发信人: bingo (天黑了), 信区: Joke
标 题: 迟到的礼物 2013年一月刊
发信站: 水木社区 (Sat Mar 2 20:29:01 2013), 站内
_______________________________
| `|1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|0|-|=| ← |
|tab|Q|W|E|R|T|Y|U|I|O|P|[|]| \ | 记得要投票哦!
| □ |A|S|D|F|G|H|J|K|L|;|'|ENT | ╱
|shift|Z|X|C|V|B|N|M|,|.|/|shift| ╱
|ctrl|◇|alt| |alt|ctrl| ╱
╱ ╱
↑ \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
请按space观赏 |` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ 迟到的礼物 _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
请按space观赏
这只是礼物 ╮
∕\\ ╰╮ __ ╱\
_ ╱ ∕ \\ ╰→ ╱__/ˊ \ ──、─、
╱ \ .╱/╱\∕ │\ /╱\_>── ╲ \
/ ╱ _ _ˋ ││ │╲/ \ \
/ / ˊ ` ` ˋ ╲/ │ / __ __ │ │
│ / ︵、 ︵、 \ \/│ ╱︵\ ╱︵\ │\/
\/│ \ツ \ツ │ │ \.ˊ)___\.ˊ) │
│ .─-、 │ __ __ │ ``/0 0\ `` │
/\ (_0_0_) │ ║──────────║ <╲ ˋ─' ╱\
▕╲╲______________╱︳║ joke ║ /╲ˋ─────ˊ ╱
│ ˋ._︵、 .──ˊ\ ║ ╱ │ │\ │
\ │ \ ﹨ ﹨─ˊ ╲ 2013年1月 月刊 (__ (_│ ││ /
╲│ ˋ-|/\| ˋ-ˊ ║ \ │ │/─ˊ
\ / ║ 迟到的礼物 ║ \ \__\
╲_______________╱ ║──────────║ ╭╲____________╱╮
(___/ \____) ╰─╯ ╰─╯
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 今日小寒
\╱︳
╲︳Jennyshaw
“今日小寒”小明站在日历前甜甜地笑了。
╱
╭────────╮ ╱
│ Hi,Xiao Ming! │ ╱
│ \ ╱ ╱
╰────────、\ \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
╲\ ∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -01- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \ 第一天.洗澡
\ \ 四岁儿子闹的笑话 zz 儿子:爸爸你的小JJ真大啊!
\╱︳ 爸爸:那是啊!爸爸是大人了!
╲︳cdefghij
第二天.幼儿园
老师:为什么又尿到裤子上了?
儿子:因为JJ太小了,要是像爸爸一样大就不会了! ╱
晚上回家吃饭 老师:哦?有多大啊? ╱
妈妈:老师今天有没有提问? 儿子:(双臂叉开)有这么大! ╱
儿子:有 老师:…………-_-|| ╱ ╱
妈妈:问的什么问题啊? \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
儿子:问爸爸JJ有多大! ∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
妈妈:…………………-_-|| |` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -02- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 老师闯红灯
\╱︳
╲︳hujiao ╭─╮
│●│
│○│
有老师闯红灯,交警拦住。 │○│ ╱
老师说:拜托,我教课要迟到了。 ╰┬╯ ╱
交警:你是老师? │ ╱
谢天谢地,我等了20年, │ ╱ ╱
请你把不再闯红灯写100遍。 ─┴─ \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -03- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 笑的肚子疼
\╱︳
╲︳two420
记得高一时候考地理,全班考砸,地理老师大怒:
“填空题白送的40分,居然有人打10分,20分? ╱
打十分到二十分的全都给我站起来,把卷子抄十遍!” ╱
这时同桌长叹:“好险,我21分。” ╱
正在庆幸时,后边一哥们也幽幽叹息: ╱ ╱
“我也好险呐,我9分”, \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
我和同桌集体石化。。。 ∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -04- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 技术型Joke 三个月的小朋友开始认人,见不到我会哼哼唧唧的。
\╱︳ 我给娃爹讲解这个现象:在前几个月,
╲︳cinque发表 Amirror转载 小朋友认为世界就是由他能看到的东西组成的。
你离开房间的时候,他觉得你消失了;
你回来的时候,对他来说已经是一个全新的人。
到四个月以后, ╱
他会在某个时间意识到这个世界比他想象中更加稳定, ╱
每天早上和他打招呼的你都是同一个人; ╱
陪他睡觉的玩具和白天抓在手上的玩具是同一个, ╱ ╱
也就是说物体即使离开他的视线也仍然存在, \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
这个原理叫“物体恒存”。 ∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
娃爹想了想说,也就是说我们终于有cookie了? |` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
我。。。。。。 、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -05- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ TP-LINK
\╱︳
╲︳wksmth
哥们单位新分来若干大学毕业生,名牌大学居多,
其中只有一个清华的,一个北大的。 ╱
清华的小伙子IT支持岗,喜欢那个北大的女孩, ╱
迟迟不敢表白,眼看就要被人捷足先登。 ╱
清华小伙着急的不行,求哥们支招, ╱ ╱
哥们沉思片刻,让他从库房拿了个无线路由器, \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
送个了北大的mm...... ∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -06- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 老公!对不起!!!
