一样有生命。
│ \ ︳ 你就会爱上他的缺点,叫天使崩溃的不通事务。 _____ ____
" / ╲ "。 你也会爱上他的优点,叫魔鬼羡慕的卓尔不群。 |╰╯ | |
"゜ " 。 " 清华小桥煎饼店门口,gprs上网中 ╭╮|) | |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 生活态度
___ 标题: 恒源祥,是一种生活态度
/ ╲ _ __ 作者: deader
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 恒源祥,是一种生活态度
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 你可以像三姑一样长舌,你可以像六婆一样聒噪,但恒源祥,是一
│ ▕ / │▕\ 种生活态度.
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 每次打开电视,看着琼瑶的男女主人公们重复那些情呀爱呀词语,
︳ ︳ /@ │︳你都会不屑的说:
| ︳ │ ︳ 这比恒源祥,不过是小儿科.
│ \ ︳ 恒源祥的态度,是认真,重复不意味着单调,那是 _____ __
" / ╲ "。 对自我价值的肯定; |╰╯ ╯ |
"゜ " 。 " |_ ╭╮|) |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 生活态度
___ 恒源祥的阐述,是详尽,循环不仅仅是轮回,那是前行路上不
/ ╲ _ __ 断地追寻;
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 恒源祥的气势,是果敢,每句斩钉截铁背后,那是坚定不移的
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 信念;
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 恒源祥的声音,是怀旧,多年不变的声音中,那是难以忘却的
│ ▕ / │▕\ 人生;
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 恒源祥的理念.是时尚,随着奥运脉搏跳动,那是与时俱进的
︳ ︳ /@ │︳精神;
| ︳ │ ︳ 恒源祥,是一种生活态度,与庸俗,与浅薄隔绝
│ \ ︳ 在一次次的重复中,心灵受到涤荡, _____ ____
" / ╲ "。 恒源祥,就是一种生活态度. |╰╯╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " ╭╮|) ╱╭╮
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 生活态度
___ 标题: 被封是一种生活态度
/ ╲ _ __ 作者: xinghe
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 我懒得写了:)
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳
│ ▕ / │▕\
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ _____ ____
" / ╲ "。 " |╰╯╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " ╭╮|) ╭╮ >
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 生活态度
___
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 更多生活态度
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳
│ ▕ / │▕\ 请看精华区本期月刊x-6-2-6-2-9
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ _____ _
" / ╲ "。 " |╰╯ | |
"゜ " 。 " ╭╮|)  ̄ |
" "  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 地铁音箱
___
/ ╲ _ __ 序
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 地铁。
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 音箱。
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 老外。
│ ▕ / │▕\ 小孩。
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 有一千个水车
| ︳ │ ︳ 就有一千个版本...
│ \ ︳ _____ _____
" / ╲ "。 " |╰╯ |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " ╭╮|) ╭╮|)
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 地铁音箱
___ 标题: 今天地铁看到一个戏剧性的
/ ╲ _ __ 作者: thank19
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 地铁里,进来3 个老外,嬉皮打扮,其中一个腰上挎着一个音
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 箱,体积还不小,跟一本牛津字典差不多,用线连着手机,在车厢
│ ▕ / │▕\ 边放着音乐,边和同行的人一起唧唧哇哇。
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 过了几站,车厢里来了个乞讨的小孩,身上背着一个音箱,手
| ︳ │ ︳上拿着话筒,一根线连到音箱上,边走边唱边讨钱,也不知道唱的
│ \ ︳什么。 _____ _____
" / ╲ "。 |╰╯ |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " 接着,就发现那挎音箱的老外及其朋友不知 ╭╮|) | ̄ |
" " 所踪…………  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 地铁音箱
___ 标题: 【friends版】今天地铁看到一个戏剧性的
/ ╲ _ __ 作者: meiyaowang
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 场景:地铁五号线
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 人物:Ross、Joey、Chandler、中国小孩
│ ▕ / │▕\
│ │ _︳│ │︳(地铁站嘈杂的声音)
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ |_
| ︳ │ ︳ ◥╱
│ \ ︳ _____ ____
" / ╲ "。 " |╰╯╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " ╭╮|) |
" "  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 地铁音箱
___ Ross:Hey Joe, is this ei a……walkman?(笑)
/ ╲ _ __ Chandler:It's the Oxford dictionary from my office!(众笑)
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ Joey:(加大音量)It makes me more attractive……
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ (冲身边女孩)how are you doing?(女孩走开,众大笑)
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ (讪笑)She doesn't like this song.
│ ▕ / │▕\
│ │ _︳│ │︳(中国小孩挎音箱上,背景音乐莲花落响起)
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳ Chandler:Oh my god, some guy's stuff looks
│ \ ︳ much bigger than yours(众暴笑) _____ ____
" / ╲ "。 Ross:Joey, Joey! Joe…… |╰╯ |_ |
"゜ " 。 " (Ross和Chandler追Joey下) ╭╮|) | |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 地铁音箱
___ 标题: 大腕版,嗯今天地铁看到一个戏剧性的
/ ╲ _ __ 作者: biancr
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 一定得选最好的线
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 雇乞讨的小孩
│ ▕ / │▕\ 背就得背最高档次的音箱
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 话筒直接入音箱
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 声音最小也得四百分贝
| ︳ │ ︳ 什么mp3呀,mp4呀,手机呀
│ \ ︳ 能给他接的全给他接上 _____ ____
" / ╲ "。 音箱上边有救助信,音箱里边有碗 |╰╯ |_ |
"゜ " 。 " 在地铁里站一个乞讨小孩儿 |_ ╭╮|) ╭╮ |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 地铁音箱 戴假发,特可怜的那种
___ 碰到个人(儿),甭管有事(儿)没事(儿)都得跟人家说
/ ╲ _ __ 给点儿吧
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 一口地道的丐帮腔(儿)
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 倍(儿)有面子
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 旁边再雇几个老外
│ ▕ / │▕\ 手机用iphone的
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 一首音乐光容量就得几G
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 再带一个音箱
| ︳ │ ︳ 牛津字典那么厚
│ \ ︳ 就是一个字(儿) 酷 _____ ____
" / ╲ "。 听首歌就得百八十分贝 |╰╯ | |
"゜ " 。 " 周围的人不是美国就是英国的 |_ | ̄ | | |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 地铁音箱 看到那乞讨小孩都不好意思打招呼
___ 你说这样的小孩,一次你得给多少钱?
/ ╲ _ __ 我觉得怎么着也得5块钱吧
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 五块钱那是成本
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 十块钱起
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 你别嫌贵 还不打折
│ ▕ / │▕\ 你得研究施主的施舍心理
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 愿意掏五块钱施舍的施主
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 根本不在乎再多掏五块
| ︳ │ ︳ 什么叫成功人士 你知道吗?
