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↑ The April issue of Kieslowski under the shadow of H1N1[2009]

发信人: i88i (对称好), 信区: Joke 标题: [月刊]H1N1阴影笼罩下的四月刊发信站: 水木社区 (Tue May 5 22:24:43 2009), 站内 _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ |= ▌ |= |= ▌ |= 珍爱生命远离H1N1 |= ▌ |= |= ▌ Bless本版众猪头 |= |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ Part I - MMJoke推荐 = |= ▌ |= ·[PIC]清明上河图之城管来了版 wenziwang |= ▌ http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=52636 |= ·小宾馆里的那点破事儿 cheerblues |= ▌ http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=53777 |= ·跟我抢沙发~~~ gxts |= ▌ http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=52534 |= ·[PIC]只看备注 Jtr |= ▌ http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=52614 |= ·图几张 Azurewrath |= __ _ __ http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=52611 |=<01| │\ ╱(_\______ 〕￣ /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ Part I - MMJoke推荐 = |= ▌ |= ·[PIC]完美的球～～ (转载) paulnewman |= ▌ http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=53739 |= ·[PIC]PP (转载) Lsweet |= ▌ http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=54240 |= ·[FLV]一只囧猫：）笑翻了 yoo |= ▌ http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=53706 |= ·最新的漫画 (转载) goldboy |= ▌ http://www.newsmth.net/bbscon.php?bid=872&id=53681 |= |= __ _ __ |=<02| │\ ╱(_\______ 〕￣ /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢接电话 |= ▌ clary |= |= ▌ 手机不爱锁键盘，放在兜里不知不觉就拨出长途。于是，我一个远在外 |= 地姓艾的朋友，排在通讯录的最前面，常被我误拨的电话骚扰。 |= ▌ 今天伊在网上遇见我，说：“中午你的手机键盘又没锁吧?” |= 我大汗，心想又打扰人家了，赶紧答：“啊...我，我对不起你~” |= ▌ 伊平静地：“应该是我对不起你...” |= “？？？” |= ▌ “我接了12个。” |= “...><...” |= __ _ __ |=<03| │\ ╱(_\______ 〕￣ /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢师姐的诱惑2(x) |= ▌ PatoMilan |= 师姐的诱惑2 感受 |= ▌ |= 室友和师姐终于住在一起啦。难得回来跟我们吃顿饭，说起上周末他俩 |= ▌ 和一群同事去玩真人CS的真人笑话: |= 因为大家都是第一次玩，觉得时间过的很快，不知觉地一下午就过去了。|= ▌ 结束的时候，教练让每人都说一句感受。第一个小伙子说，好累啊，不过挺 |= 爽的；她女朋友站他旁边，说就是时间太短了，下次得早点来；第二个哥们 |= ▌ 说，我老婆太猛了；他老婆接着说，像你，就知道窝着~~~。。。轮到室友 |= __ 啦，他说的是我好高兴获得了胜利，下次要换个狙击枪玩玩。教练说， |=<04| _ __ |= ￣ │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = |= ▌ |= 你们现在说的其实就是你们洞房花烛夜时的感受~~~~~~~~~~ |= ▌ 你们现在说的其实就是你们洞房花烛夜时的感受~~~~~~~~~~ |= 你们现在说的其实就是你们洞房花烛夜时的感受~~~~~~~~~~ |= ▌ |= |= ▌ 众人笑得人仰马翻，唯独师姐的脸色很难看，原来师姐说的是， |= |= ▌ |= __ |=<05| _ __ |= ￣ │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = |= ▌ |= |= ▌ |= |= ▌ 教练对我真好~~~ 教练对我真好~~~ |= 教练对我真好~~~ 教练对我真好~~~ |= ▌ 教练对我真好~~~ 教练对我真好~~~ |= |= ▌ |= __ |=<06| _ __ |= ￣ │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢同事家小孩 |= ▌ longwood |= |= ▌ 同事家小孩，2岁多点。同事说前晚把小孩送回外公外婆家没多久，停电了。 |= 外公把蜡烛拿出来点上放在桌上。小孩见了突然大唱生日歌，然后把蜡烛 |= ▌ 噗一口吹灭了。全家一片漆黑。 |= |= ▌ |= |= __ ▌ |=<07| |= ￣ _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢影子（X） |= ▌ Lionking2001 |= |= ▌ 昨天和几个好朋友去吃饭，其中有一对couple，骑车回学校的路上说起 |= 他们以前的糗事。 |= ▌ 那时两个人还没正式在一起，一天夜里两个人在学校里游荡，都憋的不 |= 行了，但附近没有洗手间。眼看四周没人，旁边就是草坪，便轮流在草坪上 |= ▌ 解决了。 |= A君便调侃那个女生道:“那你是不是看到一个地上有一条长长的黑杠?” |= __ ▌ B君接着说：“你是看到那条黑杠才决定和他在一起的吧？” |=<08| 众人爆笑 |= ￣ _ __ 这时女生花枝乱颤地接到:“是啊,数学没学好,忘记乘sin(alpha)了。” |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢本科室友的两件事 |= ▌ misu |= |= ▌ 1. |= 当时学校旁边有个网吧叫“天下网络”，寝室一哥们整天去那泡着玩 |= ▌ war3，回头还跟我们来一句：“身在X大，心系天下”…… |= |= ▌ 2. |= 有一天隔壁同学叫我跟“心系天下”那哥们去超市，走了一半路，我俩 |= __ ▌ 问他去买啥,他说:刷牙杯。“天下”那哥们说:cao,打个小怪还带俩英雄…… |=<09| |= ￣ _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢今天去动物园玩儿 |= ▌ FMCC |= |= ▌ 朋友来找我玩，聊天说好久没去动物园玩儿了 |= 刚好天气不错，于是今天跑去动物园。 |= ▌ |= 人长大了，进动物园的心情果然不一样： |= ▌ |= __ 看到孔雀开屏，旁边的小盆友们高兴地大喊好漂亮啊！ |=<10| ▌ 而我们则是关注着公孔雀和它前面的母孔雀，大喊推倒它！ |= ￣在我们的鼓动下，公孔雀果然就骑上去了…… |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = |= ▌ |= 走到虎园，发现一些虎笼是空的 |= ▌ 工作人员解释说老虎被带到前面去表演了 |= 正说着一只老虎慢慢悠悠走出来 |= ▌ 我说：哦，这还有一只只卖身不卖艺的-,- |= |= ▌ 再往前是猴山，旁边一ppmm指着一只红屁股的母猴问：这只猴子大姨妈 |= __ 来了？怎么pp红了 |=<11| ▌ 周围人瞬间被雷倒，她gg在旁边小声解释说：你注意看，猴子屁股都是 |= ￣红色的………… |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = |= ▌ |= |= ▌ 经过蟒蛇馆，一只刚刚进食的蟒蛇，为了让吃下去的东西往下咽，就把 |= 头仰起来，慢慢伸长脖子，一直站到比人还高，就看见身上一块鼓鼓的东西 |= ▌ 慢慢往下移动估计很少看见蟒蛇立这么高，不知道该怎么形容，旁边一哥们 |= 很兴奋地指着蟒蛇对旁边的mm说：“快看！勃起了！这么高！” |= ▌ 周围空气瞬间凝结…… |= __ |=<12| ▌ |= ￣ |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢Re: 洗澡用的浴花（不X) |= ▌ yuyuxym |= |= ▌ 当年上大学，准备离家的东西 |= 我想啊~~人家洗澡都用浴花，好多泡泡看起来真好~~我都一直只有毛巾…… |= ▌ 现在都上大学了~~买个浴花奢侈一下吧 |= 于是我就在夜市上花2块钱买了一个 |= __ ▌ 第二天收拾东西， |=<13| 我爸在旁边，拿着我买的天蓝色的浴花问我：“这你买的？” |= ￣ ▌ 我说“是啊”心想~难道2块钱都不能奢侈一下啊，赶紧补充“两块钱~” |= 我爸把浴花扔到箱子里，说：“买这东西干啥？