Sender: ap9 porn 9 I miss you, please contact me, message area: Joke Title: [Monthly] August and September combined issue Sending site: Shuimu Community Sun Oct 31 00:51:13 2010 , within the site ヽ ^ ^ It rained and the sky was sunny August and September combined issue .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [ part ⅰ mmjoke ヽ ^ ^ I've been sitting with you for more than two hours. Why don't you say something? http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 1014 59 1 go play outside http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 1014 59 2 I don't know why I'm standing here either http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 1014 59 3 pvz http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 1014 59 4 Get out of the way, I want to turn over .., http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 1014 59 5 ' Hairstyles banned in middle and high schools , http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 1014 59 6 ' , ' polymer porn ﹨o http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 5 1014 59 7 ' o ,o [01 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ You will receive it within one working day. GoodLiu Reprinted from www.qiushibaike.com Yesterday, the work unit went to Putuo for a trip The monks there specialize in cheating money He deceived our vice president and said he was a fortune teller60 When I got excited, I took out a stack of talismans and burned them. The monk said, I just helped you burn seven or forty-nine talismans. It's 100 yuan. If you include me asking for amulets for you, your total is 6,000. .., Yuanba ' We said it was so expensive and he said that the Bodhisattva place cannot be negotiated. , price. It doesn’t matter if you don’t bring cash. ' , ' After saying that, he took out a POS machine ﹨o The president calmly took out a blank check and skillfully 'o Fill out the account with 6,000 yuan and name, take out a lighter and burn it. ,o [ [Go to next page] 02 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Turn around and say, Master, Bodhisattva should receive it within one working day. Huali turned around and left The master was left messy in the wind .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [03 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ A sad love story zz apoeme reprinted from Sun Moon Guanghua I was angry with my husband last night Later I cried and said, forget it, let’s be apart for a while Bar You go to the dormitory and let's think about it during this time. My husband is usually a very boring person But when I heard me say this yesterday GC .., suddenly came forward and hugged me. The veins on my neck and forehead popped out. ' , shout loudly no, I don’t want to separate from you, don’t leave. ' , ' I ﹨o I was really scared at that time ' o Wondering what happened to him ,o [ [Go to next page] 04 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ He continued to shake me and said, don't leave me, don't leave me. I was petrified and nodded. He asked. He was not angry anymore. Do I still dare to be angry? Hurry up and say you're not angry anymore It took me a long time before I dared to ask him what happened just now He said, oh, it’s nothing. He just imitated Xima Jingtao. .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [05 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Buying a cake is a tragedy bzt Yesterday, it was my friend’s birthday and I went to a relatively large cake shop. Order cake After the cake was brought out, the salesperson asked me if I wanted to write What blessings? Then I remembered that joke So I said, "Wish Zhuge Zangzang a happy birthday" The salesperson looked suspicious but suppressed a smile and said, "Are you sure?" .., is this it? ' I said, well, just write this. , so the salesperson took out a bag and looked through it. ' , ' gorgeously took out a small plastic sign and placed it on the cake: ﹨o Happy birthday to Zhuge Zangzang! ' o I am gorgeously petrified ,o [06 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ An original author who has been diving for many years. Please give me a stamp on your graduation certificate. alias In the early years when we were undergraduate students, we bought half-price train tickets. There is a page at the back of the student ID card, written on both sides, about traveling by car to visit relatives during the holidays. Sections and columns are sold by railway stations selling half-price tickets each semester Stamped with two stamps, such as Beijing West Railway Station When I graduate from college, I can buy a half-price train for the last time when I go home. The ticket is stamped on the graduation certificate at the ticket-selling railway station because the student ID card has been taken back .., a classmate’s diploma was stolen from Tsinghua University by Beijing West Railway Station ' The stamp I learned was stamped with the stamp of Beijing West Railway Station before I got the work sheet. , the leader asked when registering, are you a trainee or Beijing West Railway Station? ' , ' jointly cultivated with Tsinghua University ﹨o ' o ,o [07 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ drink yogurt Wall Y I went swimming at the beach with my lab classmates. On the way back. 1 The girl said Oops, I’m so exhausted and sore all over. At this time, another boy said how good this is, just plug in the straw. Drinking yogurt...... .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [08 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Mom Leiyu Xiao Leng foxsilver 1. While eating My wife said that my colleagues have been married for three years and they are still not pregnant. She needs to go to the doctor. The hospital examinations are all normal. I don’t know what the problem is. Mom said it was a technical problem 2. In the third trimester of pregnancy .., my wife said, I guess I won’t have enough milk in the future. 