│ \ ︳ 成功人士就是出去讨钱 _____ __
" / ╲ "。 都用最贵的 不用最好的 |╰╯ ╯ |
"゜ " 。 " 所以,我们用音箱的口号(儿)就是 | ̄ | |
" " 不求最好 但求最贵  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 地铁音箱
___ 标题: [CCTV版]Re: 今天地铁看到一个戏剧性的
/ ╲ _ __ 作者: leoooo
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 新闻联播:来访国外友好人士在重申一个中国立场后与国内社会职
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 业工作者在友好的气氛中展开了热烈的会谈,双方就音
│ ▕ / │▕\ 箱问题深入交换了意见。
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳今日说法:2008年3月20号,在北京市地铁1号线发生了一起骇人听
| ︳ │ ︳ 闻的涉外事件,据现场目击者讲述,当时只看到了两名
│ \ ︳ 外籍男子携带黑色不明块状物在地铁上未 _____ ____
" / ╲ "。 停稳时仓皇逃出车厢,下面请看记者的走 |╰╯╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " 访报道。 |_ | ̄ | ╱╭╮
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 地铁音箱
___ 开心词典:王小呀:请问老外来自哪个国家:A:韩国,B:非洲,
/ ╲ _ __ C:美国,你有三个选择,A:求助现场水车,B:拨打场外
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 热线,C:请斑竹去掉一个错误答案。
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 走进科学:[咣~咣~咣~,诡异的背景音乐响起]今年春季,北京地铁
│ ▕ / │▕\ 发生了一起神秘的事件,据在地铁崇文门站工作了近20
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 年的王大妈说,20年来,她从未看到过有老外如此恐惧
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 的从地铁口里连滚带爬的跑出来过,这是真的吗?地铁
| ︳ │ ︳ 里有什么可怕的事发生了?难道传说中的大波罗从地铁
│ \ ︳ 里爬出来了吗?为了解开这个谜,我们派 _____ ____
" / ╲ "。 出了工作人员于三天潜伏到了站台上的垃 |╰╯╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " 圾桶里,下面请看拍摄到的录像. |_ | ̄ |╭╮ >
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 地铁音箱
___
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 非常6+1: 李咏:身上缠满了20块钱一个的小音箱,右手作兰花指
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 状往舞台上一跳,被音频线拌了一下, bia叽摔了个大
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 马趴
│ ▕ / │▕\
│ │ _︳│ │︳呼唤CNN,BBC报道
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ _____ _
" / ╲ "。 |╰╯ | |
"゜ " 。 " | ̄ |  ̄ |
" "  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 地铁音箱
___ 标题: 诗经版:今天地铁看到一个戏剧性的
/ ╲ _ __ 作者: dreamsguest
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 哈哈,再来凑个热闹:
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳
│ ▕ / │▕\ 夷有音箱,良玉为妆。有丐歌唱,行且彷徨。尔箱虽好,何如我音强?
│ │ _︳│ │︳夷有音椟,良革为储。有丐歌嘘,行且踯躅。尔椟虽好,何如我音足?
︳ ︳ /@ │︳夷有音匣,良木为盛。有丐歌咏,行且倥偬。尔匣虽好,何如我音猛?
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ _____ _____
" / ╲ "。 |╰╯ |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " | ̄ |╭╮|)
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part III: Joke行为艺术( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
之 地铁音箱
___
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳
│ ▕ / │▕\ 更多音箱请翻阅Joke精华区x-7-18
│ │ _︳│ │︳
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ _____ _____
" / ╲ "。 |╰╯ |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " | ̄ | | ̄ |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
_
__ ︵ ╮ │╲
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ☆ / │
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) <__╱
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ☆
╭) Part IV: 小黑屋 ( )
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯
标题: 讲讲我们以前的年轻多金的教授闹的笑话~
___ 作者: mkilucely
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 我们教授可是好帅的大帅哥啊!他38岁才结婚,40岁有小孩.现年
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 45岁了.他老婆在北大读博,小孩就他带着.天天忙得要死.
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 记得第一次,他冲冲忙忙进教室,我们就都发现教授门帘没拉上
│ ▕ / │▕\ 去...
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 有个男同学走上去提醒他....
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 有一段时间教授都挺注意的...
| ︳ │ ︳ 隔了一段时间,教授的门帘又没拉上...
│ \ ︳ 后来,那个男生就想出来了一个办法,发现一次没 _____ ____
" / ╲ "。 拉门帘的,就对着他咳嗽一次... |_ |╰╯╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " ◥╱ | ̄ | |
" "  ̄ ̄
_
__ ︵ ╮ │╲
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ☆ / │
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) <__╱
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ☆
╭) Part IV: 小黑屋 ( )
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯
___ 此法果然行得通.只是,每次看见教授在讲台上做的小动作,我
/ ╲ _ __ 们总很有默契的大声讨论问题...
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 但有一次,那男生生病了,课堂上止不住老咳嗽...弄得教授心
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 不在焉,教授失声喊道:我都已经拉上了啊!
│ ▕ / │▕\
│ │ _︳│ │︳ 全班笑得差点拍烂桌子了...
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳ 真人真事.那个教授讲课还是非常精彩的~只是可惜了~粗枝
│ \ ︳大叶的... _____ ____
" / ╲ "。 |╰╯ |_ |
"゜ " 。 " | ̄ | | |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
_
__ ︵ ╮ │╲
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ☆ / │
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) <__╱
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ☆
╭) Part IV: 小黑屋 ( )
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯
标题: 偶这么进来了。。。
___ 作者: abel
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ 终于进了传说中的小黑屋,见到如此多耳熟能详的ID、IP、IQ卡
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ 老警察 新警察 大便衣 小便衣 大zt 小zt 济济一堂
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ 还有经常诈尸的。。原来活跃在这。。。
│ ▕ / │▕\ 甚是壮观 久仰久仰。。。
│ │ _︳│ │︳喜悦之情难以言表,仅以下图 简述下小弟初来贵屋的心路历程
︳ ︳ /@ │︳刚学着做的 参考某交通标志 还忘笑看。。。
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ |_ _____ ____
" / ╲ "。 ◥╱ |╰╯ |_ |
"゜ " 。 " | ̄ |╭╮ |
" "  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
/----\ _
__ / \╮ │╲
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | / \╮ ☆ / │
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ / \) <__╱
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ / ***** \ ☆
╭) Part IV: 小黑屋 ( / ******* \
└╯ ──────── ︶ / ******** \
/ ****** \
___ / **** \
/ ╲ _ __ / ************ \
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ / ************** \
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ / *********** ** \
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ / *** ********** \
│ ▕ / │▕\ / ***** ********* \
│ │ _︳│ │︳ /--- ---- ---******** --------\
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ / *** *** \
| ︳ │ ︳ /--- --- *** -**** ---\
│ \ ︳ / *** *** \ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 /--------------**-----------***----------\ ╰╯ | | |
"゜ " 。 " 一日,偶在pic版闲逛 |_ | | |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄
/----\ _
__ / \╮ │╲
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | / \╮ ☆ / │
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ / \) <__╱
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ / \ ☆
╭) Part IV: 小黑屋 ( / \
└╯ ──────── ︶ / \
/ \
___ / ** \
/ ╲ _ __ / **** ** \
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ / *** **** \
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ / ************** \
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ / ** ** **** \
│ ▕ / │▕\ / **** ** * **** \
│ │ _︳│ │︳ / ****** ************** \
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ / ****** ****** \
| ︳ │ ︳ / **** **** \
│ \ ︳ / \ ____ __
" / ╲ "。 /----------------------------------------\ ╰╯ | ╯ |
"゜ " 。 " 突然发现一贴 很好很强大 |_ | |
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄
/----\ _
__ / \╮ │╲
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | / \╮ ☆ / │
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ / \) <__╱
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ / \ ☆
╭) Part IV: 小黑屋 ( / \
└╯ ──────── ︶ / \
/ \
___ / \
/ ╲ _ __ / \
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ / \
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ / *** **** \
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ / ******* ******** \
│ ▕ / │▕\ / ********** *********** \
│ │ _︳│ │︳ / ************* ************** \
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ / ******************************* \
| ︳ │ ︳ / ******************************* \
│ \ ︳ / \ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 /----------------------------------------\ ╰╯ | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " 我赶紧转到了mmjoke... |_ | ╱╭╮
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄
_
__ │╲
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ------------------------------------- / │
|\// | ||\ | ! ! <__╱
 ̄ ̄ ! ** **** ******** ! ☆
╭) Part IV: 小黑! **** ******** ********** !