这戴头上能好看么？！” |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢也写个师生间的 |= ▌ wenlly |= |= ▌ 我是MM。 |= |= ▌ 1、晚上的课，看见学生有的打瞌睡，有的打哈欠，为了表示理解，我温柔 |= 地说：“你们很困是吗？我能理解，别说你们，一天下来，我也很困啊。” |= __ ▌ 一男生：“老师，一起睡吧！” |=<14| 哄堂大笑。 |= ￣ ▌ |= |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = |= ▌ |= |= ▌ 2、讲日心系是准惯性系， |= 我：“日心系，日——太阳，以太阳......” |= ▌ 在破折号阶段，学生开始笑， |= 我愣了下，明白他们为什么笑了，心想：“这些孩子！” |= __ ▌ 然后，竟然自己也忍不住笑了一声。 |=<15| 于是，哄堂大笑。 |= ￣ ▌ |= |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = |= ▌ |= |= ▌ 3、找学生回答问题，他不会，于是请他找其他同学替答， |= 该生问：“找谁啊？” |= ▌ 我：“随便啊，你喜欢谁就点谁。”大家都笑。 |= __ 该生显得很为难，犹豫一会儿，点了个女生，又是一阵笑。 |=<16| ▌ 后来我想，他确实不敢点男生。 |= ￣ |= ▌ |= |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢《男人装》 |= ▌ FenRagwort |= |= ▌ 今天天气很好，我出去买《男人装》。走到报亭的时候，看见《男人装》|= 改版了，报亭的大妈对我说，这本杂志卖得贼火了，都是跟《青年文摘》学 |= ▌ 的，以至于此。你看，都改半月刊了，这不就是学的《青年文摘》么。它分 |= __ 白版红版，咱也得学，不过咱是时尚杂志，名字也得有时尚味，所以咱就分 |=<17| ▌ A版、B版。现在已经是14号了，上半月的卖光了，没有了，所以我就拿了一 |= ￣本《男人装B》走回了家。 |= ▌ |= |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢也说小时候 |= ▌ yunzhengxw |= |= ▌ 小学一年级某天，有人咚咚咚敲门，我打开一看，是两个年轻的叔叔 |= 叔叔说：小朋友，你家有没有凳子借我们用一下？ |= ▌ 我：嗯……这个…… |= __ 叔叔说：小朋友，你们老师怎么跟你说的啊，是不是说要助人为乐？ |=<18| ▌ 我想想，是啊，是要助人为乐来着 |= ￣于是打开铁门，递出凳子 |= ▌ |= 然后那俩叔叔踩上凳子，拧下偶们楼道的灯，走了…… |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 爸妈回来后，当然我被好一通说。〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = |= ▌ 过了几天，俺爹的同事老李伯伯受命来修偶们楼道的灯 |= 又咚咚咚敲门:“妹仔啊，我是老李伯伯,借张凳子啊,伯伯要修电灯。” |= ▌ 俺在屋里：“不开！不借！爸爸说不可以的！” |= 老李伯伯：“乖啊，不是别个，是伯伯啊！” |= __ ▌ 俺：“就不开！就不借！呜……你快点走了啦……” |=<19| |= ￣ ▌ 嗯，因为是上班时间，整个单元就俺这个早放学的小朋友在，于是老李 |= 伯伯悻悻的走了。 |= ▌ |= 据说伊回头还跟我爸表扬我说，你女儿太聪明了，实在是太聪明了！ |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢D座到C座的烦恼(y) |= ▌ wangby |= |= ▌ 公司一直在D座，告诉别人的时候总要额外叮嘱是ABCD的D， |= 然而仍然有人以为是ABCD的B。 |= __ ▌ 没办法，谁让咱们发音不准哪。 |=<20| 前几天，搬家到了C座，这下总该没有ABCD的烦恼了。 |= ￣ ▌ “我们公司在C座1234”。 |= “扯，你们那栋楼根本就没有东座西座！” |= ▌ 嘟嘟嘟…… |= ~ |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢卖兔子的牛老板 |= ▌ xiaofeizi |= 一对夫妻和一个7，8岁的小女孩路过一个卖兔子，仓鼠的街边摊，小女 |= ▌ 孩看了看可爱的兔子死活要买，夫妻不太想给小女孩买，小女孩大哭，卖兔 |= 子的老板也在那里火上添油要夫妻买，后来爸爸领着小女孩去旁边吃冰欺凌 |= __ ▌ 了，妈妈犹豫不觉得中，于是在那里询问老板，这兔子干不干净，会不会死？|=<21| 老板说，不会死，放心好了。妈妈又说，要是兔子死了，就怕女儿伤心就不 |= ￣ ▌ 好，这时候老板说，对于孩子的教育问题，我最有经验，如果兔子活着就是 |= 对孩子爱的教育，让她从小就有爱心，如果兔子死了就让孩子知道世界上有 |= ▌ 死亡，也是一种伤心教育。妈妈说如果兔子被孩子整残废了？老板说，那证 |= 明这孩子心狠，能做大事。。。 |= _ __ 。。。 |= │\ ╱(_\______ 妈妈买了兔子在大囧的表情中离去。。。。。〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢买睡裙归来 |= ▌ bnuwind |= |= ▌ 我下午购物归来,特意买了黑色半透明丝质小睡衣,跟出差的老公视频展 |= __ 示战利品.老公连声称赞衣服漂亮.对话如下: |=<22| ▌ 我: 要哄好哥哥,为了家里的长治久安:) |= ￣老公: 妹妹越发会买东西了! |= ▌ 我:哎哟,要让哥哥做举人. |= 老公哈哈大笑:我要做进士! |= ▌ |= |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢骨肉相连(y) |= ▌ long |= |= ▌ 大家知道，有一种烤串叫做“骨肉相连”，老婆很喜欢吃，每次去有烤 |= __ 串的馆子总会要。 |=<23| ▌ |= ￣一日，与老婆外出就餐，自然又点了骨肉相连，坐在位子上翘首以盼。 |= ▌ |= 一会，一小弟拿着放烤串的托盘走了过来，放桌子上，热心的说：“你 |= ▌ 们的骨肉。”我和老婆对视片刻，大惊。 |= |= _ __ 遂再不点这个骨肉相连。 |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢福州见闻 |= ▌ dpblue |= 前些天去福州，在一个小巷的派出所门口等人的时候，一辆奥拓迎面开来 |= ▌ |= __ 开车的是一个像黑社会一样的小混混，一身烂衣戴着墨镜全身吊儿郎当 |=<24| ▌ |= ￣他的小奥拓当然也是改装得花里胡哨张牙舞爪招摇过市 |= ▌ |= 那车开过来的时候我就想，这样的车在屁股后面当然会贴着一条nbhh的标语 |= ▌ |= 车子大摇大摆和我擦身而过的同时我一回头，果然，车后赫然写着 |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = |= ▌ |= |= __ ▌ |=<25| |= ￣ ▌ |= 你是我大爷随便超 |= ▌ |= |= ▌ |= |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢小狗见鬼(真实) |= ▌ polk |= 我和我老妈都迷信，相信风水之说，相信这世界有神有鬼。　　 |= __ ▌ 　　我有一个朋友，一家三口经常生病，连连出事。据老人说他们家附近曾 |=<26| 经是一口很深的水塘，有好几个人淹死在水塘里，所以那块地风水不好。说 |= ￣ ▌ 来也怪，朋友搬家之后了，他家里也就太平了。 |= 　　所以在我自己买房以前，特意去打听了小区的历史。还好，附近的人都 |= ▌ 告诉我，这小区以前是一个挂车厂，旁边小区是一个酱油厂。听起来天下太 |= 平。 |= ▌ 　　于是放心地签下合同、办入住、装修、搬家，顺便把我的小狗也从老家 |= 接过来了。老妈天天晚上带着小狗在小区散步，日子过得挺滋润的。　　 |= _ __ 　　突然有一天晚上，老妈遛狗回来，问我这小区以前是干吗 |= │\ ╱(_\______ 的，当她听到是挂车厂后松了一口气。原来最近她和小区的遛〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = |= ▌ |= 狗人都发现，小狗们经过５号楼后面小桥旁边时总是不对劲，它们怎么也不 |= __ ▌ 肯往前走，都拼命尖叫，好象看到什么很吓人的东西一样。　　 |=<27| 　　于是大家都在讨论，说是小狗小猫是通灵的，能看到人看不到的东西， |= ￣ ▌ 难道那儿有什么不对劲？小狗看到了人看不到的东西？接着大家也在推测小 |= 区这块地是不是以前有什么蹊跷。想是这么想，说是这么说，可毕竟懒人比 |= ▌ 好奇的人要多，也没人去一查到底。没想到第二天就出事了。　　 |= 　　第二天晚上，老妈可不是牵着狗回来的，她慌慌张张跑回来，紧紧地抱 |= ▌ 着小狗。小狗也夹着尾巴，不动也不叫，也好象受了天大的委屈一样，可怜 |= 巴巴地望着我，看上去真叫人心疼。。。 |= _ __ 　　都怪老妈，她比谁都好奇，比谁都霸蛮。原来晚上她们一 |= │\ ╱(_\______ 起遛狗时，又经过５号楼后面小桥那儿，小狗们又都不肯往前〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = |= ▌ |= __ 走。别人都抱着小狗走过去了。只有我妈她非硬拖着小狗走过去。没想到， |=<28| ▌ 我家摇摇一走过去，一声惨叫，然后跳起老高，神色凄惨，紧接着不停尖叫 |= ￣不停翻滚，那叫声凄惨得完全不象正常的声音，象是鬼魂的声音一样。我妈 |= ▌ 吓傻了，还是别人提醒她赶快把小狗抱起来，我妈才抱着小狗跑开。这下所 |= 有的人都知道那儿是一个有问题的地方了。　　 |= ▌ 　　到底小狗真的看见鬼魂了？