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↑ Jiao Ke Sha’s 2011 Annual G42 [2011]

发信人: ap9 (A片-9|小猪的翩翩), 信区: Joke 标题: 娇客杀的2011年刊发信站: 水木社区 (Mon May 21 23:39:43 2012), 站内 ˙. ˙ <> ‥ ˙ . . · <> ||╲_ :: . .˙ . : ‥ ||╲ | 分 ﹨ ∴︰ · ︰︰ :.︰ .∵ | \ _ | 小姨| :·. ∶: _ · _ ∴ _︰· ︰: | 杀猪头\ ||￣╲︳︰‥ : ∴ ▕ \ ︰: ▕ ╲∵·. ▕ ╲ ∴ ·∴ ||╲_ / | :·:.∶ __╱∠ .˙∵ ︳/____‥ ___/ /˙_.∷ . || ﹨/ ╱> . . .\_ _\ ╱|_∠ ____ \ \_ < │\╱\·∴ || ╱`< ▕╲ |\╱_╱ /\╲:. ∴\ /_/|___ |╱ /╱\_>▕ ╱|/__.︰|| ╱ \ ___ __ │|╱ / \╱|| ╲╲____\_|\___ 〉 ∴ ╱ |\ |/__﹨╱˙ || ╱替天 ///\╱ \/ │ ╱ |__╱/∠╲╲__╱ ____/∠____ __╱ > __> \_ ·. |╱ 行道 ╱ ︳ > <︳ ╱ \/∕╲_/\>_|/_ ∴╲_ ______ \\_╱|│_ \___ 〉 _|╲ __ ╱___╲ _OO) \╱\ \ |\ ∠___ \ : ____╱/ __ ￣ |│>\ __/╱ :_|__|______〢___|__〣_|_ _/ /￣ |│ ∠╲|│ ╲__╱∠__╲ ∵╱|╱│￣/ _ \ ·. ‥ . \╱ ·\│\>|_/|│∷· \╲ _/∠ \__/|│. \<//\╲_____ :: :: ::: :: ∴ ∴ . ‥ _|│ ‥.˙ \/ ╲_/ · . \_︳‥︺∴╲___╱ :: ::::::: ::: ╲/ :: : : ::: :: :: Ｄe ２０１１年刊 | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――――――――――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ -╮╭┼┼ I < 封禁 > 发动神速，致使对方伤残，级别︶ I ║| │ ││ | 从不能说话到生活不能自理不等 ╰| ║| -┼╭┴┼ I ║|I ║| │╭─╯ | | < 数数 > 手牌数量为猪头计算能力范围内， ║|| ║| ┤┌─┤ | I 一般为1-3张 _|I ║| -╯╰─╯ | | | | ║| | I < 小姨 > 对受到“封禁”技能攻击的人使 |║I ║| ╭─╮╮ | | 用，一般不出牌即可达到安抚对 |║| ║| ╭─╮│ | I 方的效果 |║I ║| ╯│ | | |║| ║| ╰──┼╯ | I < 附 > 猪头2011年任务详解 |║I ╚|_ ╰──╯╯ | | |║| I╚|╗ ______| I （见下页） |║I | |║ ___ __ __ ___ | |║| I |║ _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ I |║I | |║ _/ ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒ \_ | ╔ |╝| I |║ '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' I ║_| I | |║ ︺︺︺︺︺︺ | ║-01-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| 猪头2011年任务详解 |―――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ I ﹢娇客儿女多寂寞，爱你在心口难开︶ I ║| | ╰| ║| ▂ ▂ ▂ ▂ ▂ ▂ ▂ I - 缘起 ║|I ║| _ _| _ _) | | ╱ | ║|| ║| | _ _ _) _| _| \ I 原始版本：Facebook推出暗恋功能 _|I ║| ︵︵︵︵ | 听说Facebook将推出一个暗恋功能，如果你 | | ║| <-( ( --<<< I 暗恋某个人，标记#暗恋#，如果你暗恋的人 |║I ║| ╲╱╲╱ | 正好暗恋你，系统就会发信息告诉你们两个 |║| ║| I 。社交网络能够做到如此细腻和人性化，实 |║I ║| _||_ | 在让人肃然起敬。 |║| ║| ╲╱ I |║I ╚|_ˋ ｀_ ˊ ˋ｀ _ˊ| 娇客山寨版本：建议本版开设暗恋功能 |║| I╚|╗(∨ ) - - (∨ ) I 不需要任何技术，手动即可。假如你暗恋哪 |║I | |║ ╲/ ___ __ __ ___\╱ | 个ID（不限于本版），就给JOKE某指定版主 |║| I |║ _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ I 发信，如果两边对上了，就通知双方。 |║I | |║ _/ *⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒* \_ | (by xinghe) ╔ |╝| I |║ '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' I ║_| I | |║ ︺︺︺︺︺︺ | ║-02-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| 猪头2011年任务详解 |―――――――――| I _|╔══════════════════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ╰(╯| ╔|═╝﹢娇客儿女多寂寞，爱你在心口难开︶ I ║| ╰| ║| ˙ . ˙ ║|I ║| --- 、︵大家好各位粥客好 ║|| ║| · ╱ ╲ ) ) · _|I ║| ︵ _\ -`/ 俺是x****e | | ║| . (╰>\) _╱﹋ --' 俺准备暗恋b****r |║I ║| <︶_ノ ╱﹋︵ -, ) |║| ║| . │ / ╯ ︶ ╲ ╯) 水木大神保佑！ |║I ║| _ \ ∕ ∕/︳ ﹨︶ ` 星河大神保佑！ |║| ║| . _ ╱﹋ /\,╲_| ||- | ． |║I ╚|_ ╱﹋` ∕ ︶` )_ -、 | |╲ |║| I╚|╗ · / | |- 丿╮╲/-︶ · |║I | |║ ﹒ / ︳|/ ╲ ﹒ |║| I |║ ︳ │ / |║I | |║ ˙ \ |￣ ˙ ╔ |╝| I |║ ˙ ˙ ║_| I | |║ ║-03-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| 猪头2011年任务详解 |―――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ___ ︵ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱ \(__╱\/︳ I ﹢星河娇客遇明主，肝脑涂地灭特快︶ I ║| / - |_」- | | ╰| ║| Ｇ │(__︶ ⊥ ︶ )│ I - 缘起 ║|I ║| ╲_| _╱╲_ (╱ | ║|| ║| vs. ╱_ˋ〉〈ˊ_╲ I 原始版本：谷歌收购摩托罗拉 _|I ║| \__)/ \(__/ | 谷歌的CEO拉里·佩奇坐在办公椅上边吃巧 | | ║| Ｍ | -╮ ╭- | I 克力豆，边和下属视频会议，说道：“公司 |║I ║| ￣￣￣￣ | 缺少手机，买个摩托罗拉吧。” |║| ║| _||_ I 15分钟后，有人在视频那头传话，“摩托罗 |║I ║| ___ _ ╲╱___ | 拉买下了。” |║| ║| \╱-'/ / ╲ 娇客 I 拉里问道：“什么型号的？” |║I ╚|_ / * - |_ _|- * \ | 下属：“啊？型号？…型号？” |║| I╚|╗│ ︶(0||_︶ ) │ vs. I (zz by finalMVP) |║I | |║ ╲ _３ ╲_ ,╱ | |║| I |║ ╱__ 〉〈ˊ_╲ 特快 I 娇客山寨版本：娇客收购特快 |║I | |║ \_|</ \(__/ | 目前，特快风雨飘摇，各版无不觊觎。据 ╔ |╝| I |║ | |> ╭- | I 说一支被称为“家版大妈军”的部队已开 ║_| I | |║ ￣￣￣ | ║-04-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| 猪头2011年任务详解 |―――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ___ ︵ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱ \(__╱\/︳ I (接上页) ︶ I ║| / - |_」- | | 入特快，我版如不及早动手，恐将难分杯羹！ ╰| ║| Ｇ │(__︶ ⊥ ︶ )│ I 是以河特请命前往接管，望愿从者响应！ ║|I ║| ╲_| _╱╲_ (╱ | 现在，是我们捐弃前嫌的时候了！ ║|| ║| vs. ╱_ˋ〉〈ˊ_╲ I (by xinghe) _|I ║| \__)/ \(__/ | | | ║| Ｍ | -╮ ╭- | I 我们掷杯为号，里应外合！ |║I ║| ￣￣￣￣ | 特快平定之日，便是前嫌冰释之时！ |║| ║| _||_ I 届时无论出相入将还是放马南山，唯君命是 |║I ║| ___ _ ╲╱___ | 从~~~ (by cu0) |║| ║| \╱-'/ / ╲ 娇客 I |║I ╚|_ / * - |_ _|- * \ | 警署警长搓搓坐在办公椅上边吃巧克力豆， |║| I╚|╗│ ︶(0||_︶ ) │ vs. I 边和下属zt开会，说道：「版面缺少文章， |║I | |║ ╲ _３ ╲_ ,╱ | 去特快看看合并一些来。」15分钟后，有人 |║| I |║ ╱__ 〉〈ˊ_╲ 特快 I 在视频那头传话，「特快合并过来了。」 |║I | |║ \_|</ \(__/ | 搓搓问道，「哪些文章号？」下属：「啊 ╔ |╝| I |║ | |> ╭- | I ？文章号？文章号？」 (by KPI) ║_| I | |║ ￣￣￣ | ║-05-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| 猪头2011年任务详解 |―――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ I ﹢但使万千水车在，Come on 小姨 Don't ︶ I ║＊▁ | be shy ╰| ║||╳| ◢◣ I ║|I ║| ▔＊ ◥◤◢◣ | - 某天，小姨抛绣球征驸马，版面立刻一片 ║|| ║| ※◢◤◥◤◢◣ I 血雨腥风。。。 _|I ║| ◢◣◢◤◢◤◥◣ | ___________________________________ | | ║| ◥◤◢◣◢◤◢◤◢◣ I \? ?╲ |║I ║| ◢◤◥◤◢◣◥◤◥◤◢◣ | │ 这位水车，报上名来 m**t \ |║| ║| ◥◢◤◢◤◥◣◢◤◥◤◥◣ I ︳籍贯何处 joke ︳ |║I ║| ◥◢◤◢◤◢◣◢◤◢◤◤ | | 看上俺家哪位 b****r | |║| ║| ◥◥◤◥◤◢◣◥◤◤ I │ 看上她哪点三点都看上了 │ |║I ╚|_ ◥◢◤◥◤◥◣◤ | | 亲爱的猪，你要对她说： | |║| I╚|╗ ◥◢◤◢◤◤※ I │ 从今之后我发誓嫁给我吧！ │|║I | |║ ◥◥◤◤ ＊┌┐ | 就让xinghe大神见证我们的爱 __||║| I |║ ◥◤ ┌┼┘ │ 情吧，我会永远对他说：y! ︳/|║I | |║ └┘＊ |_________________________________|/ |╝| I |║ ◥◣ _| I | |║ ◥◥ ║-06-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――――――――――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╭───╮ I < 歪吸 > 能歪能吸乃真正法器！尔等敢应︶ I ║| │╭ | 战否？凡出此牌，均可被猪头亲 ╰| ║| │├──╮ I 密地摸一次 ║|I ║| ╰╰──╮ | | ║|| ║| ╰───│ | I < 被摸 > 此技能以x以e多多益善，哪个猪 _|I ║| ╰──╯ | | 头来和我大摸三百回合！ | | ║| | I |║I ║| ╭──┬╮ | | |║| ║| │ | I ‐-—╱`>- 、 |║I ║| ╭──┼╮ | | ╱ ,_╱ ╱ ╲ |║| ║| ╭──┼╮ | I ╱ ╱╱ ╱╲ _ ╲ |║I ╚|_ ╰─╯ | | / ╱╱ ╱ _ / ╲ |║| I╚|╗ ______| I /〉/,︿、 ∕ / |║I | |║ | ▕/ˊ ╲> ˋ-—ˋ |║| I |║ I ╱ ╱|╲____ |║I | |║ | ╱ ╱_/\_/╯ ￣ˉ ╔ |╝| I |║ I /\╱ ║_| I | |║ | ￣ ║-07-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| Jagbin |―――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ _|├| |┑|┤┃ |\▏ I < 红钻 > 为小红钻石而奋斗！回合开始后︶ I ║| ￣￣￣ | 可判定，若非小红钻石，继续发 ╰| ║| __ __ I 动原创，如此反复，直到出现小 ║|I ║| 小 /_ ╲∕_ \ /︳ | 红钻石为止。 ║|| ║| \\| /||/_╱╱| I _|I ║| 紅 ▕\/∟￣ ﹨ / | < 国色 > 使用此技能，即将警察哥、小萝 | | ║| ∠︹< ˋ-' I |║I ╚|_ ˋ╲ |╲_- __╱ _ˊ| | |║| I╚|╗ \\ |/ ˋ ﹨╯﹨\ | I |║I | |║ ╲|\ \_| _ |/ ︳ | |║| I |║ ﹨╲ ||)/,- _/ I |║I | |║ /╲`-_/ ︳ | ╔ |╝| I |║ `╲￣__ _| I ║_| I | |║ / /| | \﹨ | ║-08-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| Jagbin |―――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ _|├| |┑|┤┃ |\▏ I ﹢也说一个在春运火车上的事情︶ I ║| ￣￣￣ | ╰| ║| __ __ I 几年前的春运某次回家，我坐两人座位的窗 ║|I ║| 小 /_ ╲∕_ \ /︳ | 边，一个女生坐我旁边。我喜欢看窗外，就 ║|| ║| \\| /||/_╱╱| I 一直看，结果发车后一两个小时都没说话。 _|I ║| 紅 ▕\/∟￣ ﹨ / | 这时，我突然斜眼一看，此MM正在看短信。 | | ║| ∠︹< ˋ-' I 有点小不爽，还是没说话。 |║I ╚|_ ˋ╲ |╲_- __╱ _ˊ| | 过了一个小时，我突然对此M说：“你……” |║| I╚|╗ \\ |/ ˋ ﹨╯﹨\ | I 。她转过头噼里啪啦说：“哦，我是XX大学 |║I | |║ ╲|\ \_| _ |/ ︳ | 的，学XX的，你呢？你学什么的啊” |║| I |║ ﹨╲ ||)/,- _/ I 我说：“你能不能让一下，我去厕所……” |║I | |║ /╲`-_/ ︳ | 我是真的想去厕所的说。 ╔ |╝| I |║ `╲￣__ _| I 然后一行20多小时，此M一直没有说话。 ║_| I | |║ / /| | \﹨ | ║-09-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| Jagbin |―――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ _|├| |┑|┤┃ |\▏ I ﹢火车上遇到的收放自如彪悍大叔︶ I ║| ￣￣￣ | ╰| ║| __ __ I 某次夏天回北京的火车上，上厕所的人排队 ║|I ║| 小 /_ ╲∕_ \ /︳ | 很长。我后面是一个30来岁的壮汉大叔。前 ║|| ║| \\| /||/_╱╱| I 面一个人出来的时候，我就进去了。刚准备 _|I ║| 紅 ▕\/∟￣ ﹨ / | 关门，没想到此大叔也夺门而入。小小的厕 | | ║| ∠︹< ˋ-' I 厕所也有个先来后到啊！” |║I ╚|_ ˋ╲ |╲_- __╱ _ˊ| | 他一边解裤带一边说：“怕啥，都是男人啊 |║| I╚|╗ \\ |/ ˋ ﹨╯﹨\ | I 。”然后他居然就开始嘘嘘了…… |║I | |║ ╲|\ \_| _ |/ ︳ | 我就惊愕地看着他。突然他看了我一眼，说 |║| I |║ ﹨╲ ||)/,- _/ I ：“算了，你人年轻脸皮薄，一会该说我 |║I | |║ /╲`-_/ ︳ | 耍流氓了，你先来吧。”说完，刹那间， ╔ |╝| I |║ `╲￣__ _| I 他的小便戛然而止，又穿上裤带出去了。 ║_| I | |║ / /| | \﹨ | ║-10-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| Jagbin |―――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ _|├| |┑|┤┃ |\▏ I (接上页) ︶ I ║| ￣￣￣ | 我在里面惊恐万分地上完厕所后，出门。他 ╰| ║| __ __ I 看着我笑了一下，说：“这回该我了。”然 ║|I ║| 小 /_ ╲∕_ \ /︳ | 后就进去把刚才没有完成的全部嘘嘘了。 ║|| ║| \\| /||/_╱╱| I 无比佩服此大叔如此的收放自如啊！其实当 _|I ║| 紅 ▕\/∟￣ ﹨ / | 时他就在里面嘘嘘完就行了，我也没说啥啊 | | ║| ∠︹< ˋ-' I |║I ╚|_ ˋ╲ |╲_- __╱ _ˊ| | |║| I╚|╗ \\ |/ ˋ ﹨╯﹨\ | I |║I | |║ ╲|\ \_| _ |/ ︳ | |║| I |║ ﹨╲ ||)/,- _/ I |║I | |║ /╲`-_/ ︳ | ╔ |╝| I |║ `╲￣__ _| I ║_| I | |║ / /| | \﹨ | ║-11-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| Jagbin |―――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ _|├| |┑|┤┃ |\▏ I ﹢高中老师在聚会上的彪悍语录︶ I ║| ￣￣￣ | ╰| ║| __ __ I 某次高中同学聚会，以下是其中老师的彪悍 ║|I ║| 小 /_ ╲∕_ \ /︳ | 语录。 ║|| ║| \\| /||/_╱╱| I 语文老师是个热心大妈——得知班上曾经自 _|I ║| 紅 ▕\/∟￣ ﹨ / | 己最喜欢的语文科代表（女生）已经结婚了 | | ║| ∠︹< ˋ-' I 都有种想用它擤鼻涕，擤完鼻涕晾干了再发 |║I ╚|_ ˋ╲ |╲_- __╱ _ˊ| | 给你的冲动。…我想问老师，你擤过没啊… |║| I╚|╗ \\ |/ ˋ ﹨╯﹨\ | I 物理老师对一成绩较差的男生说：别以为我 |║I | |║ ╲|\ \_| _ |/ ︳ | 不知道你考试通过右手左手法则和谁谁传信 |║| I |║ ﹨╲ ||)/,- _/ I 号递答案，我其实每次都想，一个判断受力 |║I | |║ /╲`-_/ ︳ | 方向电流方向都要用怎么久的人，作弊也 ╔ |╝| I |║ `╲￣__ _| I 不会怎样！全场稍微冷了下，然后爆笑… ║_| I | |║ / /| | \﹨ | ║-12-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| yutourr |――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ __ _ _ _ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ |_||_|│|_||_||-< |- 职业水车技，发动剁交后，所有︶ I ║| ╱ | 娇客势力女性角色依次选择是否 ╰| ║| ︶︵ ╱︳ I 接受鱼头翻牌，直到有一名角色 ║|I ║| 魚 ( ) ╱╱ | 或没有角色决定如此作时为止。 ║|| ║| ╭╮︶ ___ I _|I ║| 頭 ╰╯ _/︵ [\ | < 冷藏 > 发动此技能后，其他角色体温跌 | | ║| ○ /_︶_ \|_> I 至绝对零度以下，直接禁手并送 |║I ║| 哥 o ╱_ ￣ ╲ ︳ | 小黑屋由小姨急救。 |║| ║| / (' ) \) )|\>_ I |║I ║| /|╱ ＞︶ ▕ )│╲/ | |║| ║| ▕_\╱ ╲___ ╱`- \ˊ｀ `\ | |║| I╚|╗︶ \ / |︶/╰I |║I | |║|| |/|_╱_ | │ ╱| |║| I |║|| | >- --╭,\| ヽ___(I |║I | |║\| | `\\_ `< \ \ \ | ╔ |╝| I |║ ﹨_| | `-╲_ ╲╲_╲/ I ║_| I | |║ ︳ \_< | ￣ | ║-13-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| yutourr |――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ __ _ _ _ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ |_||_|│|_||_||-< |- I 了。傍晚七个小人回来了，白雪公主说：“ |║I ║| 哥 o ╱_ ￣ ╲ ︳ | 你们就是我命中的七个小矮人吧。”七个人 |║| ║| / (' ) \) )|\>_ I 面面相觑，然后说：“你走错地方了，我们 |║I ║| /|╱ ＞︶ ▕ )│╲/ | 是葫芦娃。” |║| ║| ▕_\╱ ╲___ ╱`- \ˊ｀ `\ | ﹢黑丝 |║| I╚|╗︶ \ / |︶/╰I |║I | |║|| |/|_╱_ | │ ╱| 某男控黑丝，偶获穿越机会，告之曰：“愿 |║| I |║|| | >- --╭,\| ヽ___(I 有黑丝，日日相伴。”白光闪现，穿越完成 |║I | |║\| | `\\_ `< \ \ \ | ，睁眼一看眼前一条黑汉子喜道：“醒了 ╔ |╝| I |║ ﹨_| | `-╲_ ╲╲_╲/ I 。”