└╯ ────── ! ** ** *** *** ** *** !
! ** ** ** ** !
___ ! ** ** ** ** !
/ ╲ _ __ ! ** ** ** ********* !
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ ! ** ** ** ********** !
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ ! ** ** ** *** *** !
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ ! ** ** ** ** ** !
│ ▕ / │▕\ ! ** ** ** ** ** !
│ │ _︳│ │︳ ! ** ** ** ** ** !
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ ! ** *** *** *** *** !
| ︳ │ ︳ ! ** ******** ********* !
│ \ ︳ ! ** **** ****** ! ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 ------------------------------------- ╰╯ | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " zt的m立刻让我心跳加速 |_ | ╭╮ >
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄
/----\ _
__ / \╮ │╲
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | / \╮ ☆ / │
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ / * \) <__╱
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ / *** \ ☆
╭) Part IV: 小黑屋 ( / *** \
└╯ ──────── ︶ / *** \
/ *** \
___ / *** ** \
/ ╲ _ __ / *** *** \
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ / *** **** \
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ / *** **** \
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ / ******** \
│ ▕ / │▕\ / ******* \
│ │ _︳│ │︳ / ****** \
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ / ***** \
| ︳ │ ︳ / *** \
│ \ ︳ / *** \ ____ _
" / ╲ "。 /-----------------*----------------------\ ╰╯ | | |
"゜ " 。 " 可以进入小黑屋 实在让人兴奋... |_ |  ̄ |
" " ◥╱
/----\ _
__ / \╮ │╲
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | / \╮ ☆ / │
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ / **** \) <__╱
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ / ******** \ ☆
╭) Part IV: 小黑屋 ( / ********** \
└╯ ──────── ︶ / ************ \
/ ************** \
___ / **************** \
/ ╲ _ __ / ****************** \
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ / ********* ********** \
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ / ********* ********** \
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ / ********* ********** \
│ ▕ / │▕\ / ********** *********** \
│ │ _︳│ │︳ / *********** ************ \
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ / ************* ************* \
| ︳ │ ︳ / ************* ************** \
│ \ ︳ / \ ____ _____
" / ╲ "。 /----------------------------------------\ ╰╯ | |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " 赶紧寻找xiaoheiwu的入口 |_ | ╭╮|)
" " ◥╱  ̄ ̄
***************************
*************************** _
__ ** ** │╲
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ** ** ** / │
|\// | ||\ | | | | ** **** ** <__╱
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ** ******** ** ☆
╭) Part IV: 小黑屋 ** ** **** ** **
└╯ ──────── ** **** **
** **** **
___ ** **** **
/ ╲ _ __ ** **** **
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ ** **** **
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ ** **** **
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ ** **** **
│ ▕ / │▕\ ** **** **
│ │ _︳│ │︳ ** **** **
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ ** **** **
| ︳ │ ︳ ** **** **
│ \ ︳ ** ** ____ _____
" / ╲ "。 *************************** ╰╯ | |╰╯
"゜ " 。 " *************************** |_ | | ̄ |
" " 长驱直入..... ◥╱  ̄ ̄
__ -------------------------------------
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ! !
|\// | ||\ | | | |! **** !
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ! ****** ! ☆
╭) Part IV: 小黑屋 ! ****** !
└╯ ──────── ! **** !
! ********** !
___ ! * ******* **** !
/ ╲ _ __ ! * ***** * ****** !
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ ! *************************** !
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ ! ** ** ****** !
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ ! ** *** ***** ** !
│ ▕ / │▕\ ! ** ** ** !
│ │ _︳│ │︳ ! ** ** *** !
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ ! ** **** *** !
| ︳ │ ︳ ! ** !
│ \ ︳ -------------------------------------____ ____
" / ╲ "。 前来挖坑罐水..... ╰╯ | ╰╯ |
"゜ " 。 " | |
" " That's all...
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
╭) Part V: roseven ( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
└╯ ──────── ︶ ╯ \
___
/ ╲ _ __
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ _____ _____ ____ _____ ______
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ |╰╯╯ |_ | ╯ |_\ |╰╯╯ |╰╯
│ ▕ / │▕\ ╭╮ | | | | | | ̄
│ │ _︳│ │︳  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
︳ ︳ /@ │︳
| ︳ │ ︳
│ \ ︳ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 ╰╯ | |_ |
"゜ " 。 " | | |
" "  ̄ ̄
加油罗思文! 我们等你回来!
_ _
____ ╱ ╲ ╱ ╲
╱ ╲ / ) ( \
/ _ \ ___ \ / \ /
▕ ▕ ╲ ▏ ___ ╱ ╲ __ \ ▏ ▕ / __ _ ︵
▕ ▕ ▕ ▏ ╱ ╲ ▏ / ▕ ╱ ╲ \ \ / /╱ ╲ / \/ ╲
\ \╱ ╱ / /╲ \\ ╲╱/ ╮ \ \ \ / // ╮ \\ ︵ ▏
▕ _ ╲▕ ▕ ▕ ▕ ╲ ╲▏/╲_╱ \ \/ / ▏/╲_╱ ▏/ \ ▏
▕ ╱ ╲ ╲\ \╱ /╱ \ ▕\ ╲__︵ \ / \ ╲__︵ ▏\ ▕ \
▕ / \ )╲___╱ ╲___╱ ╲___╱ \ / ╲___╱ \ )▕ )
︶ ︶ ︶ ︶ ︶
Joke@NewSmth
聚沙成塔,滴水成海
roseven爱心救助仍在募款中 ____ ____
╰╯ | |_ |
| ╭╮ |
 ̄ ̄
│
__ ︵ ╮ ╲ __ ╱
╯ \ / | ___ ___ ___ | ╭ ╮ ╱ ╲
|\// | ||\ | | | | ︵ ╮ ( ) ─ / <╲ │─
 ̄ ̄  ̄ ︵ ╮ ︶╰ ︶ ╲__/ /
( ) ╱ ╱ ╲
︶ ╯ \
___
/ ╲ _ __ 本期编辑
⊥_ \╱ ╳ ╲ ──────────────
│ ╲ /\╱/ \__│ Joke编辑 Dio ___ __
│ \╲︳▕_╱︳\︳ MMJoke编辑 zhaodc \\ / __ __
│ ▕ / │▕\ XiaoHeiWu编辑 bignetbig \\/ (||) - - ||┘
│ │ _︳│ │︳ ____  ̄  ̄  ̄
︳ ︳ /@ │︳ 刷墙 Kieslowski ◥◤︳
| ︳ │ ︳ ◢>╲︳
│ \ ︳ ______ <◤ ____ ____
" / ╲ "。 " ▕╲ ╱︳ |_ | | |
"゜ " 。 " ▕∕ ̄﹨︳ | | | |
" "  ̄ ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄  ̄ ̄
Sender: Dio Doudou I am very short, message area: Joke
Title: [Monthly] Very Spring and Green March Issue Reprinted
Sending site: Shuimu Community Wed Apr 16 16:05:51 2008 , within the site
> ,;
<
<
Part I: MM is preferred
[pic]Seen in front of Building C by:dx617
http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 1020
[PIC] The Last Supper Series by:NHivNOiii
http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 1016
[FLV] A kitten that deserves a beating haha by:deathconquer
http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 9 565
[WMV]Wishing Well by:wendyyjw
@ http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 9 564
[PIC]Look at the dog diving by:biancr
http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 1018
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Part I: MM is preferred
[pic]Olympic prophecy by:gentlehug
http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 1021
[WMV]Soccer Player by:onebyone
http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 9 563
[PIC]Ctrl a in IE and take a look by:wolfling
http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 1019
@
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Part II: Joke original
Title: Two Embarrassing Things
Author: llm@李荔Morningwind Reprinted by: maomiao
one
When I was young, ignorant, innocent and cute, I was still in the third grade of elementary school.