难道有人偷偷在那块地下埋了什么诡异的东 |= 西？一具尸体？所以鬼魂出来吓人了？第三天，真的有人打电话给物业了。 |= ▌ 可是偷懒的物业拖了好几天才去查看。 |= 。。。 |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 。。。〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 。。。待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = |= ▌ |= __ |=<29| ▌ |= ￣ |= ▌ 　　原来事情的真相是这样的简单。小桥旁边有一盏路灯，路灯的基部不知 |= 出了什么问题，有些漏电，但电流很弱，人穿着鞋是感觉不到的，只有小狗 |= ▌ 能感觉到。可怜我们家摇摇，被我妈硬拖着触了一回电，差点成了电烤狗。 |= |= ▌ |= |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢公司裁员，遇到雷人的一幕zzzzzzzzz |= ▌ ActionWind |= __ |=<30| ▌ 前几天公司裁员，我被Hr拉去和员工谈话，给大家n+1的补偿。 |= ￣谈到一个应届毕业生A时，遇到了雷人的问题。 |= ▌ 我：介于公司发展，战略目标，预算等等原因（先铺垫一下），公司不 |= 得已做出人员调整的决定。 |= ▌ A：我理解，现在大环境不好。 |= 我：谁说不是呢，所以你可以有更好的一些选择，公司决定给你 n+1的 |= ▌ 补偿，因为你是应届毕生生，上班不到1年，公司给你3个月补偿金。（说实 |= 话，我觉得条件不错了。3个月不用干活呢） |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = |= __ ▌ A：我也理解公司，不过我现在怀孕了，所以公司要重新考虑这个问题。 |=<31| 我惊了：什什什什。。。什么！！！你不是刚毕业吗。。。怎么就怀孕 |= ￣ ▌ 了。。。 |= Hr关键时候发话了：怀孕的具体情况不是口头说就可以的，需要医院的 |= ▌ 检查和证明。。 |= A：我带了。我有三甲医院的证明！！ |= ▌ 我更晕了，平时上班还带着这个。。。。 |= HR说，那我们重新要考虑这个问题........ |= ▌ 结果：最后这MM拿了23个月的补偿金（怀孕2个月,所以8个月+12个月哺 |= 乳期+3个月） |= _ __ 太爽了。。。。。这MM拿了钱，直接请部门所有人大吃了一顿。 |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅡ - Joke原创评选 = ﹢刚才的电话回复 |= __ ▌ Fenbid |=<32| 在单位，一个电话打座机过来 |= ￣ ▌ |= 俺很有礼貌地：“喂，您好” |= ▌ |= 对方：“您好，今年是我们中国太平洋保险公司成立20周年……” |= ▌ |= 俺及时地：“哦，那祝贺你们，再见” |= ▌ |= 对方懵了：“谢谢” |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅢ - 小黑屋曝光 = ﹢我另一个大学同学 |= __ ▌ salute |=<33| |= ￣ ▌ 大一那会，全宿舍都没手机，她烧包，买了一手机，但又嫌电话费贵， |= 跟我们说没急事别打她手机。 |= ▌ 她住上铺，晚上睡觉的时候，怕辐射就把手机扔在床头大家共用的书桌 |= 上。 |= ▌ 有一天晚上，熄灯之后，我们无聊，就逗她，说拿她手机打宿舍固定电 |= 话，一个人打，一个人去接，就这么一直浪费她电话费。 |= ▌ 刚拨通，姐们急了，一下子从床上跳下来，抓起固定电话听筒说，我看 |= 你们谁敢接，然后啪一声挂了。 |= _ __ 我们全宿舍都笑疯了。 |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅢ - 小黑屋曝光 = __ crowyue原创 yeting改编 |=<34| ▌ |= ￣话说那天我和mm出去散步，路边猫啊狗啊挺多的， |= ▌ mm特别喜欢小动物，看得可开心了 |= 突然她停住不走了，蹲下来逗起了脚边的一个小家伙 |= ▌ “哎，狗狗真乖”（拍拍头） |= “是狐狸狗吧？看这张小嘴”（挠挠下巴） |= ▌ “这耳朵真好玩”（摸摸耳朵） |= “颜色挺特别的呀，还带花斑呢”（捋捋背） |= ▌ “来，狗狗给我叫一个”（揉揉小前脚） |= |= _ __ 那小家伙还真听话，开口就叫 |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ 待续... |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ PartⅢ - 小黑屋曝光 = __ |=<35| ▌ |= ￣ |= ▌ |= |= ▌ |= “喵~~” |= ▌ [注]不是外语. |= |= ▌ |= |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶ _ _ _ __ ___ ─ _||_||<|- · |||︳|=_︳ ────── ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ￣ ▁ 编辑人员名单 = __ zt没有发烧，众水车请放心tx~ → |=<36| ▌ |= ￣ __ _ _ _ |= ▌ │|┤|- |- |\||_) |= ────────────────── |= ▌ 主编: biancr |= MMJoke编辑: yoo |= ▌ Joke编辑: i88i |= 小黑屋编辑: yutourr |= ▌ 刷墙工: Kieslowski |= |= _ __ |= │\ ╱(_\______ 〕 /▕[_|___ ├-- ___ __ |│ / (__|￣￣￣ _ ︵_/\╱ \/ |│ (__/ 〔 / ︳ - ┤o ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ |│ ︺ ——〔_╱ˋo__00) —— ︶

Sender: i88i symmetry is good, message area: Joke Title: [Monthly] April issue under the shadow of H1N1 Sending site: Shuimu Community Tue May 5 22:24:43 2009 , within the site < Cherish life and stay away from H1N1 Bless version of pig heads [ o o 00 < Part I MMJoke Recommended [PIC] Qingming Riverside Scene: City Management Is Here Version wenziwang http: www.newsmth.netbbscon.php?bid 872&id 52636 The shit in the little hotel cheerblues http: www.newsmth.netbbscon.php?bid 872&id 53777 Grab the sofa with me gxts http: www.newsmth.netbbscon.php?bid 872&id 52534 [PIC]See only notes Jtr http: www.newsmth.netbbscon.php?bid 872&id 52614 Some pictures of Azurewrath http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 52611 <01 [ o o 00 < Part I MMJoke Recommended [PIC]Perfect Ball Reposted by paulnewman http: www.newsmth.netbbscon.php?bid 872&id 53739 [PIC]PP reproduced Lsweet http: www.newsmth.netbbscon.php?bid 872&id 54240 [FLV]An embarrassing cat laughed so hard yoo http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 53706 The latest comics reprint goldboy http: www.newsmth.net bbscon.php?bid 872&id 53681 <02 [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Answer the phone clary My phone doesn't like to lock the keypad. I keep it in my pocket and make long distance calls without realizing it. So I'm far away alone. My friend named Ai is at the top of my address book and is often harassed by calls I make by mistake. Yi met me online today and said, "Your mobile phone keyboard is unlocked at noon, right?" I was sweating profusely, thinking that I had disturbed others again. I quickly answered, "Ah...I, I'm sorry for you." Yi calmly said I should be sorry for you... I picked up 12 ...