旁边一众男子哈哈大笑：“你这黑厮 ║_| I | |║ ︳ \_< | ￣ | ，对公明哥哥真是忠心不二。” ║-14-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| yutourr |――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ __ _ _ _ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ |_||_|│|_||_||-< |- I 神情比较严肃，于是说道：“我先讲个笑话 |║I ║| 哥 o ╱_ ￣ ╲ ︳ | ，缓解一下大家的情绪。” |║| ║| / (' ) \) )|\>_ I |║I ║| /|╱ ＞︶ ▕ )│╲/ | ﹢老子讲“道” |║| ║| ▕_\╱ ╲___ ╱`- \ˊ｀ `\ | “道可道，非常道，你心中所追求之物、牵 |║| I╚|╗︶ \ / |︶/╰I 挂之物、执着之物，就是你的道。有人痴情 |║I | |║|| |/|_╱_ | │ ╱| 一生，修得便是痴情道；有人至孝，修得便 |║| I |║|| | >- --╭,\| ヽ___(I 是孝道；有人嗜杀戮，修得就是杀戮道。” |║I | |║\| | `\\_ `< \ \ \ | 老子转而问一个少年：“少年，你追求的 ╔ |╝| I |║ ﹨_| | `-╲_ ╲╲_╲/ I 是什么？”“考上一本。”“一本道，” ║_| I | |║ ︳ \_< | ￣ | 老子慈祥的说。 ║-15-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| yutourr |――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ __ _ _ _ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ |_||_|│|_||_||-< |- I 。张飞接过酒杯，看了一会，高兴的大喊： |║I ║| 哥 o ╱_ ￣ ╲ ︳ | 溶了！大哥，二哥，你们的血溶了！ |║| ║| / (' ) \) )|\>_ I |║I ║| /|╱ ＞︶ ▕ )│╲/ | ﹢西毒北丐 |║| ║| ▕_\╱ ╲___ ╱`- \ˊ｀ `\ | 欧阳锋父子将洪七公郭靖黄蓉围在山洞里出 |║| I╚|╗︶ \ / |︶/╰I 不来，欧阳父子也进不去。黄蓉说：“七公 |║I | |║|| |/|_╱_ | │ ╱| ，你写个：要老叫化屈服，没门。贴在洞口 |║| I |║|| | >- --╭,\| ヽ___(I ，激励斗志。”七公然之。次日欧阳克看到 |║I | |║\| | `\\_ `< \ \ \ | ，大怒：叔叔，原来你跑到这儿是来搞基 ╔ |╝| I |║ ﹨_| | `-╲_ ╲╲_╲/ I 的。欧阳锋说没啊，欧阳克说：还没有， ║_| I | |║ ︳ \_< | ￣ | 你看老叫化写的：想要老叫化屁股，没门 ║-16-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| SundayMore |―――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝▃ _ ▁ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╲ |_||\||_)|┤|_︳ I < 真国色 > 出牌阶段，你可以将任何其他︶ I ║| ▔ _ _ _┌│ | 角色的恨嫁、逼婚言论当“乐 ╰| ║| |\/||_||-< |- ▔ I 不思蜀”使用。 ║|I ║| _ _ ▔ | ║|| ║| >`︿-'< ╲ I < 标点爸 > 锁定技，你的所有与老爸有关 _|I ║| /∕￣￣╲ ﹨ | 牌均视为带有萌蜀黍属性。 | | ║| ︳/_\|╲_\╲ | I |║I ║| \|_▁ _▁ | | | < 毒舌男 > 此技能可使其他角色均失去一 |║| ║| | (') (') │|| I 点体力，同时失去自身全部人 |║I ║| ﹨︳、 ▕/∕ | 品和体力。 |║| ║| ╲_- __╱_ I |║I ╚|_ -<｀ /∠__>, | |║| I╚|╗ | /`/╲' │\ I |║I | |║ │_\|><_\|_ ︳︳ | |║| I |║ \'│_ _∕'/ | I |║I | |║ ( '}-<︷ノ\ ▕ | ╔ |╝| I |║ ` ︳<_> ︳╲│ I ║_| I | |║ │ | |/\ \︳ | ║-17-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| SundayMore |―――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝▃ _ ▁ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╲ |_||\||_)|┤|_︳ I ﹢大龄剩女的标点爸，伤不起︶ I ║| ▔ _ _ _┌│ | ╰| ║| |\/||_||-< |- ▔ I 大龄剩女悠然自得，家有老爸忧心如焚，时 ║|I ║| _ _ ▔ | 刻不忘刺激闺女，处处带刺哭笑不得。 ║|| ║| >`︿-'< ╲ I _|I ║| /∕￣￣╲ ﹨ | ———————背景分割线——————— | | ║| ︳/_\|╲_\╲ | I |║I ║| \|_▁ _▁ | | | 上周回家过周末，下午独自去了外婆家。 |║| ║| | (') (') │|| I 爸爸发来短信，问：你在哪？ |║I ║| ﹨︳、 ▕/∕ | 我：在外婆家。 |║| ║| ╲_- __╱_ I 爸爸：啥时候改成：‘在外，婆家’就好 |║I ╚|_ -<｀ /∠__>, | 了…… |║| I╚|╗ | /`/╲' │\ I 标点爸，伤不起……π_π |║I | |║ │_\|><_\|_ ︳︳ | |║| I |║ \'│_ _∕'/ | I |║I | |║ ( '}-<︷ノ\ ▕ | ╔ |╝| I |║ ` ︳<_> ︳╲│ I ║_| I | |║ │ | |/\ \︳ | ║-18-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| SundayMore |―――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝▃ _ ▁ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╲ |_||\||_)|┤|_︳ I ﹢问年龄︶ I ║| ▔ _ _ _┌│ | ╰| ║| |\/||_||-< |- ▔ I 部门招了个小mm，脸嫩，肯定是85后，具体 ║|I ║| _ _ ▔ | 哪一年不是很清楚。 ║|| ║| >`︿-'< ╲ I 毒舌男同事问：mm你哪一年的？ _|I ║| /∕￣￣╲ ﹨ | 大家纷纷说：哪有你这样的，太直白了吧， | | ║| ︳/_\|╲_\╲ | I 女孩子的年龄不要随便打听 |║I ║| \|_▁ _▁ | | | 毒舌男，顿了顿，说：“好吧，呃，那mm你 |║| ║| | (') (') │|| I 出生那年开始搞改革开放了吗？” |║I ║| ﹨︳、 ▕/∕ | |║| ║| ╲_- __╱_ I - -！ |║I ╚|_ -<｀ /∠__>, | |║| I╚|╗ | /`/╲' │\ I 大家都很无语，尤其是几个70年代的，低沉 |║I | |║ │_\|><_\|_ ︳︳ | 而恶狠狠地发出了一个音：靠 |║| I |║ \'│_ _∕'/ | I |║I | |║ ( '}-<︷ノ\ ▕ | ╔ |╝| I |║ ` ︳<_> ︳╲│ I ║_| I | |║ │ | |/\ \︳ | ║-19-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| SundayMore |―――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝▃ _ ▁ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╲ |_||\||_)|┤|_︳ I ﹢深圳是个好地方︶ I ║| ▔ _ _ _┌│ | ╰| ║| |\/||_||-< |- ▔ I 我们有个主持人，年假去了巴黎度假。 ║|I ║| _ _ ▔ | 在卢浮宫拍了照片，发在了自己微博上。 ║|| ║| >`︿-'< ╲ I 结果她有一粉丝这么给她留言的： _|I ║| /∕￣￣╲ ﹨ | 哇，你又去世界之窗了啊？你们深圳的人好 | | ║| ︳/_\|╲_\╲ | I 幸福啊，时不时就能去一次世界之窗玩 |║I ║| \|_▁ _▁ | | | |║| ║| | (') (') │|| I 大家都很无语。。。 |║I ║| ﹨︳、 ▕/∕ | |║| ║| ╲_- __╱_ I |║I ╚|_ -<｀ /∠__>, | |║| I╚|╗ | /`/╲' │\ I |║I | |║ │_\|><_\|_ ︳︳ | |║| I |║ \'│_ _∕'/ | I |║I | |║ ( '}-<︷ノ\ ▕ | ╔ |╝| I |║ ` ︳<_> ︳╲│ I ║_| I | |║ │ | |/\ \︳ | ║-20-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| lyklykkkkkkk |――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ I < 原创 > 每使用此技能，即视为一次笑点。︶ I ║| __ | ╰| ║|╰| /) (| _ ╱> I ║|I ║| | ╮ │|﹀'>ˊ /| \ ╱ | < 宅男 > 对每位技术宅男角色造成伤害。 ║|| ║| ▔ ▕ ﹨╱ _╲V/ I _|I ║| |_︳ \ /╱_￣ ▔ | | ║| ╭│ ( ╲_ _/ _ /)) |║I ║| ▔_ |\ `-' .-'︳⌒ ） |║| ║| |/ | ╲ ╱二\/ ╱︶ |║I ║| |╲╮ ╱ \ ︶ ╲ | |║| ║| ▔ ╭<_ˊ \ \ I |║I ╚|_ ╱`' \ ╲, ︳ | |║| I╚|╗︿<╱ |- ╲ __ _| I |║I | __╱')╮ ╱ __ ╰﹨ | |║| \ / _\╯ | ╲ _| I |║I /\_/ / ╰-︿╯ ╲ \ | ╔ |╝| ︳ ╱ ︶ I ║_| I \__╱ | ║-21-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| lyklykkkkkkk |――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ I ﹢搜索引擎聊天︶ I ║| __ | ╰| ║|╰| /) (| _ ╱> I 谷歌：I'm google~ If you wanna know me ║|I ║| | ╮ │|﹀'>ˊ /| \ ╱ | , just google~ ║|| ║| ▔ ▕ ﹨╱ _╲V/ I 百度：I'm baidu~ If you wanna know me, _|I ║| |_︳ \ /╱_￣ ▔ just baidu~ | | ║| ╭│ ( ╲_ _/ _ /)) 搜搜（心里骂这群王八蛋）：你们聊，我先 |║I ║| ▔_ |\ `-' .-'︳⌒ ）走了。 |║| ║| |/ | ╲ ╱二\/ ╱︶ |║I ║| |╲╮ ╱ \ ︶ ╲ | |║| ║| ▔ ╭<_ˊ \ \ I |║I ╚|_ ╱`' \ ╲, ︳ | |║| I╚|╗︿<╱ |- ╲ __ _| I |║I | __╱')╮ ╱ __ ╰﹨ | |║| \ / _\╯ | ╲ _| I |║I /\_/ / ╰-︿╯ ╲ \ | ╔ |╝| ︳ ╱ ︶ I ║_| I \__╱ | ║-22-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| lyklykkkkkkk |――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ I ﹢被打了一顿︶ I ║| __ | ╰| ║|╰| /) (| _ ╱> I 和女友在百脑汇卖场溜达，她接了个电话， ║|I ║| | ╮ │|﹀'>ˊ /| \ ╱ | 卖场太吵，总是听不清对方说什么。 ║|| ║| ▔ ▕ ﹨╱ _╲V/ I 我跟她说，戴耳机吧。 _|I ║| |_︳ \ /╱_￣ ▔ 她没听清。 | | ║| ╭│ ( ╲_ _/ _ /)) 我就提高音量重复一遍，戴耳机吧。 |║I ║| ▔_ |\ `-' .-'︳⌒ ）然后附近戴尔电脑的柜台那边冲出一群人， |║| ║| |/ | ╲ ╱二\/ ╱︶把我揍了一顿。 |║I ║| |╲╮ ╱ \ ︶ ╲ | |║| ║| ▔ ╭<_ˊ \ \ I |║I ╚|_ ╱`' \ ╲, ︳ | |║| I╚|╗︿<╱ |- ╲ __ _| I |║I | __╱')╮ ╱ __ ╰﹨ | |║| \ / _\╯ | ╲ _| I |║I /\_/ / ╰-︿╯ ╲ \ | ╔ |╝| ︳ ╱ ︶ I ║_| I \__╱ | ║-23-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| lyklykkkkkkk |――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ I ﹢你愿意吗？︶ I ║| __ | ╰| ║|╰| /) (| _ ╱> I 在我还不知道什么是宅男的时候，我有一个 ║|I ║| | ╮ │|﹀'>ˊ /| \ ╱ | 宅男朋友，叫R，他家住五楼，通过各种偷 ║|| ║| ▔ ▕ ﹨╱ _╲V/ I 窥，看中对面楼里新搬来的一MM。 _|I ║| |_︳ \ /╱_￣ ▔ 在我撺掇之下，他准备了喇叭，要告白。 | | ║| ╭│ ( ╲_ _/ _ /)) 现在那个MM在窗前，好机会啊。但就像你身 |║I ║| ▔_ |\ `-' .-'︳⌒ ）边闷骚宅男一样，R真遇到事儿也畏缩。 |║| ║| |/ | ╲ ╱二\/ ╱︶我不住地给他鼓劲，他终于大声喊道：“对 |║I ║| |╲╮ ╱ \ ︶ ╲ | 面的同学，你愿意和我交个朋友吗？” |║| ║| ▔ ╭<_ˊ \ \ I 我们激动地看着对面，MM说了什么，但她没 |║I ╚|_ ╱`' \ ╲, ︳ | 喇叭，嗓门也没那么大，听不到啊…… |║| I╚|╗︿<╱ |- ╲ __ _| I 但是宅男有宅男的办法，R灵机一动，喊道： |║I | __╱')╮ ╱ __ ╰﹨ | “要是愿意，就挥一下手，要是不愿意，就 |║| \ / _\╯ | ╲ _| I 挥两下。” |║I /\_/ / ╰-︿╯ ╲ \ | 我们更加激动地看着对面，MM挥了一下手 ╔ |╝| ︳ ╱ ︶ I ！！！ ║_| I \__╱ | 等等… ║-24-| | ―【Ｃlan１.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| lyklykkkkkkk |――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ I (续上页) ︶ I ║| __ | 她又挥了一下。。。 ╰| ║|╰| /) (| _ ╱> I 我默然。 ║|I ║| | ╮ │|﹀'>ˊ /| \ ╱ | 可是只见R兴高采烈地边跳边说， ║|| ║| ▔ ▕ ﹨╱ _╲V/ I “哇，她说，‘愿意，愿意’！” _|I ║| |_︳ \ /╱_￣ ▔ 我悄悄退散。。。 | | ║| ╭│ ( ╲_ _/ _ /)) 让宅男开心一会儿吧…… |║I ║| ▔_ |\ `-' .-'︳⌒ ） |║| ║| |/ | ╲ ╱二\/ ╱︶ |║I ║| |╲╮ ╱ \ ︶ ╲ | |║| ║| ▔ ╭<_ˊ \ \ I |║I ╚|_ ╱`' \ ╲, ︳ | |║| I╚|╗︿<╱ |- ╲ __ _| I |║I | __╱')╮ ╱ __ ╰﹨ | |║| \ / _\╯ | ╲ _| I |║I /\_/ / ╰-︿╯ ╲ \ | ╔ |╝| ︳ ╱ ︶ I ║_| I \__╱ | ║-25-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――――――――――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╮ I < 黄花鱼 > 鱼纲石首鱼科的脊椎动物，可︶ I ║| ╭─╮│╮ | 食，肉质鲜美，该技能可通杀 ╰| ║| │││ I 文科生玩家。使用方式如下： ║|I ║| ││╯ | | ║|| ║| ╭─╯├╮ | I ╲Ｐ3,ｓ3 Ｐ4,ｓ4╱μ time _|I ║| ╰─╯╯╯ | | ↖︵︵α︵ ↗ ↑ | | ║| | I ↗ ︶γ︶︶↖ │ |║I ║| ╭──┼╮ | | ╱Ｐ1,ｓ1 Ｐ2,ｓ2╲μ │ |║| ║| ╭──╯ | I 4 (ｓ3) (ｓ1) |║I ║| ╰──┼╮ | | (2π)∫[ν(ｐ3)(i√4παγ)ν(ｐ1)] |║| ║| ╭──┼╮ | I |║I ╚|_ ╯ | ) | < 鲜橙多 > 一种饮品，尚未检测出含有三 |║| I╚|╗ ______| ╯ I 聚氰胺鞋拔子地沟油等成分， |║I | |║ __ ( ╰╮ | 多#多漂亮，口感##，#汁富含 |║| I |║ <╲╱>°) ) I ##，使用此技可变为任何角色 |║I | |║ ((| ╱.< | 。 | ╔ |╝| I |║ <╱╲> I < 3Re必x > 此技能分三次使用，第二次还║_| I | |║ °_||_ °。 | 是纯洁无瑕的，(下删三千字)║-26-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 个人篇·万贱齐发| ――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ▕\ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱/ ▕\ I < 万贱齐发 > 锦囊牌，人至贱则无敌，此︶ I ║| ↖ / / ╱/ | 牌以其无以伦比之傻事、糗 ╰| ║| ╲ __ ↖\ / / I 事号令天下 ║|I ║| 万 ↖ ┋ \ ╲ __ │\ | ║|| ║| ╲ __ ヘ ╲ ┋ \| \ I _|I ║| 賤 ┋ \| \ ヘ ╲ | | | ║| ヘ ﹨\╲ | \ ╲ I |║I ║| 齊 ▁▁_ \ |│/╲ ﹨\╲ | |║| ║| __ ╲ _|│_ |│ ╲ I |║I ║| 發 ﹨╱│/_ ╲ |│╱ | |║| ║| ︵╮ //▕/ ╲ \│/ I |║I ╚|_ ╲_│╭︵╮ ﹨︳ _▁ | |║| I╚|╗ (.)▕(_/ ╲_) |︳╱ I |║I | |║ ╮ | (.(. )╯ |// | |║| I |║灬0_)|╭︵╮ │╭︵╮I |║I | |║ ︵│|(0灬0_) ▕(_/ ╲ | ╔ |╝| I |║︶︶▕|| ︵│ | (.(. I ║_| I | |║ \ ︶︶ /|╭︵╮ | ║-27-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 万贱齐发·connect | ―――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ▕\ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱/ ▕\ I ﹢程序员入︶ I ║| ↖ / / ╱/ | ╰| ║| ╲ __ ↖\ / / I 据说某俄国特工九死一生偷到了NASA太空火 ║|I ║| 万 ↖ ┋ \ ╲ __ │\ | 箭发射程序源代码的最后一页，代码是： ║|| ║| ╲ __ ヘ ╲ ┋ \| \ I _|I ║| 賤 ┋ \| \ ヘ ╲ | | | ║| ヘ ﹨\╲ | \ ╲ I |║I ║| 齊 ▁▁_ \ |│/╲ ﹨\╲ | |║| ║| __ ╲ _|│_ |│ ╲ I ｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝ |║I ║| 發 ﹨╱│/_ ╲ |│╱ | ｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝｝ |║| ║| ︵╮ //▕/ ╲ \│/ I |║I ╚|_ ╲_│╭︵╮ ﹨︳ _▁ | |║| I╚|╗ (.)▕(_/ ╲_) |︳╱ I |║I | |║ ╮ | (.(. )╯ |// | |║| I |║灬0_)|╭︵╮ │╭︵╮I |║I | |║ ︵│|(0灬0_) ▕(_/ ╲ | ╔ |╝| I |║︶︶▕|| ︵│ | (.(. I ║_| I | |║ \ ︶︶ /|╭︵╮ | ║-28-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 万贱齐发·forz |―――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ▕\ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱/ ▕\ I ﹢地铁里看见的真事︶ I ║| ↖ / / ╱/ | ╰| ║| ╲ __ ↖\ / / I 地铁里，男A和女B因为一点碰撞吵了起来， ║|I ║| 万 ↖ ┋ \ ╲ __ │\ | 到一站停了，女B下车了，刚下车犹豫了一 ║|| ║| ╲ __ ヘ ╲ ┋ \| \ I 下，冲上来挥手给了A一个耳光，然后转身 _|I ║| 賤 ┋ \| \ ヘ ╲ | 就跑，结果涌上来一群人，又把B给挤回来 | | ║| ヘ ﹨\╲ | \ ╲ I 了，没下去车。然后A就冲上去踢了B一脚。 |║I ║| 齊 ▁▁_ \ |│/╲ ﹨\╲ | B还手。之后开始一直动手打架，还互骂。 |║| ║| __ ╲ _|│_ |│ ╲ I 然后过了N站，还没停止。这时候突然一个 |║I ║| 發 ﹨╱│/_ ╲ |│╱ | 壮汉站起来了，大吼：别TM打了，cao！老 |║| ║| ︵╮ //▕/ ╲ \│/ I 子看你们打架都看过站了！ |║I ╚|_ ╲_│╭︵╮ ﹨︳ _▁ | |║| I╚|╗ (.)▕(_/ ╲_) |︳╱ I |║I | |║ ╮ | (.(. )╯ |// | |║| I |║灬0_)|╭︵╮ │╭︵╮I |║I | |║ ︵│|(0灬0_) ▕(_/ ╲ | ╔ |╝| I |║︶︶▕|| ︵│ | (.(. I ║_| I | |║ \ ︶︶ /|╭︵╮ | ║-29-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 万贱齐发·jackieand | ――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ▕\ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱/ ▕\ I ﹢你后面有一只猪︶ I ║| ↖ / / ╱/ | ╰| ║| ╲ __ ↖\ / / I 记得在大学时，一晚自习课，想让我同桌班 ║|I ║| 万 ↖ ┋ \ ╲ __ │\ | 长出一下洋相，我往他后面贴了一张纸，纸 ║|| ║| ╲ __ ヘ ╲ ┋ \| \ I 上画了一只猪。他后桌是一个很胖的女生， _|I ║| 賤 ┋ \| \ ヘ ╲ | 胖女生看到之后猛笑，并且越笑越大声，班 | | ║| ヘ ﹨\╲ | \ ╲ I 长责问她为什么笑。