One day at noon, a new math exercise book was distributed. I wrapped the book cover and finished my homework.
Happy to take it to school
The wind is sunny, the sun is shining in the sky, the flowers are smiling at me, and the bird is saying, "Good afternoon. What are you doing?"
@Why not carry a small schoolbag?
Why, I don’t know. If I had carried a small schoolbag, something so evil wouldn’t have happened.
Something happened
" "
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Part II: Joke original
I walked downstairs to the teaching building and suddenly wanted to go to WC, so I put the book under my chin.
The specific process is ignored
As a result, after I solved the problem, my exercise book fell into the water with a plop.
I stood there crying for a while and then I was at a loss. I could only walk out in confusion.
When I walked to the pool under the stairs, a pair of twin sisters in fourth grade happened to see me.
Just tell me why you are crying
I said my book fell into the toilet
The twin sisters took me back to the bathroom and helped me fish the book out of it.
@ come out
I vaguely remember that a corner of the notebook was resting on a pile of red poop.
After taking it out, they helped me rinse the book under the faucet.
" "Rinse it and tell me to just dry it in the sun.
"゜ " "
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Part II: Joke original
I clearly remember that the first period that afternoon was physical education. I skipped class and stayed in the classroom.
Showing the book. The book soaked up water and dried in the sun until it became wrinkled and stuck together. I left it in the sun for a while and turned the page.
It was basically half dry in the sun. I rewrapped the book cover and taught it to the teacher.
Later, I don’t know whether it was that afternoon or the next day, but the teacher invited me to the office to ask.
I said why did your book become like this?
I said pitifully that I fell into the water.
She said why did she fall into the water?
I lowered my head and said I was not careful when I went to the toilet.
@ She said it fell into the water in the toilet
I said I fell into a pit
So our dear, respectable and lovely teacher looked up to her with a cry
" "Tian Changxiao stretched out his index finger and spoke and gestured.
"゜ " "
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Part II: Joke original
I was drooling as I turned the pages.
That's all
of two
When I was a girl, my dad thought I didn’t understand when watching porn, so
Don’t avoid me, take me to watch with you
That time I was 19 years old and watching a martial arts movie with my dad.
Dad suddenly said, do you still remember this person? Isn’t it that person?
@ I don’t know who it is at all, but I still echo my father’s words: Yes, I remember it.
Dad said that when I was a kid, I watched the guy in the third-rate movie with you.
Protagonist wow
" " I'm speechless. I knew I wouldn't agree with him.
"゜ " "
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Part II: Joke original
Title: Re: Pig head cooking braised pork
Author: milkwolf Reposted by: pa1adine
Did she say it herself? She has a BF again
There are many similar things in the laboratory
We here used to make longevity noodles in the cafeteria every time it was a birthday, with two eggs.
As a result, one day when my junior brother came back from eating longevity noodles, my senior sister saw him and asked him.
Everyone else has two eggs. Where are your eggs?
@ Junior Brother looked innocent and used chopsticks to flip the two eggs up from the bottom and say mine
The egg is down there
As a result, everyone in the laboratory laughed wildly
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Part II: Joke original
Title: Disillusionment
Author: Emiliana
Female A is lying on the bed, snacks in her left hand, MP4 in her right hand, reading a novel, and beeping while eating.
Oh, what if there was a man who could support me unconditionally, work hard, feed me, and play with me?
Don't say marry him immediately
Girl B picked it up casually and said lightly: What a pity. This man has already
@Marry your mother
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Part II: Joke original
Title: nb calling card
Author: tl7910
iPhones are very popular in the company these days. Many people buy iPhones and bring them to me.
After cracking, I will take the SIM card of my colleague next to me to test whether it can make calls.
Today, I tested an iPhone again with his calling card. He took the card and said
My card has been plugged into so many iPhones. It can really be regarded as the crown jewel of the card.
@
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Part II: Joke original
Title: Useful Uses of Buzzwords
Author: zephyr01
Last year, my colleague asked me to apply for a credit card at a bank in order to help his friend.
Because I don’t have the habit of using credit cards, I haven’t opened an account yet. I was going to open an account yesterday.
Cancel the card over the phone. But as everyone knows, it is not that easy to cancel the card because
The customer service lady will ask you why you canceled the card. Another very good colleague of mine volunteered to help.
I called to cancel the card. The specific conversation was as follows:
@Miss, what help do you need?
Colleague, I want to cancel my card
Madam, when did you apply for it?
" " " Colleague last May
"゜ " " Miss, what is your reason for canceling the card?
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Part II: Joke original
My colleague used to be very stupid and naive.
Miss speechless
@
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Part II: Joke original
Title: A Fat Girl’s Embarrassing and Funny Diary
Author: Lov
I am a fat girl. I am fat, so I am. My life creed for so many years is angry.
Zhao Feiyan is so envious of Yang Yuhuan, but this is just my life creed. In the long road of life
There are a lot of people who believe in other creeds, especially horny men. I struggled with that.
But my fat also struggled, and in the end I lost to it.
@
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Part II: Joke original
December 24, 2007 What a wonderful holiday I'm stuck
I and several beautiful colleagues and sisters decided to skip work in the afternoon and go shopping to comfort me.
After months of exhausting work, I sneaked out of the office building and planned to jump over the fence through the back door and run into the city.
On the other side of the iron, the girls all slipped through the gap in the fence. I didn't make a good estimate because I was nervous.
I also drilled through the distance, but I didn’t get through. I was stuck there. I couldn’t get out or get in. mm, left.
I couldn't get it out even after pulling right and left, so I finally had to call 110. The police uncle bent the railing and I
I just got away. I regret it. While listening to my uncle’s teachings, I also regretted that I didn’t have a pair of cats.
@ ears This will allow you to measure the width correctly
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Part II: Joke original
@ @
@ Note: All asciiart images in this joke are original by the author.
Nothing to do with wall painters:
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Part II: Joke original
December 31, 2007 I hate hotpot restaurant waiters
It's the end of the year and we can't help but celebrate it to sweep away our
I was depressed in the middle of the year and chose a hot pot restaurant. The reason for choosing the location was the mutton served in this hot pot restaurant.
And prawns are on special price, mutton 0.88 yuan, prawns 0.5 yuan, only when ordering, sister
The girls all order as much as they can eat, usually three plates per person. When it’s my turn, I compare.
Concerned about the weight of each portion, the waiter answered patiently: eight slices, one or two or five. I thought about it and returned it.
I was hesitating because I was not sure about my own portion. The waiter enthusiastically answered the question. Do you want to go first?
@ Let’s order ten plates. Everyone hid their mouths and laughed. I looked embarrassed. Why should I order ten plates?
The waiter was honest. This is my experience. Everyone continued to laugh. I was furious and ordered two plates.
I finished eating in less than five minutes. My stomach was still empty, but it wasn't good.
" " I meant to order more. I was hungry until I finished my meal.
"゜ " "
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Part II: Joke original
ORZ I'm hungry
hot pot
@
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Part II: Joke original
Happy Valentine's Day Roses February 14, 2008
A woman who doesn’t want to lose weight is a thin woman. A woman who doesn’t want to gain weight is a fat woman. A woman who doesn’t want to lose weight is a fat woman.