><... <03 [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Senior Sister’s Temptation 2 x PatoMilan The Temptation of Senior Sister 2 Feelings My roommate and my senior sister finally live together. It’s rare that they come back to have a meal with us. Let’s talk about them last weekend. A real-life joke about going to play real-life CS with a group of colleagues: Because it was the first time for everyone to play, I felt that time passed quickly, and the afternoon passed without realizing it. At the end, the coach asked everyone to express their feelings. The first boy said, "I'm so tired, but I'm doing well." It was great. His girlfriend stood next to him and said that the time was too short. He had to come earlier next time. Second buddy. He said that my wife is too fierce. His wife then said, "Like you, you know how to hide. It's the roommate's turn." La. What he said was that I was so happy that I won. Next time I will try using a sniper rifle. The coach said <04 [ to be continued... o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection What you are talking about now is actually how you felt during the wedding night. What you are talking about now is actually how you felt during the wedding night. What you are talking about now is actually how you felt during the wedding night. Everyone was on their feet with laughter. Only the senior sister looked ugly. It turned out that what the senior sister said was <05 [ to be continued... o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection The coach is so good to me The coach is so good to me The coach is so good to me The coach is so good to me The coach is so good to me The coach is so good to me <06 [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Colleague’s children longwood My colleague’s child is a little over 2 years old. My colleague said that not long after he sent the child back to his grandparents’ house the night before, there was a power outage. Grandpa took out the candles, lit them and put them on the table. When the child saw him, he suddenly sang happy birthday and then put the candles on the table. It was blown out with a puff, and the whole house was darkened. <07 [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Shadow Lionking2001 Yesterday I went to dinner with some good friends, including a couple. I talked about it on the way back to school by bike. Their past embarrassments At that time, the two of them were not officially together yet. One night, the two of them were wandering around the school, both of them couldn't hold it in anymore. Okay, but there is no restroom nearby. Seeing no one around, there is a lawn next to it, so I take turns on the lawn. solved Mr. A teased the girl and said: Did you see a long black bar on the ground? Mr. B then said, you decided to be with him only after you saw the black bar <08 Everyone burst into laughter At this time, the girl received the message with trembling excitement: Yes, I didn't learn math well. I forgot to multiply sin alpha. [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Two things about undergraduate roommates misu 1. At that time, there was an Internet cafe next to the school called Tianxia Network. A friend from the dormitory went there to hang out all day. war3, tell us something later: I am in X University, but my heart is about the world. 2. One day, my classmate next door asked me to go to the supermarket with my friend, who is caring about the world. We walked half the way. Asked him what he was going to buy, he said: toothbrush cup in the world. The guy said: cao, fight a monster and bring two heroes <09 [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Go to the zoo today FMCC A friend came to play with me and told me that he hadn’t been to the zoo for a long time. The weather happened to be nice, so I went to the zoo today As people grow up, the mood of entering the zoo is indeed different. When I saw the peacock spreading its wings, the little friends nearby shouted happily that it was so beautiful <10 And we were paying attention to the male peacock and the female peacock in front of him, shouting to push it down. With our encouragement, the male peacock rode up. [ to be continued... o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection When I walked to the Tiger Park, I found that some of the tiger cages were empty. The staff explained that the tiger was brought to the front to perform Just as he was talking, a tiger slowly walked out I said, oh, here is another one who only sells his body but not his art. Further ahead is Monkey Mountain. A ppmm next to me pointed at a female monkey with a red butt and asked, "What's the aunt of this monkey?" Here comes why is pp so popular <11 The people around were stunned for a moment. She explained in a low voice beside her: "Pay attention, monkeys are all over their butts." Red [ to be continued... o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection Passing by the boa constrictor house, a boa constrictor that had just eaten was eating something. I raised my head and slowly stretched my neck until I stood taller than a person. Then I saw a bulging thing on my body. Slowly moving down, I guess it’s rare to see a python standing so high. I don’t know how to describe it. There is a buddy next to me. He excitedly pointed at the python and said to the girl next to him, "Look, it's erect. It's so high." The surrounding air condenses instantly <12 [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Re: Bath flowers for bathing are not yuyuxym When I went to college, I was preparing to leave home. I think, people use bath flowers when taking baths. It looks so nice to have lots of bubbles. I only have towels all the time. Now that I'm in college, why don't I buy a bathtub to be a luxury? So I bought one at the night market for 2 yuan Packing things the next day <13 My dad was standing next to me, holding up the sky blue bath flowers I bought and asking me, did you buy this? I said, yes, and I thought, can’t I spend 2 yuan to be extravagant? I quickly added, 2 yuan. My dad threw the bath spray into the box and said, why did you buy this? Does it look good on your head? [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Also write about the relationship between teachers and students wenlly I am MM 1 In the evening class, I saw some students dozing off and some yawning. To express my understanding, I was gentle. Say, you are sleepy, right? I understand. Don’t talk about you. I am also sleepy at the end of the day. A boy, teacher, let’s sleep together <14 Laughter [ to be continued... o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection 2. The heliocentric system is a quasi-inertial system I use the heliocentric system sun as the sun... During the dash stage students begin to laugh I was stunned for a moment and understood why they were laughing. I thought to myself, these children Then I couldn't help but laugh <15 So the whole crowd burst into laughter [ to be continued... o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection 3 Ask a student to answer the question. He doesn’t know how to answer it, so ask him to find another student to answer the question for him. The student asked who he was looking for Me, whatever you like, just order whoever you like. Everyone will laugh. The student looked very embarrassed and hesitated for a while before ordering a girl. He laughed again <16 Later I thought that he really didn’t dare to order boys. [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢ Men's clothing FenRagwort The weather is nice today. I went out to buy men's clothing. When I walked to the newsstand, I saw men's clothing. The aunt at the newsstand told me that the edition has been revised. This magazine is selling like crazy. It’s all based on the Youth Digest. So much so, you see, it has been changed to a semi-monthly publication. Isn’t this what I learned from Youth Digest? We have to learn from the white version and the red version. But since we are a fashion magazine, the name also needs to be fashionable, so we will divide it <17 Version A and Version B are now on the 14th. The ones in the first half of the month are sold out and there are no more, so I took one. Ben dressed as a man and walked home [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Also said that when I was a child yunzhengxw One day in the first grade of elementary school, someone knocked on the door. I opened it and saw two young uncles. Uncle said, kid, do you have any stools at home that we can borrow? I um this Uncle said, kid, what did your teacher