\╱︳
╲︳pocketduck发表 cu0转载
随着手术灯地熄灭,产房里传来一阵哭喊:
老公!对不起!!! ╱
等待中的男子额头直冒粗汗, ╱
他看了看表,已经是8月23日临晨了。 ╱
这时大夫从产房走出,揭下口罩, ╱ ╱
叹了口气说: \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
孩子是处女座,我们已经尽力了。 ∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -07- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 退票
\╱︳
╲︳macas _ _ _ _ _
╱│ / \ / \ / \ / \
今天听楼道里一个mm狂吼…… │ / /│ ││_
原来伊费劲巴拉刷到一张票, │ / \│ ││ \ ╱
然后狂喜之下头脑有些发热, │ /_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ ╱
然后看到有网上退票这个选项, ╱
然后就打算尝试一下是怎么回事, ╱ ╱
然后就知道是怎么回事了, \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
然后…… ∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -08- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 独领风骚的英语课
\╱︳ 还是英语课,老师每次讲练习题,都要叫人起来回答选哪
╲︳Jagbin 个,并且说明为什么。于是,有一次我根本不记得为什么
了,只记得讲过,怎么讲的忘记了。我就说:老师您反复
讲过啊!
╱
这句话说到老师心坎儿里去了,把我表扬了一番。还说: ╱
对!我讲过就是最好的理由!后来,很多人起来回答的时 ╱
候,自己不知道或者根本就是抄的,也学着我说老师您讲 ╱ ╱
过的! \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -09- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 独领风骚的英语课 直到有一次,一道很难的与语法无关的题,有个人选错了,
\╱︳ 但是他还信誓旦旦说讲过,被老师识破。老师看了看我,
╲︳续 当场宣布:我讲过不能再作为理由了!
___ ___ 然后老师又叫了很多人回答,都说不上来。这时,老师叫
/_ /| / / _ 我起来。其实我已经从前面人回答时老师的表现猜出正确
/__ / |/ /__/ 答案了,但也不知道为什么。全班这时的目光都聚焦在我╱
身上! ╱
╱
只见我不慌不忙的站起来,说:其实我也说不出为什么, ╱ ╱
就是凭感觉觉得这个最好!老师听了,拍拍讲桌,教室空 \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
气都凝固了。她说:对!要的就是这种感觉!!全班哗然…∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -09- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 悲摧的理科男
\╱︳ |
╲︳aaj发表 snowwomen转载 _ | _
╱ ╲ | ╱ ╲
__/_____\______|/_____\_______/__
孩子两岁了,特别喜欢画画。 / \ / \ / ╱
孩子说:爸爸,你画你画吧 ╲_╱| ╲_╱ ╱
我:好吧,爸爸给你画个正弦波... | ╱
孩子说:还画还画! | ╱ ╱
我:好吧,爸爸给你画条抛物线... \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -10- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 你有带波的女同学吗? 看到英语课的帖子,也想起了大一的一节英语课。
\╱︳
╲︳jyj 英语老师是个超级美女,
也忘了为什么了,有一次突然要点名让大家回答问题,
╭ ╮ 而且特意挑名字中有“波”字的,
/ ( 人 ) \ “XX波”,一个女生站起来回答; ╱
︶ ︶ “X波”,又一个女生站起来回答: ╱
“XX波”,又是一个女生站起来回答。 ╱
╱ ╱
突然,英语老师冒出了一句天雷滚滚的感叹 \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
“真有意思,怎么带波的都是女生?......” ∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
顿时,全班笑抽, |` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
过了几秒,英语老师也反应过来,娇躯乱颤了。 、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -11- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 2012年我碰到的最好的joker
\╱︳ 。 .
╲︳neverwsk 。
○ . ○ .
一硕士生参加校篮球比赛, ○ . ╭╮ ╱
决赛输了, 。 ╰╯ ╱
冠军队奖品是每人一个篮球, 。 ╱
他们队一人发了一个足球... . ╱ ╱
\ˊ ╱ ╱╱
∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -12- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ Re: 昌平人为什么对德胜门情有独钟呢?