Women who get roses for Valentine's Day are stupid women. I'm not stupid. I figured out Valentine's Day last night.
The number of men who might give me a rose. After many arguments, the final conclusion is that the number is possible.
0 This cruel reality has been with me for 24 years, watching handful after handful of
The roses were delivered to the hands of girls around me. I was so jealous that no one gave them to me all day long.
Where are all the men I know dead? Even if it’s just to comfort me, I can pretend to be sending one.
@ Zhia I don’t really want your love, I just want some comfort. I ride after work.
I was walking along the curb, feeling lost. A handsome guy walked towards me, holding a large bouquet of flowers and walking towards me.
Come and stare at me with a smile. My heart is in my throat. God still
" " God is favoring me. God is still favoring me... I can hardly help it.
"゜ " " I was about to reach out and grab it. The handsome guy spoke.
" "
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Part II: Joke original
Sorry, I want to transfer this flower to you. Just pay one dollar for one flower. My disappointment
Immediately overwhelmed, I'm sorry, I don't need roses to get love.
@
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Part II: Joke original
Elevator incident on March 2, 2008
Why is it that every time I squeeze into the subway or the elevator, I can't squeeze through others? Is it because I don't have the strength to do it?
It's because others are too tough. I finally got to the company today and saw a bunch of people waiting for the elevator. I couldn't do anything.
The law had to be crowded again. The elevator came and people poured in. I unknowingly became the last one.
As soon as I got up, I heard the elevator sounding the full alarm. Everyone was looking at me. I got down awkwardly.
But the elevator is still alarming. Someone asked. There are not many people. What's wrong? A man's voice called.
The ladder was frightened and before I could recover, the crowd burst into laughter. I was angry and about to explode.
@发 The elevator door closed and the elevator next to it came. When I saw that I was alone, it was a special elevator.
I feel so happy with the special elevators that I can take in this rush hour. Throw away all my unhappiness just now.
It was completely empty and there was no one in the elevator. I couldn’t help but look in the mirror and make a fool of myself.
" " Face jumped up lightly
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Part II: Joke original
It was so beautiful, but the elevator stopped on the fourth floor, and a handsome guy came in and stared at the one I didn’t take back.
A grimace, a smile hanging on the corner of the mouth, a smile that has been suppressed for life
elevator
0 O O O O
@ I
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Part II: Joke original
Title: I finally figured it out ZZ
Author: whoisa@ Drinking water and thinking about the source Reposted by: POPJASON
I remember once I heard a couple of male and female friends chatting next to me on the bus.
The boy seemed to be urging the girl to lose weight, but the girl seemed quite reluctant.
Then while we were chatting, the man seemed unhappy and started saying, "You are not allowed to eat from now on."
I can’t eat snacks as long as they contain sugar. Then I started counting chocolate, cola and so on.
The names of some other biscuits seemed to be different. I didn’t catch them clearly and couldn’t eat them.
@ That girl seemed to be afraid of her boyfriend, so she kept pouting and didn’t speak. Suddenly she looked
When she said something into the boy's ear, she saw the boy staring at her in anger.
He said angrily that there is no sugar in that thing.
" "
"゜ " " A lot of time has passed and I suddenly figured it out just now.
" "
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Part II: Joke original
Title: Conversation between an old man and a child
Author: xuanmo
One day an old man said to a child
Did you know that the 14 books written by Jin Yong can be connected into a couplet?
It's the flying snow shooting the white deer, the laughing book hero leaning on Biyuan
The child dismissed it and said with a smile
Did you know that 7 books written by J.K. Rowling can also be combined into one sentence?
@
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Part II: Joke original
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
@
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Part II: Joke original
Title: Re: Please recommend a notebook with around 5k
Author: LanParty Reposted by: ksgod
Well, Shenzhou is good. Everyone says it’s good after seeing the ads. Just the Ge You one.
Say Shenzhou Xing, I think it will work
@
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Part II: Joke original
Title: New explanation of caveman
Author: sunming
I watched a really boring movie a few days ago. This man is from the earth.
Then I added a caveman to MSN.
Originally, I was also a boring man, a model otaku, so I laughed at myself as a caveman.
Who knew that someone would stop me before I could become invisible today?
A high school classmate from the same city invited us to the cashier not long ago.
@He becomes a caveman after not seeing you for a few days
I haha...[I don’t know what kind of medicine he sells, so I’m going to fight haha]
I am still so pitiful about him. He is so helpless. I envy you so much.
" " I [don't know what he means, completely speechless]
"゜ " "He, your little brother already has a hole to live in, and he's still pretending
" " I @# &
<
Part II: Joke original
Title: In the past, there was a men's dormitory opposite our girls' dormitory. There were some interesting things.
Author: myd03
When I was a freshman, the dormitory I lived in was opposite the men's dormitory. At that time, the one facing us on the fourth floor was
The junior boys are very fond of putting the speakers outside the window and turning them up very loud.
So we were easily harassed. In the summer, there was a tough girl taking a nap in our dormitory.
The other side started playing music again, and she finally couldn't bear it anymore. She got up and shouted to the other side: "The one wearing red pants."
Boy, please turn down the music in your dormitory." The boy opposite heard it and quickly turned down the music.
@ and closed the curtains. When the curtains opened, he had already put on his trousers.
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Part II: Joke original
There was another football match. The boy on the opposite side went crazy again and picked up the washbasin and knocked it.
And shouted, but the tough girl shouted, "Keep your voice down. This time the boys will shout, you guys"
The freshman is so fierce. Do I know your instructor? The tough girl said unhappily.
I still know you. The one with the bed on the right wears blue shorts to bed every day.
@
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Part II: Joke original
Title: Re: Let’s talk about the most common English names
Author: paoe
ah!
Let’s re!
When talking about Monica, I think of Jessica
The female colleague’s surname is Chen. It turns out that her English name is Jessica. They are put together.
Jessica Chen Ka Chen means buttocks in Hokkien dialect. Jessi is
@ is "this is", together it is JessicaChen "this is buttocks" I told the girl
After working as a colleague, of course she quit and insisted on changing!
" "So I chose Monica! Monica Chen!!!
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Part II: Joke original
Monica Chen!!!
Monica Chen!!!
Monica Chen!!!
Touch you Kachen!!!
@
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Part II: Joke original
Title: A teacher I listened to
Author: biancr
A buddy teaches physics in high school. His colleague is a girl who teaches English. She just graduated from normal school.
High school students are somewhat rebellious, especially boys. This girl can't control them.
Finally one day a boy made trouble in class and she got angry.
I called the boy over after school and said, no matter what happens to you, if you can, come with me to XX County.
26 kilometers from urban area to XX County
@ The boy was so arrogant that he just ran away and then the two of them really started running.
Halfway through the run, the boy almost foamed at the foam.
Crying and saying, Teacher, I will listen to whatever you say from now on.
" "
"゜ " " That mm was on the track and field team in college >
" "
<
Part II: Joke original
Title: Talking about an editor
Author: candypig
The nickname Shagen is actually an insult to others, right orz
1 Install the computer
When Shagen first came to work, because he was in the IT media, I threw him a bunch of spare parts.
Let him assemble the computer by himself. Although it is in parts, it is nothing more than a chassis.
The monitor, mouse and keyboard are just not installed together, right?
@
Shagen has been busy all morning and went to find the leader of his group.
Bad brain
" "Team leader, how come you just tested it?