'My mother comforted me by saying that the amount of milk and the size of the breasts have nothing to do with each other. , has much to do with ' , ' Wife... ﹨o 'o ,o [ [Go to next page] 09 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ 3. My wife comes home from the hospital after giving birth My mother said to my wife: "I know you two are good, but I can't do it within 40 days." good .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [10 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Wubi nighthawk http: t.sina.com.cn gaoxiju Before I became an assistant director, I worked in a typing club and studied Wubi professionally. Input Some Wubi words with the same root are very annoying, such as "front" and Below are words with the same root. The input codes are all ghdm. I just replied There was a problem with an actor's email again. I asked, do you have any questions? Can you take a clear photo of your face without a hat? Wubi entry was a joke again. At that time and there it was .., the same root word. An actor said that he had acted in a big movie. I asked 'How old are you there? If you make this mistake again, I will resign voluntarily. , not to embarrass the directing world ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [11 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Responsible THENT RT @amelieonsea: My colleague’s daughter who is in junior high school said teacher Teach them that it’s okay if you want to fall in love, but you must Find someone who is responsible. You said those teachers will throw away your hand as soon as you see them? What's the use of coming here? .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [12 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Buy Lottery Original SundayMore Some time ago, I acted coquettishly and pretended to be poor and said to my father, "Dad, I am poor." I haven’t eaten meat for a long time 55555 My dad threw me a set of Shuangseqiu numbers and said, go buy meat. money I bought 5 bets and I actually won. I won 5 yuan for each bet. The total is That’s 25 Then I flattered my dad, and my dad said, "Look, I'm awesome." .., ' , after this time, one time I said again, Dad, I am poor and have no money. ' , ' Shopping for clothes. Then my dad threw me another set of numbers. ﹨o said go buy some money for clothes ' o I bought another 5 bets and won another 25 ,o [ [Go to next page] 13 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ I complained to my dad that 25 yuan was not enough to buy clothes. Dad said that next time you need to be more specific, but 25 should be Can I buy a sling? Last time I told my dad again, dad, I can’t get married. Ah, I guess there is no dowry. Then my dad calmed down and sent me a series of numbers after a while. Tell me to take the dowry money .., then I was cruel and bought 10 bets for 20 yuan ' , Then ' , ' Then ﹨o Then ' o then ,o [ [Go to next page] 14 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Missed a penny I called my father and said, Dad, where is the dowry? This time I missed the penny and lost 20 55555 My dad looked up to the sky and screamed for a while and said, Oh, God’s will. There's nothing I can do. I'm destined to have to pay for my dowry. .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [15 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ overflow uned background My colleague, MM, Xiao G, has a small appetite and high energy consumption. For example, when eating dumplings, you usually eat about 10 dumplings. Eat one more. If you eat less, you will be hungry again a certain day Little G, Little J, Little S will go to dinner with me .., Xiao G ordered a portion of dumplings and ate about 2 3 and started to face each other. ' A half-bitten dumpling looked sad. , Little S saw this and asked if it had reached the critical point. ' , ' Little G nodded ﹨o I said, don’t eat it, it might overflow. 'o ,o [ [Go to next page] 16 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Xiao J continued, "It depends on the situation. If it's a stack overflow, it's normal." Disgusting. It would be disgusting if the queue overflowed. With a dark look on his face, Little G silently poured the remaining dumplings into Little J. in the bowl .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [17 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Chinese Valentine's Day jokes lebrongu I bought mm a big stuffed toy Want to give her a surprise Late on purpose for a dinner date suddenly appeared from behind her She seemed quite happy to give him a gift. After looking at it for a while, he suddenly asked me "how much?" .., I said, "How much will you pay?" ' She said, "Who will give it to you..." , I said, "Then how much does it cost..." ' , ' "..." ﹨o "My ex-boyfriend gave me the same one, let's see if it's expensive for you." 'o..." ,o [18 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Re: Chinese Valentine's Day jokes Kobe8ryant There's something funnier A buddy in the dormitory bought a piece of underwear online to express his love for his girlfriend. I wanted to give the underwear to the other party, but when the underwear was delivered, it was picked up by another person in the dormitory. A buddy saw it and casually said she already has one. Is it the same? The air freezes instantly .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [19 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ This article has no title vluck High school classmate Qiu, an IT migrant worker, married early and had no children. One day, a group of migrant workers in Qiu roared: My wife is about to give birth! After a while, a classmate’s signature was changed to: Cupid finally hit it! .