那胖女生边笑边指着班 |║I ║| 齊 ▁▁_ \ |│/╲ ﹨\╲ | 长说：“你后面有一只猪……” |║| ║| __ ╲ _|│_ |│ ╲ I |║I ║| 發 ﹨╱│/_ ╲ |│╱ | |║| ║| ︵╮ //▕/ ╲ \│/ I |║I ╚|_ ╲_│╭︵╮ ﹨︳ _▁ | |║| I╚|╗ (.)▕(_/ ╲_) |︳╱ I |║I | |║ ╮ | (.(. )╯ |// | |║| I |║灬0_)|╭︵╮ │╭︵╮I |║I | |║ ︵│|(0灬0_) ▕(_/ ╲ | ╔ |╝| I |║︶︶▕|| ︵│ | (.(. I ║_| I | |║ \ ︶︶ /|╭︵╮ | ║-30-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 万贱齐发·longskychina |―――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ▕\ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱/ ▕\ I ﹢高中的一个同学︶ I ║| ↖ / / ╱/ | ╰| ║| ╲ __ ↖\ / / I 记得高中时候上晚自习，一哥们在最后一排 ║|I ║| 万 ↖ ┋ \ ╲ __ │\ | 睡觉。突然醒了，然后把灯关了，接着睡觉。║|| ║| ╲ __ ヘ ╲ ┋ \| \ I 当时全班同学都看傻了。 _|I ║| 賤 ┋ \| \ ヘ ╲ | | | ║| ヘ ﹨\╲ | \ ╲ I |║I ║| 齊 ▁▁_ \ |│/╲ ﹨\╲ | |║| ║| __ ╲ _|│_ |│ ╲ I |║I ║| 發 ﹨╱│/_ ╲ |│╱ | |║| ║| ︵╮ //▕/ ╲ \│/ I |║I ╚|_ ╲_│╭︵╮ ﹨︳ _▁ | |║| I╚|╗ (.)▕(_/ ╲_) |︳╱ I |║I | |║ ╮ | (.(. )╯ |// | |║| I |║灬0_)|╭︵╮ │╭︵╮I |║I | |║ ︵│|(0灬0_) ▕(_/ ╲ | ╔ |╝| I |║︶︶▕|| ︵│ | (.(. I ║_| I | |║ \ ︶︶ /|╭︵╮ | ║-31-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 万贱齐发·opiuk | ――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ▕\ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱/ ▕\ I ﹢冲错话费了︶ I ║| ↖ / / ╱/ | ╰| ║| ╲ __ ↖\ / / I 充电话费充错手机号了，因为充了100有点 ║|I ║| 万 ↖ ┋ \ ╲ __ │\ | 心疼，就给那个哥们打了过去，说能不能给 ║|| ║| ╲ __ ヘ ╲ ┋ \| \ I 我充回来～结果那哥们特郁闷的说：兄弟， _|I ║| 賤 ┋ \| \ ヘ ╲ | 年底了，全是要帐的，我好不容易停机了， | | ║| ヘ ﹨\╲ | \ ╲ I 你他妈的又给我充上了…… |║I ║| 齊 ▁▁_ \ |│/╲ ﹨\╲ | |║| ║| __ ╲ _|│_ |│ ╲ I |║I ║| 發 ﹨╱│/_ ╲ |│╱ | |║| ║| ︵╮ //▕/ ╲ \│/ I |║I ╚|_ ╲_│╭︵╮ ﹨︳ _▁ | |║| I╚|╗ (.)▕(_/ ╲_) |︳╱ I |║I | |║ ╮ | (.(. )╯ |// | |║| I |║灬0_)|╭︵╮ │╭︵╮I |║I | |║ ︵│|(0灬0_) ▕(_/ ╲ | ╔ |╝| I |║︶︶▕|| ︵│ | (.(. I ║_| I | |║ \ ︶︶ /|╭︵╮ | ║-32-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 万贱齐发·veheibo | ―――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ▕\ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱/ ▕\ I ﹢烧柱香︶ I ║| ↖ / / ╱/ | ╰| ║| ╲ __ ↖\ / / I 住校，晚上天气闷热，又没有电，于是把凉 ║|I ║| 万 ↖ ┋ \ ╲ __ │\ | 席铺到楼道睡。刚躺下就被蚊子编队围住… ║|| ║| ╲ __ ヘ ╲ ┋ \| \ I 翻箱倒柜找出盘蚊香，点上放在脚底下，这 _|I ║| 賤 ┋ \| \ ヘ ╲ | 才安然睡去… | | ║| ヘ ﹨\╲ | \ ╲ I 又不到一个钟头，我被一声男人的尖叫惊醒 |║I ║| 齊 ▁▁_ \ |│/╲ ﹨\╲ | ，我大怒，只见一人影哆哆嗦嗦地说：“你 |║| ║| __ ╲ _|│_ |│ ╲ I 、你大爷的！铺个草席躺楼道里就够吓人的 |║I ║| 發 ﹨╱│/_ ╲ |│╱ | 了，还烧柱香…” |║| ║| ︵╮ //▕/ ╲ \│/ I |║I ╚|_ ╲_│╭︵╮ ﹨︳ _▁ | |║| I╚|╗ (.)▕(_/ ╲_) |︳╱ I |║I | |║ ╮ | (.(. )╯ |// | |║| I |║灬0_)|╭︵╮ │╭︵╮I |║I | |║ ︵│|(0灬0_) ▕(_/ ╲ | ╔ |╝| I |║︶︶▕|| ︵│ | (.(. I ║_| I | |║ \ ︶︶ /|╭︵╮ | ║-33-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 个人篇·情锁连环 |――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╲ I < 情锁连环 > 选择一至多名异性目标角色︶ I ║| ╲ ___ | ，降低他/她们的判断力； ╰| ║| ╱ _╲ I 若目标角色也对你使用此锦 ║|I ║| 情 / ╱ ╲╲ ___ | 囊，则两人自动适用乐不思 ║|| ║| │__ \ │││ ╱ _ ╲ I 蜀，相对于其他玩家，两人 _|I ║| 索 \ _╲╲`/ / / ╱\╲ \╱| 体力、智商均自动归零。 | | ║| ╲﹨\╱ /╲__/ / \ \ I |║I ║| 連 ╲___|│╱ ╲__╱ ∕\ | |║| ║| | |│▁ ╲ ╲| |︳I |║I ║| 環︶\╱︶\ \ ╲ ﹨ ╲| |║| ║| (ハ︳︳ ╲_╲ I |║I ╚|_ ハ) ) | │ | |║| I╚|╗ ( \_ ∕ / I |║I | |║ _/ ˊ / | |║| I |║ _/\ ╱_╱ I |║I | |║ `￣ | ╔ |╝| I |║ I ║_| I | |║ | ║-34-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 情锁连环·cuco |―――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╲ I ﹢邻居是一位90岁的老头︶ I ║| ╲ ___ | ╰| ║| ╱ _╲ I 邻居是一位90岁的老头，每天骑自行车去海 ║|I ║| 情 / ╱ ╲╲ ___ | 边的老人院。这天出门我正好遇上他，问： ║|| ║| │__ \ │││ ╱ _ ╲ I “您每天都骑自行车去那儿，有什么好玩的 _|I ║| 索 \ _╲╲`/ / / ╱\╲ \╱| 吗？”他一边推自行车一边回答：“有很多 | | ║| ╲﹨\╱ /╲__/ / \ \ I 七八十岁又年轻又单身的女人！” |║I ║| 連 ╲___|│╱ ╲__╱ ∕\ | |║| ║| | |│▁ ╲ ╲| |︳I ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~赞下~！ |║I ║| 環︶\╱︶\ \ ╲ ﹨ ╲| |║| ║| (ハ︳︳ ╲_╲ I |║I ╚|_ ハ) ) | │ | |║| I╚|╗ ( \_ ∕ / I |║I | |║ _/ ˊ / | |║| I |║ _/\ ╱_╱ I |║I | |║ `￣ | ╔ |╝| I |║ I ║_| I | |║ | ║-35-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 情锁连环·gs02 |―――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╲ I ﹢我和mm ︶ I ║| ╲ ___ | ╰| ║| ╱ _╲ I 我理mm文，我平时较少言。 ║|I ║| 情 / ╱ ╲╲ ___ | 某天说到概率，mm开始长篇大论。我懒得理 ║|| ║| │__ \ │││ ╱ _ ╲ I 她，就说：你根本不懂数学！于是mm无语， _|I ║| 索 \ _╲╲`/ / / ╱\╲ \╱| 表情很是郁闷 | | ║| ╲﹨\╱ /╲__/ / \ \ I 今天下午我骑车带着mm从六教回来，途中下 |║I ║| 連 ╲___|│╱ ╲__╱ ∕\ | 坡，超车无数。 mm又开始她的理论，惯性 |║| ║| | |│▁ ╲ ╲| |︳I 和质量成正比，我们是两个人所以跑得快。 |║I ║| 環︶\╱︶\ \ ╲ ﹨ ╲| 我懒得跟她解释摩擦力什么都是正比于重力 |║| ║| (ハ︳︳ ╲_╲ I 的，就说：你根本不懂物理！ |║I ╚|_ ハ) ) | │ | mm又无语，继续郁闷。 |║| I╚|╗ ( \_ ∕ / I 过了很久，mm说 |║I | |║ _/ ˊ / | 你根本不懂女人！！ |║| I |║ _/\ ╱_╱ I 根本不懂女人！！ |║I | |║ `￣ | 不懂女人！！ ╔ |╝| I |║ I 女人！！ ║_| I | |║ | ！！！！！ ║-36-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 情锁连环·shengbanxia | ―――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╲ I ﹢哭笑不得︶ I ║| ╲ ___ | ╰| ║| ╱ _╲ I 老公在上一个东家那里还有最后一笔现金工 ║|I ║| 情 / ╱ ╲╲ ___ | 资要领，因为他比较忙我比较闲，我要替他 ║|| ║| │__ \ │││ ╱ _ ╲ I 去领，被老公坚决拒绝．我以为他不想工资 _|I ║| 索 \ _╲╲`/ / / ╱\╲ \╱| 被＂充公＂呢，结果他半天幽幽地说道：＂ | | ║| ╲﹨\╱ /╲__/ / \ \ I 你不能去…因为我已经在他们面前把你吹得 |║I ║| 連 ╲___|│╱ ╲__╱ ∕\ | 跟天仙一样了…＂ |║| ║| | |│▁ ╲ ╲| |︳I |║I ║| 環︶\╱︶\ \ ╲ ﹨ ╲| |║| ║| (ハ︳︳ ╲_╲ I |║I ╚|_ ハ) ) | │ | |║| I╚|╗ ( \_ ∕ / I |║I | |║ _/ ˊ / | |║| I |║ _/\ ╱_╱ I |║I | |║ `￣ | ╔ |╝| I |║ I ║_| I | |║ | ║-37-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 个人篇·过河拆桥 |――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ __ 圭 __ _ ___ I < 过河拆桥 > 宁可我负天下人，休教天下︶ I ║| ︺ ╱ | 人负我！此技能以其损人不 ╰| ║| __ _ _ ╱╱ I 利己的损事、损话致使和你 ║|I ║| 過 ╱╱╱ | 同一角色（水车）的玩家丧 ║|| ║| ___ _ ╱╱|| I 失一点体力。 _|I ║| 河 ╱╱╱︶ ╲ | | | ║| ╱╱|| ╲ I |║I ║| 拆 <╱╱︶ ╲╲ | |║| ║| ▔ / ╲ ╲ ╱ I |║I ║| 橋 _ / ╲ ╲ ╱╱ | |║| ║| ╱> ╲ <╱| I |║I ╚|_ ╱╱ ___ ╲ ╱ | |║| I╚|╗ ╱|╱╲ _ / I |║I | |║ || ╲ 〈\\ | |║| I |║╱︶ ╲╲ \\\ I |║I | |║ ╲ ╲ ╲╲ (( \\\ ))| ╔ |╝| I |║ ╲ ╱> >-_╰ ﹀'╯I ║_| I | |║ ╲╲ ╱|╱ __ -- | ║-38-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 过河拆桥·jixiesheji |――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ __ 圭 __ _ ___ I ﹢国庆的时候吃饭︶ I ║| ︺ ╱ | ╰| ║| __ _ _ ╱╱ I 国庆和一哥们饭店吃饭。菜上齐、哥们儿喊 ║|I ║| 過 ╱╱╱ | 服务员：信不信我用大拇指就能把啤酒打开 ║|| ║| ___ _ ╱╱|| I 。服务员惊奇的说：不信。哥们儿淡淡的说 _|I ║| 河 ╱╱╱︶ ╲ | ：那你还不把瓶起子拿来？！ | | ║| ╱╱|| ╲ I |║I ║| 拆 <╱╱︶ ╲╲ | |║| ║| ▔ / ╲ ╲ ╱ I |║I ║| 橋 _ / ╲ ╲ ╱╱ | |║| ║| ╱> ╲ <╱| I |║I ╚|_ ╱╱ ___ ╲ ╱ | |║| I╚|╗ ╱|╱╲ _ / I |║I | |║ || ╲ 〈\\ | |║| I |║╱︶ ╲╲ \\\ I |║I | |║ ╲ ╲ ╲╲ (( \\\ ))| ╔ |╝| I |║ ╲ ╱> >-_╰ ﹀'╯I ║_| I | |║ ╲╲ ╱|╱ __ -- | ║-39-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 过河拆桥·landx | ――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ __ 圭 __ _ ___ I ﹢这是哪只股票？︶ I ║| ︺ ╱ | ╰| ║| __ _ _ ╱╱ I 半年前，为了鞭策自己减肥，我坚持每天记 ║|I ║| 過 ╱╱╱ | 录自己的体重，填入Excel表格，生成一个 ║|| ║| ___ _ ╱╱|| I 走势图…… _|I ║| 河 ╱╱╱︶ ╲ | 今天，同事经过我的座位，只见他走过去了 | | ║| ╱╱|| ╲ I 又若有所思地倒了回来，趴我耳边悄悄问： |║I ║| 拆 <╱╱︶ ╲╲ | 那个……能不能透露一下，你这是哪只股票 |║| ║| ▔ / ╲ ╲ ╱ I 啊？走势蛮好的…… |║I ║| 橋 _ / ╲ ╲ ╱╱ | |║| ║| ╱> ╲ <╱| I |║I ╚|_ ╱╱ ___ ╲ ╱ | |║| I╚|╗ ╱|╱╲ _ / I |║I | |║ || ╲ 〈\\ | |║| I |║╱︶ ╲╲ \\\ I |║I | |║ ╲ ╲ ╲╲ (( \\\ ))| ╔ |╝| I |║ ╲ ╱> >-_╰ ﹀'╯I ║_| I | |║ ╲╲ ╱|╱ __ -- | ║-40-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 过河拆桥·shaofanyun |――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ __ 圭 __ _ ___ I ﹢刚才吃巫山烤全鱼丢人了︶ I ║| ︺ ╱ | ╰| ║| __ _ _ ╱╱ I 公司洗手间的水龙头都是感应的，习惯了， ║|I ║| 過 ╱╱╱ | 刚才team building去上地的巫山烤全鱼吃 ║|| ║| ___ _ ╱╱|| I 午饭，中间去洗手间洗手，手在龙头下面呆 _|I ║| 河 ╱╱╱︶ ╲ | 了半天不见出水，这是一个大叔过来帮我打 | | ║| ╱╱|| ╲ I 开水龙头，俺表示感谢，大叔说，水要拧一 |║I ║| 拆 <╱╱︶ ╲╲ | 下，然后加了一句，大城市就是不一样吧。 |║| ║| ▔ / ╲ ╲ ╱ I |║I ║| 橋 _ / ╲ ╲ ╱╱ | 靠，IT民工穿的破烂了点怎么啦 |║| ║| ╱> ╲ <╱| I |║I ╚|_ ╱╱ ___ ╲ ╱ | |║| I╚|╗ ╱|╱╲ _ / I |║I | |║ || ╲ 〈\\ | |║| I |║╱︶ ╲╲ \\\ I |║I | |║ ╲ ╲ ╲╲ (( \\\ ))| ╔ |╝| I |║ ╲ ╱> >-_╰ ﹀'╯I ║_| I | |║ ╲╲ ╱|╱ __ -- | ║-41-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 过河拆桥·Silmarillion |―――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ __ 圭 __ _ ___ I ﹢想起我遇到的一个︶ I ║| ︺ ╱ | ╰| ║| __ _ _ ╱╱ I 有次在地铁里，看到一个老太太一上车，就 ║|I ║| 過 ╱╱╱ | 被某热心乘客让座老太太再三推辞，无奈坐 ║|| ║| ___ _ ╱╱|| I 下一站之后，老太太再也坐不住了，站起来 _|I ║| 河 ╱╱╱︶ ╲ | ，从包里掏出一打北京地图..... | | ║| ╱╱|| ╲ I |║I ║| 拆 <╱╱︶ ╲╲ | |║| ║| ▔ / ╲ ╲ ╱ I |║I ║| 橋 _ / ╲ ╲ ╱╱ | |║| ║| ╱> ╲ <╱| I |║I ╚|_ ╱╱ ___ ╲ ╱ | |║| I╚|╗ ╱|╱╲ _ / I |║I | |║ || ╲ 〈\\ | |║| I |║╱︶ ╲╲ \\\ I |║I | |║ ╲ ╲ ╲╲ (( \\\ ))| ╔ |╝| I |║ ╲ ╱> >-_╰ ﹀'╯I ║_| I | |║ ╲╲ ╱|╱ __ -- | ║-42-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 过河拆桥·VikingGundam |―――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ __ 圭 __ _ ___ I ﹢充电︶ I ║| ︺ ╱ | ╰| ║| __ _ _ ╱╱ I 在列车洗脸间给手机充电，人靠在墙上发呆 ║|I ║| 過 ╱╱╱ | ，手机连着线放在口袋里。一个来上厕所小 ║|| ║| ___ _ ╱╱|| I 男孩儿回头对他妈妈说：快看，机器人充电 _|I ║| 河 ╱╱╱︶ ╲ | 呢！ | | ║| ╱╱|| ╲ I |║I ║| 拆 <╱╱︶ ╲╲ | |║| ║| ▔ / ╲ ╲ ╱ I |║I ║| 橋 _ / ╲ ╲ ╱╱ | |║| ║| ╱> ╲ <╱| I |║I ╚|_ ╱╱ ___ ╲ ╱ | |║| I╚|╗ ╱|╱╲ _ / I |║I | |║ || ╲ 〈\\ | |║| I |║╱︶ ╲╲ \\\ I |║I | |║ ╲ ╲ ╲╲ (( \\\ ))| ╔ |╝| I |║ ╲ ╱> >-_╰ ﹀'╯I ║_| I | |║ ╲╲ ╱|╱ __ -- | ║-43-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 个人篇·乐不思蜀 |――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ╱ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱ _ __ I < 乐不思蜀 > 高级水车锁定技，使用后可︶ I ║| 〈 ╱ _ | | 降低对手的J点、体力和记 ╰| ║| ╱'╱ /\| >﹨ _ I 忆力。 ║|I ║| 樂 \ ╲/\>_╱╱╱ \ | ║|| ║| ‵<╲「_╱╱ ︹ ╲ I _|I ║| 不 \▔< ︺_∠╱﹨\ \ | | | ║| ╲ \| _> <\︹\│I |║I ║| 思 \ _\╱> ∠/ | |║| ║| ︳ ╲\|╱╱ I |║I ║| 蜀╲ /︳ ╲/ | |║| ║| \ ╲ / ◢◣ ◢◣ I |║I ╚|_ \__ ─ˊ ◥◥◣◢◤◤ | |║| I╚|╗ \ _ __ ◥◥◤◤ / I |║I | |║ ╲/ ╲ ◢◤◥◣ | |║| I |║ ￣ \◢◤◤◥◥◣ I |║I | |║ ◥◤ ◥◤ | ╔ |╝| I |║ I ║_| I | |║ | ║-44-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 乐不思蜀·jikhotel |―――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ╱ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱ _ __ I ﹢低调︶ I ║| 〈 ╱ _ | | ╰| ║| ╱'╱ /\| >﹨ _ I 姥爷推着嘉嘉在小区里溜达，走过一对母女 ║|I ║| 樂 \ ╲/\>_╱╱╱ \ | ，听到俩人在背后说，霍！这孩子真漂亮。 ║|| ║| ‵<╲「_╱╱ ︹ ╲ I 姥爷听完以后，默默转过头，从母女身边又 _|I ║| 不 \▔< ︺_∠╱﹨\ \ | 过了一遍。。。 | | ║| ╲ \| _> <\︹\│I |║I ║| 思 \ _\╱> ∠/ | |║| ║| ︳ ╲\|╱╱ I |║I ║| 蜀╲ /︳ ╲/ | |║| ║| \ ╲ / ◢◣ ◢◣ I |║I ╚|_ \__ ─ˊ ◥◥◣◢◤◤ | |║| I╚|╗ \ _ __ ◥◥◤◤ / I |║I | |║ ╲/ ╲ ◢◤◥◣ | |║| I |║ ￣ \◢◤◤◥◥◣ I |║I | |║ ◥◤ ◥◤ | ╔ |╝| I |║ I ║_| I | |║ | ║-45-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 乐不思蜀·phage | ――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ╱ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱ _ __ I ﹢大陆高校文化气息比香港浓厚︶ I ║| 〈 ╱ _ | | ╰| ║| ╱'╱ /\| >﹨ _ I 有个人向我抱怨说香港的大学，商业气息太 ║|I ║| 樂 \ ╲/\>_╱╱╱ \ | 浓：在校园里搭讪，十个有九是学金融的； ║|| ║| ‵<╲「_╱╱ ︹ ╲ I 餐厅电子屏幕循环闪全球股指、外汇价格。 _|I ║| 不 \▔< ︺_∠╱﹨\ \ | 他认为这挺浮躁，不及内地大学有文化，他 | | ║| ╲ \| _> <\︹\│I 对比说：在内地你每次进校门，保安就会问 |║I ║| 思 \ _\╱> ∠/ | 你三个哲学上的终极问题： |║| ║| ︳ ╲\|╱╱ I “你是谁？” |║I ║| 蜀╲ /︳ ╲/ | “你从哪里来？” |║| ║| \ ╲ / ◢◣ ◢◣ I “你要到哪里去？” |║I ╚|_ \__ ─ˊ ◥◥◣◢◤◤ | 显得很有文化的样子。 |║| I╚|╗ \ _ __ ◥◥◤◤ / I |║I | |║ ╲/ ╲ ◢◤◥◣ | |║| I |║ ￣ \◢◤◤◥◥◣ I |║I | |║ ◥◤ ◥◤ | ╔ |╝| I |║ I ║_| I | |║ | ║-46-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 乐不思蜀·qzstar1985 |――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ╱ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱ _ __ I ﹢数学系一共就十个班︶ I ║| 〈 ╱ _ | | ╰| ║| ╱'╱ /\| >﹨ _ I 数学系一共就十个班。 ║|I ║| 樂 \ ╲/\>_╱╱╱ \ | 今天与某人偶遇。他对我说：“你也数学系 ║|| ║| ‵<╲「_╱╱ ︹ ╲ I 的？你是十班的么？” _|I ║| 不 \▔< ︺_∠╱﹨\ \ | 我对他说：“你是九班的么？” | | ║| ╲ \| _> <\︹\│I 他对我说：“你是八班的么？” |║I ║| 思 \ _\╱> ∠/ | 我对他说：“你是七班的么？” |║| ║| ︳ ╲\|╱╱ I 他对我说：“你是六班的么？” |║I ║| 蜀╲ /︳ ╲/ | 我对他说：“你是五班的么？” |║| ║| \ ╲ / ◢◣ ◢◣ I 他对我说：“你是四班的么？” |║I ╚|_ \__ ─ˊ ◥◥◣◢◤◤ | 我对他说：“你是三班的么？” |║| I╚|╗ \ _ __ ◥◥◤◤ / I 他对我说：“原来你是二班的啊！” |║I | |║ ╲/ ╲ ◢◤◥◣ | 我对他说：“原来你是一班的啊！” |║| I |║ ￣ \◢◤◤◥◥◣ I 二人抚掌欢笑。 |║I | |║ ◥◤ ◥◤ | 旁边传来对话。“你也中文系的？我是二 ╔ |╝| I |║ I 班的，你呢？”“我是一班的。” ║_| I | |║ | 沉默。 ║-47-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 乐不思蜀·taugulua |―――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ╱ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╱ _ __ I ﹢来来，原创。。。︶ I ║| 〈 ╱ _ | | ╰| ║| ╱'╱ /\| >﹨ _ I 不笑不许打我 ║|I ║| 樂 \ ╲/\>_╱╱╱ \ | 刚才看到有人说某2b，在别人的id后面加上 ║|| ║| ‵<╲「_╱╱ ︹ ╲ I 2b，后来被杀当了 _|I ║| 不 \▔< ︺_∠╱﹨\ \ | 突发奇想，如果注册个smth2b会怎么样，结 | | ║| ╲ \| _> <\︹\│I 果不能注册 |║I ║| 思 \ _\╱> ∠/ | smthsb，不能注册，sbsmth，不能注册。。 |║| ║| ︳ ╲\|╱╱ I 。后来一想，是不是带smth的都不能注册， |║I ║| 蜀╲ /︳ ╲/ | 为了保持官方id权威性 |║| ║| \ ╲ / ◢◣ ◢◣ I 结果尝试smthnb，通过了。。。 |║I ╚|_ \__ ─ˊ ◥◥◣◢◤◤ | |║| I╚|╗ \ _ __ ◥◥◤◤ / I |║I | |║ ╲/ ╲ ◢◤◥◣ | |║| I |║ ￣ \◢◤◤◥◥◣ I |║I | |║ ◥◤ ◥◤ | ╔ |╝| I |║ I ║_| I | |║ | ║-48-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 乐不思蜀·图片版 |――――――――――| I _|╔══════════════════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ﹢最近回帖流行用一个“内”字 by xhotkey ︶ I ║| http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/article/MMJoke/105809?s=105809 ╰| ║| ﹢背影…… by VampireJax ║|I ║| 樂 http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/article/MMJoke/109101?s=109101 ║|| ║| ﹢为什么那么多好方案不中标，因为你不了解 by tuboshu _|I ║| 不 http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/#!article/MMJoke/114702?p=1#a0 | | ║| ﹢广州动物公园马路边的插画 by match510520 |║I ║| 思 http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/#!article/MMJoke/99206?p=1#a0 |║| ║| ﹢胖子的用处 by wxfromxh |║I ║| 蜀 http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/#!article/MMJoke/103299?p=1#a0 |║| ║| ﹢犀牛的世界 by at2011518 |║I ╚|_ http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/article/MMJoke/111907?s=111907 |║| I╚|╗ ﹢你怎么不喊我亲？ by dabao |║I | |║ http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/#!article/MMJoke/109446?p=1#a0 |║| I |║ ﹢黄师傅vs霍师傅 by joejunker |║I | |║ http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/#!article/MMJoke/108030?p=1#a0 ╔ |╝| I |║ ║_| I | |║ ║-49-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 集体篇·水车入侵 |――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ___ __ __ ___ I < 水车入侵 > 由3名以上水车联合发动，可︶ I ║| _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ | 造成猪头丧失1点体力，但猪 ╰| ║| _/ ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒ \_ I 头可发动封禁技能反击。 ║|I ║| 水 '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' | ║|| ║| ︺︺︺︺︺︺ I _|I ║| 車 :: | | | ║| :::: I |║I ║| 入 :::::: | |║| ║| :::::::: I |║I ║| 侵 :::: | |║| ║| :::: I |║I ╚|_ :::: | |║| I╚|╗ :::: I |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | |║| I |║ |┤│ │ |┤|_ |＜ I |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ | ╔ |╝| I |║ |┤|- |-< |- I ║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ | ║-50-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·盐多必湿 |―――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ___ __ __ ___ I ﹢盐多必湿︶ I ║| _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ | ╰| ║| _/ ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒ \_ I - 缘起【2011日本核泄露造成中国抢盐潮】 ║|I ║| 水 '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' | ║|| ║| ︺︺︺︺︺︺ I - 水车战局精彩记录 _|I ║| 車 :: | 据说同为盐荒子孙的苏东坡和夫人在没有抢 | | ║| :::: I 到盐之后, 很有感慨的写下了: 相顾无盐, |║I ║| 入 :::::: | 唯有泪千行的名句. by captainclaw |║| ║| :::::::: I |║I ║| 侵 :::: | 上联：日本人在核辐射中等待碘盐 |║| ║| :::: I 下联：中国人抢碘盐以等待核辐射 |║I ╚|_ :::: | 横批：无盐以对 |║| I╚|╗ :::: I 上联：日本是大核民族 |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 下联：中国是盐荒子孙 |║| I |║ |┤│ │ |┤|_ |＜ I 横批：有碘意思 by font |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ | ╔ |╝| I |║ |┤|- |-< |- I 崴脚部发盐人称：作为发盐人，一定知无 ║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ | 不盐，盐无不尽。 by Darrell1203 ║-51-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·盐多必湿 |―――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ___ __ __ ___ I 您盐重了 by uranium ︶ I ║| _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ | (各位盐重了！ by miyami) ╰| ║| _/ ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒ \_ I ║|I ║| 水 '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' | ccav有个主持人叫白盐送 by mislixue ║|| ║| ︺︺︺︺︺︺ I _|I ║| 車 :: | 岩雁筵檐燕，檐燕咽盐，奄奄，岩雁咽咽， | | ║| :::: I 验盐，赝盐焉，厌盐。 |║I ║| 入 :::::: | by semifinal |║| ║| :::::::: I |║I ║| 侵 :::: | 闫彦，胭颜艳妍，腌雁演筵宴严。闫彦严言 |║| ║| :::: I ：“严眼炎，厌盐，焉咽腌雁”闫彦掩颜淹 |║I ╚|_ :::: | 眼。 by SHENOK |║| I╚|╗ :::: I |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 在食盐哄抢之下，某超市咸鱼摊位边增设了 |║| I |║ |┤│ │ |┤|_ |＜ I 4位保安，以防止顾客舔食盐行为，如此为 |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 之的原因是：昨天好好的四尾大咸鱼硬是 ╔ |╝| I |║ |┤|- |-< |- I 被舔成了淡水鱼…… ║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ | 一天之后，又有四尾大咸鱼被舔成淡水鱼 ║-52-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·盐多必湿 |―――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ___ __ __ ___ I (接上页) ︶ I ║| _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ | 了。据目击者称，是保安舔的。于是，四名 ╰| ║| _/ ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒ \_ I 保安被辞退了... by lnf ║|I ║| 水 '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' | ║|| ║| ︺︺︺︺︺︺ I 今天某会场突发骚乱，不知何故与会者争相 _|I ║| 車 :: | 冲上台导致踩踏事件。警方来到医院想从会 | | ║| :::: I 议主持人那里得到事件真相，主持人奄奄一 |║I ║| 入 :::::: | 息的说道：我也不知道为什么，我只是说了 |║| ║| :::::::: I 句:下面请领导发盐，大家欢迎。"结果所有 |║I ║| 侵 :::: | 人就红了眼的冲了上来。 by nightwizard |║| ║| :::: I |║I ╚|_ :::: | |║| I╚|╗ :::: I |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | |║| I |║ |┤│ │ |┤|_ |＜ I |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ | ╔ |╝| I |║ |┤|- |-< |- I ║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ | ║-53-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ___ __ __ ___ I ﹢泼水节︶ I ║| _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ | ╰| ║| _/ ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒ \_ I - 缘起 ║|I ║| 水 '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' | 【同一个段子，天涯猫扑网易新浪的区别】 ║|| ║| ︺︺︺︺︺︺ I 泼水节，一哥们大喊：“谁他妈泼我？”旁 _|I ║| 車 :: | 人劝：“泼你是送你吉祥的意思。” | | ║| :::: I 哥们怒骂：“少来这套，谁他妈用开水泼我 |║I ║| 入 :::::: | ！” |║| ║| :::::::: I 但是，通过网友回复却能深刻体现出各家微 |║I ║| 侵 :::: | 博论坛的区别，看好了，不要落下一个字： |║| ║| :::: I |║I ╚|_ :::: | 【天涯论坛跟帖】 |║| I╚|╗ :::: I 1楼：根据泼水节的场地需求，一壶开水从 |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 场外烧开披荆斩棘来到场内，估计早就被泼 |║| I |║ |┤│ │ |┤|_ |＜ I 凉了。 |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 2楼：1楼好久不见 ╔ |╝| I |║ |┤|- |-< |- I 3楼：是啊，最近都去杂谈了 ║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ | 4楼：胡公子也多日不来了，改天去踢球？║-54-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ___ __ __ ___ I (接上页) ︶ I ║| _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ | 5楼：好啊，你订场子 ╰| ║| _/ ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒ \_ I ║|I ║| 水 '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' | 【猫扑论坛跟帖】 ║|| ║| ︺︺︺︺︺︺ I 1楼：沙发 _|I ║| 車 :: | 2楼：板凳，求真相 | | ║| :::: I 3楼：烫熟了没？ |║I ║| 入 :::::: | 4楼：求人肉 |║| ║| :::::::: I 5楼：对，人肉这小子 |║I ║| 侵 :::: | 6楼：这个是我隔壁二大爷那傻小子干的 |║| ║| :::: I 7楼：身份证号133011xxxxxxxxxxxx |║I ╚|_ :::: | |║| I╚|╗ :::: I 【网易微博评论】 |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 1楼： |║| I |║ |┤│ │ |┤|_ |＜ I 从来泼水送吉祥未见泼水送沸汤 |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 若非曾有旧日仇定是jq被中伤 ╔ |╝| I |║ |┤|- |-< |- I 2楼：淫才啊 ║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ | 3楼：淫得一手好湿 ║-55-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ___ __ __ ___ I (接上页) ︶ I ║| _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ | 4楼： ╰| ║| _/ ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒ \_ I 清清水来蓝蓝天泼水节上闹翻天 ║|I ║| 水 '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' | 忽见一人满地滚被烫猪头叫连连 ║|| ║| ︺︺︺︺︺︺ I 5楼： _|I ║| 車 :: | 你泼冷水透心凉我泼开水暖胸膛 | | ║| :::: I 人情冷暖感自知何必计较水太烫 |║I ║| 入 :::::: | 。。。。。。 |║| ║| :::::::: I 16楼：泼水不忘端水人 |║I ║| 侵 :::: | 17楼：端水不忘送水人 |║| ║| :::: I |║I ╚|_ :::: | 【新浪微博评论】 |║| I╚|╗ :::: I 1楼：转发微博 |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 2楼：转发微博 |║| I |║ |┤│ │ |┤|_ |＜ I 3楼：转发微博 |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 4楼：转发微博 ╔ |╝| I |║ |┤|- |-< |- I 5楼：转发微博 ║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ | 6楼：转发微博 ║-56-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ___ __ __ ___ I - 水车战局精彩记录︶ I ║| _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ | 特快：1、我擦！这也行 ╰| ║| _/ ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒ \_ I 2、干死他全家，泼回去 ║|I ║| 水 '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' | 3、9494，以牙还牙，这种事还认怂的基本 ║|| ║| ︺︺︺︺︺︺ I 是loser _|I ║| 車 :: | 5、loser们，我认为这种事必须是北大的干 | | ║| :::: I 的，大家还记得当年北大泼硫酸的哥们么 |║I ║| 入 :::::: | 6.。。。。 |║| ║| :::::::: I joke：1、tooooooooooold |║I ║| 侵 :::: | 2、我猜是星河干的 |║| ║| :::: I 3、是不是为了分小姨吵起来了？ |║I ╚|_ :::: | 4、我想叫tooooold，会不会关小黑屋 |║| I╚|╗ :::: I 5、能分小姨？我靠，那泼盆开水也忍了， |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 求分小姨！ by xana |║| I |║ |┤│ │ |┤|_ |＜ I |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 饭米粒版: ╔ |╝| I |║ |┤|- |-< |- I 婆媳贴：婆婆是个农村妇女，把他大儿子 ║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ | 也就是我老公当提款机，钱全拿去补贴小 ║-57-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ___ __ __ ___ I (接上页) ︶ I ║| _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ | 叔子，小叔子…此处省略五千字…婆婆只知 ╰| ║| _/ ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒ \_ I 道…五千字…前几天婆婆非要来我们家，这 ║|I ║| 水 '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' | 两天没有一秒钟我是过舒坦了的，刚才实在 ║|| ║| ︺︺︺︺︺︺ I 忍不住爆发了，一盆热水就给她泼去了 _|I ║| 車 :: | 夫妻版：老公是个凤凰男，我家就是他们家 | | ║| :::: I 驻京办，5月他二叔来…五千字…六月他们 |║I ║| 入 :::::: | 村老王一家来…五千字…上个月他二表姐一 |║| ║| :::::::: I 家来…五千字…昨天他又跟我说他们家四表 |║I ║| 侵 :::: | 姑一家要来北京，实在忍不住爆发了，一盆 |║| ║| :::: I 热水就给他泼去了(省略孩子版) |║I ╚|_ :::: | 回帖： |║| I╚|╗ :::: I 1L 离！ |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 2L 沙发！ |║| I |║ |┤│ │ |┤|_ |＜ I 3L 求摘要！ |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 4L 看着楼主，我就好像看到了我自己。