"゜ " " Shagen is not bright at all >
" "
<
Part II: Joke original
The team leader went to check and the power was not connected. The team leader was very Orz.
half an hour later
Shagen, team leader, the computer is still broken.
Team leader, haven't you connected the power supply?
Silly root, it still doesn’t light up
The team leader went to check and the monitor was not turned on.
@ another half hour
Shagen, team leader, there is still something wrong with the computer.
Team leader, what's up?
" "Shagen, he didn't respond.
"゜ " " >
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<
Part II: Joke original
The team leader went to check and the mouse was not plugged in.
another half hour
Sha Gen Team Leader
Team leader *&^& *^&* I don’t care. No matter how bad you are, I don’t care.
Shagen, I’m just here to tell you that the computer can be used.
@Team Leader ><
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"゜ " " >>
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Part II: Joke original
2 Writing articles and self-awareness
It was Shagen’s first time writing an article. The team leader worked diligently to revise it and made suggestions on certain areas.
Giving detailed revision opinions is basically equivalent to writing out how to make changes. After all, you are a newbie.
Send email back to Shagen
Shagen replied to the team leader. After reading your letter, I think you have done a good job, but I don’t have time.
I won’t change it ><
Team leader ><
@After writing articles for a while
Other Editors
Team leader, it's impossible
" " Other editors, you see, the text is exactly the same as the test.
"゜ " " >
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<
Part II: Joke original
The team leader inspected and found that Shagen had changed the last issue to the previous issue and the last issue to the last issue.
The articles are all based on the first article he wrote, with the product names and tests changed.
Just data
Team leader & other editors Orz.....
The team leader carefully corrected the article for Shagen and sent it back by email.
Silly Gen, I won’t change
@Team Leader Why
Shagen why change?
Team leader, because of this data, that data, this detail
" " That detail blablabla
"゜ " " >
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Part II: Joke original
Shagen, I wrote this last time, why can’t I do it this time?
Team leader, they are basically two products.
Shagen, hum, you just don’t let me have a sense of autonomy. Then why don’t you write it yourself?
Team leader, your sense of autonomy means that you write exactly the same thing in every issue.
Shagen, anyway, I have to have my own style.
Team leader, I beg you to change it.
Shagen, stick to my style
Team leader * ^*&^%&^ * & swear words
@ Later Shagen changed the article and wrote a letter to the team leader to apologize.
The main message of the letter is: Team leader, I know you don’t want me to have my own autonomy and myself.
style, you have always stuck with me like this, thousands of words, the last one
" " Sentence I was wrong, I'm sorry
"゜ " " >
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Part II: Joke original
The team leader actually had the patience to read it and he burst into tears.
3 Directions for writing articles
Shagen tests headphones and writes an article of 1,500 words. He explains in detail the helix and helix in 1,000 words.
The difference between auricles. It is said that I checked the information for a long time and then copied the previous article, but it still hasn’t changed.
Ah, after the team leader reviewed the manuscript, he looked at the product and became depressed.
Team leader, this button is very unique. Why don’t you write about it?
@ Shagen I think readers will know this is a button after reading it, so there is no need to write it.
Team leader, the design and material of this mouse are very special, why don’t you introduce it?
Down
" " Shagen, I introduced you.
"゜ " "Team leader, you just talked about the helix and the pinna >
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Part II: Joke original
Shagen, this is not enough. Then let me say a few more words.
Team leader, how can you tell that the material and design are so special?
Shagen, do you need to say this? Readers won’t read it themselves.
Team leader, what else do you think you can write?
Shagen, I think the color is very beautiful. I wrote 500 words to describe silver gray.
Team leader
4 Untitled
@
Shagen is very unique. For example, he uses safflower oil as perfume and applies it diligently every day.
For example, from morning to night every day, even when eating, there is always a smile.
" " " A smile as happy as a spring, like a herringbone wearing socks and toes.
"゜ " " Drag, this is nothing >
" "
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Part II: Joke original
Working overtime on holidays, Shagen basically didn’t have anything to do, but he still came to the company and
And I brought an enamel jar with me. Yes, it's an honest white enamel jar with a lid.
Waiter, a roast chicken. Listen to Yu Dan talking about Zhuangzi. The most outrageous thing is that what you are watching is the big one.
Power Vajra Palm Orz
After everyone saw the bright yellow book, they walked around. They were so curious.
Did you meet a beggar on the road and said, "Young man, I see you are very talented. This is a unique book."
The secret book belongs to you. Otherwise, where can I buy such a book?
Where is the book?
@ The originally taciturn group leader classmate became increasingly manic after Sha Gen joined the group.
tendency, but for proofreading editors, the workload is too small because every time they read
In Shagen’s article, I can basically tell where I should correct it with my eyes closed, because
" " Which article is the master version every time? The typos have never been corrected.
"゜ " " >
" "
<
Part II: Joke original
Shagen helped an editor test his laptop and stored the edit on the mobile hard drive.
All test data archives accumulated over many years, articles on test methods and reflections
Test form tool, test software, all formatted birds, also educated the senior, look
Look at you, the mobile hard drive is almost full and I don’t know how to sort it out. This senior has gone completely crazy.
Shagen helped another senior test the printer. All the test process settings were wrong.
The result was a week's work and more than a dozen packs of printing paper. After the senior saw the result,
I immediately went crazy and had to work overtime every day and night to complete it again.
@
Another senior from the Shagen Gang tested the board. Basically, he kept powering out the hard drive, which was violent.
I've done everything like pulling down the graphics card. Don't mention the data. Burn those configurations.
" "Everything makes people lose their temper.
"゜ " "
" "
<
Part II: Joke original
Later, no one dared to ask Shagen to help test slightly more expensive things. One time, a senior
Ask Shagen to help remove all the graphics cards. Shagen squatted in front of several machines one by one.
At noon, the senior asked curiously, "Have you finished dismantling it? It's been all morning."
Shagen, how do you dismantle it? I don’t know how.
Senior >< Pump yourself
Too many, too lazy to knock me. Anyway, I have always been curious, how can Shagen be safe and sound?
After staying for so long, no one dares to ask Shagen to do anything. Even the team leader doesn’t dare to assign Shagen to him.
@ A slightly important task, but the team leader’s daily pleasure seems to be to follow the same rules as a fool
Gang is completely different from ordinary people. Others are shocked to death. The team leader is so serious.
This person is totally not what he looks like in kuso 囧rz
" " It is difficult for me to describe the vivid and humorous scene in words.
"゜ " " One part. It's just uncomfortable to hold in. I can't do it if I don't say it.
" "Thank you for reading such a long article m m
<
Part II: Joke original
Title: Re: After being raped, a woman pretended to have feelings and tricked the gangster into leaving her phone number zz
Author: linkin Reprint: ksgod
Thumbs up
Home invasion rape, very pornographic and violent
Lying about pleasure is very embarrassing and very individual
Leave your phone number, very stupid and naive
@ The police arrest people, they are very good and powerful
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Part II: Joke original
Title: Tell me a joke
Author: huadie
My eyesight becomes blind at night. I always see things out of shape. Maybe I encountered a ghost when I was a child.
Too many collisions. Last winter, I was riding on the Xizhimen Bridge and saw a man falling to the ground from a distance.
Another person seemed to be helping him with artificial respiration. Everyone around him was watching from a distance. No one came up.
When I went to help, I thought to myself at that time, this world is really cold, and I can’t save even a dead person.
Yes, he got out of the car very heroically, stepped forward and shouted to the man, call an ambulance.
@ The man looked back at me and was stunned. I looked down and was also stunned. Oh my god.