\╱︳
╲︳samsung99发表 warranty转载
德胜->冠军->champion->昌平 ╱
╱
【 在 ACMIEEE (无知则无畏) 的大作中提到: 】 ╱
: 昌平的同志们貌似都把德胜门作为其中转站, ╱ ╱
: 到了德胜门,满眼的昌平线, \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
: 连华北电大都写,德胜门外朱辛庄, ∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
: ................... |` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -13- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 转载
\╱︳
╲︳cdefghij
前几天我一朋友喜得千金。
当时他媳妇难产,情况十分危急, ╱
医生的意思是如果过几分钟还生不出来的话, ╱
就只能选保大人还是孩子了。。。 ╱
这货扑通一声扑倒在医生面前大喊: ╱ ╱
大人!大人!求求你, \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
医生和孩子一定都要保住啊!!! ∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -14- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \ 同学聚会
\ \ 亲身经历的对号入座事件 一个 wsn 说:
\╱︳ 前几天把咱个女同学推倒了,
╲︳doser发表 maha转载 俩人去杭州玩了一圈,
还在划船上野战,爽。
至于哪个女同学,那不能告诉你们!
___ 大家:哦。。。。。 ╱
○○ 过了几天又聚会 ╱
__ 厶ㄣ __ ___ 一个美女说: ╱
╲ˋ──ˊ╱ 推荐大家去杭州玩, ╱ ╱
﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋ _ 前几天去了一趟, \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
_____________ 空气特别好,还划船来着 ╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
大家:哦。。。。。 |` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -15- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
\ \ 请按space观赏
\ \
\ \ 白内障患者的悲剧 │─╮╭╮╭╮╭─╮ ╭──
\╱︳ │ │││││ │ │
╲︳beinghalf │─╯│╰╯│╭─╯ ╰─╮
│ │ ││ ○ │
╰─╯ ╰─╯
话说最近一个白内障患者来北京做手术, ╱
做完几天终于可以打开罩子睁眼, ╱
结果大妈睁眼往窗外一瞧, ╱
当时就哭了, ╱ ╱
我的妈呀,这么多钱是白花了~~~! \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ joke -16- _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
mmjoke 请按space观赏
张广磊童鞋请你好好练字行吗?
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-14-1-1
我要粗去!! (转载)
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-14-1-2
本来想搜巴神打架事件…… (转载)
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-14-1-3 ╱
打鸡血的妹子。笑晕了 ╱
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-14-1-4 ╱
据说这就是台风的来源 ╱ ╱
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-14-1-5 \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
这里是北京 ∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
http://www.newsmth.net/bbsanc.php?p=872-18-14-1-6|` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ mmjoke _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
_
/ > 总作者
_ / / 、 ───────
< ╲ ││ /\ │︳ _ joke bingo
__ˋˊ▕▕ \││︳ ︵ >\ /|_ mmjoke ap9
(__.、| | | │︳\╲/ /╱╱/.-.╲ 小黑屋 雾霾中
╭.)| ▏▏ /│ ˋ、─ˊ _ _╲\ 刷墙工 halleyhit
/ 、﹨︳︳ / / ( _/ //╱/ \\ ╱
迟到的 / // / \ \ / / \/ \ / ╱/ ╱
︶││ \ ╲_╱╱ / / ╱
\/ ˋ─ˊ / / ╱ ╱
\/ \ˊ ╱ ╱╱
∕╲ 、╱╱\ ╱╱
看完月刊,记得投票哦~ |` \﹨/ / ╲ *╱
、ˋ /╲_ˋ(︶)_/ ˊ \ ∕
─────────────────────── ╲ ╲ˋ─ˊ.ˋ、╲ -ˊ ╱ˊ
2013年1月 /╱ _/╲/)\ (○/_\_╲ 、
___ - END - _________________________________ ─/ ˋ-、│\╱ ___╲ˋ
───────────────────────── ˊ \`─ .`﹨/ ╱ ╮ /
☆╯ˋ、╯╲|\/ ╰ ╱
ˋ─ˊ ˋ-ˊ
Sender: bingo It’s dark, message area: Joke
Title: A Late Gift January 2013
Sending station: Shuimu Community Sat Mar 2 20:29:01 2013 , within the station
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0
tab Q W E R T Y U I O P [ ] Remember to vote
A S D F G H J K L ; ' ENT
shift Z X C V B N M , . shift
ctrl alt alt ctrl
Please click space to watch ﹨
.
