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↑ The November issue of Life of Pig Life G42 [2012]

发信人: G42 (雪莱|RYGH), 信区: Joke 标题: [进版]少年Pig奇幻漂流的十一月刊发信站: 水木社区 (Wed Jan 16 22:03:25 2013), 站内 [累计积分奖励: 1000/120] ▅█▅ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣ ◢▅◢▅ ▅◤◣▅ ◢ ▅▅ ▅▅◣ ▅▅ ▊ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▊◢ ▌ ▅▅ ▊◢◤ ▊ ▊▅▊ ▊▊▊ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▊ ▌◣▌ ▊◤ ▊◢◤ ▊ ▊▅▊ ▅◣▊▊ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ██ ▅▌ ▅▊◥◢ ▅▊ ▊ ▊ ▊ ▊ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ▁▁ _▁▁ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ▊▕▅▅◥▋ ◤ ▍ ▍◢◤ ◢▎▆ \ / ╰'▏\'▏ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ ◢ ▍ ▍◤ ◤ /∕ ▉;|▁ ﹨ |▍ ︹▍ 。。︹ / ◥▃▋ ▍ ▎ ▎ |▉◤ _=;︼; < ╲ ▃ _/ > ▋ ▎◣ ▅ ▍ ▎▎ / \◢◣▁_;▆▍ ◣ ▃ ◢▃▆ ▍ ▌◥▃ ◥ ▎▍◥ ▎▎▆▂ ◢▍ ▊▊Ｍ▎▎ ╲/▍ ▋▎▊▎▃▅ / ▊◣ ▋ ▆ ▄◤▎▂▃▅ ◢◣▋ ╲/ ▏ ▃ ▄ ▄▆◢◥◥▃ ◥ ╱▏◣╲ ▄▆ ◥▄▍ ▎ ▅◤ ▎ ◥/ ▅▎▆▅▅▎◥▍ ▆◢▏◥◣╲ ▅▆▅▄╱ ▎ ▉▂ ▊▎◢ ▏雪莱 ▍ ▋◤ ▎ ◥◣╲ __▁ ▎ ▅▄▃▂▁▁____▁▁▁▂▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅▆▆▇￣ ◢ ███▆▆▄▂╭, ╭, ╰' ╰' ◤◤～～～～～～ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ■┃ ┃ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ┃ ┃■ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠MMJOKE| ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ˙他奋尽全力砸了95下后.....那棍子竟然断了!!! ■┃ ┃ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-1 ┃ ┃■ ˙图书管理员，神一样的职业 (转载) ■┃ ┃ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-2 ┃ ┃■ ˙有人不小心买了winzip完整版耶！ ■┃ ┃ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-3 ┃ ┃■ ˙隔墙有耳（真实经历） ■┃ ┃ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-5 ┃ ┃■ ˙我必须开始努力了！！！ ■┃ ┃ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-6 ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ┃ ┃■ ˙体罚学僧 ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ■┃ ┃ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-7 ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃■ ˙吓吓吓死爹了！！！ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-8 ◤ _=;︼; ∠01|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ┃ ┃■ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ■┃ ┃ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠MMJOKE| ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ˙五色蜡笔 ┃ ┃■ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-12 ■┃ ┃ ˙航母style系列 ┃ ┃■ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-13 ■┃ ┃ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-14 ┃ ┃■ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-15 ■┃ ┃ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-16 ┃ ┃■ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-17 ■┃ ┃ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-18 ┃ ┃■ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-19 ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ■┃ ┃ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-20( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ┃ ┃■ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-21 ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃ http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-13-8-22 ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃■ ◤ _=;︼; ∠02|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ■┃ ┃ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ┃ ┃■ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ˙∑ by thewoeld (zz by THENT) ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ 跟闺蜜吵架冷战中，中午那妞qq抖我一下，发了一个∑，不解，又不好意 ■┃ ┃ 思问她这是啥意思，于是复制粘贴问众好友这是啥？一理工科朋友简单有 ┃ ┃■ 力的回答：这个东西在数学的意思叫求和…… ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ┃ ┃■ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ■┃ ┃ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃■ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃ ◤ _=;︼; ∠03|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ┃ ┃■ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ■┃ ┃ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ˙码农段子 by vooodooo ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ 公司的数据库忽然坏了，报一些稀奇古怪的错，公司没人能搞定，老板 ┃ ┃■ 很着急，叫我到办公室，说：你赶紧在招聘网站和猎头那里发布一个DBA ■┃ ┃ 职位，年薪50万。我大吃一惊：50万？老板点点头：你负责面试，就问 ┃ ┃■ 他怎样恢复我们的数据库，另外切记！不管能不能答出来，都把他拒了！ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ■┃ ┃ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ┃ ┃■ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃■ ◤ _=;︼; ∠04|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ■┃ ┃ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ┃ ┃■ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ˙同事刚给我讲的笑话 by Aaron ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ 说他一朋友，上午在家看十八大直播，突然接了个电话是卖保险的，于 ■┃ ┃ 是这哥们把电话放电视旁边听业务员说。 ┃ ┃■ 过了一会儿，业务员问他：“您是在人民大会堂开会呢么”。 ■┃ ┃ 这哥们：“嗯” ┃ ┃■ “啊对不起领导，打扰了...” ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ┃ ┃■ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ■┃ ┃ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃■ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃ ◤ _=;︼; ∠05|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ┃ ┃■ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ■┃ ┃ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ˙Re: 真痛苦，明天又要上班了 by rayray (zz by TIMaeUs) ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ 我儿子睡觉前也这么说又要上学了 ┃ ┃■ 我告诉他别在爸妈面前说因为爸妈都读了六年小学三年初中三年高中四 ■┃ ┃ 年大学三 ┃ ┃■ 结果没听完他就哭了 ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ■┃ ┃ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ┃ ┃■ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃■ ◤ _=;︼; ∠06|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ■┃ ┃ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ┃ ┃■ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ˙学长只能帮你这么多了by plough ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ 在图书馆看见一个学弟和学妹交谈甚欢，学弟邀学妹出去走走，学妹羞 ■┃ ┃ 涩，说不出去，喜欢这里的书香…我听完默默的把运动鞋脱了，加油吧 ┃ ┃■ 学弟，学长只能帮你这么多了。 ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ┃ ┃■ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ■┃ ┃ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃■ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃ ◤ _=;︼; ∠07|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ┃ ┃■ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ■┃ ┃ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ˙又黑我理工科屌丝 by swmtswmt ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ 如果实验报告和女朋友同时掉水里，你先救哪个？ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ 回复：说得好像要写实验报告的人有女朋友一样。。。 ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ■┃ ┃ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ┃ ┃■ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃■ ◤ _=;︼; ∠08|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ■┃ ┃ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ┃ ┃■ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ˙悲催的短板分析 by KPI ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ 每个月公司都会组织经营分析会，会上各单位就各自负责的KPI项目进 ■┃ ┃ 行短板分析 ┃ ┃■ 一次某部门在分析完自己的一大堆短板指标之后，很不好意思地说了一 ■┃ ┃ 句： ┃ ┃■ “对不起公司领导，我们部门就没有短板，我们是短桶。。” ■┃ ┃ 短桶。。。 ┃ ┃■ 短桶。。 ■┃ ┃ 短桶。 ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ┃ ┃■ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ■┃ ┃ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃■ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃ ◤ _=;︼; ∠09|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ┃ ┃■ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ■┃ ┃ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ˙馒头变成饼 by weee ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ 中午骑摩托出去帮同事们买饭，一个新来的漂亮MM主动要求同去，坐在 ┃ ┃■ 后座。 ■┃ ┃ 一个平时玩得很好的同事给我发短信：加大油门，馒头变成饼。 ┃ ┃■ 我会心得无耻笑了，忽然后面问：他们是想吃饼吗？…… 原来漂亮mm ■┃ ┃ 也看到了 ┃ ┃■ 我赶紧说对对，于是买回一堆饼。 ■┃ ┃ 回到办公室，漂亮mm欢快地宣布：饼来了……惊讶发现办公室所有同事 ┃ ┃■ 口中的水都喷了…… ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ■┃ ┃ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ┃ ┃■ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃■ ◤ _=;︼; ∠10|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ■┃ ┃ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ┃ ┃■ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ˙Re: 堵车无聊才发现，原来华佗是结巴 by zpc ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ 自此以后，曹操的头痛症每况愈下，以致卧床不起。曹丕大费苦心请来 ■┃ ┃ 各方名医，却都束手无策。有人建议说：为什么不去找神医华佗呢？曹 ┃ ┃■ 丕无力的呢喃道：偶爸，偶爸刚弄死他... ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ┃ ┃■ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ■┃ ┃ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃■ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃ ◤ _=;︼; ∠11|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ┃ ┃■ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ■┃ ┃ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ˙最赚钱的医院科室 by lvkaiwen (zz by oldbug) ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ 本人有一医生哥们，有洁癖，可却是个肛肠科大夫，一次聚会问他为啥 ┃ ┃■ 选择了这么个科室，哥们叹口气说道，那时还在转科，一次和医院里几 ■┃ ┃ 个老大夫吃饭，遂打探医院哪个科室挣钱多，有说外科的，有说骨科的 ┃ ┃■ 。这时医院一位德高望重的老主任说：屁！眼科最挣钱！于是哥们最后 ■┃ ┃ 选择了肛肠科 ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ■┃ ┃ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ┃ ┃■ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃■ ◤ _=;︼; ∠12|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ■┃ ┃ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ┃ ┃■ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ˙打10010被气笑了 by Lepus (zz by just4fun) ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ 打算办宽带包年续费，用固话拨了n次忙，用全球通一拨就接了，对话 ■┃ ┃ 如下： ┃ ┃■ 我：你们这个服务电话怎么这么难接通？ ■┃ ┃ 客服mm：是比较忙，您用移动的电话拨会容易接通一些。 ┃ ┃■ 我：为什么？ ■┃ ┃ 客服mm：因为移动拨打10010是收费的 ┃ ┃■ 我：...... ■┃ ┃ 我：我看到bbn网上有宽带包年续费的优惠，直接下订单 ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ┃ ┃■ 可以吗？ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ■┃ ┃ 客服mm：应该可以吧... ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃■ 我：这个存费续费优惠和买9送3是一个意思吗？ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃ 客服mm：这个不太清楚，您去营业厅问问吧(待续) ◤ _=;︼; ∠13|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ┃ ┃■ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ■┃ ┃ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ˙打10010被气笑了 by Lepus (zz by just4fun) ┃ ┃■ (续上文) ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ 我：你们这个系统做的也太乱太复杂了，让人看不明白 ■┃ ┃ 客服mm：是的，我们一直都是这样。 ┃ ┃■ 我：...... ■┃ ┃ 挂了电话，心中感慨万千：这个mm真是实在人啊 ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ■┃ ┃ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ┃ ┃■ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃■ ◤ _=;︼; ∠14|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ■┃ ┃ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ┃ ┃■ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ˙感恩的心 by bookses ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ 许多人，包括我，都会在周末的时候进行一个庄重而神圣的仪式：早上 ■┃ ┃ 的时候不进食任何早餐，然后躺在床上静静冥想，到中午左右再起来， ┃ ┃■ 开始一天的活动。人们用这个苦行僧般的仪式，来表达对周末最起码的 ■┃ ┃ 尊重和感恩…… ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ┃ ┃■ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ■┃ ┃ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃■ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃ ◤ _=;︼; ∠15|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ┃ ┃■ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ■┃ ┃ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ˙同事老婆威力by alcohol120 ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ 部门老大打篮球，十字韧带断裂。 ┃ ┃■ 一同事，表忠心，电话给其表姐，通话如下： ■┃ ┃ 同事：喂，北京哪个地方治韧带断裂好？ ┃ ┃■ 对方：怎么回事，给你老婆打的？ ■┃ ┃ 同事：没有，一同事！ ┃ ┃■ 对方：不可能，别不好意思。老婆打的吧 ■┃ ┃ 同事：我老婆下手哪有那么狠？…… ┃ ┃■ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ■┃ ┃ 办公室人，低头窃笑 ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ┃ ┃■ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃■ ◤ _=;︼; ∠16|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ■┃ ┃ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ┃ ┃■ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ˙请教：被门夹过的核桃还能补脑吗？ by abh ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ 刚才用办公室门夹了两个核桃吃了 ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ┃ ┃■ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ■┃ ┃ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃■ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃ ◤ _=;︼; ∠17|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ┃ ┃■ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ■┃ ┃ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ˙让你贱，装逼说英文 by zifer ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ 出差给老婆买了点礼物，准备周末回去给他，就是200多的小饰品。 ┃ ┃■ 昨天qq上和她说了一下，她问我是啥，我就回了句“guess” ■┃ ┃ 结果，今天悲剧了…… ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ■┃ ┃ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ┃ ┃■ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃■ ◤ _=;︼; ∠18|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ■┃ ┃ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ ______ ┃ ┃■ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ JOKE | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |______| ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ˙本地笑话 by roseven ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ 到我们这儿的长途车，路上会经过两个下客点。 ■┃ ┃ 第一个点那儿有一个三只手托起一个球的雕塑，因此该地名为“三只手 ┃ ┃■ ”。 ■┃ ┃ 三只手在四川话里面又有扒手的意思。 ┃ ┃■ 第二个下客点是在公安局附近的公交车站台。 ■┃ ┃ 因此，长途车的售票员在报站名，提醒别坐过站的时候，会这么说： ┃ ┃■ 三只手的，有没有三只手的，下车了哈！不下的话就到公安局了！ ■┃ ┃ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ┃ ┃■ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ■┃ ┃ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃■ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃ ◤ _=;︼; ∠19|┃ ┃■ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ┃ ┃■ ▊ ◢▅▅ ▆◣ ◣ ▆◣▊▕▅▅◥▋ _________ ■┃ ┃ ◣▊▊ ▅◣ ▊ ▌▊ ▊ ▉◢ ＞▁<▍ | | ┃ ┃■ ◢◤ ▆◣▊ ██ ▊ ▊◣ ▍ 。。 ∠ 船员名单| ■┃ ┃ ◢◤ ▊ ▊ █ ██ ◣ ▃ ◢ |_________| ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ MMJOKE - ap9 ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ JOKE - ap9 ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ 刷墙工 - percyshelley ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ■┃ ┃ ┃ ┃■ ▂ ▁▂▁_▂ ■┃ ┃ ( ∕ _▁＝_\/ ┃ ┃■ ▎/ ╰'▏\'▏ __ ┃ ┃ ;|▁ ﹨ |▍ | |┃ ┃■ ◤ _=;︼; ∠20|┃ ┃ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◣▁_;▆▍ |__|┃

Sender: G42 Shelley RYGH, Area: Joke Title: [Updated Edition] The November issue of Life of Pig Sending station: Shuimu Community Wed Jan 16 22:03:25 2013, within the station [accumulated points reward: 1000 120] ' ' < ; ﹨ ; ; < > ; shelley , , ' ' < MMJOKE After he hit it 95 times with all his strength... the stick broke!!! http:www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 1 Librarian God-like Profession Reprinted http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 2 Someone accidentally bought the full version of winzip http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 3 Walls have ears, real experience http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 5 I have to start working hard