He was holding a knife to the man's neck on the ground. It turned out that they were fighting.
The person holding the knife probably saw that I was a person and let go of the person on the ground.
" " He ran away without saying a word. The people on the ground said in shock, "Thank you, brother."
"゜ " " Makes me dumbfounded. I'm obviously a girl. How can I wear a skirt? >
"Brother, it seems that he did faint. I had to run away quickly."
<
Part III: Joke performance art
attitude towards life
sequence
March 13th seemed like a normal day, but on this day...
A post posted on the Apple version unexpectedly attracted the attention of the joke version...
What exactly is this post about? What kind of turmoil does it bring to the joke version?
It’s a blessing or a curse for the joke version
Please pay attention to enter joke
@
The mystery of life attitude
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Part III: Joke performance art
attitude towards life
Title: Apple is an attitude towards life
Author: maybeparty @newsmth.Apple
Apple is different from other luxury goods. Apple is an attitude towards life.
If you have money, you can buy high-end products from Sony or IBM, or even E Go and Vertu.
The top ones are even GoldVish but you don’t necessarily need to buy an air or iphone.
Because apple is an attitude towards life
@ is an extreme kind of pickiness and disdain that coexists even though thousands of people are going alone the next second.
No more attitude towards life
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Part III: Joke performance art
attitude towards life
Apple is not the king. It is indifferent to the concept of king. So for Microsoft
Roaring with IBM, he raised his confused eyes and said, Oh, Microsoft was so angry that it actually launched
zune is ridiculous. Microsoft doesn’t understand. He never understands that apple is an attitude towards life.
The attitude towards life is all related to the soul
Apple is not a prince. His status as a prince is ridiculous and ridiculing. If you say he is cold,
Microsoft then he can't live without a happy life so he teases
sony sunsang dell
@ apple is outside this world
This is how I feel. This is how I feel after using an ibook and an iphone.
Apple feels alive as long as you are as alive as him
" " You will fall in love with his shortcomings, the unreasonable things that make the angel collapse.
"゜ " " You will also fall in love with his merits, which are so outstanding that the devil would envy him.
" " Apple Store on Fifth Avenue, New York
<
Part III: Joke performance art
attitude towards life
Title: Joke is an attitude towards life
Author: Chuckle
Jokes are different from other pages. Jokes are an attitude towards life.
When you have time, you can take rice rice grains or pielove or even stock, and you can take express.
The bottom line and even worklife
Or someone else, but not necessarily joke or mmjoke.
@ Because joke is an attitude towards life
It's an extreme kind of picky and disdainful coexistence. Even if thousands of people go alone the next second.
No more attitude towards life
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<
Part III: Joke performance art
As for his attitude towards life, joke is not the first big version. He is indifferent and indifferent to the concept of big version, so for
The roar of rice rice grains or pielove. He raised his confused eyes and said oh, rice rice grains are popular.
It’s ridiculous that my sister-in-law is discussing all kinds of evil. Fan Mili doesn’t understand. He will never understand.
A joke is an attitude towards life. The attitude towards life is all related to the soul.
Joke is not a prince. His status as a prince is ridiculous and ridiculing. If we say he is cold,
Rice rice grain, then it must be that rice rice grain had no coke that day. Happy life
So he teased Stock MyPhoto PieLove
joke is outside this world
@ This is how I feel. This is how I feel after having fun and mmjoke.
A joke is a feeling of life, as long as you are as alive as him
You will fall in love with his shortcomings, the things that make the angel collapse
" " You will also fall in love with his merits, which make the devil envious.
"゜ " " Popular sections on the site Fifth Avenue joke store
" "
<
Part III: Joke performance art
attitude towards life
Title: Pancakes are an attitude towards life
Author: dafeifei01
Pancakes are different from other foods. Pancakes are an attitude towards life.
If you have money, you can buy high-end chicken wings or red chili peppers, or even KFC.
Top-notch pizza from Hut and even coffee from Starbucks, but you don’t necessarily have to buy pancakes or tea eggs.
Because pancakes are an attitude towards life
@ is an extreme kind of pickiness and disdain that coexists even though thousands of people are going alone the next second.
No more attitude towards life
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<
Part III: Joke performance art
Regarding life attitude, pancake is not the king. He is indifferent to the concept of king, so he is indifferent to KFC.
When McDonald's roared, he raised his confused eyes and said, Oh, KFC was so angry that they actually launched
Fried Spring Rolls Ridiculous KFC doesn’t understand He will never understand
Pancakes are an attitude towards life. The attitude towards life is all related to the soul.
Jianbing is not a prince. His status as a prince is ridiculous and ridiculing. If you say he is cold,
KFC Then he can't live without a happy life So he teases Red Hot Chili Peppers Simon
Chicken wings various grilled skewers
Pancakes are out of this world
@ This is how I feel This is how I feel after selling a set of pancakes and enjoying the pancakes
Pancakes feel alive, as long as you are as alive as him
You will fall in love with his shortcomings, the things that make the angel collapse
" " You will also fall in love with his merits, which make the devil envious.
"゜ " " The entrance of Tsinghua Xiaoqiao Pancake Shop gprs is online
" "
<
Part III: Joke performance art
attitude towards life
Title: Hengyuanxiang is an attitude towards life
Author: deader
Hengyuanxiang is an attitude towards life
You can have a long tongue like Third Aunt, you can be as noisy as Sixth Po, but Hengyuanxiang is a
an attitude towards life.
Every time I turn on the TV, I watch the heroes and heroines of Qiong Yao repeat those words of love and love,
@ You will say disdainfully:
This is better than Hengyuanxiang, but it's just child's play.
Hengyuanxiang's attitude is serious, repetition does not mean monotony, that is
" " Affirmation of self-worth;
"゜ " "
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<
Part III: Joke performance art
attitude towards life
Hengyuanxiang's explanation is detailed. Cycle is not just reincarnation, it is an endless process on the way forward.
Continuously pursue;
Hengyuanxiang's momentum is one of courage, and behind every decisive word, there is unswerving determination.
belief;
Hengyuanxiang's voice is nostalgic. Among the voices that have remained unchanged for many years, it is unforgettable.
Life;
Hengyuanxiang's philosophy is fashion, beating with the pulse of the Olympic Games, and advancing with the times.
@ Spirit;
Hengyuanxiang is an attitude towards life, isolated from vulgarity and superficiality
In the repetition again and again, the soul is cleansed,
" "Heng Yuan Xiang is an attitude towards life.
"゜ " "
" "
<
Part III: Joke performance art
attitude towards life
Title: Being banned is an attitude towards life
Author: xinghe
I am too lazy to write:
@
" " "
"゜ " " >
" "
<
Part III: Joke performance art
attitude towards life
More attitude towards life
Please see the highlights of this monthly magazine x 6 2 6 2 9
@
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<
Part III: Joke performance art
The subway speakers
sequence
subway
Speaker
foreigner
Child
@ There are a thousand waterwheels
There are a thousand versions...
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<
Part III: Joke performance art
The subway speakers
Title: Saw a dramatic incident on the subway today
Author: thank19
In the subway, three foreigners came in, dressed as hippies. One of them had a music instrument on his waist.
The box is quite small, about the same size as an Oxford dictionary. It is connected to a mobile phone by a cord in the carriage.
While playing music, I chirped wah wah with my companions.
@ After a few stops, a begging child came into the carriage with a speaker on his back and his hands.
I held a microphone on my head and connected it to the speaker with a wire. I walked around singing and begging for money. I didn’t even know how to sing.