January 2013
late gift
.﹨
Please press space to watch
it's just a gift
.>
ツ ツ . .
. 0 0
0 0 < '
joke
. .
﹨ ﹨ January 2013 Monthly
late gift
Please press space to watch
Xiaohan today
Jennyshaw
Xiaohan today Xiaoming stood in front of the calendar and smiled sweetly
Hi,Xiao Ming!
﹨
.
January 2013
joke 01
.﹨
Please press space to watch
First day. Take a shower
A joke made by a four-year-old son zz Son, Dad, your little penis is so big
Dad, that’s right. Dad is an adult now.
cdefghij
The next day. Kindergarten
Teacher, why did you pee on your pants again?
Son, because JJ is too young. If he were as old as his father, he wouldn’t be able to
Go home for dinner tonight, teacher, how big is it?
Mom, did the teacher ask any questions today? My son, with his arms spread wide, is so big.
Son has teacher
Mom, what question did you ask?
Son asked dad how old JJ was
Mother \
.
January 2013
joke 02
.﹨
Please press space to watch
Teacher runs red light
hujiao
A teacher ran a red light and was stopped by the traffic police
The teacher said, please, I'm going to be late for teaching.
Traffic police, you are a teacher
Thank God I waited 20 years
Please write "Never run a red light again" 100 times
﹨
.
January 2013
joke 03
.﹨
Please press space to watch
Stomach hurts from laughing
two420
I remember when I was a freshman in high school, the whole class failed the geography test and the geography teacher was furious.
I got 40 points for free for filling in the blanks, but someone actually gave me 10 points or 20 points.
Everyone who scored ten to twenty points will stand up and copy the paper ten times.
At this time, my deskmate sighed, "It's so dangerous. I got 21 points."
Just as I was rejoicing, a buddy behind me also sighed quietly.
I'm pretty safe too. My score is 9.
My deskmate and I were collectively petrified
﹨
.
January 2013
joke 04
.﹨
Please press space to watch
Technical Joke. My three-month-old child is beginning to recognize people. He will groan when he doesn’t see me.
I explained this phenomenon to my baby’s father a few months ago
Posted by cinque and reprinted by Amirror Children believe that the world is made up of the things they can see.
When you left the room he felt like you disappeared
When you come back, you will be a completely new person to him.
to four months later
At some point he will realize that the world is more stable than he imagined
You are the same person who greets him every morning
The toy he sleeps with is the same toy he holds in his hand during the day
In other words, the object still exists even if it leaves his sight.
This principle is called object permanence
The father thought for a while and said, that means we finally have cookies﹨
I
.
January 2013
joke 05
.﹨
Please press space to watch
TP LINK
wksmth
My friend's unit has recently recruited some college graduates, mostly from prestigious universities.
Among them, there is only one from Tsinghua University and one from Peking University.
The guy from Tsinghua University works in IT support. He likes the girl from Peking University.
I haven’t dared to confess my love for so long, and I’m about to be beaten first.
The guy from Tsinghua University is very anxious. Please give me some advice.
The buddy thought for a moment and asked him to get a wireless router from the warehouse.
I gave it to my mm from Peking University...
﹨
.
January 2013
joke 06
.﹨
Please press space to watch
Husband, I'm sorry
Published by pocketduck and reposted by cu0
As the operating light went out, there was a burst of crying in the delivery room.
Husband, I'm sorry
The waiting man was sweating profusely on his forehead.
He looked at his watch and saw that it was already the morning of August 23rd.
At this time, the doctor walked out of the delivery room and took off his mask.
Sighed and said
The child is a Virgo and we have tried our best
﹨
.
January 2013
joke 07
.﹨
Please press space to watch
Refund
macas
Today I heard a girl yelling in the corridor
It turns out that Ifejinbala got a ticket
Then my head became a little hot in the ecstasy
Then I saw the option of online refund.
Then I decided to give it a try and see what happened.
Then you'll know what's going on
Then
﹨
.
January 2013
joke 08
.﹨
Please press space to watch
Unique English class
It's still an English class. Every time the teacher teaches exercises, he has to ask people to get up and answer questions.
Jagbin and explain why So one time I don't even remember why
I only remember saying it. I forgot how it was said. I just said, teacher, please repeat
I told you
This sentence touched the heart of the teacher. He praised me and said
Yes, I told you that was the best reason. Later, when many people stood up to answer
When you don’t know, or you simply copied it, you should also imitate what I say, teacher.
Passed
﹨
.
January 2013
joke 09
.﹨
Please press space to watch
The outstanding English class, until one time, someone chose the wrong question for a difficult question that had nothing to do with grammar.