tell you? Did you say you should help others? <18 Let me think about it, yes, I want to help others. So he opened the iron door and handed out the stool Then the two uncles stepped on the stools, unscrewed the lights in our corridor, and left. After my parents came back, of course I was told a lot [ to be continued... o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection A few days later, my father’s colleague, Uncle Li, was ordered to repair the lights in our corridor. Another knock on the door: Sister, I am Uncle Li, please lend me a stool. Uncle wants to repair the light. I'm in the house. I can't open it or borrow it. Dad said no. Old Uncle Li, be good. It’s not someone else. It’s your uncle. I won’t drive it or borrow it. Oh, hurry up and leave <19 Well, because it is working time, the whole unit is occupied by me, a kid who got off school early. So Lao Li The uncle left angrily It is said that Yi turned around and praised me and said, "Your daughter is so smart. She is so smart." [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Trouble with moving from Block D to Block C y wangby The company has always been in Block D. When telling others, always tell others that the D is ABCD. However, some people still think it is the B of ABCD There is no way. Who told us not to pronounce it correctly? <20 I moved to Building C a few days ago. Now I should no longer have to worry about ABCD. Our company is located at Building C 1234 Damn, your building doesn’t have an east or west wing at all. Toot toot [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢The cattle boss selling rabbits xiaofeizi A couple and a 7 or 8-year-old girl passed by a street stall selling rabbits and hamsters. The girl The child looked at the cute rabbit and wanted to buy it. The couple didn't want to buy it for the little girl. The little girl cried and sold the rabbit. The boss of the child also added fuel to the fire and asked the couple to buy it. Later, the father took the little girl to eat ice cream and bully her. My mother was hesitant, so she asked the boss if the rabbit was clean and if it would die <21 The boss said, "Don't worry, he won't die." The mother said, "If the rabbit dies, I'm afraid that my daughter will be sad." Okay, then the boss said, I have the most experience in educating children. If the rabbit lives, Educate children about love so that they can have love from an early age. If the rabbit dies, let the children know that there are people in the world. Death is also a kind of sad education. The mother said that if the rabbit is maimed and disabled by the child, the boss said that the certificate I know this kid is cruel and can do great things Mom bought a rabbit and left with an embarrassed expression [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Returning from buying nightgown bnuwind I came back from shopping in the afternoon and bought a black translucent silk pajamas for a video chat with my husband who was on a business trip. Showing off the spoils of war. My husband repeatedly praised the beautiful clothes. The dialogue is as follows: <22 Me: I want to coax my brother well, for the long-term peace of the family: Husband: My sister is getting better and better at shopping! Me: Oh, I want my brother to be the Juren. My husband burst out laughing: I want to be a Jinshi! [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Bound by flesh and blood y long As you all know, there is a kind of skewers called bone-flesh skewers. My wife likes to eat them. She has them every time I go there. I always want to go to restaurants <23 One day, I went out to eat with my wife, and of course I ordered Bone and Bone. I sat in my seat and looked forward to it. After a while, the little brother came over with a tray of skewers, put it on the table, and said enthusiastically, "You Our flesh and blood. My wife and I looked at each other for a moment and were shocked. So I won’t order this flesh-and-blood connection again. [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Fuzhou experience dpblue I went to Fuzhou a few days ago and while I was waiting for someone in front of the police station in an alley, an Alto drove towards me. The driver was a gangster who looked like a gangster. He was dressed in shabby clothes and wearing sunglasses and acted like a fool <24 