我╔ |╝| I |║ |┤|- |-< |- I 们家也是，我婆婆/凤凰男老公…五千字…║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ | 5L sf！ ║-58-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ___ __ __ ___ I (接上页) ︶ I ║| _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ | 6L 今天徐老师贴pp了吗？ ╰| ║| _/ ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒ \_ I 7L 今天没有，昨天徐老师贴了，用的是XX ║|I ║| 水 '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' | 的化妆品呢 ║|| ║| ︺︺︺︺︺︺ I 8L 真的吗？她还真舍得！ _|I ║| 車 :: | 9L 我就好奇了，徐老师的皮肤这么好，到 | | ║| :::: I 底是天生的还是化妆品用得好？… |║I ║| 入 :::::: | 107L 也是，徐老师皮肤还是因为化妆品吧 |║| ║| :::::::: I 108L 离！ |║I ║| 侵 :::: | 109L 十大观光团路过… by molcov |║| ║| :::: I |║I ╚|_ :::: | 请问客服MM我被泼十次开水，你可以做我女 |║| I╚|╗ :::: I 朋友吗？ |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 京东回复：您好！O(∩_∩)O您先泼下来， |║| I |║ |┤│ │ |┤|_ |＜ I 我好考虑。感谢您对京东的支持！祝您购物 |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 愉快！ ╔ |╝| I |║ |┤|- |-< |- I 请问支持上门泼开水服务吗？我在X市X乡 ║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ | X村 ║-59-| | ―【Ｃlan２.水车】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ___ __ __ ___ I 京东回复：您好！此款泼水暂不支持上门服︶ I ║| _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_ | 务。感谢您对京东的支持！祝您购物愉快！ ╰| ║| _/ ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒ \_ I by miracle123 ║|I ║| 水 '~\ _(oo)/ \(oo)_ /`' | 普通青年用凉水泼别人， ║|| ║| ︺︺︺︺︺︺ I 文艺青年用凉水泼自己， _|I ║| 車 :: | ２Ｂ青年用开水泼自己。 by tet | | ║| :::: I |║I ║| 入 :::::: | 王家卫版：被泼第一身水之后3分25秒，我又 |║| ║| :::::::: I 被泼了一桶水，不过这次，水是开的 |║I ║| 侵 :::: | by yutourr |║| ║| :::: I |║I ╚|_ :::: | 三国杀版：谁来与我大泼三百回合？ |║| I╚|╗ :::: I 夫君，身体要紧～ |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 鼠辈，竟敢泼我！能泼能逃乃真正法器！ |║| I |║ |┤│ │ |┤|_ |＜ I 不朽之躯，他却泼我！别担心，有老夫呢。 |║I | |║ ▃ ▃ ▃ | 父亲，大哥，我被泼了！下次注意一点～ ╔ |╝| I |║ |┤|- |-< |- I 屈我淫威，hiahia 哎呀，讨厌～ ║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ | by zl549 ║-60-| | ―【Ｃlan３.星河】―――― | ――――――――――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╲ | ╱ . · .< 闹革命 > 以星河为首的一小撮反动分子︶ I ║| _ . . · ，利用广大不明真相的无知水 ╰| ║- ┈─ · ) ──┈┈┈ - . · 车，试图颠覆猪头伟光正政权 ║|I ║ . _ ︳ . | ，以实现自身分小姨等不可告 ║|| . /╰,\ _ __ I 人目的之技能。一般在4月1日 _|I · _ \╯ / // \╱/╲╲ | 、2月30日、13月1日等现有娇 | | ╱￣╲_ | │\ │ - - ﹨\ I 客体制不承认的日期发动，效 |║I / ╱`\ ▕ /│| "-'. "-' |│ | 果短暂，一般只维持一两天。 |║| / ˊ ╲_ ╱ / |︳∕_\ |′ I |║I │/︵ |/|╲| `|_╱ │ | < 分小姨 > 星河试图迷惑水车，分化、软 |║| ︶ |/ ﹨ \ ‵ ╲︳ I 化我猪头政权的一种技能，本 |║I ╚|_ˋ\| \ ╲ / /ヽ娇客再次声明只有一批小姨， |║| I╚|╗ ╲ \\ \ ︳ \ 任何试图制造“两批小姨”、 |║I | |║ ˋ _∕ │ \ │ \ “一姨一婶”的技能都是不得 |║| I |║ | │ │ │ 水车心、是注定失败的。 |║I | |║ ▃」▃ ▃ ▃ ╔ |╝| I |║┌|_ ┃ |\||┐|┤|- I < 进洞房 > 星河明分小姨、暗度陈仓的技║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ ▔ | 能，详见下页 ║-61-| | ―【Ｃlan３.星河】―――― | ――――――――――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════ I ══════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ | ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ╲ | ╱ . · .﹢进洞房︶ I ║| _ . . · ╰| ║- ┈─ · ) ──┈┈┈ - . · - 新郎 ║|I ║ . _ ︳ . | 发信人: xinghe (星河), 信区: Joke ║|| . /╰,\ _ __ I 标题: Re: xinghe的婚礼？ _|I · _ \╯ / // \╱/╲╲ | | | ╱￣╲_ | │\ │ - - ﹨\ I 做好本职工作:) |║I / ╱`\ ▕ /│| "-'. "-' |│ | 【在 vivas的大作中提到: 】 |║| / ˊ ╲_ ╱ / |︳∕_\ |′ I : 标题: Re: xinghe的婚礼？ |║I │/︵ |/|╲| `|_╱ │ | : 发信站: 水木社区, 站内 |║| ︶ |/ ﹨ \ ‵ ╲︳ I : |║I ╚|_ˋ\| \ ╲ / /ヽ : 大喜的日子还抽空来灌水呢 |║| I╚|╗ ╲ \\ \ ︳ \ |║I | |║ ˋ _∕ │ \ │ \ - 初夜 |║| I |║ | │ │ │ 谈到自己的初夜，年逾四十的xinghe吸了一 |║I | |║ ▃」▃ ▃ ▃ 口烟，沉思良久，开口了：昨天晚上…… ╔ |╝| I |║┌|_ ┃ |\||┐|┤|- I by yutourr ║_| I | |║ ▔ ▔ ▔ | ║-62-| | ―【Ｃlan３.星河】―――― | ――――――――――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════════════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ __ ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ___ _ ___ _ __╲>_ ︶ I ║| ∠_ \ \╲__╱ _\ \╲ ╲ _ _\ ╰| ║| /\ ∠_ │ ╲|\╱ |\_ │| 〈|_/>___ ║|I ║| ╲|<_ / ╱ _ \ │|___ ╱|∠ _ \ ║|| ║| /\_|\╱\ /︳ /</│\ ︳ __╱ ___/ ﹨/ │|__|╱ _|I ║| 祝 \︹＜_ \▏ \_╱ │︳ \╱│︳_ |\∠ _ \ | | ║| __<_ ___\ ▕\╱ _╱/ ___// \╲ \/ │|\╱ |║I ║| \___╱ \/ \╱ \_╱ \_︳ │| |║| ║| __ │| |║I ║| |\ _╱ \ |\_ __ ∠╲ \| |\_ |║| ║| __||_\_/|╱_ /\|∠\▕\>|∠ /\|∠ |\∠\ |║I ╚|_ ____ \_ / ∠</_ \ \∕ /＞/∠ _ \ \∕ /_|\|| |│ |║| I╚|╗ ___╱ ___╲ || |\<_\_|│ _╱ |/∠\╲|\|/ _╱ |\_ >/>|│ |║I | |║ ╲╱￣ ╱ ∕ >||/ ∠|│ \_/||\_﹨-< ╱_ \_/|| |/| ∠│ |║| I |║ \ | ||< /|│ ∕|_│|__|︺ \ ∕||\∠\| |│ |║I | |║ || \| \|_|│ \ |╲∕\_╱￣ \ |\/ <//_|│ ╔ |╝| I |║ |/ ╲/ |/ |/ ╲/ ║_| I | |║ ║-63-| | ―【在线玩家】 ―――――― | ――――――――――――――――――――――| I _|╔══════════════════════════════╰( ╭) I | _|╔╝ ╰(╯| ╔|═╝ ︶ I ║| 背景台词：二十年后，又是一条好汉。 ╰| ║| ║|I ║| ╲ | ╱ . · . ║|| ║| _ . . · _|I ║| - ┈─ · ) ──┈┈┈ - . · | | ║| . _ ︳ . |║I ║| . /╰,\ _ __ || 草头天子 || ap9 biancr |║| ║| · _ \╯ / // \╱/╲╲ mmzt Yvt |║I ║| ╱￣╲_ | │\ │ - - ﹨\ isava Jobs |║| ║| / ╱`\ ▕ /│| "-'. "-' |│ yoo yyzt |║I ╚|_ / ˊ ╲_ ╱ / |︳∕_\ |′ |║| I╚|╗│/︵ |/|╲| `|_╱ │ || 年刊大将 || yyzt |║I | |║ ︶ |/ ﹨ \ ‵ ╲︳ |║| I |║ ˋ\| \ ╲ / /ヽ || 油漆匠 || percyshelley |║I | |║ ╲ \\ \ ︳ \ ╔ |╝| I |║ ˋ _∕ │ \ │ \ ║_| I | |║ | │ │ │ ║-64-|

Sender: ap9 porn 9 piggy pianpian, message area: Joke Title: Jiao Ke Sha’s 2011 issue Sending site: Shuimu Community Mon May 21 23:39:43 2012 , within the site . <> . . <> :: . . . : point \ :. . aunt : . : : Kill the pig head : : . : :. . . . ﹨ > . . . < < :. > . ﹨ Substitute > > . Xingdao > < >OO : > : . . > . < :: :: ::: :: . . . :: ::::::: ::: :: : : ::: :: :: e Annual lan. pig head & writer I I I I <Ban> Activate divine speed to cause the opponent to be disabled. Level I It ranges from being unable to speak to being unable to take care of oneself. I I <Counting> The number of cards in the hand is within the calculation capacity of the pig head I is usually 1 3 pieces I I <Aunt> Use I on the person who is attacked by the banned skill Generally, you can pacify the pair without playing any cards. Effect of Party I I < Attachment > Detailed explanation of Zhutou’s mission in 2011 I I I See next page I I I I ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ I ' oo oo ' I I 01 lan. Zhutou & Writer Detailed explanation of Zhutou’s 2011 tasks I I I I ﹢The children of Jiao Ke are so lonely. It’s hard to express my love for you I I Origin I I original version Facebook launches crush feature I I heard Facebook is going to launch a crush feature if you < <<< I have a crush on someone Tag #secretlove# If you have a crush on someone I If I happen to have a crush on you, the system will send a message to tell you two. I Social networks can be so delicate and user-friendly I In awe I I Jiaoke copycat version. It is recommended that this version have a secret love function. I I does not require any skills, just do it manually. If you have a crush on I If the ID is not limited to this forum, it will be given to a designated moderator of JOKE. I I Send a letter If the two parties are matched, notify both parties I *⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒* by xinhe I ' oo oo ' I I 02 lan. Zhutou & Writer Detailed explanation of Zhutou’s 2011 tasks I I ﹢The children of Jiao Ke are so lonely, it’s hard to express my love for you I .I Hello everyone, hello fellow porridge customers. I I am x****e . > 'I'm ready to have a crush on b****r I < ノ , . Blessed by the God of Water and Wood I ﹨Blessed by the God of the Galaxy . , I I 丿  I ﹒ ﹒ I I I I 03 lan. Zhutou & Writer Detailed explanation of Zhutou’s 2011 tasks I I I I ﹢The charming guest in the galaxy meets the master of the Ming Dynasty, the liver and brain are wiped out and the earth is destroyed, express I I Origin I vs. I Original version Google acquires Motorola I Google CEO Larry Page sits in his office chair and eats chocolate I Kelidou said during the video conference with his subordinates Company I Lacking a mobile phone, buy a Motorola I 15 minutes later, someone on the other end of the video message said Motorola I I bought it ' Jiao Ke I Larry asked what model I * * Subordinate ah model model I 0 vs. I zz by finalMVP I , I Express I Jiaoke copycat version Jiaoke acquires Express I <Currently, the express is in turmoil, and all editions are coveting the data. I > I say that a force called the Home Version Aunt Army has launched I 04 lan. Zhutou & Writer Detailed explanation of Zhutou’s tasks in 2011 I I I I Continued from previous page I If I don’t take express action as soon as possible, I might not be able to get a share of the pie. I So Hete requested to go and take over, and the wishing servant responded I Now is the time for us to put aside our past grudges vs. I by xinghe I I We throw a cup as a sign, the inside should be in harmony with the outside I The day the express is settled is the day when the old grudges are cleared. I At that time, no matter whether I am a general or a general, or I am leaving Manan Mountain, only the emperor’s order is I from by cu0 ' Jiao Ke I I * * The police sergeant sat on his office chair and ate chocolate beans. I 0 vs. I Bian was in a meeting with his subordinate zt and said that the page lacked articles I , go to express and see how to merge some. Someone will come in 15 minutes. I Express I Send a message on the other end of the video. Express has merged I < Rubbing asked, which article numbers are subordinates? I > I article number article number by KPI I 05 lan. Zhutou & Writer Detailed explanation of Zhutou’s 2011 tasks I I I I﹢But make thousands of waterwheels come on Come on Don't I be shy I I One day, my aunt threw a hydrangea to recruit a prince-in-law, and the page immediately went blank. I bloody storm I I ? ? I This water tanker, please give me your name m**t I Where am I from? joke I Which b****r in my family do you like? What do I like about her? I like all three things about her. Dear pig, you have to tell her I I From now on I swear to marry me I Let the great god xinghe witness our love I love it I will always say y to him! I I I 06 lan. pig head & writer I I I I < Wai Sui > Being able to bend and absorb is a real magic weapon. You dare to respond I Fight or not. Anyone who plays this card will be kissed by a pig's head. I touch once intimately I I < Being Touched > This skill is better with more x and e. Which pig I Come and play with me for three hundred rounds I I I>I , I I I I , I > I I I I I I 07 lan.Zhutou & writer Jagbin I I I I <Red Diamond> Fight for the little red diamond After the round starts I It can be determined that if it were not for Little Red Diamond, it would continue to grow. I Dongoriginal Repeat this until a small I appears Up to a small red diamond I I Red ﹨ <国色> Using this skill, police officer Xiaoluo will < 'I I I ﹨ ﹨ I I I ﹨ , I I I I I ﹨ 08 lan.Zhutou & writer Jagbin I I I I ﹢也说一个在春运火车上的事情 I I 几年前的春运某次回家我坐两人座位的窗 I 小边一个女生坐我旁边我喜欢看窗外就 I 一直看结果发车后一两个小时都没说话 I 紅 ﹨ 这时我突然斜眼一看此MM正在看短信 < ' I 有点小不爽还是没说话 I 过了一个小时我突然对此M说你 I ﹨ ﹨ I 她转过头噼里啪啦说哦我是XX大学 I 的学XX的你呢你学什么的啊 I ﹨ , I 我说你能不能让一下我去厕所 I 我是真的想去厕所的说 I I 然后一行20多小时此M一直没有说话 I ﹨ 09 lan .