Sender: mmzt We're missing u Title: [Monthly] The November issue where lettuce is all the rage Sending site: Shuimu Community Wed Dec 9 16:05:27 2009 Source: 219.232.104.62 < > ノ , ' > > , el amor... ヽ , >Part 1MMJoke < > ﹫Space animation Qingluan 365 frames http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 13 18 ﹫[PIC]Poor little girl http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 1013 131 http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 1013 132 ﹫[PIC] Hehe http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 5 1013 122 ﹫[PIC] The snowman brought by the snow http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 1013 124 < > http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 1013 125 ノ ﹫[PIC] Also sent the heavy snow scene [zz] ' http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 1013 123 , ヽ 01 , > Part 2 Joke < > blind date hairtail kissing by depraved Going on a blind date with a girl and having dinner together To respect the girl, I asked her to order She only ordered one dish, a large plate of hairtail So start eating After eating, the girl smiled disdainfully, paid and left. The next day, I talked to the intermediary on the phone. The intermediary told the girl that the boy vomited after eating hairtail. The spines are messy and the tongue is not flexible. Forget it < > ノ ' , ヽ 02 , > Part 2 Joke < > Dao Gao Mo Gao: Parents Chapter bybigcat one When I was in middle school, I secretly watched TV. One day my dad came back and touched it. It was hot and exposed. So he wiped it with a damp cloth and fanned it with a folding fan, giving him the treatment of a master to cool him down. Dad came back and found that there was dust on other parts of the TV. The heat dissipation area was the cleanest and exposed. Persevere, wipe the entire TV and then cool it down physically When my father came back, the TV had just been turned off and he touched the screen directly. He was hit by static electricity and was exposed again. There must be countless colleagues who have experienced the above. However, I don’t know how many people share the same experience in the next paragraph. < > ノ ' two , [to be continued] ヽ 03 , > Part 2 Joke < > I had a week to review at home before the high school entrance examination, and the local cable station happened to be rebroadcasting a joke about Qianlong during the day. So I peek around the clock and my mom caught me and warned me that I will unplug the cable antenna for you tomorrow. The next day, I actually pulled out a snowflake and found it in the gap between the TV cabinet and the wall. After watching Then put it back in its original place. Mom will come back and beat me. The thread has been moved! I will take it away tomorrow! Once again, the thread is really not in the same place. Thinking about the size of my mother’s handbag, I concluded that the thread is still there. I searched like crazy. Next, I found a cardboard box placed under the bed. I learned from the past and didn’t dare to act rashly again. 1 Use a pencil to draw right angle marks on the ground at the two corners of the carton. 2. Draw a tangent line to position the coil on the carton. 3 Position the two ends of the antenna with the position marks on the carton 4 Position the cross position mark of the antenna coil < > 5 Fortunately, the thread is very clean and the dust on the carton is not obvious. Wipe it all. ノ Then I dare to open it and take a look. Even though I have to sacrifice half an hour every day to get it, But I still watched enough TV for a week, ヽ 04 , > Part 2 Joke < > Dao Gao Mo Gao: Husband Chapter bybigcat Inscription: The troubles in life always happen again I have been on vacation at home since last Thursday. My husband told me to go out more and do more activities. No Internet access! Uh, where? I can bear it first day My husband is back and surfing the Internet < > No, no Husband, the swivel chair was moved and the slippers were moved too.' I , [to be continued] ヽ 05 , > Part 2 Joke < > the next day Before surfing the Internet, take a photo with your mobile phone. After surfing the Internet, restore it according to the picture, such as the way the cotton slippers were crushed by stepping on it. The position of the wheels of the chair. The direction of the backrest. A pen with its cap removed on the table. I sighed in my heart. Technology changes life. Wow, when there were digital cameras back then, why did we draw so many lines? Husband is online again Even no Husband, I never turn off the monitor when I turn off my phone, but you turn it off every time < > Even ノ ' The third day, [to be continued] ヽ 06 , > Part 2 Joke < > Or take a photo and restore it, and remember not to turn off the monitor. Husband, are you online again? Oops, really not Husband, please explain what’s going on with this milk box. I’m really annoyed that the