But he still swore that he was found out by the teacher. The teacher looked at me.
Continued: Announced on the spot. What I said can no longer be used as a reason.
Then the teacher asked many people to answer, but none of them could answer. At this time, the teacher called
I got up. In fact, I already guessed the correct answer from the teacher's performance when the previous person answered.
I got the answer, but I don’t know why. At this time, the whole class’s eyes were focused on me.
body
I stood up calmly and said, actually, I can’t tell why.
I just feel that this is the best. After hearing this, the teacher patted the desk and the classroom was empty.
She was so angry that she said yes, this is the feeling she wanted. The whole class was in an uproar.
﹨
.
January 2013
joke 09
.﹨
Please press space to watch
Sad science guy
aaj published snowwomen reposted
The child is two years old and especially likes to draw.
The child said, Dad, you can paint.
OK, Dad will draw you a sine wave...
The child said that he still painted again and again.
OK, daddy, draw a parabola for you...
﹨
.
January 2013
joke 10
.﹨
Please press space to watch
Do you have any female classmates who have sex? When I saw the post about the English class, it also reminded me of an English class in my freshman year.
jyj English teacher is a super beauty
I forgot why. One time I suddenly asked everyone to answer questions.
And I specially picked those with the word "wave" in their names.
People XX wave A girl stood up and answered
X Wave Another girl stood up and answered
XX wave Another girl stood up and answered
Suddenly, the English teacher made a thunderous exclamation.
It's really interesting how the ones with waves are all girls...
Suddenly the whole class burst into laughter﹨
After a few seconds, the English teacher also reacted, and her delicate body was shaking wildly.
.
January 2013
joke 11
.﹨
Please press space to watch
The best joker I met in 2012
.
neverwsk
. .
A master's student participated in a school basketball game.
Lost in the final
The prize for the championship team is a basketball for each person
Each member of their team was handed a football... .
﹨
.
January 2013
joke 12
.﹨
Please press space to watch
Re: Why do people in Changping have a special liking for Deshengmen?
Posted by samsung99 Warranty reprint
Desheng >Champion >champion >Changping
In the ACMIEEE masterpiece "Ignorance is Fearless" mentioned:
: The comrades in Changping all seem to use Deshengmen as their transit point.
: Arrive at Deshengmen and see the Changping Line.
: Even North China Radio and TV University wrote about Zhu Xinzhuang outside Deshengmen
: .............﹨
.
January 2013
joke 13
.﹨
Please press space to watch
Reprint
cdefghij
A few days ago, a friend of mine got a daughter.
At that time, his wife had a difficult delivery and was in very critical condition.
What the doctor means is that if you can't give birth after a few minutes,
The only choice is to protect adults or children.
This guy plopped down in front of the doctor and yelled
My Lord, My Lord, please.
Both the doctor and the child must be protected.
﹨
.
January 2013
joke 14
.﹨
Please press space to watch
classmate reunion
Personal experience of check-in incident, a wsn said
A few days ago, I pushed a female classmate of ours down.
Posted by doser and reposted by maha The two of them went to Hangzhou for a trip
It’s so cool to go out on a rowing boat
As for which female classmate, I can’t tell you.
Everybody oh
We met again after a few days
厶ㄣ A beautiful woman said
Recommend everyone to visit Hangzhou
I went there a few days ago
The air is very good and I can even row a boat.
Everyone oh ﹨
.
January 2013
joke 15
.﹨
Please press space to watch
The tragedy of cataract patients
beinghalf
Let me tell you that a cataract patient recently came to Beijing for surgery.
After a few days, I was finally able to open the hood and open my eyes.
Finally, the aunt opened her eyes and looked out the window,
I cried then,
Oh my god, so much money is wasted!
﹨
.
January 2013
joke 16
.﹨
mmjoke Please press space to watch
Zhang Guanglei, can you please practice calligraphy well?
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 14 1 1
I want to remove it and reprint it
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 14 1 2
I originally wanted to search for the Ba Shen fight incident and reprint it.
http: www.newsmth.netbbsanc.php?p 872 18 14 1 3
The girl who got chicken blood fainted from laughing
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 14 1 4
It is said that this is the source of the typhoon
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 14 1 5
This is Beijing
http: www.newsmth.net bbsanc.php?p 872 18 14 1 6﹨
.
January 2013
mmjoke
.﹨
> Chief author
< joke bingo
> mmjoke ap9
. . . Small dark room in the haze
. wall painter halleyhit
﹨
late
After reading the monthly magazine, remember to vote ﹨
.
January 2013
END
.﹨