Of course, his little Alto was also modified in a flashy way, showing off his teeth and claws as he walked around the market. When the car drove over, I thought that of course a car like this would have an nbhh slogan on the back. As the car swaggered past me, I turned around and sure enough, there was written clearly on the back of the car. [ to be continued... o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection <25 You are my uncle, so you can super [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Puppies see ghosts real polk My mother and I are both superstitious, believe in Feng Shui, and believe that there are gods and ghosts in this world. I have a friend whose family of three are often sick and have accidents. According to the old man, there were times near their home <26 It was a very deep pond. Several people drowned in the pond, so the feng shui of that land is not good. It's weird. After my friend moved, his house was peaceful. So before I bought my own house, I went out of my way to inquire about the history of the community. Fortunately, everyone nearby Tell me, this neighborhood used to be a trailer factory, and the neighborhood next to it was a soy sauce factory. It sounds like the world is too big. flat So I signed the contract with confidence, checked in, decorated, moved, and by the way, I also moved my puppy from my hometown. I took it over. My mother takes the puppy for a walk in the community every night. Her life is quite nourishing. Suddenly one night, my mother came back from walking the dog and asked me what this community used to be. She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard it was a trailer factory. It turned out that she had been walking with the walking team in the community recently. [ to be continued... o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection Dog owners have noticed that something is always wrong when the puppies pass by the small bridge behind the No. 1 building. They don't do anything. Even if I walked forward, I screamed at the top of my lungs, as if I saw something scary <27 So everyone is discussing that puppies and kittens are psychic and can see things that humans can’t. Is there something wrong there? The puppy saw something that people can't see. Then everyone also speculated that the puppy Is there anything fishy about this piece of land in the past? I think so, but after all, lazy people are better than There were a lot of curious people, but no one went to find out. Unexpectedly, something happened the next day. The next night, my mother didn’t come back with the dog. She ran back in a panic and hugged her tightly. Holding the puppy, the puppy also has its tail between its legs. It doesn’t move and doesn’t bark. It seems as if it has been greatly wronged. It’s pitiful. He looked at me blankly. It looked really distressing. It’s all my mom’s fault. She is more curious than anyone else and more domineering than anyone else. It turns out they were together at night. When I started walking the dogs, I passed by the small bridge behind the No. 1 building, and the puppies refused to go forward. [ to be continued... o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection Let's go. Everyone else walked over with their puppies in their arms. Only my mother insisted on dragging the puppy over. I didn't expect it <28 When I walked over to my house, I let out a scream, then jumped up and down, looking miserable, and then kept screaming. It kept rolling, and the scream was so miserable that it didn't sound like a normal sound at all. It was like the voice of a ghost. My mother She was so frightened that someone reminded her to pick up the puppy quickly. Then my mother ran away with the puppy in her arms. What happened next? Some people know that there is a problem there Did the puppy really see a ghost? Did someone secretly bury something weird under that ground? West, a corpse, so the ghost came out to scare people. On the third day, someone really called the property management company. But the lazy property owner delayed it for several days before going to check it out. [ to be continued... o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection <29 It turns out that the truth of the matter is this simple. There is a street lamp next to the small bridge. The base of the