What
" "
"゜ " " Then I found that the foreigner carrying the speaker and his friends didn't know
" " whereabouts
<
Part III: Joke performance art
The subway speakers
Title: friends version I saw a dramatic incident on the subway today
Author: meiyaowang
Scene Metro Line 5
Characters Ross Joey Chandler Chinese child
Noisy sound in subway station
@
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"゜ " "
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<
Part III: Joke performance art
The subway speakers
Ross Hey Joe, is this ei a walkman lol
Chandler It's the Oxford dictionary from my office! Laughter
Joey Turn up the volume It makes me more attractive
Go to the girl next to you. How are you doing? Girl go away. Everyone laughs.
sarcastic She doesn't like this song.
The music of Lotus Falling plays in the background of a Chinese child carrying a speaker
@
Chandler Oh my god, some guy's stuff looks
much bigger than yours
" " Ross Joey, Joey Joe
"゜ " " Ross and Chandler chase Joey
" "
<
Part III: Joke performance art
The subway speakers
Title: Big Name Edition Well, I saw a dramatic scene on the subway today
Author: biancr
You must choose the best line
Hire begging children
You have to carry the highest-grade speakers on your back
The microphone goes directly into the speaker
@ The minimum sound must be 400 decibels
What mp3, mp4, mobile phone?
Pick up everything you can for him.
" " There is a rescue letter on the speaker. There is a bowl inside the speaker.
"゜ " " A begging child stood in the subway.
" "
<
Part III: Joke performance art
The subway speaker wears a wig, which is very pitiful
When you meet someone, no matter what happens, you have to tell them if nothing happens.
Give me some
An authentic beggar’s accent
Bei'er has face
Hire a few more foreigners next to you
Mobile phone for iphone
How many gigabytes does a piece of music have?
@ Bring another speaker
Oxford dictionary is so thick
Just one word: cool
" " Listening to a song costs one hundred and eighty decibels
"゜ " " The people around me are either American or British.
" "
<
Part III: Joke performance art
On the subway speaker, I was too embarrassed to say hello when I saw that kid begging.
How much do you have to pay a child like this?
I think it costs 5 yuan no matter what.
Five dollars is the cost
Starting from ten yuan
Don’t think it’s too expensive, don’t discount it
You have to study the donor’s psychology of giving.
A donor who is willing to give five dollars to charity
@ Don’t care at all about paying an extra five bucks
Do you know how to define the successful people
Successful people just go out and beg for money
" "We use the most expensive ones, not the best ones.
"゜ " " So we use the slogan of the speaker, which is
" " Don't seek the best, but seek the most expensive
<
Part III: Joke performance art
The subway speakers
Title: [CCTV version]Re: Saw a dramatic incident on the subway today
Author: leoooo
Xinwen Lianbo Visiting foreign friendly people discussed with domestic social workers after reaffirming the one-China stance
Industry workers held lively talks in a friendly atmosphere. Both sides discussed the issue.
We had an in-depth exchange of views on the box issue
@ Today's Statement On March 20, 2008, an appalling incident occurred on Beijing Subway Line 1
According to witnesses at the scene of the foreign-related incident, only two people were seen at that time.
Foreign man carrying unidentified black object on subway
" " He hurriedly escaped from the car when it stopped. Please watch the reporter's departure below.
"゜ " " interview report
" "
<
Part III: Joke performance art
The subway speakers
Happy Dictionary Wang Xiaoya Which country does the foreigner come from? A: South Korea B: Africa,
C: United States. You have three options. A: Ask for help from the on-site water tanker. B. Call off-site.
Hotline, C: Please remove a wrong answer.
Entering Science [Boom, boom, boom, weird background music sounds] This spring, Beijing subway
A mysterious incident occurred. It is said that I have been working at Chongwenmen Station of the subway for nearly 20 years.
Aunt Wang, who is 20 years old, said that in the past 20 years, she has never seen a foreigner be so fearful.
@ ran out of the subway entrance rolling and crawling. Is this true? Subway
Something terrible happened. Could it be that the legendary Polo came from the subway?
Did you crawl out of it? In order to solve this mystery, we sent
" " The staff lurked into the garbage on the platform for three days.
"゜ " " In the trash can. Please see the video below. >
" "
<
Part III: Joke performance art
The subway speakers
Very 6 1: Li Yong is covered with small speakers costing 20 yuan each. He has orchid fingers on his right hand.
I jumped onto the stage and was hit by the audio cable. Bia fell hard.
Horse lying down
Call CNN, BBC reports
@
" "
"゜ " "
" "
<
Part III: Joke performance art
The subway speakers
Title: Book of Songs Version I saw a dramatic incident on the subway today
Author: dreamsguest
Haha, let’s join in the fun again
There is a loudspeaker in the barbarian, which is made up of fine jade. There is a beggar singing, walking and hesitating. Although your box is good, how can it be as strong as my sound?
There are musical caskets in the barbarians, and good leather is a treasure. There are beggars singing and booing, walking and wandering. Although your caskets are good, how can I not have enough music?
@ Yi has a sound box, which is full of good wood. There are beggars who sing, and the sound is strong. Although your box is good, how can it be as strong as my sound?
" "
"゜ " "
" "
<
Part III: Joke performance art
The subway speakers
For more speakers, please read Joke’s highlights x 7 18
@
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<
Part IV: The dark room
Title: Tell us about the jokes made by our former young and rich professors
Author: mkilucely
Our professor is such a handsome guy! He didn’t get married until he was 38 years old, and he has a child when he was 40. He is now
He is 45 years old. His wife is studying for a Ph.D. at Peking University, and he takes care of the children. He is extremely busy every day.
I remember the first time, when he hurriedly entered the classroom, we all found that the professor’s door curtain was not closed.
go...
A male classmate walked up to him and reminded him...
@ There was a time when professors were paying attention...
After a while, the professor's door curtain was not closed again...
Later, the boy came up with a way and found that once
" "Whoever pulls the curtain, just cough at him...
"゜ " "
" "
<
Part IV: The dark room
This method really works. However, every time I see the little moves the professor makes on the podium, I
We always have a tacit understanding and discuss issues loudly...
But one time, the boy fell ill and couldn't stop coughing in class... which made the professor upset.
Absently, the professor shouted: I have already zipped it up!
The whole class almost broke the table with laughter...
@
It's a real person. The professor's lecture was still very exciting. It's just a pity and rude.
Daye's...
" "
"゜ " "
" "
<
Part IV: The dark room
Title: I came in like this
Author: abel
I finally entered the legendary little black room and saw so many familiar ID IP IQ cards.
Old police, new police, plainclothes, plainclothes, big zt, little zt, all in one place
There are also people who often fake corpses, so they are active here.
It’s so spectacular that I’ve admired it for a long time.
The joy is beyond words. Just the following picture briefly describes my little brother’s journey when he first came to your house.
@ I just learned to do it by referring to a certain traffic sign and I forgot to look at it with a smile.
" "
"゜ " "
" "
<
*****
Part IV: Little Dark Room *******
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" "
<
Part IV: The dark room
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"゜ " " I suddenly found a post. It's very good and powerful.
" "
<
Part IV: The dark room
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"゜ " "
" " That's all...
<
Part V: Roseven
@
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"゜ " "
" "
Come on, Luo Siwen, we are waiting for you to come back
Joke@NewSmth
Gathering sand into a tower, dripping water into a sea
Roseven Love Aid is still fundraising
<
Editor of this issue
JokeEdit Dio
MMJoke editor zhaodc
Edited by XiaoHeiWu bignetbig
@ Paint the Wall Kieslowski
>
<
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