milk carton was not visible from the angle when I took the photo and restored it!!! Day 4 < > ノ Take photos and restore without turning off the monitor without leaving any debris. From the time I saw my husband msn ' I went offline and cleaned up the scene. I also tidied up the living room. My husband came back safely. [to be continued] ヽ 07 , > Part 2 Joke < > My husband is online again and he just turned off the computer. How could it be? No Husband, isn't it time for you to watch Secret War? Why is the TV not on? If you don't have access to the Internet, what can you do? forget It’s not that the enemy is too cunning, it’s that the enemy knows me too well. < > ノ ' , ヽ 08 , > Part 2 Joke < > Chapter 1 of Dao Gao and Mo Gao's Parents bybigcat Reminds me of a history of struggle Before the college entrance examination, for various reasons, I slept in the living room. I often turned off the lights at night and pretended to sleep, but in fact I watched TV. Still fascinated by the replay of Fire Rose At that time, it was an old house with three bedrooms and 0 living rooms. One room was used as the living room, so I usually heard from my parents. There is no problem if the bedroom door rings and the TV is turned off by remote control. The only hidden danger is the power indicator. lamp So I cut a small piece of paper and painted it black with a marker pen and pasted it on the indicator light. It worked! < > Take it off during the day and put it on again at night. In this way, I almost finished reading Fire Rose ノ I just folded it on the day of the finale. I was so absorbed in watching it that I didn’t close it until the door to my parents’ house rang.’ Mom came in and saw everything was normal. [to be continued] ヽ 09 , > Part 2 Joke < > only......... I'm lying in bed with my glasses on The black paper trick was completely exposed and was violently scolded > < < > ノ ' , ヽ 10 , > Part 2 Joke < > My math teacher is genius and smart by stoney The weather is cold. Let me tell you a joke to warm up the atmosphere. My high school math teacher was incredibly smart. He said it himself, a very cute old man. Then he To prove that he was very smart, he told us a story about when he was in school. That was when I was in elementary school. No, it wasn't an elementary school, it was a private school. Because our family is poor. The key is that I am still short, especially those from rich families who are tall. My tall kids always bully me < > There is a big ditch on the road from our home to the private school. In winter, it is covered with a thin layer of ice ノ Every time I pass by a ditch, someone suddenly rushes out from a distance and hits me. Kick your foot in, ヽ 11 , > Part 2 Joke < > My cotton-padded jacket and hat were soaked through, and I was as cold as a chicken. As soon as I climbed up, they all ran away. I don't know who kicked me. The key is to scare me. I'm not even sure. I was kicked down as soon as I was ready. Later, I learned to be smarter. Hahahaha. He laughed proudly three times... I will come later. Once I see someone coming behind me, I will jump in first. Wow hahahaha Ha ha Finished < > ノ ' , ヽ 12 , > Part 2 Joke < > Classmate interview by Abely The interviewer asked how to sell combs to monks A classmate saw this case and said it could be sold to pilgrims who go to temples to offer incense. The interviewer said that it can only be sold to monks, not pilgrims, and it must be used by monks. The classmate held it in for a full minute and then said, "Master, look, this comb is okay." Comb your legs < > ノ ' , ヽ 13 , > Part 2 Joke < > Once I went to a manga bar and rented a copy of Kindaichi, and I was filled with guilt as soon as I saw the second page... by HAL9000 One time I went to a manga bar and rented a book called Kindaichi As soon as I saw the second page, I was filled with guilt. Some god damn thing drew a circle on a certain character with a blue ballpoint pen. write down < > ノ ' This is the murderer, ヽ 14 , > Part 2 Joke < > Lu Xun loved eating winter dates by killfast Today I heard a winter jujube seller shouting to his customers, "The winter jujubes we melt are delicious, Lu Xun, you" You know, Lu is Shandong. Our great writer in Shandong has loved to eat our Zhanhua winter dates since he was a child. But at that time In the old society, my family is too poor to afford it. This child is so greedy that he can’t concentrate in class and uses a knife all the time. The word "jujube" was carved on the desk... < > ノ ' , ヽ 15 , > Part 2 Joke < > What happened just now in front of a Beijing bank ATM with tens of thousands of people by cyberangel A woman occupied the cash machine for a long time and punched out receipts from time to time. I was waiting in line at the back and got really impatient. I took a look and found that the balance was displayed on the screen. insufficient The woman was still