猪头 & 写手 Jagbin I I I I ﹢火车上遇到的收放自如彪悍大叔 I I 某次夏天回北京的火车上上厕所的人排队 I 小很长我后面是一个30来岁的壮汉大叔前 I 面一个人出来的时候我就进去了刚准备 I 紅 ﹨ 关门没想到此大叔也夺门而入小小的厕 < ' I 厕所也有个先来后到啊 I 他一边解裤带一边说怕啥都是男人啊 I ﹨ ﹨ I 然后他居然就开始嘘嘘了 I 我就惊愕地看着他突然他看了我一眼说 I ﹨ , I 算了你人年轻脸皮薄一会该说我 I 耍流氓了你先来吧说完刹那间 I I 他的小便戛然而止又穿上裤带出去了 I ﹨ 10 lan .猪头 & 写手 Jagbin I I I I 接上页 I 我在里面惊恐万分地上完厕所后出门他 I 看着我笑了一下说这回该我了然 I 小后就进去把刚才没有完成的全部嘘嘘了 I 无比佩服此大叔如此的收放自如啊其实当 I 紅 ﹨ 时他就在里面嘘嘘完就行了我也没说啥啊 < ' I I I ﹨ ﹨ I I I ﹨ , I I I I I ﹨ 11 lan .猪头 & 写手 Jagbin I I I I ﹢高中老师在聚会上的彪悍语录 I I 某次高中同学聚会以下是其中老师的彪悍 I 小语录 I 语文老师是个热心大妈得知班上曾经自 I 紅 ﹨ 己最喜欢的语文科代表女生已经结婚了 < ' I 都有种想用它擤鼻涕擤完鼻涕晾干了再发 I 给你的冲动我想问老师你擤过没啊 I ﹨ ﹨ I 物理老师对一成绩较差的男生说别以为我 I 不知道你考试通过右手左手法则和谁谁传信 I ﹨ , I 号递答案我其实每次都想一个判断受力 I 方向电流方向都要用怎么久的人作弊也 I I 不会怎样全场稍微冷了下然后爆笑 I ﹨ 12 lan .猪头 & 写手 yutourr I I I < 职业水车技发动剁交后所有 I 娇客势力女性角色依次选择是否 I 接受鱼头翻牌直到有一名角色 I 魚或没有角色决定如此作时为止 I I 頭 [ < 冷藏 > 发动此技能后其他角色体温跌 > I 至绝对零度以下直接禁手并送 I 哥 o 小黑屋由小姨急救 ' > I I I I I I > , ヽ I I I 了傍晚七个小人回来了白雪公主说 I 哥 o 你们就是我命中的七个小矮人吧七个人 ' > I 面面相觑然后说你走错地方了我们 I 是葫芦娃 ﹢黑丝 I I I 某男控黑丝偶获穿越机会告之曰愿 I > , ヽ I 有黑丝日日相伴白光闪现穿越完成 I < 睁眼一看眼前一条黑汉子喜道醒了 I ﹨ I 旁边一众男子哈哈大笑你这黑厮 I < 对公明哥哥真是忠心不二 14 lan .猪头 & 写手 yutourr I I I < I 神情比较严肃于是说道我先讲个笑话 I 哥 o 缓解一下大家的情绪 ' > I I ﹢老子讲道 道可道非常道你心中所追求之物牵 I I 挂之物执着之物就是你的道有人痴情 I 一生修得便是痴情道有人至孝修得便 I > , ヽ I 是孝道有人嗜杀戮修得就是杀戮道 I < 老子转而问一个少年少年你追求的 I ﹨ I 是什么考上一本一本道 I < 老子慈祥的说 15 lan .猪头 & 写手 yutourr I I I < I 张飞接过酒杯看了一会高兴的大喊 I 哥 o 溶了大哥二哥你们的血溶了 ' > I I ﹢西毒北丐 欧阳锋父子将洪七公郭靖黄蓉围在山洞里出 I I 不来欧阳父子也进不去黄蓉说七公 I 你写个要老叫化屈服没门贴在洞口 I > , ヽ I 激励斗志七公然之次日欧阳克看到 I < 大怒叔叔原来你跑到这儿是来搞基 I ﹨ I 的欧阳锋说没啊欧阳克说还没有 I < 你看老叫化写的想要老叫化屁股没门 16 lan .猪头 & 写手 SundayMore I I I I < 真国色 > 出牌阶段你可以将任何其他 I 角色的恨嫁逼婚言论当乐 ' 锁定技你的所有与老爸有关 I ﹨ 牌均视为带有萌蜀黍属性 I I < 毒舌男 > 此技能可使其他角色均失去一 ' ' I 点体力同时失去自身全部人 I ﹨ 品和体力 I I < >, I ' I I > I I 17 lan .猪头 & 写手 SundayMore I I I I ﹢The punctuating father of the older leftover girl cannot afford to be hurt I '< I I ﹨ Background dividing line I I Last week I went home for the weekend and went to my grandma's house alone in the afternoon. ' ' I Dad sent a text message asking where you are I ﹨ I’m at my grandma’s house I Dad, when will it be changed to stay at my mother-in-law’s house? I < >, I ' I punctuation dad can't afford to be hurt π π I > I I 18 lan .Zhutou & writer SundayMore I I I I﹢Ask age I '< I A vicious-tongued male colleague asked mm which year you were born I ﹨ Everyone said, "How can there be anyone like you? It's too straightforward." I Don’t ask about a girl’s age casually I The poisonous tongue man paused and said okay, uh, then mm ' ' Did reform and opening up begin the year I was born? I ﹨ I I < >, I ' I Everyone was speechless, especially those who were in the 1970s. I >< and made a vicious sound: Damn it I ' ' I I '} < ノ I < > I I 19 lan .Zhutou & writer SundayMore I I I I ﹢Shenzhen is a good place I '< I It turned out that one of her fans left her a message like this I ﹨Wow, you went to Window of the World again. You people in Shenzhen are so nice. I am so happy that I can go to Window of the World from time to time I ' ' I Everyone is speechless I ﹨ I I < >, I ' I I > I I 20 lan.pigtou & writer lyklykkkkkkk I I I I <Original> Every time you use this skill, it will be regarded as a laugh point I > I I '> <Otaku> Deal damage to each Technical Otaku character ﹨ V I I I ' . ' ⌒ Two I I google I'm google If you wanna know me I '> , just google ﹨ V I Baidu I'm baidu If you wanna know me, I just baidu Sosou, I'm scolding these bastards in my heart. Let's talk. I'll start. I ' . ' ⌒ gone Two I I was walking with my girlfriend at Bainaohui store and she answered the phone I '> The store is too noisy and I can't always hear what the other person is saying. ﹨ V I I told her to wear headphones I She didn't hear clearly I'll raise the volume and repeat it. Wear headphones I ' . ' ⌒ Then a group of people rushed out from the nearby Dell computer counter. 2 Beat me up I I When I didn’t know what an otaku was, I had an I '> My otaku boyfriend is called R. He lives on the fifth floor. He steals in various ways. ﹨ V I Peep and take a fancy to the newly moved MM I in the building opposite Under my instigation, he prepared a loudspeaker to confess his love. Now that girl is in front of the window, what a great opportunity, but just like you I ' . ' ⌒ He's like a nerdy otaku. R also shrinks when something happens. 2 I kept encouraging him and he finally shouted loudly to I My classmate, would you like to be friends with me? < I We looked at each other excitedly. MM said something, but she didn’t I ', the speaker is not that loud, so I can't hear it. I < I But otakus have their own ways. R had an idea and shouted I ' ﹨ If you want, wave your hand. If you don't, just wave. I wave twice I We looked at the opposite side even more excitedly and MM waved her hand. I I Wait 24 lan.pigtou & writer lyklykkkkkkk I I I I Continued from previous page I She waved again > I I am silent I '> But I saw R jumping and talking happily ﹨ V I wow she said yes yes I I retreat quietly Let the homebody be happy for a while I ' . ' ⌒ Two I A vertebrate of the fish class Totoidae. Can I Eat delicious meat. This skill can be used to kill I Players with liberal arts majors use the method as follows: I I 3, 3 4, 4 μ time I α I γ I 1, 1 2, 2μ I 4 3 1 I 2π [ν 3 i 4παγ ν 1 ] I I <Fresh Orange> A drink that has not been found to contain three I I Polycyanamide shoehorn gutter oil and other ingredients I Duo#duobeautiful taste###rich in juice I < > I ## Use this skill to transform into any character I . I < 3Remustx > Use this skill three times and return it the second time I Is pure and flawless. Delete 3,000 words 26 lan.Waterwheel personal chapter, all the bad guys come together I I I I <All bases come together> Tips and tricks: If a person is base, he will be invincible. This I Cards are known for their unparalleled stupidity. I things command the world I Ten thousand ヘ I I Cheap ヘヘ ﹨ I I Qi ﹨ I I send \ I I ﹨ I . I I . . I 灬0 I I 0灬0 I . . I I 27 lan.Waterwheel, all the money is coming together connect I I I I﹢Programmer enters I I It is said that a Russian agent narrowly escaped death and stole a NASA space rocket I The last page of the source code of Wanjian launcher program is: ヘ I I Cheap ヘヘ ﹨ I I Qi ﹨ I I send \ I I ﹨ I . I I . . I 灬0 I I 0灬0 I . . I I 28 lan. Waterwheel, all the cheap people are coming together forz I I I I﹢True things I saw on the subway I I In the subway, male A and female B had a quarrel because of a slight collision I Wan stopped at the first stop. Female B got off the car. She hesitated for a while when she got off. ヘ I next, rushed up and waved, gave A a slap in the face, then turned around I Bitch ヘ ran away, but a group of people came up and pushed B back. ヘ ﹨ I didn’t get out of the car. Then A rushed up and kicked B. I Qi ﹨ B fought back and then started fighting and yelling at each other. I then passed station N without stopping. Then suddenly an I Fa ﹨ The strong man stood up and yelled, "Stop fucking cao, old man" I’ve watched you guys fight and stood up. I ﹨ I . I I . . I 灬0 I I 0灬0 I . . I I 29 lan. Waterwheel, all the cheap people are sent together jackieand I I I I﹢There is a pig behind you I I remember when I was in college, I had a self-study class one night and wanted to be my roommate I Wan made a fool of himself and I stuck a piece of paper behind him. There is a pig drawn on ヘ I. Behind him is a very fat girl I Cheap ヘ The fat girl laughed fiercely after seeing it, and the laughter got louder and louder. ヘ ﹨ I asked her why she was laughing. The fat girl smiled and pointed at the class I Qi ﹨ Chang said there is a pig behind you I I send \ I I ﹨ I . I I . . I 灬0 I I 0灬0 I . . I I 30 lan. Waterwheel, all the cheap people are coming together longskychina I I I I ﹢A classmate in high school I I remember when I was in high school, I had evening self-study and a buddy was in the last row I Wan went to sleep and woke up suddenly, then turned off the light and went to sleep. ヘ I The whole class was dumbfounded at that time I Cheap ヘヘ ﹨ I I Qi ﹨ I I send \ I I ﹨ I . I I . . I 灬0 I I 0灬0 I . . I I 31 lan.Waterwheel all the money opiuk I I I I﹢The wrong phone bill was charged I I I charged the wrong phone number because I charged 100 yuan. I Wan felt distressed so I called that buddy and asked if he could give it. ヘ I I recharged, but the guy was very depressed and said, brother I Damn ヘ It’s the end of the year and I have to pay all the bills. I finally shut down my computer. ヘ ﹨ I you fucking charged me up again Qi ﹨ I I send \ I I ﹨ I .I I . . I 灬0 I I 0灬0 I . . I I 32 lan. Waterwheel, all the cheap people are coming together, veheibo I I I I﹢burning incense stick I I live on campus, the weather is sultry at night and there is no electricity, so I turn on the cooler I We spread out the mats in the corridor to sleep. As soon as we lay down, we were surrounded by a formation of mosquitoes. ヘ I rummaged through the cabinets and found a coil of mosquito repellent incense. I put it on the bottom of my feet. I Shit ヘ just fell asleep peacefully ヘ ﹨ I Less than an hour later, I was awakened by a man's scream I Qi ﹨ I was so angry that I saw only one figure trembling and said: You I Your uncle, just spread out a straw mat and lie down in the corridor, it will be scary enough I I made ﹨ and burned incense sticks I I ﹨ I . I I . . I 灬0 I I 0灬0 I . . I I 33 lan.Waterwheel Personal Chapter Love Lock Link I I I I <Love Chain> Select one or more target characters of the opposite sex I lower their judgment I If the target character also uses this brocade on you I Love bag means that the two of them will automatically be happy and unthinkable. I Shu relative to other players Two people I Physical strength and IQ are automatically reset to zero. ﹨ I I even I I Ring ﹨ ハ I I ハ I I I I I I I I I 34 lan.waterwheel love lock chain cuco I