street lamp is unknown. What's wrong? There's some leakage, but the current is very weak. People wearing shoes can't feel it. Only puppies. I can feel it. I feel sorry for our family. My mother dragged me and touched the electric shock once. I almost became an electric grilled dog. [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢The company laid off employees and encountered a shocking scene zzzzzzzzz ActionWind <30 A few days ago, the company laid off employees. I was dragged by HR to talk to the employees and I was given n1 compensation. When talking about a fresh graduate A, he encountered a surprising problem. Due to company development, strategic goals, budget and other reasons, I would like to lay the groundwork first. The company does not Decisions to adjust personnel must be made A I understand that the current environment is not good. Me, who says no? So you can have some better choices. The company decides to give you n 1. Compensation: Because you are a fresh graduate and have worked for less than 1 year, the company will give you 3 months of compensation. To be honest I think the conditions are pretty good. I don’t have to work for three months. [ to be continued... o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection A I also understand the company, but I am pregnant now, so the company needs to reconsider this issue <31 I was shocked. What, what, what? Didn’t you just graduate? Why are you pregnant? Got it HR spoke at a critical moment. The specific situation of pregnancy cannot be explained verbally. It requires a hospital. Check and prove A I brought it. I have a certificate from a tertiary hospital. I'm even more dizzy. I usually carry this with me to work. HR said that we need to reconsider this issue... In the end, this girl got 23 months of compensation. She was pregnant for 2 months, so she was breastfeeding for 8 months and 12 months. Lactation period 3 months It was so cool. This girl took the money and treated everyone in the department to a feast. [ o o 00 < Part Ⅱ Joke Original Selection ﹢Reply to the phone call just now Fenbid <32 At work, make a phone call from the landline. I say hello politely Hello, this year is the 20th anniversary of the establishment of China Pacific Insurance Company I am in time Oh, then congratulations to you Goodbye The other party was confused. Thank you. [ o o 00 < PartⅢ The dark room exposed ﹢Another college classmate of mine salute <33 During her freshman year, there were no mobile phones in the dormitory. She bought a mobile phone because of the money she bought, but she thought the phone bill was too expensive. Tell us not to call her cell phone if it's nothing urgent She lived on the upper bunk. When she went to bed at night, she was afraid of radiation, so she threw her mobile phone on the desk shared by everyone by the bedside. superior One night, after the lights were turned off, we were bored, so we teased her and told her to use her mobile phone to call the fixed line in the dormitory. One person makes the call and another person picks up the phone. It just keeps wasting her phone bill. Just dialed, the sisters were so anxious that they jumped out of bed, grabbed the landline phone receiver and said, Let me see. Who of you dares to answer the call and then hangs up with a bang? Our whole dormitory was laughing like crazy [ o o 00 < PartⅢ The dark room exposed original by crowyue adapted by yeting <34 By the way, my sister and I went for a walk that day. There were a lot of cats and dogs on the roadside. mm particularly likes small animals. It’s so fun to see them. Suddenly she stopped walking and squatted down to tease a little guy at her feet. Hey, the dog is so good. Pat the head. It's a fox dog, right? Look at that little mouth and scratch your chin. These ears are so fun. Touch them. The color is quite special. It also has spots. Rub your back. Come on, call me the dog and rub his little front feet. That little guy is really obedient and screams as soon as he opens his mouth. [ to be continued... o o 00 < PartⅢ The dark room exposed <35 Meow [Note] This is not a foreign language. [ o o 00 < Editor list zt has no fever. Please rest assured, all water trucks. tx <36 Editor-in-Chief: biancr MMJoke editor: yoo Joke Editor: i88i Little Black Room Editor: yutourr Painter: Kieslowski [ o o 00