pressing the withdrawal button to collect the typed receipts. Five minutes passed, and the woman left with a thick stack of receipts in her hand, heading towards the bathroom. < > ノ ' , ヽ 16 , > Part 2 Joke < > News I saw this morning by T195 A reporter was at a gas station early yesterday morning Reporter, hello everyone. I'm at a gas station in Beijing now. The price of oil is going to rise in more than 20 seconds. Let's see. Not many people came to refuel. Judging from the picture, there was not a single car. It started around 10 o'clock in Beijing. Snowflakes are falling... Okay, it's already early in the morning, and the staff has updated the price tag and lens. Aim at the price tag. A car is coming. The reporter goes to interview the driver. < > Reporter, may I ask why you came to cheer at this time ノ Driver, I heard that the gas price was going to be raised in the evening. I hurriedly came to refuel. I didn't expect it to snow.' Reporter, congratulations. You are our first customer after the oil price rise. ヽ 17 , > Part 2 Joke < > Colleague mm is embarrassed in class by zualt On the way to work in the morning, my colleague mm told me about the class she gave to undergraduate students yesterday. I showed a ppt to students in class. My colleague mm felt that there were too many pages and it was too long. It would take too much time to read page by page. Just tell the students I drag it, you see Students are agitated and many boys smile evilly My colleague mm reacted for a moment, feeling that she had made a mistake, so she quickly changed her explanation. Look, < > Students were in an uproar ノ Oops ' , ヽ 18 , > Part 2 Joke < > The trust game seen on Weibo by snoopy2009 I was shopping with my BF once and had to take the subway home, so I told my BF to play a trust game. I closed my eyes and he acted as my eyes and led me to walk. I persisted for a long time until I successfully landed on the ground. iron Soon my BF helped me sit down. He squatted in front of me. I still closed my eyes and stayed with me. whisper in ear I can't open my eyes. This seat was given to me by someone else. So I kept my eyes closed until I got off the subway < > ノ ' , ヽ 19 , > Part 2 Joke < > [Follow another one] Today my dad and I had an embarrassing incident together by GGxMM Today I went to see my grandpa with my dad. While I was putting on my makeup, my dad had already gone out and told me to drive the car to the gate of the community. Wait for me I hurriedly masturbated a few times and then rushed outside. I saw a black car parked at the door. I opened the door. Jumped up He yelled, “Dad, I’m fast enough today, right?” But I heard the voice of a strange man in the driver's seat: Hey, today is really weird. I felt something was wrong. I took a closer look and saw that it was a neighbor who looked familiar but I hadn’t spoken to him < > Holding the phone and looking at me weirdly ノ Sorry, I got into the wrong car. I was about to get out after saying that, and then I heard him say, " That's right. My wife got into your car and I was about to chase them. [to be continued] ヽ 20 , > Part 2 Joke < > Faint to death Later, my father said that he didn't even notice that he saw a woman getting into the car and drove away. < > ノ ' , ヽ 21 , > Part 2 Joke < > Primary school teacher is very happy by SunFollow I have a friend who works as a teacher in an elementary school. He is very tough. The class monitor is a fat guy who is very principled. 1 In a certain open class, all the students in the class need to go on stage to give ppt lectures. This little fat guy is responsible for squatting under the desk and operating. The computer was facing away from the blackboard. After the lecture, everyone was amazed that the ppt switching was very accurate. The teacher was very curious. I asked how I did it. Answer: When the other students were about to turn the page, they kicked me in the butt. One kick. By the time everyone is finished talking, my butt is swollen. 2 Chicken Leg Incident There was a nutritious lunch with chicken legs. The teacher said, take a chicken < > Give the legs to Teacher Yang and leave a chicken leg for me. As a result, the little fat man said to the teacher seriously: ノ Although you are a teacher, I don't mind giving you my chicken legs, but isn't this bad? The teacher's jaw dropped on the spot. Two students asked for leave today and didn't come. Why don't you? [to be continued] ヽ 22 , > Part 2 Joke < > Why don't we get the chicken legs from those two classmates? Before leaving the house, the little fat man turned around and added, "Don't leave first." Eat. If the chicken legs are not enough, I will ask you. The teacher immediately took a big bite on the chicken legs. 3 One day, the teacher was riding a mountain bike on the street wearing a cool helmet, knee pads and other complete bicycle equipment. At the red