I I I﹢The neighbor is a 90-year-old man I I My neighbor is a 90-year-old man who rides his bicycle to the sea every day I I happened to meet him when I went out to the nursing home next to my love and asked him I You ride your bike there every day. What's fun? I So? He replied while pushing the bicycle. There are many. ﹨ I A young and single woman in her seventies or eighties I even I like it I Ring ﹨ ハ I I ハ I I I I I I I I I 35 lan.waterwheel love lock chain gs02 I I I I﹢I and mm I I I deal with mm essays. I usually don’t talk much. I Qing. One day when I talked about probability, mm started talking in a long way. I was too lazy to deal with it. I She said you don’t understand mathematics at all, so mm was speechless I Suo's expression is very depressed ﹨ I I rode my bike with my sister back from the Sixth Religion this afternoon and got off on the way I Lian Po overtook countless cars and mm started her theory of inertia again. I is proportional to mass We are two people so we run fast I Ring ﹨ I'm too lazy to explain to her that friction is proportional to gravity. ハ I Just say you don’t understand physics at all I ハ mm is speechless again and continues to be depressed I I After a long time, mm said I You don't understand women at all I I don’t understand women at all I Don't understand women I I woman I 36 lan.Waterwheel love lock chain shengbanxia I I I I﹢Can't laugh or cry I I My husband still has the last cash job from his previous employer I Information Tips Because he is busy and I am free, I want to take my place for him I went to get it but my husband firmly refused. I thought he didn’t want the salary I He was simply confiscated. As a result, he said quietly for a long time. ﹨ I you can't go because I've already blown you off in front of them I Even like a fairy I I Ring ﹨ ハ I I ハ I I I I I I I I I 37 lan .Waterwheel Personal Chapter Crossing the River and Burning the Bridge I I I Gui I <Crossing the river and burning the bridge> I would rather let the world down and stop teaching the world I If others fail me, this skill will harm others. I Self-interested harm, harming words will bring harm to you I Players who pass the same character Waterwheel are lost I lose a little strength I river I I dismantle > ' I I 38 lan. Waterwheel, burn the bridge across the river jixiesheji I I I Kei I﹢Eating on National Day I I I had a meal with a buddy at a restaurant on National Day. All the dishes were served and the buddy shouted I Waiter, believe it or not, I can open the beer with my thumb. I The waiter said in surprise: I don’t believe it. My friend said calmly I He, why don't you bring the bottle opener? I I dismantle > ' I I 39 lan.Waterwheel burning the bridge across the river landx I I I Kyu I ﹢Which stock is this I I Half a year ago, in order to motivate myself to lose weight, I insisted on recording I every day. Record your own weight and fill in the Excel form to generate a I trend chart I He Today, my colleague passed by my seat and I saw him walking past. I fell back thoughtfully and whispered into my ear asking I Split < That, can you tell me which stock you have? I ah, the trend is pretty good I bridge > > ' I I 40 lan. Waterwheel, burn the bridge across the river, shaofanyun I I I Gui I﹢It was embarrassing to eat Wushan grilled whole fish just now I I The faucets in the company's restrooms are all sensor-operated. I'm used to it. I After passing the team building just now, we went to Wushan Grilled Whole Fish in Shangdi. I went to the bathroom to wash my hands during lunch and kept my hands under the faucet I The river has been out of water for a long time. Here is an uncle coming to help me. I turned on the faucet. I expressed my gratitude. The uncle said that the water needs to be turned out. I Removed < Next and added a sentence: Big cities are just different, right? I I What's the matter with the IT migrant workers' clothes that are a little ragged? > > ' I I 41 lan .Waterwheel burning the bridge across the river Silmarillion I I I Kei I﹢Remembering someone I met I I once saw an old lady on the subway. As soon as she got on the train, I I had no choice but to sit down after being repeatedly refused by an old lady who offered my seat to an enthusiastic passenger. I After the next stop, the old lady couldn’t sit still anymore and stood up I He took out a dozen Beijing maps from his bag... I I dismantle > ' I I 42 lan.Waterwheel Burning the bridge across the river VikingGundam I I I Kei I﹢Charging I I am charging my mobile phone in the train washroom. People are leaning against the wall in a daze I Pass, put the phone connected to the cord in your pocket, and go to the toilet alone I The boy turned back to his mother and said, look, the robot is charging I Where is the river? I I dismantle > ' I I 43 lan.Waterwheel personal chapter, happy to miss Shu I I I I < 乐不思蜀 > Advanced waterwheel locking technology can be used after use I Reduce the opponent's J point, physical strength and memory ' >﹨ I memory I Fun > I I Shu I I I I I I I I I I I 44 lan.Waterwheel Lebusi Shu jikhotel I I I I﹢Low-key I ' >﹨ I Grandpa pushed Jiajia for a walk in the community and passed a mother and daughter I 乐 > I heard two people saying behind their backs, Huo, this child is so beautiful. I I Shu I I I I I I I I I I I 45 lan .Waterwheel 乐不思蜀 phage I I I I﹢The cultural atmosphere of mainland universities is stronger than that of Hong Kong I ' >﹨ I Someone complained to me that universities in Hong Kong have too commercial atmosphere I Le > Nong When you strike up a conversation on campus, nine out of ten people are studying finance. Your three ultimate philosophical questions I who are you I Shu, where are you from? I where are you going I Looks very cultured I I I I I I I I I 46 lan .Waterwheel 乐不思蜀 qzstar1985 I I I I﹢There are ten classes in total in the Mathematics Department I ' >﹨ I There are ten classes in the mathematics department I 乐 > I met someone by chance today and he said to me that you are also a math major. < I's Are you from Class 10 I No < ﹨ I said to him, are you from Class 9? > I said to him, are you from Class 7? I He said to me, are you from Class 6? I Shu, I said to him, are you from Class 5? I He said to me, are you from Class 4? I I said to him, are you from Class 3? I I He said to me, it turns out you are in Class 2 I I said to him, it turns out you are in class one. I I They hold hands and laugh I There was a conversation coming from the side. You also majored in Chinese. I am a second grader. I am from Class I. What about you? I am from Class I. silence 47 lan. Waterwheel, happy to miss Shu, taugulua I I I I ﹢Lai Lai Original I ' >﹨ I Don't hit me if you don't laugh I 乐 > I just saw someone saying that a certain 2b was added after someone else’s ID smthsb cannot be registered sbsmth cannot be registered I thought about it later and thought that even those with smth cannot register. I Shu In order to maintain the authority of the official ID I result tried smthnb passed I I I I I I I I I I 48 lan.Waterwheel, happy to miss Shu, picture version I I ﹢Recently, it is popular to use the word " inside" in replies by xhotkey I http: www.newsmth.net nForum article MMJoke 105809?s 105809 ﹢Back view by VampireJax I Le http: www.newsmth.net nForum article MMJoke 109101?s 109101 ﹢Why so many good plans fail to win the bid? Because you don’t understand by tuboshu I No http: www.newsmth.net nForum #!article MMJoke 114702?p 1#a0 ﹢Illustrations on the roadside of Guangzhou Animal Park by match510520 I Think http: www.newsmth.net nForum #!article MMJoke 99206?p 1#a0 ﹢The use of fat people by wxfromxh I Shu http: www.newsmth.net nForum #!article MMJoke 103299?p 1#a0 ﹢The world of rhino by at2011518 I http: www.newsmth.net nForum article MMJoke 111907?s 111907 I ﹢Why don’t you call me kiss by dabao I http: www.newsmth.net nForum #!article MMJoke 109446?p 1#a0 I ﹢Master Huang vs Master Huo by joejunker I http: www.newsmth.net nForum #!article MMJoke 108030?p 1#a0 I I 49 lan.Waterwheel Collective Chapter Waterwheel Invasion I I I I <Waterwheel Invasion> Can be launched by more than 3 waterwheelers I Causes the pig head to lose 1 point of physical strength, but the pig ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ I Head can activate the ban skill counterattack I water 'oo oo' I I vehicle :: :::: I I enter :::::: :::::::: I I Invasion :::: :::: I I :::: I :::: I I I I I I < I I 50 lan. Waterwheel. Waterwheel invasion. Too much salt will lead to moisture. I I I I﹢More salt will lead to moisture I ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ I Origin 2011 Japanese nuclear leak caused China to rush for salt I water 'oo oo' I Wonderful records of the waterwheel battle I Car :: It is said that Su Dongpo and his wife, who are both descendants of the salt wasteland, did not rob the car. :::: After I arrived in Yan, I wrote with emotion: I care about each other without salt, I Enter :::::: Famous quotes from "Only Tears A Thousand Rows". by captainclaw :::::::: I I Invasion :::: First Link The Japanese are waiting for iodized salt amid nuclear radiation :::: I Second line Chinese people grab iodized salt to wait for nuclear radiation I :::: Horizontal batch without salt I :::: I Part 1: Japan is a nuclear nation I Second line: China is the descendant of salt shortage I I Hengpi means iodine by font I I < I People who have saltiness on their sprained feet must be aware of it. No salt, no salt, no salt by Darrell1203 51 lan.Waterwheel. Waterwheel invasion. Too much salt will lead to moisture. I I I I You are too salty by uranium I Take it easy, everyone by miyami ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ I I Water 'oo oo' ccav has a host called Baiyanshuang by mislixue I I Che :: Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yanyan :::: I Salt test, pseudosalt, salt aversion I Enter :::::: by semifinal :::::::: I I Invasion :::: Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan :::: I Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan Yan I :::: Eye by SHENOK I :::: I I Amid the rush for salt, a supermarket added a salted fish stall next to it. I I 4 security guards to prevent customers from licking salt. This