http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 6 corporal punishment of monks http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 7 ' ' It scared my dad to death; ﹨ http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 8 ; ; 01 ; < MMJOKE five color crayons http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 12 Aircraft carrier style series http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 13 http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 14 http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 15 http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 16 http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 17 http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 18 http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 19 http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 20 http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 21 ' ' http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 13 8 22; ﹨ ; ; 02 ; < JOKE by thewoeld zz by THENT I was having a cold war with my best friend. At noon, the girl gave me a QQ chat and sent me a message. I was confused and embarrassed. I wanted to ask her what it meant, so I copied and pasted it and asked all my friends what it was. A friend who majored in science and engineering simply had it. Force's answer: This thing in mathematics means summation. ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 03 ; < JOKE Code farmer jokes by vooodooo The company's database suddenly broke down and some weird errors were reported. No one in the company could fix it, boss. I was very anxious and called me to the office and told me to quickly post a DBA job on recruitment websites and headhunters. Position: Annual salary: 500,000. I was shocked. 500,000. The boss nodded. You are in charge of the interview and asked. How did he restore our database? Also remember that he was rejected regardless of whether he could answer the question or not. ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 04 ; < JOKE A joke a colleague just told me by Aaron He said that a friend of his was watching the live broadcast of the 18th National Congress at home in the morning and suddenly received a call from someone selling insurance. This guy put the phone next to the TV and listened to the salesman After a while, the salesman asked him, are you having a meeting in the Great Hall of the People? This dude eh Ah, I'm sorry to bother you, boss... ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 05 ; < JOKE Re: It’s so painful. I have to go to work again tomorrow by rayray zz by TIMaeUs My son also said the same thing before going to bed. He has to go to school again. I told him not to say it in front of his parents because both parents went to elementary school for six years, three years of junior high school, three years of high school and four years of high school. Year three of college As a result, he started crying before he finished listening. ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 06 ; < JOKE Seniors can only help you so much by plough In the library, I saw a junior classmate and a junior classmate chatting happily. The junior classmate invited the junior classmate to go out for a walk. The junior classmate was embarrassed. I can't say it. I like the scholarly atmosphere here. After listening to this, I silently took off my sneakers. Come on. Junior, senior can only help you so much. ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 07 ; < JOKE Also hack my science and engineering dick by swmtswmt If the lab report and your girlfriend fell into the water at the same time, which one would you save first? Reply It sounds like the person who is going to write the lab report has a girlfriend ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 08 ; < JOKE Sad shortcoming analysis by KPI Every month the company organizes a business analysis meeting, at which each unit conducts analysis on the KPI projects they are responsible for. Analysis of industry shortcomings Once, after a certain department analyzed a lot of its own shortcomings, it said something embarrassingly: sentence I'm sorry to the company leaders. Our department has no shortcomings. We are short-term. short barrel short barrel short barrel ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 09 ; < JOKE Steamed buns turn into cakes by weee At noon, I went out on my motorcycle to buy food for my colleagues. A beautiful new girl asked to go with me and sat down. back seat A colleague who usually plays well sent me a text message. Increase the accelerator and the steamed buns will turn into cakes. I felt shameless and laughed. Suddenly I asked them if they wanted to eat cake. It turned out that she was pretty. Saw it too I quickly said yes, so I bought back a bunch of cakes Back at the office, the pretty girl announced happily that the creampie was here. She was surprised to see all her colleagues in the office. All the water in my mouth squirted out ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 10 ; < JOKE Re: I was bored in a traffic jam and found out that Hua Tuo stuttered by zpc From then on, Cao Cao's headache worsened to the point where he was bedridden. Cao Pi took great pains to invite him. Famous doctors from all over the world are helpless. Someone suggested why not go to the miracle doctor Hua Tuo. Cao Pi weakly murmured, "My dad, my dad just killed him..." ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 11 ; < JOKE The most profitable hospital departments by lvkaiwen zz by oldbug I have a doctor friend who has mysophobia, but he is an anorectal surgeon. I asked him why at a party. After choosing such a department, my friend sighed and said, "At that time, I was still transferring departments, and it was the same as in the hospital." I was having dinner with an old doctor, so I asked which department in the hospital made more money. One said surgery and the other orthopedics. At this time, a highly respected old director of the hospital said that the ophthalmology department is the most profitable, so the buddy ended up Choose anorectal department ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 12 ; < JOKE Called 10010 and laughed out loud by Lepus zz by just4fun I plan to apply for annual broadband subscription renewal. I dialed the landline number n times and it was busy. I dialed through Global Messenger and the answer was answered. as follows Why is it so difficult to get through to your service phone number? Customer service mm is quite busy. It will be easier to get through if you call from a mobile phone. Why do I Customer Service: There is a charge for dialing 10010 via mobile phone. I ...... Me I saw that there is a broadband annual renewal discount on BBN. Place an order directly. May I Customer service mm should be able to do it... ' ' Is this deposit renewal offer the same as buy 9 and get 3 free? ﹨ Customer service mm I’m not sure about this. You can go to the sales office and ask. To be continued; ; 13 ; < JOKE Call 10010 and laugh out loud by Lepus zz by just4fun Continued above I, your system is too messy and complicated for people to understand. Customer Service: Yes, we have always been like this I ...... I hung up the phone with a lot of emotions in my heart. This girl is really a real person. ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 14 ; < JOKE grateful heart by bookses Many people, including me, will perform a solemn and sacred ceremony in the morning on weekends I don’t eat any breakfast, then lie in bed and meditate quietly, then get up around noon. People start the day with this ascetic ritual to express their minimum appreciation for the weekend. respect and gratitude ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 15 ; < JOKE The power of colleagues’ wives by alcohol120 The department boss ruptured his cruciate ligament while playing basketball A colleague expressed his loyalty by calling his cousin. The conversation was as follows: Colleague, hello, which place in Beijing is good for treating ligament rupture? What's going on with the other party? He called your wife. Colleagues No Colleagues The other party is impossible. Don’t be embarrassed. My wife probably beat me. Colleague, how can my wife be so ruthless? Office people lower their heads and snicker ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 16 ; < JOKE Can walnuts caught in the door still nourish the brain? by abh I just pinched two walnuts with the office door and ate them ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 17 ; < JOKE Make you cheap and pretend to speak English by zifer I bought some gifts for my wife on a business trip. I plan to give them to him when I go back over the weekend. They are more than 200 trinkets. I talked to her on QQ yesterday and she asked me what I was and I replied guess. As a result, today is a tragedy ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 18 ; < JOKE local jokes by roseven The long-distance bus to our place will pass through two drop-off points on the way. There is a sculpture of three hands holding a ball at the first point, so the place is named Three Hands. Three hands means pickpocket in Sichuan dialect. The second drop-off point is at the bus stop near the Public Security Bureau. Therefore, the conductor of a long-distance bus will say this when announcing the station name and reminding you not to ride past the station. Three-handed. Is there a three-handed one? Get off the car. If you don’t get off, go to the public security bureau. ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 19 ; < crew list MMJOKE ap9 JOKE ap9 wall painter percyshelley ' ' ; ﹨ ; ; 20 ;