light, I was shaking my feet in boredom while waiting. At this moment, a car stopped next to me and opened the window. The little fat man was very excited and shouted x teacher. The teacher was so embarrassed that he felt that he had no image at all. He immediately told him Said you got the wrong person, you didn't see me, got on the car and dodged others, the mother in the car was already there Laughing. The next day, the little fat boy felt aggrieved and went to the teacher and said, "Yesterday, I thought you were cool." I wanted to ask you if you wanted to drink water, but the teacher said something harsh. You didn’t see me. You are not allowed to tell me. As for whether the teacher's image has been ruined among students, it is unknown < > ノ ' , ヽ 23 , > Part 2 Joke < > How big is the Chinese Academy of Sciences? by ziyounvzhu@Keyuanxingkong, reproduced by btob Dinner with college classmates Male student, how big is your college of science? I quoted Dean Ma’s words in his entrance speech, as big as China is, the Chinese Academy of Sciences is as big as China. The female classmate said longingly, wow, will there be a day when the Chinese Academy of Sciences will be able to show how big the earth is? How big is it? How big is the universe? How big is the Chinese Academy of Sciences? I Male student, that’s not the Chinese Academy of Sciences, that’s the Korean Academy of Sciences < > ノ ' , ヽ 24 , > Part 2 Joke < > Have you ever encountered any embarrassing incidents with twins? by fallenboy I have a female classmate who is a twin. They are both very good at studying. One from P, one from T and one from T each went there. Because they are not in the same school, people who are not familiar with them don’t know that they are one of the twins. One Christmas because both of us were single My sister came to T University to play with her sister, but she just walked downstairs to her sister I met a boy from mm's class and got a big bouquet of flowers. Kneel down and be my girlfriend < > My sister's face turned red and she held it in for a long time before saying "ノ" ' If I agree, don't regret it. ヽ 25 , > Part 2 Joke < > Taking the subway this morning by SunFollow It was very crowded. There was a very cute girl next to me who was texting. I accidentally looked at it. I noticed that she wrote: There were many people in the car today and it was very crowded. After a while, I remembered something and laughed a few times. I looked back unintentionally and saw the girl continuing to write. There was also a SB standing next to her... < > ノ ' , ヽ 26 , > Part 3 Black Room < > He's hungry for our pork head meat. by Goodgone Yesterday I went out to play, and I was stuck everywhere with my SLR. Pat this, pat that, pat In the alley, I saw an old man leading a little girl in front of me, followed by a little poodle carrying a Steaming braised pork head in a plastic bag Hungry, I stared at the steaming pork head and the aroma spread everywhere. I swallowed my saliva. My son started cooing, I’m so hungry. Suddenly, the little girl asked the old man, "Grandpa, why is that dog behind us always following us?" ノ The old man said he's hungry for our pork head meat. , ヽ 27 , > Part 3 Black Room < > It’s snowing. Let’s write poems. by ygs I'll play two songs first Snow Also lonely Don't want to be alone They hugged each other Quietly < > sprinkled on ノ you ' , [to be continued] ヽ 28 , > Part 3 Black Room < > Lihuaxue poetry It turns out it can Write like this Snow It seems possible Floating like that < > Heart ノ Maybe ' , [to be continued] ヽ 29 , > Part 3 Black Room < > Like snow at a loss < > ノ ' , ヽ 30 , > Part 3 Black Room < > Re: It’s snowing. Let’s write poems. by bein9 into one orange Also sweet Maybe once green But it matures after the autumn rain sweetly Falling towards stomach < > ノ Snow ' It turns out you can, [to be continued] ヽ 31 , > Part 3 Black Room < > So low orange Of course it can So sour pig but must Watch version < > Delete post ノ ' , ヽ 32 , > Part 3 Black Room < > Re: It’s snowing. Let’s write poems. by Goodgone Snow in the day and windy in the evening Staring at A Fang infatuatedly Thousands of feet of snow outside Epang Palace Can the laurel tree withstand wind and frost? I admit acrostic < > ノ ' , ヽ 33 , > Part 3 Black Room < > Re: It’s snowing. Let’s write poems. by A4P8T6X9 Heavy snow enters northern Xinjiang during siege To see the clear sky, you have to go to Nanyang Aunts and uncles sit in rows It’s nice to enjoy the cool under the laurel tree < > ノ ' , ヽ 34 , > Main creative staff of November 2009 monthly magazine < > MMJoke editor yoo & NotBusy Jokeedit mmzt Black House recommended trek Artist Kieslowski Wall painting plug-in provided by aotian < > ノ Friendly reminder 1. For more exciting content, please see the joke version x 14' 2. Voting after reading the monthly magazine is a virtue... , ヽ 35