is how I The reason is that yesterday’s four-tailed salted fish was so good I < I was licked into a freshwater fish I One day later, four more large salted fish were licked into freshwater fish 52 lan.Waterwheel. Waterwheel invasion. Too much salt will lead to moisture. I I I I Continued from previous page I According to eyewitnesses, it was the security guard who licked it, so four ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ I The security guard was fired... by lnf I water 'oo oo' I A commotion broke out in a venue today. For some unknown reason, the attendees scrambled I Car :: Rushed onto the stage and caused a stampede. The police came to the hospital to try to get rid of the meeting. :::: I asked the host to get the truth about the incident. The host was dying I Enter :::::: He said breathlessly. I don’t know why. I just said it. :::::::: I sentence: Please let the leader send some comments. Everyone is welcome. "Results all I Intrusion :::: The person rushed up with red eyes by nightwizard :::: I I :::: I :::: I I I I I I < I I 53 lan.Waterwheel Waterwheel Invasion Water Splashing Festival I I I I﹢Splashing Festival I ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ I Origin I Water ' oo oo ' The difference between the same joke, Tianya Maopu, NetEase and Sina I Water Splashing Festival A buddy yelled who the hell splashed me Next I Car :: People advise that throwing it at you means giving you good luck. :::: I Brother yelled, stop doing this, who the hell poured boiling water on me I enter :::::: ::::::::: I However, the responses from netizens can deeply reflect the various micro-blogs I Invasion :::: The difference between blog forums. Be careful and don’t leave a word behind. :::: I I :::: Posts on Tianya Forum I :::: I 1st floor According to the venue requirements of the Water Splashing Festival, a pot of boiling water comes from I After going through all the trouble outside the court, I probably got splashed on it long ago. I I cold I 2nd Floor 1st Floor Long time no see I < I 3rd floor Yes, I have been chatting recently I 4th Floor Mr. Hu has not been here for a few days. He will play football another day 54 lan.Waterwheel Waterwheel Invasion Water Splashing Festival I I I I Continued from previous page I 5th Floor Okay, you book a venue ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ I I Water 'oo oo' Maopu forum thread I 1st floor sofa I Car :: 2nd Floor Bench Seeking the truth :::: I 3rd floor. Is it cooked? I Enter :::::: 4th floor, asking for human flesh :::::::: I 5th floor, yes, this guy who is human flesh I Intrusion :::: 6th floor This was done by the stupid boy from the second uncle next door to me :::: I 7th floor ID number 133011xxxxxxxxxxxx I :::: I :::: I NetEase Weibo comments I 1st Floor I I Splashing water has always brought good luck, but never splashing water brings boiling soup I If there wasn't an old grudge, jq must have been slandered I < I 2nd floor What a prostitute I 3rd floor, my hands are so wet 55 lan.Waterwheel Waterwheel Invasion Water Splashing Festival I I I I Continued from previous page I 4th floor ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ I Clear water brings blue sky, causing trouble at the Water Splashing Festival I Water 'oo oo' Suddenly I saw a man rolling all over the floor, screaming repeatedly as he was being scalded. I 5th floor I Che :: You pour cold water on my heart, I pour water on it to warm my chest :::: I Know the warmth and coldness of human relationships by myself. Why worry about the water being too hot I enter :::::: :::::::: I 16th Floor Don’t forget the man who carries the water when splashing water I Invasion :::: 17th Floor Don’t forget the person who brought the water when you bring it :::: I I :::: Sina Weibo comments I :::: I 1st floor forward Weibo I 2nd floor forward Weibo I I 3rd floor forward Weibo I 4th floor forward Weibo I < I 5th floor forward Weibo I 6th floor forward Weibo 56 lan.Waterwheel Waterwheel Invasion Water Splashing Festival I I I I Wonderful records of the waterwheel battle I Express 1 I'll rub it, that's fine too ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ I 2 Kill his whole family and throw it back I Water ' oo oo ' 3 9494 Tooth for tooth. It's basically cowardly to do this kind of thing. I am loser I Che :: 5 losers, I think this kind of thing must be done by Peking University :::: I Do you still remember the buddy who threw acid at Peking University? I Enter :::::: 6. :::::::: I joke 1 tooooooooooold I Invasion :::: 2 I guess Xinghe did it :::: I 3 Did we quarrel over separation from my aunt? I :::: 4 I want to call tooooold. Will the dark room be closed? I :::: I 5 I can tell you apart from my aunt. Damn, I can even endure pouring boiling water on it. I Asking for points, aunt by xana I I I Rice grain version: I < I Posted by mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. My mother-in-law is a rural woman. She gave her eldest son I In other words, my husband works as a cash machine and all the money is used to subsidize the child 57 lan.Waterwheel Waterwheel Invasion Water Splashing Festival I I I I Continued from previous page I Uncle, brother-in-law. Five thousand words are omitted here. My mother-in-law only knows ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ I Tao 5,000 words My mother-in-law insisted on coming to our house a few days ago. This I Water ' oo oo ' I haven't felt comfortable for a second in two days. I felt really good just now. I couldn't help but burst out, and poured a basin of hot water on her I Car :: Husband and wife version My husband is a Phoenix man and my home is their home :::: I Beijing Office, his second uncle came in May, 5,000 words, them in June I Enter :::::: Village Lao Wang and his family are here. Five thousand words. Last month, his second cousin :::::::: I come home. Five thousand words. Yesterday he told me about their family’s four cousins. I Intrusion:::: My aunt’s family is coming to Beijing and I can’t help but explode. :::: I poured hot water on him, omitting the child version I :::: Reply I :::: I 1L away from I 2L sofa I I 3L Looking for summary I 4L Looking at the poster, I seem to see myself. I < I Our family is the same. My mother-in-law. Phoenix husband. 5,000 words. I 5L sf 58 lan.Waterwheel Waterwheel Invasion Water Splashing Festival I I I I Continued from previous page I 6L Did Teacher Xu post the pp today? ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ I 7L Not available today. Teacher Xu posted it yesterday, using XX I What about water 'oo oo' cosmetics? I 8L Really? She is really willing to give it up I Che :: 9L I’m just curious. Teacher Xu’s skin is so good. :::: Is it natural or just good use of cosmetics? I Enter :::::: 107L. Teacher Xu’s skin condition is probably due to cosmetics. :::::::: I 108L away from I Invasion :::: 109L The top ten tourist groups passing by by molcov :::: I I :::: Please ask customer service MM. I was poured with boiling water ten times. Can you be my daughter? I :::: I friend? I Jingdong reply Hello O O Please pour it down first I I I think about it very much. Thank you for your support of JD.com and wish you a good shopping I joy I < I Do you support door-to-door boiling water service? I am in X City, X Township I X Village 59 lan.Waterwheel Waterwheel Invasion Water Splashing Festival I I I I Jingdong reply Hello, this water-splashing model does not support door-to-door service I Thank you for your support of JD.com and wish you a happy shopping ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ ⌒ I by miracle123 I Water 'oo oo' Ordinary young people use cold water to splash others I The artistic young man splashed himself with cold water I Car :: Young man splashes himself with boiling water by tet :::: I I Enter :::::: Wong Kar-wai version 3 minutes and 25 seconds after I was splashed with water for the first time. ::::::::: I was poured a bucket of water on me, but this time the water was boiling I Intrusion :::: by yutourr :::: I I :::: Who will challenge me for 300 rounds in the Three Kingdoms Killing Edition? I :::: I husband’s health is important I Rats, how dare you splash me? Being able to splash and escape is a real magical weapon. I I Immortal body, but he splashed on me, don’t worry, I have an old man I Father, brother, I was splashed. Be more careful next time. I A small group of reactionaries headed by Xinghe I . . Take advantage of the vast majority of ignorant people who don’t know the truth. . Che tried to overthrow the Zhutou Wei Guangzheng regime I . . in order to realize that oneself is separated from the aunt and so on. . , I Human purpose skills usually on April 1st I February 30th to March 1st, etc. ﹨ I The date not recognized by the object system comes into effect I " '. " ' The effect is short-lived and usually lasts only one or two days. I I <Aunt Fen> Xinghe tries to confuse the waterwheel, differentiation, softness ﹨ I A skill that transforms my pig-headed regime. This I ヽ Jiao Ke once again stated that there are only a group of aunts I Any attempt to create two batches of aunt I The skills of both aunt and uncle are incredible. I The heart of the waterwheel is doomed to fail I I I <Enter the bridal chamber> Auntie Xinghe Mingfen’s secret technique to seduce Chen Cang I Can See next page for details 61 lan.Galaxy I I I . .﹢Enter the bridal chamber I . . . Groom I . . Sender: xinghe Xinghe, message area: Joke . , I Title: Re: xinghe’s wedding I ﹨ I Do your job well: I " '. " ' mentioned in vivos' masterpiece: I: Title: Re: xinghe's wedding I : Sending station: Shuimu Community, within the station ﹨ I : I ヽ: On the big day, I still found time to drink water. I I first night I talked about my first night. Xinghe, who was over forty years old, took a cigarette I After thinking about it for a long time, I opened my mouth and spoke last night. I I by yutourr I 62 lan.Galaxy I I > I > I < < ﹨ I wish I > I > ﹨ < I < I < I I 63 online players I I I Background lines: Twenty years later, he is a good man again I . . . . I . . . I . , Caotou Tianzi ap9 biancr mmzt Yvt I ﹨ isava Jobs " '. " ' yoo yyzt I I Annual General yyzt I ﹨ I ヽ painter percyshelley I I I 64