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [20 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ paper cutter bhre The team next door recently took on a new project and was short of manpower, so we recruited Got a part-time job It seems that the part-time person didn't do a good enough job and the manager was a little angry. Yes. The subordinate said, "How did this thing become like this? Go and get a part-time job." Find someone for me I continued, such a small thing would not alarm the Japanese Prime Minister. Take a photo .., everyone was speechless ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [ twenty one part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Tell a joke about excel replacement Teri The company uses an Excel spreadsheet to maintain the data information of foreign employees. Interest This table is updated monthly The colleague responsible for maintaining this form today was very confused and said Au Who is gio? It seems that there is no such person in the company. After everyone gathered around, they all expressed that they didn’t recognize this person. He didn’t look like that. like a person's name So the colleague had to look through the forms from previous months to find out. .., Who is this person Chu? ' I was surprised to find that this foreigner changed his name every month. , August is called Augio, July is called Julio, and June is called Jun. ' , ' io May is called Mayio ﹨o It wasn’t until March that I discovered: It turns out to be Mario!!!! 'o ,o [ twenty two part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Tattoo ZZ Dabr At the beginning of the year, a new tattoo parlor opened next to the community. I pictured I just want to get a barcode tattooed on my wrist. I didn't bring any pictures with me when I went there, so I asked the little master to help me look for them. After a while, he I took out a small piece of cardboard with a barcode on it. When he saw that he was happy, he asked him to get a tattoo. The numbers below are for me. More important dates and abbreviations More than half a year has passed and friends around me say the tattoo looks good. .., I think the technology is indeed good 'Today I went shopping at the 7 11 downstairs. The little girl who collected the money and , I'm quite mature and like to joke around. See my barcode tattoo. ' , ' Just took advantage of me not paying attention and quickly scanned it with the code scanner. ﹨o Di There are more items on the small screen. 'o ,o [ twenty three part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ durex love 12 pack Tattoo artist, your uncle .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [ [Go to next page] 24 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ I sent a text message yesterday at World Trade Center Street woshicloud World Trade Center Street can display text messages sent by tourists on the overhead super on the big screen I sent a message My cervical spondylosis is completely cured, thanks to World Trade Center When it was first displayed on the screen, there was a burst of laughter in the square. Many people laughed. The translator touched his neck and translated to the foreigner next to him... .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [25 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Oh Leonardo ZZ larkspur Leonardo said to Lucy in Titanic: If you jump, I jump Leonardo said to Mel in Inception If you j ump, I will not jump with you! You see, when men mature, they no longer believe in love. Something's happened. .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [26 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ received a text message nbavs A few days ago, we received an inexplicable text message. We also We've broken up. Don't contact us again. I guess we're a couple. I sent you the wrong text message because I was heartbroken. Out of good intentions, I replied to you. Wrong message. I don’t know you. After a while, I received the message again. Xin You are cruel via:@rengow .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [27 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ You look good in what you wear today zz bewithyou I was eating at Qingfen today and finally found a seat to sit down. Beside them are a man and a woman Both of them are very popular and Tsinghua-looking. The two of them ate in silence, as if they didn't know each other. Sample Then the man said without raising his head, "You look good in what you wear today." .., I choked at that time, the chopsticks silently stopped in mid-air, my heart 'I wonder who I'm talking to. Everyone at the table doesn't know each other. , and then the woman opposite him said without raising her head, "Really?" ' , ' ﹨o Then the people at the table ate in silence again ' o About 3 minutes later, the woman said, I just asked ,o [ [Go to next page] 28 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ sentence The man said I know The woman was obviously a little angry and said, why are you pretending not to hear? The man paused and said, "I don't dare to say it." Female what Man, when you came in, didn't you say that the most I could do every week was Did I lie to you once? I clearly felt like the passerby who was eating silently across from me While holding back laughter, facial muscles twitched .., more classic ones to come. ' The woman glared at the man fiercely, as if she was angry. , the man said coquettishly with a flattering expression on his face, "Don't be angry." ' , ' Don't be angry ﹨o The woman raised her head and the two of them had sex like they were filming a TV series. ' o Deep, classic, vulgar and cliched eye contact. Boys are very affectionate. ,o [[Continue to next page] 29 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Speak slowly. I'm just kidding. What you're wearing today is true. very nice My goosebumps fell to the ground with a clanging sound. When the woman is still immersed in it, the man looks away and feels melancholy. He sighed. Hey, I just revealed next week’s lie. Then he quickly lowered his head and continued eating Actually, my focus is The passerby opposite me finally couldn’t help but laugh out loud. .., the rice crumbs spurted out from his mouth and landed beautifully, I just ate them ' A third of the supper , this is the reason why I resentfully gnawed corn to satisfy my hunger in the dormitory tonight. ' , ' because ﹨o 'o ,o [30 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ 12 great uses for girls benjamin6 A school girl with a strong relationship, a DINK tribe, married but unable to have children One day during QQ chat, she said: My niece is one year old, right? Tell me. What are the benefits of raising children? Give me a reason to have children all my life. I thought for a while and replied: 12 uses for my daughter 1 Prevent quarrels .., when quarreling with LP, facing LP and hugging her can greatly reduce the quarrel. ' time , 2 watchdog ' , ' Put it in a stroller, put it at the door, and call it when you meet people. ﹨o 3 Pick up girls ' o It has a miraculous effect on young women. It can also be used as a vanguard for young girls. ,o [[Continue to next page] 31 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ The disadvantage is that it is easy to be picked up by middle-aged women 4 pillows Let the little girl lie down with a pillow on her back, that's how comfortable it is Yeah, don't fall asleep 5. Grow flowers The fertilizer produced by the little girl has low odor, sufficient yield and fertility. big 6. Buy toys I use her name to buy toys that I like, but recently I bought them like this Transformers, Gundam, Asuka Naked Commemorative Edition LP was scolded .., ' 7 Upgrade old items , as small as a cell phone after cleaning it and giving it to her to bite, as big as a camera ' , ' She throws unwanted clothes and poops on her. I can't destroy it. ﹨o The trouble will always be on her and she will buy a new one. But recently, due to ' o Financial problems. I can only use a mobile phone with a tooth mark and a photo with a bump mark. ,o [ [Go to next page] 32 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ machine and shirt with shit prints 8. Hair style The little girl's face shape is similar to ours, so she had the idea of ​​hairstyle first. Implement it on the bag. When it’s done, let us use it. If it’s not done well, let the little girl do it. scrape into shells 9 Mouthguard Bite lightly on the PP on her cheek and the back of her hand, leaving a clear circle Tooth marks to find cavities and irregular teeth 10 buy rice Weigh her before going out. I will buy her as much as she weighs. .., a pound of rice. If you look at one in each hand, you will know if you are short of a pound of rice. ' 11 Save pocket money , squatting on the overpass with her daughter in her arms, putting a piece of paper in front of her, with the words: LP private ' , ' Running thousands of miles to find a relative, my daughter is hungry and cold, asking for money for a meal ﹨o 12 Hypnosis ' o The little girl's PP and TMD pair are the same size and shape as MiMi. ,o [ [Go to next page] 33 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Looks similar except that there is no Jiuer and the feel is almost the same. LP is on a business trip or giving birth. I was so angry that I touched the little girl’s vagina while sleeping. PiaPia’s. .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [34 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ If my wife is lost demido original milkcat reprint Today on the subway, LG looked at me carefully and counted the numbers. I asked in surprise what are you doing? lg said, count how many wrinkles you have then He said that if you are lost, I will send a missing person notice, that's all Write: My wife is lost. Her facial features are as follows. There are wrinkles on her face 14 The nose and mouth are a little crooked, the bridge of the nose is flat, and there are chloasma on the left side of the face. .., dry. There are some suspected age spots on the right side of my face. 'Before I collapse , the old gentleman went on to say, if this missing person notice is sent out, ' , ' Someone must call me, brother, if you lose your wife like this, ﹨o Throw it away ' o Okay, I'm just not angry. ,o [35 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Modern Xu Xiake original SundayMore There is a leftover girl in the family and there are a lot of funny jokes By the way, my mother is also worried about this life-long event of mine, but she My anxiety is not expressed in words, but given to me in a silent way Blessings. Go to the temple to pray to Buddha and ask for a fortune. The only thing I ask for is you. We all know Now that my mother is retired, she has more time and travels from time to time. Travel, then search for temples, burn incense, worship Buddha, and pray for me .., when I say this, I burst into tears, woo woo woo. ' I called home two days ago and my father answered the phone. , where is my dad and my mom? ' , ' Dad, your mother went there. It is said that there is a temple there to seek marriage. ﹨o The fate is quite good ' o I'm embarrassed, sweating, and feeling bad. I quickly put the words aside. ,o [ [Go to next page] 36 part ⅱ joke ヽ ^ ^ Question: Haha Oh, it turns out I’m traveling again. It’s great. Haha. Ah Dad, it’s been 2 seconds. Okay, girl. Do you have to force your mother to become a modern Xu Xiake before you can give up? Modern Xu Xiake Xu Xiake .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [37 part ⅲ small dark room ヽ ^ ^ Do you know the IFC building in Beijing? Teri By the way, it's a prime location. After the visit one day, we asked the owner in confusion This building is very luxurious and it’s in a prime location, but why is it all there? Pure black one The other party replied very calmly, "Our boss is the coal boss Bei." .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [38 part ⅲ small dark room ヽ ^ ^ An anime fan friend went shopping and sent a text message back Yvette I saw a person with twin tails. This kind of thing is seen in three dimensions. As expected, it is not as good as the two-dimensional one .., ' , ' , ' ﹨o 'o ,o [39 part ⅳ List of editors ヽ ^ ^ Thank you for watching. Welcome to vote. joke editor ap9 mmjoke editor ap9 Little Dark Room Editor FZD paint wall .., Kieslowski ' , wall painting and plug-in ' , ' aotian ﹨o 'o ,o [40